Tug of War: Family Secrets
by LanieSullivan
Summary: This is the long-awaited sequel to Tug of War and revamp of Boys Will Be Boys with a title change. Many secrets being kept in the Stetson-King household are revealed one by one. If you haven't read the original "Tug of War," parts of this one won't make s
1. Chapter 1

**Tug of War: Family Secrets**

Timeline: February 1997

 **February 10, 1997 6:00AM**

Lee Stetson paced back and forth relentlessly in the secluded well-secured office, and office that very few fields agents, including those with his experience and tenure, had ever been allowed inside. He had known when he'd seen the coded message on his desk late last night before leaving the office for the day that it could only mean one thing: trouble. He wasn't wrong. He ran both hands through his hair as he continued his journey back and forth in front of the large, solid mahogany desk, barely taking notice of the expensive one-of-a-kind paintings on the wall as he contemplated what was being asked of him.

He finally halted mid-step and leaned over the desk, glaring at the man behind it and said, "No! Absolutely not! I won't do it." He then pointed his finger as the other man and added, "and you can't make me!' It sounded childish he knew. He couldn't count the number of times over the past ten years that he'd heard those same words come out of the mouths of his children, but he didn't care.

"I'm afraid you have no choice," the older man replied as he twirled his cigarette holder.

"Oh, I have a choice," Lee fired back. "You'll have my resignation on this desk by the end of the day." He tapped his finger on the desk as if to demonstrate.

"No, I won't and you and I both know it," Austin Smyth answered keeping his cool despite the fact that the hot-headed agent in front of him was not. He took a long drag from his cigarette and continued. "Not as long as you have a family to support, including a child in law school, one starting medical school in the fall...young James has done quite well for himself...working so hard, taking summer courses to finish college in three years instead of four..."

"It's _Jamie_ , okay?" Lee snapped. "Nobody, not even his mother, calls him James." Thoughts of Amanda only made Lee's anger flare even more at his boss. What Smyth was asking him to do to her wasn't fair or right.

"Then you've got one in high school and three more in elementary school. How much does Little League cost these days?" he asked purely rhetorically, "Then there's your namesake's cheerleading expenses. How old is little Leah these days? Thirteen?"

"Fourteen," Lee corrected. "She turned fourteen last October."

"And Chip and Dale?" Smith inquired even though he knew the answer.

"If you mean Matt and Jennie, they're nine, just turned nine the first of last month, Emily will be eight in at the end of this month, Phillip's turning twenty-four _next_ month and Jamie just turned twenty-one in November. What's your point?"

"My point, Scarecrow, is that you are a dedicated family man. The fact that you just rattled off the birthdays of all your children without having to stop to think about it proves that-"

"Which is exactly why I can't do the job you're asking me to do!" Lee cut in with a steely gaze at the agency's director. "I'll quit first."

"No...You won't," Smyth said.

"Don't be so sure. After twenty-four years of this, I've had enough! You're just going to have to find someone else to do your dirty work for once!"

"I'm afraid I can't. I don't like it any better than you do, but you're not only the best man for the job, but the _only_ man for the job; the only one with the experience, the skills and furthermore, the connections to pull off this hat trick, I'm afraid."

"I'll resign," Lee threatened again.

"You won't," Smyth argued as he stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray on his desk, then reached for a file beside it, handing it to Lee, "And this is why you won't."

"What is this?" Lee snapped glancing at the file, noticing that it was the agency's standard personnel file, but didn't look at the name, assuming that it was the subject of his new assignment.

"Open it and find out," Smyth barked with a wave of his hand.

Lee did so, and his eyes widened in shock at the color photo right inside the front cover of the manila file folder, a photo he knew all too well as a copy of the same photograph adorned the mantle in his living room. "No," Lee said with a firm shake of his head. "That's not possible."

"I'm afraid it is," Smyth confirmed. "I interviewed the young lad myself."

"How did we not know about this? Amanda and me, I mean?" He looked at his boss quizzically.

"That's partially my doing and partially his. He approached me personally, not an easy thing to do as I'm sure you know since I keep my distance as much as I can from the help, preferring to stick to my very posh hidey-hole here." Smyth gestured to the large lavishly decorated office, "Or my private country clubs where I can't be approached, a matter of necessity given the fact that I'm not well liked because of the difficult choices that I'm sometimes forced to make, this being one of them."

"Why would you keep something like this from us? On a need-to-know basis, this is something we needed to know." Lee glowered at Smyth, "So, why?"

"When your boy there came to me, he insisted that during his recruiting period, I not say a word to anyone. He was terribly afraid that his doting daddy would try to talk him out of it."

"You're not wrong about that," Lee agreed vehemently. "Joe King's going to have kittens over this."

"Oh, I'm sure he will, but he wasn't talking about his father, he was talking about you," Smyth replied pointedly. "This is how it's going to work. Your misses will be moved back to the training department for that one." He nodded toward the folder in Lee's hand. "Billy will be giving her the special assignment today while you...You will be working on this one." Smyth handed him another personnel file, this time the one related to his new assignment.

Lee grudgingly took the other file. "You can't be serious," he protested weakly. "This is who you suspect?"

Smyth nodded. "I wish I weren't serious, there's enough circumstantial evidence there to merit further investigation. The problem is that getting RD Frampton and her team on board for a full-scale review will get too many people involved and this has to be handled delicately to avoid our little mole digging herself a bigger hole to hide in. I wish there were another option, but this isn't my choice. This order was handed down from the White House directly to the Department of Justice and we both know that's where our paychecks come from." Smyth leaned forward on his desk, steepling his hands together. "I don't think that I have to tell you, but this assignment goes no further than this office. Not even Melrose knows. As far as everyone is concerned, you're going on assignment as Station One to help with the new recruits as disciplinary action for that reckless car chase last week that demolished two agency sedans." When Lee nodded in acknowledgement, he continued. "You also can't use any of the regular agency resources. There can't be a paper trail of any kind. Your contact will only be with me. That way no one will question it since it will be made public via our ever-reliable grapevine that you're on my hit list."

"God," Lee muttered as he raked his free hand through his hair. "I can't believe this."

"Just think of your family, Scarecrow," Smyth reminded.

"I _am_ thinking of my family..." he said sadly. "I'm thinking of how this is going to destroy them."

"Think of how much more your family would be destroyed if your children were to become motherless."

"What?" Lee looked at him, a startled look on his face.

"That file you hold, as I said is all circumstantial, but it seems to indicate that not only is our little chickadee playing footsie with the other side, but from data that I was able to gather myself, that she has put a contract out on your wife."

"Why Amanda?" Lee questioned.

"Who do you think compiled most of that data?" Smyth replied. "I knew I made the right decision a decade ago offering her a job as a full-time agent. She's smart, notices things that others don't. When she found these inconsistencies, she went straight to the justice department for guidance, rather than taking it to internal affairs fearing that someone in IA might be corrupt as well. It made is as far as the secret service and from there trickled down to me."

Lee heaved a deep sigh as he glanced down at the well-worn wedding band on his left hand, his thoughts drifting to his and Amanda's upcoming wedding anniversary this Friday and the plans they'd made to go away for the weekend as they done for their last nine anniversaries. He resigned himself to the fact that he was once again going to have to pull out the Scarecrow, swinging playboy persona that had suited him so well and made him feel so free over a decade ago, but now felt confining. He made one last-ditch effort to get out of it by saying, "Those skills you mention?" When Dr. Smyth raised a questioning eyebrow while fitting a new cigarette into his holder, he continued, "I've been married to Amanda for almost ten years. What makes you think I've still got them?"

"If the smile I saw on your Lady Scarecrow's face last Friday morning is any indication, you've still got them. And didn't I just catch the two of you in a clinch in the Q Bureau twice last week?" He winked at him. "No, you've still got it. That argument won't work. You may have confined yourself to one cornfield for a while, but a scarecrow's job is to chase the birdies, isn't it?"

"Will you spare me the damned verbal potpourri, for once?" Lee sniped. At Dr. Smyth's stern look, he asked sheepishly, "So, when do I start?"

"The moment you leave my office," Smyth answered. "And remember, when you get to your meeting with Billy, you're to act surprised by the news in the other folder I showed you...and that one..."

"Yeah, I got it," Lee grumbled as he handed Smyth back the folder in his hand. "Eyes only, I know the drill."

"All right, all right, I'll do it, but on one condition," Lee said in a warning tone.

"And that would be?"

"Protection...for Amanda," Lee answered firmly. "If there really is a contract out on her, I want her guarded. Out at Station One, she'll be exposed..."

"Already taken care of," Smyth replied. "You'll be there yourself to look out for her, as you'll find out in your morning briefing with Billy."

"Great," Lee mumbled.

"Don't forget, it has to look real. Even your lovely bride can't suspect that it's not," Smyth warned, knowing all too well how hard it was for the man who kept the nation's secrets to keep any secrets from his wife.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Lee muttered as he violently yanked open the door to the office and vacated it as soon as possible walking to the internal elevator as fast as his legs would carry him, hoping to see Amanda before the hoopla had to start, to spend at least one more normal moment with her before he broke her heart. "Come on, come on, come on," he grumbled as the elevator began what seemed like the slowest descent in history. Why was it that every time you were in a hurry, everything seemed to slow down? Particularly now when he wanted to get home to his wife just to tell her how much he loved her, how much he'd treasured their life together.

As the elevator slowed, he exited rapidly before the doors even fully opened, grateful that in the early morning hours, there were very few people in the corridors of the agency. He just had to get home before Amanda got to the office. His heart leapt as he rounded the final corner to the outside elevator, his destination in sight, but then his hopes fell as he saw his wife exiting it. _Too late,_ he thought miserably as Amanda walked cheerily toward him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, Sweetheart," Amanda said with a happy smile. "Did you get called into work for an early meeting too?"

"Something like that," Lee answered half-heartedly trying not to look at the bright smile that he loved so much. He recalled with vivid clarity how he'd once given her a hard time about how perky she was in the morning, but he'd found over the years that that was just one of many, many things that had endeared her to him. Her perkiness got him revved up in the morning when otherwise, he'd be sluggish and foul-tempered. Having her and their equally exuberant children running around the house in the early morning hours while they got ready to start the day was one of life's simple pleasures that in his bachelor days, he'd never have imagined could bring him such joy. _But those days are over,_ he thought dismally. _Or soon will be._ He cast a sideways glance at his wife, thinking about her forgiving nature, but he couldn't help wondering how, even with her sweet disposition and her years of unwavering faith in him, she could ever possibly forgive him for what he was about to do.

"You know, you'd think after ten years, you wouldn't still be able to sneak out of bed without waking me..." Lee's thoughts continued to wander as Amanda rambled about their years together, his heart breaking as he knew it was all about to come to an end, "...but I guarantee this weekend that I'm going to do everything I can to make you want to stay in bed." She gave him a seductive grin as she opened the door to the bullpen. When he didn't respond, she instinctively knew something was up. "What's wrong?" Amanda paused, placing her free hand on his arm, a gesture that would normally soothe him, but now only made him hurt more.

"Nothing," he answered nonchalantly with a shrug and shook off her touch, knowing that his resolve would crumble if he didn't as Smyth's words echoed in his ears. He brushed past her as he made his way into the bullpen, the brief contact sending a jolt through him the way that touching her always did.

"Lee, come on," Amanda said in a what-gives tone. "Something's going on. Just last night, you seemed so excited about the weekend getaway we have planned for our anniversary."

Lee paused in his step for a moment, took a deep breath as he thought grimly, _Show time_. He plastered on his game face and whipped around to face her. "Look, Amanda, would you knock it off about this weekend already? It's not like it's that big a deal!"

"Lee, how can you say that?" Amanda questioned with a horrified look on her face. He knew how important this was to her. "This is our _tenth_ anniversary. You know what that means. It _is_ a big deal to me." She blinked back the tears that had begun to form in her eyes and questioned in a softer voice, "You understand that, don't you?"

Lee cringed inwardly at the broken-hearted look on her face, but plunged on, knowing that her life may depend on him putting on a good show. His hardened facial expression never changing, he delivered the deathblow; the one that he was sure would kill every bit of love she had for him. _Please, forgive me, Amanda,_ he screamed inside while his words belied his true thoughts. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You filed for divorce from your ex before you ever got to your tenth anniversary. Big deal. You've told me that over and over again. It's no wonder he got sick of you with the way you yammer on and on and on. Being there myself now, I can't say I blame him for wanting to get away from you as much as possible. Ten years of this crap and I'm just itching to go back to living out of a suitcase." He turned from her and walked toward Billy's office, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stand the look he'd see on her face, knowing that if he saw it, his charade would be shot and he'd have no choice but to take her in his arms, apologize profusely and beg her to show mercy on him. He'd already fought that urge when he'd seen her fighting tears, hating hurting her but at the same time, knowing that he was doing what had to be done.

"Lee, how can you say these things to me?" Amanda demanded as she reached for his arm again, still trying to keep her cool, but inwardly wondering just what the hell was going on with him. Had something happened in his early morning meeting to set him off? "After all our years together, everything we've been through...I-I-I don't understand. We've both been looking forward to this weekend for a month now and I-I-I thought..." Her voice trailed off as she choked back the tears, stubbornly refusing to let them fall in front of a bullpen full of people. "I mean, if I...If I've done something to make you angry, I think we should talk about it...You know, in private."

"I'm sick to death of talking. That's all you ever want to do...Just talk, talk, talk. I'm tired of it! I want a little action, you hear me!" He then turned from her again and pushed his way into Billy's office.

"Action?" Amanda responded her eyes flaring as she stormed in behind him, determined to get to the bottom of his strange behavior. "Is that what you said? Well, I suppose that you just forgot that that's what this weekend was supposed to be all about, you, me..."

"Blah, blah, blah," Lee replied in a mocking tone as he saw the object of his assignment standing to the side of Billy's desk. "Yeah, I get it, the same weekend every year, the same crap hole-in-the-wall hotel, same room, same everything, including the same skinny woman." He turned to her with a gesture at her slender frame. "You know, I'd thought after squeezing out a couple of kids, you might have put a little meat on your bony frame, but no!"

"Scarecrow!"Billy bellowed at his outburst not quite believing what he was hearing. He'd seen his favorite pair of agents fight before, but he'd never seen Lee blatantly insult Amanda like this.

"Oh, well, excuse me for taking care of myself and trying to keep myself in good shape!" Amanda retorted hotly.

"That's what you call good shape?" Lee asked her, and then turned to the other woman in the room. "Now, Amie, here, she's got a good shape. She's a woman who's actually got some real curves."

"Huh," Amanda replied not knowing quite what else to say in her astonishment at her husband's words. She then turned to Amie and said to her, "Well, congratulation, Amie, I guess you finally got him to notice you, after all." She then turned on her heel and stormed out, quickly brushing past Francine, who was on her way to Billy's office, escaping the bullpen as fast as her legs would carry her, the unshed tears finally falling as she made her way into ladies' room off the corridor and locked herself in the nearest stall.

As she sank wearily down onto the closed toilet, she buried her face in her hands and sobbed as she recalled the first time that she'd met Amie.

 _ **December 23, 1987**_

 _Lee and Amanda walked through the bullpen together toward Billy's office, having a heated debate amid curious onlookers. "Amanda, why can't you ever just listen to me for once, huh?"Lee was saying as he pushed open the door to their boss' office where Billy, Francine, Jonathan and another woman neither of them knew were already assembled._

 _"I am listening," Amanda argued. "But that doesn't mean that I agree with what you're saying."_

 _"You are the most stubborn-"_

 _"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Billy interjected bringing their argument to a screeching halt._

 _"What?" Lee snapped while Amanda said politely, "Yes, Sir," both turning their attention to Billy._

 _"Have a seat both of you," Billy nodded toward the chairs in front of the desk._

 _Lee sighed as he helped his very pregnant wife to sit before taking a seat beside her._

 _"Trouble in paradise?"Francine quipped with an arched eyebrow as she watched them, noticing the obvious tension between them._

 _"Button it, Francine," Billy commanded his assistant who held up her hands in surrender. "Now, you two," Billy resumed his reason for calling the pair into his office. He then nodded to the woman standing to the right of his desk. "I'd like you to both meet Amelia Rodman. She just transferred in from the Chicago field office."_

 _"Hello," Amanda greeted her warmly but was met by a cool glare while Lee silently looked the woman up and down as if sizing her up._

 _"Call me Amie," the agent replied with a smile directed at Lee as she reached to shake his hand._

 _"Lee," he replied as he shook her hand._

 _"And I'm Amanda. It's very nice to meet you, Amie," his wife tried again with a pleasant smile, offering her own hand. The woman reluctantly returned Amanda's handshake, but never took her eyes off Lee. Amanda glanced at her husband who appeared not to notice that the striking redhead was undressing him with her eyes._

 _"Amie has been looking for an opportunity to transfer to DC for a while, so since Amanda's going to be starting her maternity leave, I thought this would be the perfect time to bring her in to help out in both the training department," Billy explained, then nodded toward Lee, "And give you an extra hand in the Q Bureau."_

 _"Now, wait a minute, Billy," Lee protested. "I don't need an extra hand upstairs. Amanda's been helping Jonathan get used to the way we do things up there pretty well over the past few months and he's gotten pretty good at it." He nodded cordially to Jonathan._

 _"Thank you," Jonathan said while Francine beamed with pride at her fiancé as she idly fiddled with the diamond ring she wore._

 _"Besides that, I'm not taking my leave yet," Amanda added as she folded her arms across her chest with a glare at her husband._

 _"Yes, you are," Lee countered to his wife with a pointed look._

 _"No, I'm not," Amanda fired back._

 _"Amanda," Lee growled in a warning tone._

 _"Listen-"_

 _"Hold it!" Billy bellowed holding his hands up. "Is that what you two were arguing about when you came in here?"_

 _Lee nodded while Amanda answered, "Yes, Sir."_

 _"Well, let me settle this for you right now." Billy picked up a file from his desk, turned his attention to Amanda and said, "I have your latest report from Dr. Kelford and he insists that it's time you take your leave."_

 _Lee smirked at his wife, a look of smug satisfaction on his face. "But, Sir, I'm perfectly healthy. My own doctor says so," Amanda countered. "Besides that, I'm not due until the end of January and I have a lot of work to do in the training department. I've got new recruits from Station one starting after the first of the year that I have to prepare for, I have classes to prepare lesson plans for, plus Lee's reports are behind and you know that if I don't do them, they won't get done."_

 _"Hey," Lee pouted._

 _"Lee, you know it's true. You hate doing paperwork."_

 _"But that doesn't mean-"_

 _"Enough, People!" Billy snapped. "This is non-negotiable. Amanda, as of the end of day today, you're taking your leave. That's an order. Now, I want to take some time today to catch Amie up on where you're at in the training department and then all three of you," He nodded toward Jonathan, "...can bring her up to speed on what's happening upstairs."_

 _"But, Sir..." Amanda began._

 _"No arguments, Amanda. Amie will be taking over the training department permanently and while you're on leave, she'll act as Lee's partner as needed."_

 _"Hold on just a damn minute, Billy!" Lee griped as he rose from his seat. "I already_ _ **have**_ _a partner." He nodded toward Amanda. "And I don't see why Jonathan can't just fill in while Amanda's gone the way he already has been."_

 _"I have to agree," Francine chimed in. "I was skeptical at first about him working here, but you have to admit that he's done a good job."_

 _"That's not in question," Billy conceded, "But you all know that there are times that Lee will need a trained field agent backing him up. As good as Jonathan's been, he's still just a civilian."_

 _"That didn't seem to bother you a couple of years ago when you kept pushing Amanda on me," Lee retorted._

 _"Are you complaining?" Amanda replied hotly._

 _"Uh...I...no...Amanda...you...uh..."Lee stammered at the perturbed look on his wife's face._

 _"Listen," Jonathan began. "If I could just put my two cents in here...I don't think it's a bad idea at all to have another trained agent in the office. I mean, despite the compliments you've given me on my work, I've still ended up in some situations that I wasn't prepared for over the past six months."_

 _"Agreed," Billy said. "Amanda's been able to help a little when she wasn't working with the trainees, but she's going to be gone so an extra body filling in during that time will help with that." Billy turned his attention back to Lee and continued. "It's only temporary. You'll have Amanda back as your full-time partner once she returns from her maternity leave." He glanced at Amanda. "That is, assuming that you still want to return to full-time agent status once you have the twins. I know it's going to be a challenge with a full house at home between two teenage boys, a five-year-old and two new babies."_

 _"I do, Sir," Amanda answered confidently. "It will be a challenge, but I'll manage just like I did when I was still a single mother of two. I have my mother to help and this time, I'm not doing it alone now that I have a husband who sticks around and helps look after the children."_

Amanda's recollections were interrupted by a tapping on the door of the stall, "Amanda?" Francine's voice said hesitantly.

Amanda hastily wiped away her tears, rose from her perch, unlocked the door and prepared for the inquisition she knew was sure to come.


	3. Chapter 3

Amanda took a deep breath to steel herself for facing Francine as she stepped out of the stall.

Francine took one look at her and instantly asked, "What the hell did he do? I'm gonna' kick his ass!"

"Francine, don't worry about it," Amanda said in a much more upbeat tone than she felt as she tried to figure out what was going on with her husband and why he'd said the hurtful words that he had. He couldn't have meant them, could he? She pasted on a bright smile and added, "Everything's fine."

"Amanda, come on!" Francine countered disbelievingly. "This is me you're talking to. We've known each other for fourteen years and I've known Lee even longer. Plus, I heard yelling. You two fighting?" When Amanda ignored her question and busied herself with trying to fix her make-up at the mirror, she continued to probe. "And I've noticed a bit of tension between you two lately."

"It'll blow over," Amanda answered optimistically."I...um...I think just the stress of our busy family life is getting to him."

"Do you wanna' talk about it?" Francine asked sympathetically.

"I-I-I don't know. If it's what I think it is, it started innocently enough. It was last Thursday night. We were spending a quiet evening at home with the children... "

 _Lee and Amanda were sitting at their dining room table watching as their three youngest children did their homework._

 _"You're doing great, Sweetheart." Amanda said, looking over Jennie's shoulder._

 _"Thanks, Mom." She said. She bit her lip thoughtfully, a habit she picked up from her mother as she bent over her fractions. Amanda turned to Matt when Emily caught her attention._

 _"Mom, how come Phillip doesn't come see us very much?" she asked._

 _"Well, Em. He's a grown-up now. He has his own life. But I bet now that he's just about finished with law school, he'll be around more often."_

 _"Why'd he have to move out anyway?" Matt wanted to know._

 _"He just needed his own space when he went to college." Lee answered._

 _"But Jamie didn't move out when he went to college," Emily argued._

 _"But he will be, soon. He's starting medical school in the fall. Besides, Charlottesville's where Phillip's going to school is a bit of a drive from here and Jamie's school in Georgetown's just across the bridge."_

 _"But why do they have to leave? Don't they like us anymore? And what about Leah? Now that she's got her boyfriend, she doesn't even care about us anymore," Jennie joined in her little sister's sulking._

 _"Of course they do, Sweetheart." Amanda answered. "It's just that Phillip and Jamie are trying to be their own men now and that's easier to do when they're not around your dad and me. As far as Leah goes, she's a teenager now and she's trying to learn how to be a grown-up and that means going out with her friends without Mom and Dad around." Amanda hated using the word "boyfriend." Leah was only 14. She was far too young to be getting serious about anyone._

 _"Don't forget, Phillip's coming over next weekend to help look after you munchkins so your mom and I can celebrate our anniversary." Lee reminded them. "Now, it's time for you three to head off to bed."_

 _"Do we have to?" Matt groaned._

 _"Yes, you do." Amanda said._

 _"Why can't we wait up until Jamie gets home?"_

 _"Because you've got school in the morning and there's no telling how late it will be when Jamie gets home."_

 _"Well, can we wait up for Leah then?"_

 _Amanda looked at her watch. "Well, it's almost nine and that's her curfew time, so she should be home pretty soon, probably just in time to say goodnight to you guys. Now, scoot!" Emily, Matt and Jennie kissed their parents goodnight and reluctantly headed to their rooms._

 _"Now, Mrs. Stetson, what do you say we head off to bed ourselves?" Lee suggested playfully as he reached for his wife._

 _"Really, Lee. Don't you think we should at least wait until the kids are asleep?" He sighed. "Besides, Leah's not even home yet."_

 _"I guess you're right." He pulled away and began walking toward the living room._

 _Amanda quickly caught up to him. "Hey, wait a minute. That doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other's company here. They're upstairs and we're down here, remember?" She grinned at him and added with a twinkle in her eyes, "Maybe get in a little practice for our anniversary celebration."_

 _"Well, you know me, I've always been a firm believer in practice making perfect." He said as he pulled her close and kissed her softly. "I love you," he said breathlessly in between kisses._

 _"I love you, too." She moved closer to him and pulled him back to her brushing her lips with his as they sank down on the sofa together. They just sat there together and cuddled, sharing slow, languorous kisses and waiting for their older daughter to come home from her date. After a while, Amanda extracted herself from her husband's arms and began pacing after glancing at her watch again. She was starting to get concerned. It wasn't like Leah to be late, especially on a school night. She was always very conscientious about adhering to her curfew when she knew she had school in the morning. "Lee, I'm getting worried. Leah should have been home by now."_

 _He looked at his watch. "It's only quarter after. She probably just lost track of the time."_

 _Amanda shook her head. "No, I don't believe it. Leah is_ _ **never**_ _late. Something is wrong."_

 _"Relax, Amanda. I'm sure that everything's fine. She's just a kid, they get absent-minded sometimes."_

 _"I just have a feeling that something is not right with her."_

 _"Here you go again. You and your mother's intuition-" he began but was soon cut off by his wife._

 _"Lee, I've been a mother for almost twenty-four years. I know what I'm talking about."_

 _They argued about it for another 30 minutes, with Lee trying to convince Amanda that she was overreacting and Amanda getting more worried by the second until Leah finally strolled in at 9:45 oblivious to the whole thing._

 _Amanda was relieved to see her, yet angry at the same time, "Where have you been, Young Lady?" She demanded._

 _It was then that Leah looked at the clock. "I... I...I didn't realize it was so late, "she stammered. She'd never seen her stepmother so angry._

 _"You have a brand new watch that we just bought you for your birthday."_

 _"I forgot it. I didn't mean to be late. I just lost track of the time. I'm sorry, Mom. It won't ever happen again."_

 _"You're darn right it won't happen again, because from now on, you're staying home on school nights."_

 _"But that's not fair!" she exclaimed, turning to her father for help._

 _Lee jumped to his wife's defense. "It wasn't fair of you to make us worry about you, either. We didn't give you a curfew to be mean, but to make sure that you are home safely within a decent amount of time for you to get enough sleep to go to school in the morning. When you don't come home on time that makes both of us worry about you. I think you owe your mother an apology."_

 _"But she's not my_ _ **real**_ _mother! My real mother would never treat me like this!"She shouted at Amanda as she flew up the stairs and slammed the door. Amanda stood, staring the direction she'd gone. She felt as if she'd been slapped. Leah had chosen the most hurtful thing she could say to her. Lee went to her side, knowing instinctively that she'd need his comfort. Amanda leaned into him, letting silent tears fall._

 _"It's okay," Lee said in a soothing voice. "She didn't mean it. She's just upset. She'll get over it." Amanda turned her face up to him and kissed him. She was grateful that she had a husband who knew just what to say. Their moment together was interrupted by the slamming of the front door. Lee let out a sigh of frustration._

 _"Jamie's home." He said as they broke apart._

 _Amanda hurriedly wiped her tearstained face. "How was your date, Sweetheart?" Amanda called, trying to sound more cheerful than she actually felt._

 _"I don't want to talk about it!" he yelled back as he thundered up the stairs. Lee and Amanda heard the door to his room slam._

 _"That didn't sound good." Lee said._

 _Amanda sighed. First Leah, now Jamie. "I know. He must have had a fight with Beth."_

 _"Should I go talk to him? I've had more than my share of experience with woman trouble."_

 _"You'd better be talking about your past, Buster," she teased._

 _"Of course. What else would I be talking about?" He replied innocently with a mirthful grin. "What about Jamie?"_

 _"Well, maybe...maybe you could have that man-to-man talk with him, see if you can get him to open up."_

 _"You got it," Lee nodded, gave her one more quick kiss and headed up the stairs to Jamie's room. He stopped at the open door to his younger stepson's room just in time to see him lob his keys violently at his nightstand where they hit just the corner of it before hitting the floor. "Rough night?" He questioned._

 _Jamie whirled around and snarled, "Leave me alone!"_

 _"You know, if you really wanted to be left alone, you should've closed your door," Lee pointed out._

 _"Well, I'll fix that right now," Jamie restored as he crossed the room._

 _"Oh, no you don't," Lee said with a hand on the door to stop him. "You're not getting rid of me that easily, Sport."_

 _"Don't call me that," Jamie spat out. "I'm not a little kid anymore."_

 _"You've been drinking," Lee commented, a statement, not a question._

 _"I'm legal," Jamie replied defiantly. "I'm twenty-one now, remember?"_

 _"Yeah, I remember, but you still need to be responsible about it," Lee lectured, his worry for his charge growing._

 _"OH, believe me, I know_ _ **all**_ _about my responsibility. I'm an adult now and I don't need you scolding me like I'm still a kid so just stop trying to play daddy and leave me alone! Go take care of your own kids!"_

 _"You okay?"Amanda said from behind him._

 _"You heard?"_

 _"Every word," Amanda answered. "So,_ _ **are**_ _you okay?"_

 _Lee shook his head and said, "Yeah, fine," as he stalked toward the bedroom they shared._

 _"Sweetheart, come on," Amanda said with a slight pout. "We've been married almost ten years. I know when something's not right with you."_

 _"Oh, like you_ _ **know**_ _something's not right with Leah?" he replied sarcastically. "You just know everything, don't you?"_

 _"Something's_ _ **not**_ _right with Leah?" Amanda stated firmly. "Did you notice how testy she got yesterday when I asked her about her science project?"_

 _"How do you know it's not just normal teenage behavior?"_

 _"Because I've already raised two teenagers," Amanda countered._

 _"_ _ **You**_ _raised them. Huh, I was under the impression that_ _ **we**_ _raised them, at least through their teen years, anyway. Phillip was thirteen when we got married, remember?"_

 _"I'm sorry," Amanda said contritely. "You know I didn't mean it that way."_

Amanda sighed as she finished telling Francine the whole story, "I mean, we had a fight about the kids, but I thought...you know...that we made up and it was over. But now..."

"Well, if that was Thursday, judging by the way you were both grinning ear to ear when you came into the office on Friday morning, I'm guessing I know just _how_ you made up.

"Francine, really," Amanda replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Just trying to lighten you up a little," Francine answered.

"I don't know what's going on with him right now, but something is...the things he said to me..."

"What exactly did he say that's had you crying?"

"I'm not crying," Amanda denied as she glanced in the mirror to make sure that she looked presentable.

"Please, the way you were fixing yourself up right now, the streaked mascara...you may not be crying now, but you were when I walked in here. Now, come on, level with me. Let me know what Lee said to you so I at least know what I'm kicking his ass for." When Amanda finally relented and told her what Lee had said, Francine gaped at her in astonishment. "Forget ass-kicking. That's too good for him. I'm going to kill him; no worse, I'm going to lock him in a dingy basement room full of rats. That'll really get to him." She grinned as she recalled Lee having once told her about being trapped in the catacombs in Istanbul.

Amanda couldn't help but laugh in spite of the hurt she felt, "I appreciate the thought Francine, but really, I can handle this."

"I just can't believe he had the nerve to say something like that to you," Francine responded with a shake of her head. "For a woman who's given birth to five children, I think you look amazing and I have to admit, I'm a little jealous. I wish I could have bounced back like you did after having a baby. I still feel like I'm not in the shape I was after having just one and my "baby" is five."

"Francine, what are you talking about? You look great," Amanda argued with her friend.

"Well, Jonathan doesn't seem to mind. He actually said he likes that I've got a few more curves now, but I still don't like that I'm ten pounds heavier than I was before Steph was born."

"Maybe you should lay off the chocolate," Amanda suggested jokingly.

"Bite you tongue," Francine fired back. "Sometimes that's the only thing that keeps me same." She paused for a beat and said, "Speaking of sanity...is there anything I can do? I mean, I'm still open to the rat idea."

The two women shared a brief laugh and then Amanda answered, "No, but thank you, Francine. I'll figure this out. There's something just not right about this and I'm going to find out what it is."

While Amanda was having her talk with Francine, there was a moment of awkward silence in Billy's office after Amanda's abrupt departure. Billy looked from Amie to Lee and then back again wondering just what was going on with the two of them after the comments Lee had made to his wife. "Amie, would you excuse us for a moment?"

"But I thought you had a new assignment for me," She argued with a pout.

"I do," Billy concurred, "But since once of the parties involved is no longer here," he fixed Lee with an icy glare, "That'll have to wait. Now..." He gestured with his head to the door.

"Yes, Sir," Amie replied and made a hasty escape at seeing the stern look on her boss' face.

The moment she was gone, Billy rose to his full height and demanded, "Now, just what the hell was that all about?"


	4. Chapter 4

Billy stood waiting for a response from his charge wondering just how things had gotten so screwed up as he reflected on how his day had started out badly and had just proceeded to get worse.

 _He had walked into his office, sat down with his usual coffee and doughnut, and was just about to start reading his newspaper when his phone rang. He threw the paper down and answered it._

 _"Melrose, here," he answered a bit more gruffly than he'd intended._

 _"Morning, Billy." Dr Smyth said way too cheerfully for Billy's liking. That always meant something was up._

 _"What's up?"_

 _"I think you need to take a look at your list of new recruits for the next round at Station One."_

 _"Why? Is there something irregular there?" he asked. He wasn't in the mood to play one of Dr. Smyth's mind games today._

 _"Just forget the doughnut and look at that list, 'kay?"_

 _Billy searched through the files on his desk until he found the right one."Okay, I've got the list in front of me. Now, what am I looking for?"_

 _"Look in the Ks." Billy ran his finger down the page until he saw what he was looking for._

 _"You've got to be kidding!"_

 _"Billy, you should know by now that I never kid about things like this," Dr. Smyth said._

 _Billy glared at the name on the list as if could make it go away simply by staring it down. He slammed the file folder down on his desk. "Damn!" he said, not quite sure what to do._

 _"You've got the full file there too on our new recruit. Now, here's how I want you to handle this one..."_

Billy shook off the memory as he still stared at Lee, "Well?"

"Well, what," Lee snapped.

"You know damn well what," Billy's voice boomed back at him. "What's going on with you and Amanda and for that matter, with you and Amie?"

"There's nothing going on between me and Amanda," Lee answered, and then added with a pointed look, "And I mean, _nothing_. After ten years, you'd think I wouldn't have to beg anymore. I'm just...I'm just...I'm tired. I need a break." In truth, what he was tired of and needed a break from was the job and all the headaches that went along with it. He was tired of the agency always interfering in some way with that family life that he and Amanda had worked so hard to build.

"Well, I've got some news for you," Billy responded hotly. "You don't get a break from marriage. It's a lifetime commitment."

"Haven't you ever just wanted a break from Jeannie? I mean, don't you get tired of the day in, day out, same old boring routine?"

"Of course," Billy answered honestly, "But that doesn't mean that I start looking somewhere else." He looked at his friend, an expression of deep concern on his face. "When you're married for as long as Jeannie and I have been, you learn how to work around it, how to look for that little something that drew you together in the first place, what led to that spark. When I feel like I need that little break, I sometimes find that's when I'm the most productive here on the job while I try to work through it."

"Yeah, well, the difference is that you don't take your wife to work with you. I can't get away from her. We're together non-stop. We come to work together, we go home together, we eat dinner together, we help the kids with their homework together, we sleep together, but all we do anymore is sleep..." Lee rambled on, feeling as if he were channeling Amanda as he spoke, laying it on thick for Billy's benefit, lying his ass off as he loved every minute that he spent with his wife and with his family.

Billy frowned, wondering if he'd made a mistake in allowing them to retain their partnership after their marriage and bending agency regulations to do so, wondering too if he'd also made a mistake in allowing Amie to transfer in from the Chicago field office to take over the training department after Beaman's death. "And Amie? Are you and Amie..." He paused, finding it difficult to even think it, much less say it aloud. He recalled vividly when she'd first transferred having an outraged Lee storming into his office demanding that she be sent back to Chicago.

 **Monday, December 28, 1987**

 _Billy was startled to see Lee barging into his office with a look of pure fury etched on his face. "Billy, you gotta' get rid of that...that...I don't even know what to call her, but she's gotta' go!" Lee demanded._

 _"Who? And go where?" Billy questioned._

 _"Amie!" Lee shouted in a tone that suggested that it should be obvious. "And I don't care where she goes. Send her to the New York office, send her back to Chicago, or send her to Siberia. She can go to hell for all I care, just as long as she's not here!"_

 _Billy rose from his seat, gesturing with both hands in a downward motion. "Scarecrow, just calm down and tell me what's going on. What's your problem with Amie? Is she not doing things the way she should? She came highly recommended from Stu over in the Chicago office. In fact, he wrote her a glowing letter of recommendation."_

 _"I don't give a damn. My "recommendation" is to give her a quick boot right back to where she came from. I can't work with her."_

 _"Now, Lee, come on. I know that you've gotten used to working with Amanda, but this is only temporary and then she'll be solely in the training department," Billy said soothingly. He'd been afraid of this when he assigned Amie to help in the Q Bureau, that Lee would revert back to his adamant refusal to work with another partner without Amanda by his side._

 _"Just kick her over there now. I can make do with just Jonathan and if I need help from a trained agent, I can call on Francine. She's always got my back."_

 _"Hmm," Billy responded. So, it wasn't about having another agent besides Amanda around, so what was it? He decided he'd better ask. "So, what exactly is the problem with Amie?"_

 _"The problem? The problem, you ask! I'll tell you what the problem is. The bitch doesn't know how to keep her hands to herself, doesn't know how to take no for an answer!" He held up his left hand, indicating his wedding band. "She doesn't seem to get that this..." He held his ring finger out for Billy to see, "That this_ _ **means**_ _something to me!"_

 _"She made a pass at you?"_

 _"A pass?" Lee repeated in an incredulous tone. "Oh, no, making a pass would be putting it mildly. This was no lousy pass. The woman practically threw herself at me and worse than that, she insulted Amanda!"_

 _"Just how did she insult Amanda?' Billy asked gently, hoping that Lee was just blowing the whole thing out of proportion as he had a tendency to do._

 _"She said that I oughtta' be glad to have her around since Amanda..." using air quotes, Lee continued, "...'In her condition' couldn't possible take care of my needs." He began pacing furiously and ran a hand through his hair, halting abruptly, then began again, "Then she had the nerve to ask why I would want her to since I probably couldn't get my arms around her anyway! Amanda's carrying my children for God's sake! Doesn't she get how special that is, how miraculous? No, NO, instead she thinks that just gives me license to be unfaithful to my wife!"_

 _"Lee, are you sure you're not just exaggerating?"_

 _"Oh, no, Billy, I wish I were. That's why she's gotta' go. I can't work like that, not with her all over me every two seconds. She even locked the door and tried to pin me against my own desk." Billy couldn't help laughing at the mental imagery Lee's description had created in his mind causing Lee to snap, "What! You think this is funny? I will have you know that I am a happily married man!"_

 _"Oh, I know you are," Billy replied still chuckling. "I was just thinking that someone finally gave you a taste of your own medicine."_

 _"Oh, come on, Billy! I know I have a past, but I was never like that! If a woman said no, I just moved on. You know that! I was never one of those guys who was into women who played hard to get."_

 _"Until Amanda," Billy pointed out._

 _"What? You're crazy! Amanda never played hard to get. Amanda's too honest for that! She'd never be a game player like other women!'_

 _Billy laughed at that even harder. "And you call Amanda naive," He retorted between laughs. "She played you like a finely tuned fiddle and just like rats following the Pied Piper, you played right along."_

 _"What's so funny," Francine asked as she entered the room._

 _"I'm glad you find this so amusing," Lee groused as he leaned across his boss' desk and glared menacingly at him. "Now, what are you going to do about Amie, because I swear to God, Billy, if you don't do something about it, I will! I don't care if she is a woman, I'll knock her damn lights out next time she tries something!" Lee relaxed his grip on Billy's desk and began pacing again, this time running both hands through his hair. "I don't need this in my life when I've got enough to deal with! Two teenage boys at home driving me crazy, an overactive five-year-old and a wife who's having trouble sleeping at night, so she's napping during the day and keeping me up at night too!" He halted in his pacing and stared Billy down again. "We had a great weekend celebrating our first Christmas as a real family and then I come back to work to face this! It's just...it's just too much!"_

 _"I'll talk to her, okay?" Billy said in a conciliatory tone._

 _"Oh, no, no talking, the time for talking is long past, Billy. I've tried talking until I'm blue in the face! She just won't back off!"_

 _"What's the matter, Lee? Is the generosity and stamina of the American housewife getting to be too much for you to handle?" Francine quipped._

 _"Can it, Francine!" Lee shouted. "I'm not talking about Amanda! I can_ _ **handle**_ _Amanda just fine! I'm talking about Amie!"_

 _"Well, you did say she was keeping you up at night," Francine countered with a salacious grin._

 _"All right, knock it off, both of you," Billy ordered. "Lee, I'll talk to her, okay? See what she says and take it from there. Will that make you happy?"_

 _"Yeah...for now," Lee answered. "But if she so much as even looks at me wrong, I swear-"_

 _"I got it, Scarecrow," Billy said with a nod._

Billy snapped himself out of his reverie, shook his head, took a deep breath and thought, _just do it._ "Are you and Amie involved," he finally spit out.

"What? No!" Lee said ferociously.

"Then why'd you make that comment about her when she was in here?"

"Look, it was just an example, okay?" Lee answered evasively, wishing he could just tell Billy the truth; that he was setting Amie up. He wished he could have run after Amanda when she'd bolted the way that he'd wanted to, wished that he could tell her how much he loved her, that he hadn't meant a word of it, that he was as attracted to her as he always had been, that there never was and never would be anyone else for him.

"Come on, Lee, it was more than that and we both know it. I saw the way you were looking at Amie."

"Well, let's just say that I'm keeping my options open," Lee replied with a nonchalant shrug.

"Don't you get it?" Billy scolded. "You don't have options when you're married. If you're really to the point with Amanda that you just can't take it anymore, that you can't find anything that you loved about Amanda is still there, then at least have the decency to cut her loose first. Have the guts to tell her to her face that you don't love her anymore and end it. Don't do this to her, not like this."

"Just stay out of it, Billy! I know what I'm doing!' _Please, stay out of it_ , he thought. _If you keep on the way you are, I won't be able to go through with it and make it convincing._ Though he had to admit that Billy's words had given him food for thought on a way to convince Amanda that it was real, but he hated to take it that far.

"God, I hope so," Billy muttered softly.

"Just trust me," Lee said with a cocky smile.

Billy shook his head again hoping against hope that with their ten-year anniversary coming up, Lee would stop and think about everything he was about to lose if he continued on the self-destructive path that he thought he'd long ago abandoned. He thought of the reckless car chase over the weekend and his behavior today and couldn't help fearing the worst.

Billy was pulled from his thoughts by Francine barreling in the door marching straight to Lee and clocking him with a solid right hook to the jaw. "Just what in God's name do you think you're doing," she demanded.


	5. Chapter 5

Lee gaped at Francine as he rubbed his face where she'd belted him and asked incredulously, "What the hell was that for?"

"What the hell are _you_ doing to Amanda," she countered, her fist still clenched, poised on the balls of her feet fully prepared to hit him again if she didn't like his answer.

At seeing Francine looking very much like a cat ready to pounce on its prey, Billy stepped between the pair, saying in a scolding fatherly tone, "Hold on, Francine. Let's just all take a deep breath and work through this."

"Work through this?" Francine questioned hotly. "The only thing that needs to be worked through is _his_ ," she glared at Lee, "asinine behavior toward his wife." She attempted to push past Billy, but he held both of her arms to her side. "Let me go, Billy! I'm gonna' kill him! After all that they've been through, after all she's put up with from him, after all the times I defended them against those...Those people out there!" She freed one of her arms from Billy's grasp and gestured wildly toward the bullpen. She then fixed Lee with her best withering look and said bitterly, "Do you know what they're saying about you out there right now?"

"I don't give a shit what they're saying out there," Lee fired back. "I never have! You know that!"

"Well, you oughtta' give a shit about this. They're saying that good ol' Scarecrow's gone back to his old ways. They're saying that Amanda was an idiot to trust you, to believe that you'd actually take marriage seriously. Worse yet, they're saying that _**I'm**_ an idiot for believing it, for defending you against all their malicious gossip when you first dropped the bomb that you were married all those years ago! ME!"

"Oh, of course, because it's all about you!" Lee shouted back.

"Knock it off, both of you!" Billy bellowed as he looked from one to the other, giving them both a stern look. "This isn't getting any of us anywhere." He took a deep breath and then added in a cooler tone. "Look, this is still a workplace and we've all got work to do. I should have gotten the morning meeting started twenty minutes ago. Instead, I'm doing nothing but playing referee." He focused his attention solely on Lee for a moment. "Whatever is going on between you and Amanda, work it out on your own time." He then turned to Francine, "And I suggest that you stay out of it. Now, where _is_ Amanda?"

Francine sighed. "She was heading to conference room to wait for the meeting to start."

"Then we'd better get in there too," Billy said as he yanked open the door and gestured for Lee and Francine to exit.

Lee swallowed hard as he tried to steel himself for what he knew was coming. How was he going to sit in that room with Amanda and pretend he knew nothing when Billy dropped that bomb on her that he knew was going to set off another wave of worry for one of their children? How was he going to pretend that he wasn't just as worried and resist the urge that he knew he'd feel to take her into his arms and try to console her once she learned what Phillip had been up to? His mind drifted back to Friday morning after the rough night they'd had the evening before.

 _Amanda was up bright and early when Lee came downstairs to find her in the kitchen starting breakfast for the family while Leah sulked in silence at the kitchen table. He slipped up behind his wife and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back against him._

 _"You didn't sleep much last night," he said softly as he nuzzled her neck._

 _"_ _Well, you're partially to blame for that," she fired back with a saucy grin as she leaned back to plant a quick kiss to his lips._

 _Lee turned her to face him and argued, "You know that's not what I meant. You didn't sleep even after that," He lowered his voice mindful of the teenager in the room, "and that usually puts you right to sleep when it's as wild as it was last night." He grinned at her._

 _She smiled slightly at him and answered, "I know and it was great." She tried to keep her tone light as she whispered, "Make-up sex always is."_

 _"But..."Lee probed._

 _"But I...I just had too much on my mind."_

 _"I know, I know. You're worried about Leah and Jamie."_

 _"Yeah. It's not like either one of them to act the way they are." She let out a deep sigh as she turned back to the breakfast preparations._

 _"I'm sure everything will be okay," he said trying to cheer her up._

 _Amanda bit on her lip. "You know, while I was lying in bed last night I kept thinking about the first time Leah called me Mommy."_

 _Lee smiled. "I remember that. She was sitting on the couch with you the first time one of the twins kicked."_

 _Amanda smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I put her hand on my stomach so she could feel it too. She told me she was glad I was there to take care of her since her mommy had gone off to heaven, and then she asked if she could call me mommy." Amanda's eyes teared up again. She had tried to be the best mother she could to Leah over the years, but she'd always known that the time would come when something like this would happen. It still didn't lessen the hurt of it, however. She turned in her husband's arms and just let him hold her until her sobbing subsided. He kissed her lightly._

 _They were interrupted by the twins thundering down the stairs, followed by Emily trailing behind them, shouting, "Wait for me, wait for me!"_

 _Amanda turned back to her cooking, knowing that they'd need to have a good breakfast. No matter what, she was still determined to be a good mother even if one-third of her children were refusing to give her the opportunity._

 _Breakfast was strained. Leah sulked all through the meal. Amanda was silent, trying not to let her know much she'd hurt her. Lee kept glancing over at Amanda to make sure she was okay. Matt was oblivious to the whole thing, but Jennie could tell that something was going on, although she didn't know what, while Emily was chattering about her upcoming school activities unnerved by the silence of her family. They were all just finishing breakfast when Jamie came down the stairs, looking as if he hadn't slept._

 _"Good morning, Sweetheart." Amanda said. "Do you want some breakfast?"_

 _"No thanks, Mom. I'm not hungry." He went straight for the coffee pot and poured himself a steaming mug. Taking a sip of the dark brew, he added, "I don't think my stomach could take solid food right now anyway."_

 _"I wonder why," Lee muttered. When Amanda glared at him, he said, "Listen, kids," Lee said to the other four children. "Why don't you guys go on upstairs and get your books. Your busses are going to be here any minute."_

 _"Okay, Daddy." Matt and Jennie said as they raced up the stairs while Emily just looked sadly at Jamie. He smiled at her as he thought about how very much like Jamie she was. She noticed everything around her. "Go on, Em." When their youngest child had obeyed, he glanced at their eldest daughter and said, "Leah?"_

 _"No!" she said stubbornly. "I'm not done eating yet." Lee shook his head not knowing what to do. He knew they needed to have an adult conversation with Jamie, but he wanted to do so without an underage audience._

 _Amanda looked at her. "Leah, you haven't eaten anything. You've just been pushing food around on your plate for the last half hour."_

 _"I'm not stupid, you know. You just want me to leave the room so you can talk to your_ _ **real**_ _kid."_

 _"No, Leah. You don't have to leave," Amanda said soothingly. "This is your home too. I'm just concerned about you. Whatever it is that's bothering you, I think we should talk about it."_

 _"There's nothing bothering me. And even if there was, I wouldn't want to talk to_ _ **you**_ _about it."_

 _Lee could tell that Leah's last comment had stung Amanda. He stood watching helplessly as she took a deep breath, trying not to let the hurt show. "That's fine, Leah. You don't have to talk to me about it."_

 _"Good. 'cause there's nothing to talk about. I'm going to go finish getting ready for school." She said as she hurried up the stairs to escape._

 _"What was that all about?" Jamie asked as he watched his stepsister run away._

 _"Leah's having some kind of problem, but she won't tell me what it is. How about you? Do you want to tell me what's bothering_ _ **you**_ _?"_

 _"No." he said sharply._

 _Amanda looked hurt."I just thought..."_

 _"I know what you thought, Mom and what Lee thought. You thought that if you got me alone, you could find out what my problem is, right?"_

 _"Well, Jamie you've always confided in me..."_

 _"Not this time, Mom. There's nothing you can do to help. It's something I have to work out on my own."_

 _"We could at least be there to listen," Lee chimed in. "This has something to do with Beth, doesn't it?" It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he was having relationship trouble. He'd left the house on cloud nine, excited to see his steady girlfriend of the last four years, only to return home hours later, looking utterly deflated and somewhat panicked, with the strong smell of liquor on his breath._

 _"Yes," he admitted, nodding._

 _"If you and Beth are having problems, maybe Lee could give you some advice," Amanda suggested and then grinned at her husband as she tried to make a joke to lighten the mood. "He's been through things like that many times."_

 _"Lee can't help me with this anymore than you can." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, Mom, I know you're just trying to help and I appreciate it, but really, there's nothing you can do. Trying to baby me the way you did when I was a little kid isn't going to solve this problem. It's just something personal that Beth and I have to deal with in our own way."_

 _"Okay, but, I want you to know that if you decide you want to talk, I'll be there." She squeezed his hand gently._

 _"I know, Mom. I love you." He said as he hugged her._

 _"I love you, too," she replied and smiled, but Lee couldn't help noticing that as she watched Jamie trudge back upstairs with his coffee cup in hand that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.  
_  
Lee walked into the conference room to find Billy and Francine already there, along with Amie. He cringed as he realized that the only open seat in the room was right next to the red-haired vixen. Trying not to let his emotions show, he slid into the chair, staunchly avoiding making eye contact with Amanda, he grinned broadly at Amie, eliciting whispers from some of the occupants of the room.

"Good. Now, that everyone's here." Billy said with a glower to the room in general, halting the chatter immediately.

"What's going on?" Lee asked and then playing into the cover story that Dr. Smyth had given him, added, "We're pretty busy working on that Cuban counterintelligence case."

"Well, forget that. Dr. Smyth has ordered you off that case after your shenanigans over the weekend. I've already assigned that to someone else. I have something else for you to work on."

"Why do I not like the sound of this?" Lee grumbled as he tried to play his part.

"As you know, this is the time of year when we start our agent training program at station one."

"Oh no." Lee groaned. "Not me again."

"Lee, you know, it says in the..." Francine began with a scathing look at him and the way he was looking at Amie.

"Don't start quoting me the hand book again, Francine." Amanda laughed as she recalled all the times she'd heard Lee say that to her. In spite of how he'd hurt her, they still had a lot of good memories together. She just hoped she could get him to remember them.

Lee looked at Billy. "Why me?"

"Well, actually, I was thinking I needed Amanda on this one more and since you are her partner..."

"Amanda?" "Me?" Lee and Amanda said in unison.

"There's a reason I chose you, Amanda. I want you to be the ringer. There's a particular person I want you to keep an eye on." Billy handed her a single sheet of paper from the file in front of him. "This is out of the files of one of our new recruits. I want you to read it and tell me what you think."

"Okay," Amanda said, unsure of why he was asking her to do this, but following orders as usual. "This looks good." she said as she read. "Bachelor's degree in criminology from UVA, working on a law degree, speaks Russian and German. From my experience in the training department, this person looks like a good candidate to me."

"I'm glad you feel that way, Amanda. I think so too."

"So, what's the problem? Why am I supposed to be keeping an eye on this person? Is there a problem with his security or something?" An ominous feeling swept over her as she sensed there was something that Billy wasn't telling her.

"No, it's because of who he is. Here's the file that little bit came from," he said as he handed her a file folder. "Look at the name on that file." Amanda's mouth dropped open as she did what Billy asked of her.

"Phillip Thomas King," Amanda read. "My Phillip? How in the name of God is that possible? He's supposed to be in Charlottesville at UVA right now finishing his last semester of law school."


	6. Chapter 6

After Amanda's outburst, she sat in numb silence staring at the file in front of her. Lee finally looked her direction and at seeing her blank stare, he could guess what she was thinking. She only got that quiet when she was deeply worried. He thought of how much Jennie was like her, when she was scared or nervous, she would chatter endlessly, but when she was worried, she was eerily silent. He knew that look on Amanda's face all too well; while she wasn't saying anything, a thousand thoughts were running through her head. He closed his eyes as he fought the urge to bolt out of his seat and wrap her in a comforting embrace as his mind drifted back to another time that he'd seen her this quiet.

 **Friday, August 23, 1991**

 _Pouring sweat, Lee heaved a deep sigh as he set down the heavy box in his arms. "There, that's the last of it," He panted as he tried to catch his breath._

 _"Thanks, Lee," Phillip answered with a smile toward his stepfather, equally out of breath as he was setting down the box in his own arms. He looked around his new dorm room._

 _"Anytime, Chief." Lee smiled back. Lee followed Phillip's gaze to where Amanda was sitting at the desk against one wall idly flipping through a folder of paperwork._

 _Amanda caught his gaze, fidgeted nervously and said with an awkward chuckle, "I tell you the freshman housing hasn't improved much since I was here."_

 _"Mom," Phillip replied soothingly knowing what she really meant by her comment. "I won't be gone forever. I'll be home for Christmas break, you know."_

 _"I know, I know," Amanda nodded, but her sadness was evident in her voice. She reached for her son and hugged him tightly. "The house just won't be the same without you." She squeezed him tighter, and then pulled back to look at her young man and in a more upbeat tone added, "I want you to know that I am so proud of you."_

 _"Thanks, Mom."_

 _Amanda glanced around the room at the piles of boxes that they'd carried in and when her eyes fell back on the folder sitting on Phillip's desk, she picked it up and began reading, "Now, don't forget, you've got your meeting with your academic advisor this afternoon, then you've got your Freshman orientation tomorrow at eleven, then you've got to get your student ID..." She flipped through the folder and continued, "...In here you've got your class schedule, a campus map so you don't get lost, 'cause you know it's a big place..."_

 _Lee glanced at his wife, knowing that while she was trying to be encouraging to Phillip, she was screaming on the inside. He glanced at her neat appearance compared to his sloppy one and tried to lighten the mood by teasing her, "Why do I look so messy and you look so good?" Amanda shrugged and just smiled at her husband. Lee pointed around the room and quipped, "Have you done anything?"_

 _"Of course I have," Amanda fired back with a half-hearted chuckle and then turned her attention back to her son. "Your bed is made. Your dressier clothes I hung up for you so they wouldn't get wrinkled because I know how hard it is to find time to iron when you're a busy college student." She glanced to the corner of Phillip's half of the room to a miniature fridge that Lee had set up there when they first began unloading Phillip's things. "And there's food in the fridge for you, some sandwiches, sodas and some fresh fruit. I even made you some of your favorite brownies, but make sure you don't just eat the brownies, okay? Try to eat something healthy once in a while. I know how the dining hall can be and I just wanted to...you know...give you...I don't know...a little taste of home...Your freshman year, when you first start out, you can get a little homesick and-"_

 _"Do you want us to stick around to help you unpack?" Lee asked Phillip, cutting off Amanda's nervous ramble before it could build up any more steam._

 _"No, thanks," Phillip answered. "I think I wanna' do that part on my own." He grinned at his mother, "If I know Mom, she'd be telling me where to put everything and I kinda' wanna' find my own style."_

 _"Hey!" Amanda cried. "You know, there's a proper way to organize things so that you can always find them." She glanced at Lee. "Isn't there, Sweetheart." Lee just shrugged in response as he recalled all the times that they'd argued over the way he kept his half of their shared office._

 _"I know, I know," Phillip said and he lightly hugged his mother. "But, Mom, just let me do it, okay?"_

 _Amanda nodded as she blinked back the tears that had begun to form. "Just...uh...try to be a little neater than you were at home. You don't want to give your roommate the wrong impression right out of the gate and have him thinking you're a slob. I remember my first roommate when I was in college and we didn't get along at all. She was the kind that once she got out on her own, she just let everything go. I'll never forget one day that we had this horrible fight and she called me an obsessive neat freak and-"_

 _"You know, Amanda," Lee broke in to her ramble again, "If we're gonna' get home before the other kids kill each other, we should probably get going. We don't want your mom having a nervous breakdown with trying to corral them since Jamie's with his friends this weekend doing their end-of-summer beach party thing and not at home to help her." He paused for a moment and added, "If you want my opinion though, I think he planned it this way just so he wouldn't have to help his brother move._

 _Amanda smiled slightly, but then nodded sadly and replied, "Yeah." She hugged Phillip once more and whispered, "I love you, Phillip." She pulled back to look at him once more, affectionately stroked his hair and mused, "Why'd you have to go and grow up so fast on me?"_

 _"I love you, Mom," Phillip said in reply to her rhetorical question._

 _"I'm just gonna'..." she gestured to the door. Phillip nodded and she walked toward the door, but at the last minute turned around and said, "Oh, and one more thing. I...um...I left you some rolls of quarters in your top desk drawer to do your laundry with...but...um...you don't have to use them...You can...you know...always bring your laundry home to do...if you want to, I mean..." Unable to control her emotions any longer, she made a hasty escape through the door before the tears that were threatening could fall._

 _When the two men were left alone, Lee pulled a manila envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Phillip. "What's this?" the younger man asked with a curious eyebrow as he peered inside._

 _"A little emergency money," Lee said with a nonchalant shrug as he tried to hide his own emotions. "Just in case...and a calling card. Make sure you use it to call your mother once in a while, just to let her know you're okay." He paused for a beat and then added, "you know that if you don't, she'll worry and if she worries too much, she'll drive the two and half hours to get here to hunt you down.'_

 _Phillip laughed at that and concurred, "Yeah, you're not wrong about that."_

 _"And she's a very skilled intelligence operative. She could do it too." Phillip and Lee shared a brief laugh._

 _"And these?" Phillip questioned with a slightly embarrassed smile as he pulled a box of condoms out of the envelope._

 _"You know that your mom and I have done our best over the years to keep you guys safe from what we do for a living. I...Um...I just want you to be safe in everything you do."_

 _Phillip dropped the box back in the envelope and shifted a little awkwardly. "What makes you think I'll need them?"_

 _Lee grinned at him, "Last fall, homecoming dance, Christie Milner, any of that ring a bell?"_

 _Phillip's eyes widened in surprise. "You knew about that?"_

 _"Your mom's not the only skilled intelligence operative. I taught her the business, remember?"_

 _"Does...Uh...does Mom know?"_

 _"Hard to say," Lee answered honestly. "I think she might, but if she does, she's not admitting it. I think she'd rather just stay in denial because that would mean that she has to accept that you're grown up now."_

 _Phillip nodded in understanding. "I appreciate the thought Lee, but that's the last thing on my mind right now. Christie and I broke up after graduation because she's going off to UCLA and it would just be too..."_

 _"Yeah, I know," Lee acknowledged. "But you never know what can happen. You might meet one of those wild sorority girls like your mom one of these days and...Well, things happen."_

 _"Ugh, gross," Phillip blanched, a bit of the boy Lee remembered peering out behind the young man's face in front of him._

 _"What?"_

 _"You and Mom and..." Phillip's voice trailed off, unable to complete his thought._

 _"Just make sure you watch out for those Kappa girls," Lee replied with a laugh. He became a bit more serious and said to his stepson, "Chief, I want you to know that I'm proud of you too, just like your mom is." He then hugged him tightly for a moment, pulled back and then continued with, "You just make sure you keep doing what you did to get you here. Don't do what I did and get yourself thrown out your first semester."_

 _"I won't," Phillip promised._

 _"I...uh...I should go catch up with your mom," Lee pointed to the door and made his way toward it._

 _Phillip nodded. "Lee?" Lee turned back to look at his all-too grown-up stepson and when he did, Phillip said sincerely, "Thanks...for everything."_

 _"My pleasure, Son," Lee smiled, but then hastily exited before the tears that had welled up in his own eyes could fall._

 _When he caught up to his wife, he found her leaning against the family's Dodge Grand Caravan silently staring at the dormitory she'd just vacated. There were no tears, just an eerie silence as her eyes remained fixed on Phillip's window. He took both of her hands in his and said softly, "Amanda?" When she finally tore her gaze from the building and looked at him, he added encouragingly, "He's got a good head on his shoulders. He's gonna' be fine." When she nodded numbly, he released her hands and leaned against the van beside her, draping an arm across her shoulders to comfort her. He glanced up to the window himself and then pointed with his free hand. "Look."_

 _Amanda glanced up and couldn't help smiling at seeing their son poking his head out the window and waving at them with a broad grin on his face and then giving them two thumbs up. They both waved back and then Lee turned his attention back to her, saying, "See? He's fine. He's happy." Amanda nodded. "Come on. Let's go home. We may have moved Phillip out, but we've still got a full house waiting for us."_

 _On the drive back to Arlington, Amanda was still silent which had Lee completely unnerved. As he drove, he kept stealing glances her way to make sure she was okay, throwing in an occasional, "Amanda?" to which she would just reply, "I'm fine."_

 _Hours later when he finally pulled the van into their driveway, he noticed that she didn't immediately unfasten her seatbelt as she normally did, just still sat in the passenger seat in silence. "Amanda?" When he received no answer, he tried again. "Amanda..." He watched helplessly as she picked at her cuticles, sucked her lower lip in her mouth and still said nothing. "Amanda, Honey, talk to me." Still silence. He hauled himself from the driver's seat, quickly walked around to her side, opened the door, undid her seatbelt, knelt in front of her seat and took both of her hands in his again. "Amanda, look at me."_

 _When she finally turned and looked at him, Lee was startled to hear her blurt out, "I wanna' have another baby."_

 _"What?" He replied in astonishment. He took a deep breath, slid one hand from hers and caressed her face softly. "No...You don't," he said matter-of-factly. You're just reacting to Phillip leaving home."_

 _"No," she denied with a shake of her head._

 _"Amanda, come on, think about it. We talked about this over two years ago and we agreed that six children between the two of us was more than enough."_

 _"I know, but it's not that crazy, you know? I mean, we're only forty-one. We're still young enough. There are people out there older than us that are just starting families."_

 _"You're right, there are, but those couples are also going to be in their sixties by the time their kids graduate high school. Do you wanna' be_ _ **that**_ _mom?" When she only shrugged, he added, "Besides, this conversation's a moot point anyway. We took care of business after Em was born."_

 _"Yes, but that kind of surgery can be reversed these days," Amanda pointed out._

 _"Do you really wanna' put me through that? Or for that matter, do you wanna' put yourself through another difficult pregnancy? You had a hard enough time with Emily." When Amanda didn't reply, he said, "Amanda, please, put that logical mind of yours to work for me. I think you should stop and think about this very seriously, sleep on it for a couple of days once you've had time to get used to the idea of Phillip being gone and then we'll talk about it again, okay?"_

 _Amanda nodded, "I...Um...I..." she sighed as she often did when she couldn't quite form the words that she wanted to say._

 _She never got a chance as they were interrupted by childish shouts coming from the direction of their front door, followed by Dotty's cries of "Slow down before you fall!"_

 _"Mommy, Daddy!" almost nine-year-old Leah cried excitedly, trailed by her by Matt and Jennie running toward their parents while two and half-year-old Emily toddled behind them._

 _"See?" Lee stood and scooped Emily up into his arms. "We've still got babies who need us," he said pointedly._

 _"Yeah, we do," Amanda replied as she finally extracted herself from the van, smiled brightly and greeted her children. Lee let out a sigh of relief at seeing her acting normally again, hoping that their other children would provide the necessary distraction to get her mind off of how much she was going to miss their eldest child. As she enveloped their middle children in a tight group hug she said to them in a scolding tone, "Now, don't you guys grow up too soon, you hear me?"_

Lee was snapped out of his memories by Billy's booming voice saying, "Amanda, are you with us?" Lee looked around. He'd been so lost in his own thoughts solely of Amanda that he had completely tuned out the chatter in the room at the bomb that had just exploded.

Amie hissed gleefully in his ear, "So, I guess you don't have the perfect family, after all, huh?"

 _Bitch!_ He thought, but quickly tamped that thought down, knowing that if he didn't play his cover to perfection, it could cost Amanda her life.

Francine, who was sitting beside Amanda, tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention and said sharply, "Amanda, snap out of it!"

Amanda shook her head and said, "I'm fine." She then turned to Billy. "I've got this," she answered him with much more confidence than she felt. She glanced across the table to her husband.

At seeing the pleading look in his wife's eyes, Lee hastily looked away before her intuitive mind could interpret his own expression. He couldn't let her see what was in his heart or he'd never be able to complete his mission and they'd never be able to get back to normal. _Normal,_ he thought bitterly. At knowing how much worse things were likely to get, he wondered how they'd ever be able to get back to normal again. He whispered to Amie, "You know, the family life is not all it's cracked up to be."

Amanda watched in silence feeling a painful tightening in her chest while Billy stood, held up a hand to silence the buzz in the room and handed out the rest of the assignments, but Amanda was no longer listening as she watched the man she loved whispering and giggling with the woman she loathed. She wondered just what was going on with him and why he was acting the way that he was. She'd heard the gossip in the bullpen when she'd returned from the ladies room that it had finally happened as predicted and that Scarecrow had at last tired of being tied down to the simple housewife.

She let a deep sigh escape her. She knew, she just _knew_ , that there was more to it than that. There had to be a logical explanation for his behavior. What had caused him to slip out of their bed before the crack of dawn? What had happened at his early morning meeting? Who was it with? Was he on a top-secret undercover assignment as he'd been several years ago when pretending to be burnt out? Or...a horrible thought stuck her...Was it real burn-out this time? Had he been brainwashed again like the time with that stupid duck? Had he been drugged as Candice had done to him years ago to conceive Leah? As soon as she thought that, it occurred to her that Amie and Candice were cut from the same cloth. She'd often heard the office grapevine referring to her as the male equivalent of Scarecrow back in his wilder days, and she'd been after Lee since the day she'd first arrived in DC. But just how far would she go to get what she wanted? She thought too of the report that she'd turned in to the Justice Department about some questionable things she'd inadvertently found in Amie's records over the weekend. Had anyone at Justice taken her seriously? She'd never heard back from them. She was so lost in her thoughts, that she didn't register at all what Billy was saying or that the meeting was breaking up until she heard his voice grow a bit sterner as he said, "Scarecrow, Amanda, my office, now!"


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Just a little information in case anyone wonders why I placed Phillip and Jamie's high school graduations three years apart rather than two, it is based on Jamie's birthday being in late November of 1975 combined with the Virginia public school requirement that a child must be five by September 30th to start kindergarten. Since Jamie would not have turned five until November of 1980, he would not have been able to begin school until the fall of 1981, placing him in the class of 1994, while Phillip's birthday being in late March 1973, he would have started school in the fall of 1978, making him part of the class of 1991. While the show made it always seem as if the brothers were just two years apart, based on the dates of their birthday episodes in season one and the years that they were born given in "The Wrong Way Home," they are actually closer to three years apart, just four months shy of it. This would place them three years apart in school as well. Of course, as much as I love the show, we all know that show's writers very often couldn't keep their own timelines straight. Just wanted to add a little clarification on where my thought process is so that there is no confusion.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After everyone had left for the day, Jamie had finished off the morning coffee made by his mother and when it had begun to help him feel a bit more alive, he took a long hot shower to shake off the remnants of his hangover, his third since his fight with Beth Thursday night. He'd tried to make amends last night, but once again, he'd let his fear get the best of him and had said some things that he didn't mean. _You partially meant them,_ he admonished himself. _You know you're not ready for this._

Once dressed and shaved for the day, he took a long look at himself in the mirror and thought that while he now looked and felt presentable, on the inside he was still in just as bad a shape as he had been when he'd come home the night before. As he reflected back on the way his date with Beth had ended, he cringed and mentally cursed himself for the way he'd bolted on her in the most cowardly fashion possible instead of dealing with the problem head on. He knew what the solution was, but wasn't sure that he had the courage to face Beth to discuss it after the way he'd spoken to her the night before.

Unable to stand looking at himself any longer, he quickly exited the bathroom that he shared with his younger brother and trotted down the hall to his room, picked up the phone and began dialing. After punching in the third digit of his girlfriend's phone number, he slammed the receiver back down, his courage failing him. He picked it up and again slammed it down in frustration with himself. He knew he needed to call her to attempt to make things right, but how was he going to do that when he didn't know for sure how to broach the subject? Would she even listen or would she just hang up on him "Just do it," He said aloud. Finally, he dialed her number in full and braced himself as he waited for her to answer. When she finally did, he said tentatively, "It-it's me, Beth. I...Um...I know we need to talk...ab-about... things. Can w-w-we meet for lunch at our normal place?" He breathed a sigh of relief when she'd agreed. "Around noon?" When she once again agreed, he replied, "Okay, I'll see you there." He was about to hang up, but then added quickly, "I love you." When she replied in kind, but with a hint of sadness in her voice and then hung up, he slammed the receiver back down again. "Damn!"

"Idiot!" he cried as he stared at the phone for a moment. He let out a deep sigh and rooted through his nightstand drawer until he found what he was looking for. He flipped open the passbook for the savings account that his parents had started for him when he was still a small child in anticipation of his college years, glanced at the balance and grimaced slightly. He knew if he did what he was thinking of doing, it wouldn't be long until one of his parents knew what was up since the account had all three names on it and both Joe and Amanda, even Lee, occasionally made deposits to it to help him with the expenses that went with being a student. He knew there'd be hell to pay once one of them found out, and while he could care less what Joe thought, he worried about his mom's reaction, especially with the way she'd reacted when Phillip had moved out. However, he was the most concerned with how Lee would react than anyone else. He knew the look of disappointment he'd see on his loving stepfather's face when he broke the news.

"God," he muttered as he slipped the bankbook into his back pocket, reached for his keys and sprinted down the stairs, his thoughts in turmoil as he imagined all the plans that he and Beth had been making for the future evaporating before his eyes.

As he reached the front door, he hastily punched in the alarm code as had become habit in that past ten years since they'd moved to the new house once the dust had settled from finding out that his mom and Lee had married in secret. He closed and locked the front door and as he made his way to the battered silver Corvette in the driveway that Lee had taught him to drive in, its keys in his hand, his mind drifted back the day that Lee had first handed over the keys to him permanently.

 **August 27, 1994**

 _Jamie bounded down the stairs bright and early, anxious to start what would be a very busy day and was not surprised to find his mother was placing breakfast for the family on the table, however,_ _ **was**_ _surprised to find his stepdad helping her and that the two of them were speaking in hushed tones._

 _"You know Phillip's going to be upset by this," Amanda said in a warning tone to him._

 _"Look, it's the logical choice, you know. Phillip is going to school farther away and needs to haul stuff back and forth when he comes home so the Wagoneer was the right option for him."_

 _"Oh, I know the logic behind your decision," Amanda concurred, "I just don't want there to be a war between the two boys."_

 _"Well, if Phillip says anything about it, we'll just explain it to him the same way."_

 _"What are you guys talking about?' Jamie inquired looking from one to another._

 _"Nothing," Amanda answered quickly._

 _Lee clapped him on the shoulder and said more cheerfully than his usual morning self, "Hey there, college man!"_

 _Jamie again looked from his stepfather to his mother and back again, asking a bit nervously, "W-what's going on?"_

 _"We'll tell you a little later, Sweetheart," Amanda replied as she gently nudged him toward his regular place at the breakfast table between Phillip and Matt and continued with, "Right now, you need to eat a good hearty breakfast. You have got a very, very busy day ahead of you and you'll need your strength." He looked at his mother hesitantly. "Go on, now," she urged with a firm nod._

 _"Okay-ay," he said as he eyed his mother warily wondering what she was up to. As he sat down and reached for his fork to dig into the huge stack of pancakes on his plate, that was when he noticed the gift-wrapped box next to it. "What's this?"_

 _Amanda smiled affectionately at her son as she took her seat beside Phillip at the table and answered, "Just a little something that I got you to help you get started in your college career."_

 _Jamie hesitated in reaching for it, looking questioningly at his mother._

 _"It's okay, you can open it now," Lee encouraged him as he sat beside his wife._

 _Jamie nodded and opened the package, his eyes widening in delight when he saw what was inside, "You got me my own cell phone?" He asked in surprise as he pulled it out of the box and examined it._

 _"It's the top of the line too," Amanda gushed. "It's the first phone for the new orange network, the most technologically advanced mobile network. We just got these at work too."_

 _"Mom, you can't afford this," Jamie said worriedly._

 _"Well, I just thought with you staying home instead of moving on campus, we could just use the money that we would have spent on room and board for you on the phone service." She then grinned at him and added, "Besides, now you won't have an excuse not to call and check in once in a while when you're out living the college life."_

 _"Thanks, Mom, but-"_

 _"No buts, young man. Now, eat your breakfast before it gets cold," she scolded._

 _"But-"_

 _"Jamie, if it makes you feel any better, she got one for me too," Phillip chimed in. "Told me that when I go back to school, I'd better use it to call home once in a while."_

 _"I want one, too," Leah pleaded._

 _"And me," Matt added._

 _"Me too," Jennie's voice said excitedly._

 _"Me three," Emily joined her siblings._

 _When the chatter at the breakfast table over cell phones rose to a roar, Lee whistled loudly to put a halt to it. When the din abruptly stopped he stated adamantly, "Absolutely not. None of you are old enough yet to take care of your own phone."_

 _"But, Dad, I'm almost twelve," Leah pointed out._

 _"Your father said no," Amanda agreed with her husband, and then gave a look to the other children as well. "That's something we'll discuss down the road when you can all prove that you're responsible enough to take care of a cell phone, now cool it and eat your breakfast!"_

 _At seeing the stern look on her mother's face, Leah changed the subject to her excitement that she'd be starting her first year of middle school the following year._

 _"Hey, don't get too excited. You've still got one more year of elementary school to get through," Lee reminded her._

 _"I know, Dad," Leah said, "But it'll be nice to be on my own in a new school where I won't be just the twins' big sister."_

 _"Hey!" Jennie exclaimed looking insulted._

 _"Leah, really," Amanda admonished her._

 _"I don't mean it in a mean way," Leah explained, "It's just that any time anything is going on with them, I always get the blame for it because I'm the big sister and I'm supposed to set a good example."_

 _"Boy, do I know how that goes," Phillip put in with a smirk at Jamie who stuck his tongue out at him earning him an elbow nudge from Phillip in response._

 _"Speaking of setting a good example," Lee scolded Jamie and Phillip. "Do you think the two of you could maybe act like the adults that you are and set a better example for your brother and sisters?"_

 _"See? That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about and now it'll be even worse with Emily staring school this year," Leah pouted._

 _Lee looked to his wife for help who just laughed and responded, "Don't look at me. You were the one who wanted an even half-dozen."_

 _"Spoken by the woman who wanted another one a couple of years ago," Lee countered._

 _"Oh, well, that was just a moment of temporary insanity brought on by my babies starting to leave me,' Amanda explained as she ruffled Phillip's hair affectionately._

 _"Aw, Mom, cut it out," Phillip grumbled good-naturedly._

 _"I know, I know," Amanda replied with a sigh. "You're the big man on campus now. I just can't believe you'll be graduating in December already, a whole semester early and then staring law school in January."_

 _"The internship with the FBI for course credit that I did this summer helped with that," Phillip said._

 _"You just wait, Mom," Jamie crowed with a challenging look at his brother. "I'm gonna' take summer classes and get done even earlier than lame brain here. I'm already ahead of the game since I took all those AP classes for college credit last year." He then glanced at his brother. "I'm going to school for school, no chasing sorority girls."_

 _"It wouldn't do you any good since you couldn't catch a sorority girl if you tried," Phillip fired back._

 _"Why would I need to when I have a_ _ **real**_ _girlfriend?" Jamie countered._

 _"Ay, ay ay," Lee groaned with a shake of his head as the two older brothers were at it again which just set the younger children off on a competition of one-upmanship. He then looked at his wife and hissed, "Why did we think this was a good idea?"_

 _Amanda reached for his hand and squeezed it affectionately in response as they finished their breakfast, all the while being entertained by their children._

 _Once breakfast was over and dishes were done, the younger children had taken off for the backyard to play, while Phillip having packed the Wagoneer the night before set off for Charlottesville. Jamie sat idly flipping through the folder full of orientation materials from Georgetown University to familiarize himself with the layout of the campus and where he was expected to be and at what times. He finally rose from the table, plucked the keys to the minivan off the table inside the front door and was about to leave when he was stopped by his mother's voice, "Jamie?"_

 _"Before you take off, Lee wants to see you in the garage," She gestured toward the door. "And I need the keys to the van," She held out her hand._

 _"Mom," Jamie protested. "Don't tell me you're planning on going with me. I_ _ **am**_ _a grown-up now and I-"_

 _"Yeah, yeah, I know, you don't need your mommy holding your hand while you register for school. I got it. But you know something, you're still going to be living in my house and that means you still need to listen to what Lee and I have to say once in a while, now scoot! Go see Lee!"_

 _"Fine," Jamie grumbled as he handed over the keys to his mother and trudged to the garage. He flung open the door in irritation to find the garage dark. "Lee?" he questioned wondering what was going on. His stepdad's name had barely left his lips when the garage door leading to the driveway was raised. He glanced around and saw Lee grinning from ear to ear leaning nonchalantly against the 'vette, the garage door opener in one hand and dangling a set of keys in the other. "What's this?"Jamie asked._

 _"This..." Lee rose to his full height and gestured to the car, "This is_ _ **my**_ _gift to you to start you off in college."_

 _"But I thought-" he paused as he thought of the cell phone now in his back pocket. "What about the phone?"_

 _"That was from your mom, all her idea," Lee explained. "This...this is from me. I'll never forget the first time you saw it and asked me if you could have a ride some time back when your mom and I were still engaged..."_

 _"But we didn't know you were engaged," Jamie reminded him._

 _"Yeah, I remember, but now that you're older, you understand why we kept the secrets that we did."_

 _Jamie nodded. "Yeah, I get it."_

 _"Remember when we finally took her out to the track together, what a ball we had?" Lee leaned against the car again, a wave of nostalgia hitting him as he thought about it._

 _"Yeah," Jamie smiled fondly, "After I got done being such a jerk to you for trying to steal my mom away from me," he said guiltily._

 _"Don't sweat it, Sport," Lee said with a wave of his hand. "We got through it."_

 _"Yeah, we did," Jamie agreed. "I think that's part of why I wanted to stay home instead of on campus. I'm...I'm excited about college, but I'm...I don't know, kinda' scared about leaving home, you know? Just not quite ready to be away from the family yet."_

 _Lee nodded. "You know you made your mother very happy when you made that decision." Lee paused for a beat. "You've always got a home here. You know that, right?" Jamie nodded again. "Well, that's kind of what made me want to give you the 'vette. I thought that since you're staying home instead of going away to college, you'd need a good car for your commute back and forth, especially with the way DC traffic can get. Your mom and I won't always be able to drive you places or lend you the minivan since the other kids have so many activities going on once school starts."_

 _"B-but you love this car," Jamie argued._

 _"No, Jamie, you don't love a car," Lee replied repeating the words he'd long ago said to Amanda after watching his Porsche go up in flames. He approached his stepson, placed a hand on his shoulder and said, "I love_ _ **you**_ _." He handed Jamie the keys._

 _"Huh," Jamie replied not quite knowing what to say. He glanced down at the keys in his hand and then back up at his stepdad and said, "Are you su-"_

 _"Yes," Lee interrupted. "It's yours for as long as you want it. Besides, when was the last time that you saw me driving it since we got the Taurus?" He nodded toward the Ford parked beside the 'vette._

 _Jamie nodded as he recalled the day Lee had driven the sedan home while his mother had driven the 'vette. He and Phillip had been shooting hoops in the driveway while the two of them argued as they exited the cars. Lee had been arguing that they should have traded the 'vette in on the purchase of the more practical family vehicle while Amanda argued back that they should keep the 'vette around since Phillip and Jamie would be driving soon. Lee then challenged her that that was the reason they'd kept the Jeep instead of trading it in on the purchase of the van. It had ended with Lee telling his wife pointedly that he knew what she'd been up to when she'd snatched the keys to the 'vette from his hands at the car lot to keep him from giving it up, thinking that he'd miss it in the future. She'd then just smiled and kissed him and entered the house without saying another word. "Thanks," Jamie answered Lee finally, his voice choked with emotion._

Jamie's thoughts snapped back to the present as he pulled up to the curb beside the bank. He glanced at the suddenly ominous-looking building and heaved a deep sigh. "Just get it over with," he told himself as he forced himself to climb out of the car he'd been driving for years and had come to think of as his. _Not anymore,_ he thought dismally as he walked into the bank and stood in line for the next available teller. Someday soon, he'd have to take a page out of Lee's book and change out the 'vette for a vehicle more suited for a family. He was hoping he could just talk Phillip into trading cars with him. He didn't think for a minute that he'd have a problem with it since, as his parents had predicted, Phillip had been green with envy that Jamie got the 'vette while he was driving the wagon. If not, he might have to make another trip like this one to the bank.

He stepped to the counter when it was his turn and said to the teller, "I'd like to make a withdrawal, please." He nervously wondered which of his parents would be the first to learn of the purchase that he was about to make and how they'd react to it as he watched the teller count out the bills in front of him.

He accepted the cash and the receipt from the teller who said pleasantly, "Thank you, Mr. King, have a nice day."

 _Mr. King,_ he thought with a shake of his head. Even though he was an adult, it wasn't often that he heard himself referred to in that manner because many people still saw him as just a college kid. He supposed that'd be something that he'd have to get used to very soon because while he was an adult, as long as he was still living at home, he hadn't yet taken on any real adult responsibility, but that was all about to change. His mind drifted back to his earlier thinking that he was primarily worried about Lee's reaction. As he slid back behind the wheel of the 'vette his stepdad had given him, he shuddered slightly as he thought of the man who'd done so much for him and also of that conversation about example-setting and just hoped that he'd be able to live up to the example of fatherhood Lee had set for him. He left the bank with not only his wallet, but also his mind heavier than before he'd entered the building.


	8. Chapter 8

Amanda sat in Billy's office still shocked to the core in mute disbelief as she clutched the hateful file in her hand. She couldn't believe what she was reading about her own son. "This is crazy, Sir. This can't be my son. It...it...it just _can't_ be."

Lee glance at the file over her shoulder. "It has to be, Amanda," He pointed out. When she only glared at him., he said, "Look, how many Phillip King's can there be who getting ready to graduate from UVA with law degrees? And look at the birth date. It's his."

"But he doesn't speak Russian." She argued, refusing to accept the truth. "He did take German in high school but that was years ago."

"He was tested on his foreign language ability and he is fluent in both German and Russian. In fact, he's currently studying Chinese," Billy pointed out. "I'm sorry to have to give you this kind of news, Amanda, but Dr. Smyth laid it at my doorstep."

"It's just like the old man to hand it off to someone else," Francine muttered as she entered the room. She gave Amanda a sympathetic look and Lee a murderous one. Lee scowled back at her, lightly rubbing his jaw where she'd punched him.

"I just can't believe it."

"I can't either." Francine agreed with a shake of her head. "I mean, Phillip didn't even know you were an agent until the whole thing with Candice blew up." She reflected back on Lee's disastrous 37th birthday party almost ten years before and how in her anger at Amanda for, in her mind, "stealing" Lee from her, combined with copious amounts of alcohol, she'd revealed all of Amanda's secrets in front of her children. "He's never shown any interest in your work. You two have done everything you could over the years to keep The Agency away from your family. Besides that, I thought he wanted to follow in his father's footsteps. How did he make contact with The Agency without you knowing about it?"

"I wondered about that myself, so I did some checking," Billy answered. He picked up another file folder. "Jeff Fielder, Fred Fielder's son. He's a couple of years younger than your Phillip is, but they both did internships for college credit at the FBI training academy in Quantico about three years ago." Amanda nodded in acknowledgement. "He's always known that his father was an agent and always planned on following in _his_ father's footsteps. It wouldn't have been too hard for them to connect. You know how Fred is too. If he knew about this, he wouldn't have said anything."

"Yeah," Lee said with a grimace. He knew all too well how Fred Fielder could be.

"Dr. Smyth talked to Phillip personally and asked him how he came to be interested in this line of work and he said he'd always been interested in seeing criminals brought to justice and he thought he could do that as a lawyer, but changed his mind while he was in law school. My guess is that he's seen how much good you've done over the years on top of running into Jeff Fielder," Billy explained.

"I just wonder why he would keep something like this from us." Amanda said sadly. "We're his family."

"That I couldn't tell you. Maybe he just didn't want you to try to talk him out of it."

Lee ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "When it rains it pours," He grumbled as he kept playing his part.

"What?" Billy asked.

"Oh, nothing, Billy. It just seems like we're going to have a problem with all the kids at the same time."

"Welcome to family life, Lee," Billy said pointedly, giving his best agent a stern look to remind him of their talk earlier in the day. "That's how it's always seemed at our house. Whenever one of the kids had a problem, they all had a problem at the same time. The best advice I can give you on Phillip would be to talk to him about it as soon as possible. You don't want him seeing you there the day he shows up at Station One and blowing Amanda's cover. Now, as far as your assignments go, Lee and Amie will be the trainers and Amanda, you already know your role in this. Keep a low profile. I suggest you use your maiden name so that no one there knows you're related to either Lee or Phillip."

"Yes, Sir," Amanda answered with a sigh.

"What about me, Sir?" Francine questioned with an affronted look on her face.

"You and I will be stopping by from time to time to check on things. That's all."

"Well," Francine quipped. "It looks like you're starting your own family business."

Amanda glowered at her. "This isn't funny, Francine. This really isn't funny. This is my son we're talking about. Come on, you have a little girl now. How would you feel if it were Stephanie that wanted to be an agent?"

"Well, I don't think I have to worry about that right now, considering she's only turning six this year."

"But suppose it happened? What would you and Jonathan do?"

"I honestly don't know, Amanda," she admitted. "I'm still fairly new at the whole motherhood thing. I haven't had the years and years of practice at it that you've had. I'd like to think that we'd support whatever choices she wanted to make in her life, but that would be difficult. I know firsthand just how dangerous this job can be."

"So, then you see my point."

"Yes, but look at it this way. His training hasn't started yet. Maybe you can talk him out of it."

Lee laughed. "There's not a chance in hell of that happening."He's got a stubborn streak a mile wide, just like his mother." Amanda elbowed him in the ribs. "OW!'

"Well, he still has to get through Station One and there's no guarantee that he'll even pass the course. Especially with certain instructors on the job," Francine pointed out and couldn't help noticing that while Lee and Amanda were sitting side by side, they weren't really connecting with one another. She noticed, also that the jab Amanda had just given him was a lot harder than normal when he would tease her. _Boy, is she pissed._

"That is true, Francine. After all you managed to make my run through Station One pretty difficult," Amanda responded.

"That's just the way I like to run things when I teach those courses. I feel that if someone is going to be in this line of work, they need to be prepared for anything and everything."

"Now, come on, Francine, admit it. You wanted to see me fail."

Francine looked at her a bit sheepishly, "Okay, maybe...maybe...just a little bit, but once I started to see what an asset you really were to The Agency, I changed my mind." She watched as Amanda glanced down again at the file in her lap, staring at it as if trying to make it go away. "It seems to me that may be exactly what you want with Phillip, to see him fail."

"That's not true. I-I-I just want him to be safe." She did have to admit at least to herself that a part of her did want to see him fail if failing the course meant keeping him safe from harm, but at the same time, she was impressed that he'd managed to locate and pin down Dr. Smyth and get enrolled in the training program without anyone being the wiser. That showed that he had _some_ skills.

"Even if he does pass this course, he still has a million more hurdles to go before he'll be out in the field. It's not like when you were recruited, Amanda. He's actually doing things the way most agents do." Amanda relaxed a little. She had to admit that the way she came to The Agency was a little unorthodox.

"You're probably right, Francine. I mean, who knows? He may not even get through Station One." She was trying to calm her nerves. She was afraid her big mouth would get her into trouble yet again. She knew that she and Lee would have to talk to him in private before the day was over and that was the part she was dreading the most.

Sensing her thoughts, Lee wanted desperately to put a comforting arm around her and remind her of what a fighter he was and reassure her that everything would be okay. Amanda looked to him with pleading expression on her face, but he bolted from his seat next to her, looked away from her and began pacing.

 _A-ha_ , she thought, smiling slightly. If Lee was pacing, that only meant that he was agitated. She was only partially comforted by that thought, knowing that her eldest son may end up putting his life on the line the way she'd done so many times. Her mind was also occupied with the fact that both Jamie and Leah seemed to be having some kind of problem that neither felt they could talk to her or Lee about. Jamie would be okay, she was sure of it. He had a good head on his shoulders.

Leah was the one she was the most worried about. She'd been so sullen and moody lately. She was beginning to see a bit of Candice in her and that worried her to no end. It had all begun Wednesday afternoon when she'd picked her up from a study session at the library after school where she'd been working on her science project. She'd arranged with the other kids' parents to drive them home once they were done working. She sighed as she thought of how she'd asked how it was going as she always took an interest in what her children were learning in school. She recalled vividly how the boy she liked, Chris, had started to elaborate on their assignment, but Leah had quickly shushed him with a sharp look. Then after dropping the other three teenagers' at their homes, Leah had remained mute on the remainder of their drive home in spite of the fact that she'd tried repeatedly to engage her in conversation.

As she had all night Thursday night when trying to sleep and through Friday morning, she thought back to the first time that Leah had called her Mommy for real.

 **Friday, September 18, 1987**

 _Amanda was sitting on the sofa absently stroking her swollen abdomen with one hand and channel surfing with the other, while Leah sat on the floor bent over the coffee table, Lois-Ann tucked tightly in the crook of her right arm while she colored with her left in her Superfriends coloring book. The two of them were alone as Lee had left to drive Phillip to his first high school homecoming dance and Jamie to the library to look for resource materials for his English paper that was due on Monday. She smiled warmly at her newly-adopted daughter and asked, "How ya' doing there, Leah?"_

 _"Fine," the almost five-year-old answered. "I gots something for you." She carefully tore a page from her coloring book, jumped up from her spot on the floor and curled up next to Amanda to show her new mom her handiwork._

 _"You_ _ **have**_ _something for me," Amanda corrected as she put down the remote and took the page Leah held out._

 _"That's what I meant, Silly," Leah replied impatiently and pointed at the picture. "Look."_

 _Amanda smiled as she looked at the picture Leah had colored. It was Wonder Woman in her invisible jet and underneath it, Leah has neatly printed Amanda's name. "Thank you so much, Leah," Amanda said affectionately as she wrapped an arm around her young charge._

 _"That's you, 'Manda," Leah said excitedly. "You don't fly a jet, but you drive the car real good. Vroom, vroom." She made a steering motion with her arms tiny arms._

 _Amanda laughed, planted a kiss to the top of Leah's head and corrected her again with, "Really well. I drive the car really well." Even though she laughed at Leah's antics, she couldn't help the slight frown that appeared on her face as she wondered how all of the violence that Leah had endured in her young life would affect her in the future._

 _"Yep, you do," Leah nodded and hugged Amanda._

 _"Ooh," Amanda sighed as she felt a familiar fluttering under her hand. She smiled at the sensation and turned to Leah. "Did you feel that?" When Leah shook her head, Amanda took her smaller hand in hers and placed it on her stomach. "There."_

 _Leah's eyes widened as she felt it too. "What is that, 'Manda."_

 _"That, Sweetie, is your baby brother or sister waking up from a nap."_

 _"Wow," Leah exclaimed with a look of wonder on her face._

 _"Yeah, wow. That means they're growing and getting more active...like you."_

 _"Good. I can't wait for them to get here so I can be a big sister," Leah replied excitedly._

 _"Well, that's still several months away yet," Amanda explained._

 _"But why can't they get here sooner?" Leah asked impatiently._

 _"They need some more time to grow," Amanda answered. "But don't you worry, they'll be here soon enough. We've got a lot coming up before then, your birthday party next month, then Thanksgiving the month after that, then Christmas, and then New Year's and then they'll be here in February."_

 _Leah's hazel eyes that were so like Lee's lit up. "Am I really gonna' have my very own birthday party?"_

 _"Yes, you sure are," Amanda assured her, another wave of sadness gripping her as she thought of how much this poor little girl had missed out on in the way that Candice had dragged her all over the place, never having a stable home and filling her young mind with stories about "mean men." She was determined that from this point forward, she was going to give her the most normal life possible._

 _"Oh, boy! I can't wait!"_

 _"Well, you'll have to wait a little while. Your birthday is still a month away."_

 _Leah scooted over and curled up in Amanda's lap. "I love you, "Manda."_

 _Amanda beamed at her and replied, "I love you too, Leah."_

 _There was a moment of silence in the room between the pair as they snuggled together on the sofa, Amanda lightly stroking Leah's wild blond curls. She glanced down at the young girl for a moment and at seeing a pensive look on her face, much like the ones she'd seen on Lee's numerous times when he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure he should. "Something on your mind?" she asked._

 _Leah looked up at her with a curious look and asked, "You 'dopted me, right?"_

 _"Yes, I_ _ **a**_ _dopted you," Amanda answered her._

 _"So...that means you're my mommy now."_

 _"Mm-hmm," Amanda replied wondering where she was going with it._

 _Leah was quiet again for a long moment as if lost in thought and then blurted out, "So, my mommy went off to heaven so since you're my mommy now, can I..." she hesitated slightly," can I call you Mommy."_

 _Amanda's smile brightened and she hugged Leah tightly and said, "Of course you can, Leah."_

 _"Thank you...Mommy," Leah wrapped her arms around Amanda's neck as silent tears slipped down Amanda's cheeks._

 _The moment was broken by Leah bounding off Amanda's lap with a cry of "Daddy! Daddy!" as she flung herself at Lee._

 _"Hey there, Princess," Lee said warmly as he plucked her from the floor balancing her on one hip and then bent to greet his wife with a kiss. When he pulled back, he grinned at her. "Mommy, huh?"_

 _Amanda gave him a perturbed look. "How long have you been home?"_

 _"Long enough," He responded with a smirk._

 _"You know I hate it when you do that," Amanda reminded him._

 _"Yeah, I know, but I didn't want to interrupt the bonding moment." He turned his attention to Leah. "You, Little Princess, should be getting ready for bed. It's just about your bedtime." He set her on her feet._

 _"How come? Mommy said one of the babies woke up. How come I have to go to sleep if they don't? I'm bigger than they are. They're not even done growing yet."_

 _"And neither are you, Princess," Lee replied. "That's why you need to get some sleep. Now, go on."_

 _"Okay," she grumbled and ran up the stairs._

 _"One of the babies woke up?" Lee questioned with a curious eyebrow."What does that mean?"_

 _Tugging on the arm of the couch for support, Amanda hauled her somewhat bulky frame up to meet him, reached for his hand and placed it over her stomach. "That," she answered with a smile._

 _Much like Leah's had a few moments ago, Lee's eyes widened in delight, "It moved."_

 _"Mm-hmm." She looked up at the awed look on her husband's face and lightly brushed her lips against his. "We need to seriously start thinking about names, you know. We can't keep calling them "its. I...um...I have an idea if you'd like to hear it." When she told him her thoughts about naming them after his parents since they weren't around to meet their grandchildren, in a way, allowing the Stetson family legacy to live on, he kissed her soundly until she was breathless, his love for her glowing in his eyes as he caressed her face._

 _"I love you," Lee whispered hoarsely, his voice choked with emotion._

Amanda was once again snapped out of her thoughts, by Billy gruffly saying her name. "Amanda, everything okay?" he asked.

Amanda, still thinking about Leah, didn't reply right away. She couldn't help wondering what had happened to make that sweet little girl who had once been so excited about being a big sister act the way she was now. She shook off her nagging thoughts and nodded. "Yes, Sir. Fine, Sir." She glanced around the room to find that Francine had left without her realizing it and that Lee had halted his pacing and was not leaning against Billy's desk with his arms crossed.

"Are you sure you can handle this assignment?"

"Yes, Sir," Amanda answered, putting on a brave face. "I'm a pro. I can do this."

"I meant, with everything else that's going on," Billy gave Lee a frown.

"Oh, that," Amanda said with a dismissive wave of her hand as if it didn't matter, though inside she was screaming. In her normal upbeat, optimistic tone, she added, "We'll work it out." She then turned her gaze to Lee, the memories of his elation at feeling their babies move for the first time, and at her suggestion of naming their children after his parents, giving her new hope. There was no way that he didn't still feel something for her. "Won't we, Sweetheart?" She rose to meet him and gave him a knowing look to indicate that she knew there was something going on that he wasn't saying.

"Humph," Lee replied gruffly, but thought, _Oh, shit, she's not buying it._

"Sir, if you could just give us a minute. I think Lee and I could use some time to talk about...you know...things." She reached for his closed arms in an attempt to get him to open up to her.

"Forget it, Amanda," Lee snapped shrugging off her touch. He knew if he let her touch him, he'd be lost. "There's nothing to talk about. I pretty much said it all earlier. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some things today before we have to leave for Station One tomorrow." Without giving her a chance to respond, he pushed past her and out of Billy's office before his resolve could crumble and ruin everything. As he waited for the elevator, he decided that as much as he hated it, he was going to have to resort to the drastic measures that he didn't want to take to convince her that this was real. While he waited, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, punched in a number and waited some more. When the line was answered, he spat out, "Joe King, please."


	9. Chapter 9

Elizabeth Andrews sat in the small coffee shop near campus that had become a favorite hangout for her and her boyfriend since they'd started college almost three years ago. At least, she hoped he was still her boyfriend. Things were so strained between them right now. She ran her fingers through her shoulder length auburn hair and let out a deep sigh. She hoped that he would still show up after the way he'd taken the news Thursday night. He'd been pretty shaken up, but she was too. Didn't he realize that? They hadn't planned for this, it was true, but now they had to deal with it. She'd hoped that he was ready to start dealing with it after his phone call this morning. She looked at her watch for the fourth time in twenty minutes and heaved another deep sigh until she saw him pull up in the silver corvette his stepfather had given him. She smiled at seeing it, but then her smile soon turned to a frown as she realized that he wasn't getting out. She could only wonder what he was thinking.

Jamie sat gripping the steering wheel of the "vette so hard that his knuckles were turning white as his fear gripped him just as hard. He took a deep breath and glanced toward the diner that he and Beth had spent so many hours in and saw her sitting in the same booth by the window that they always shared. _That's not all we've shared,_ he thought with a smile as he tried to shake off his nerves and man up the way that he knew he needed to. It was his own stupidity that had gotten him into this mess. Now, he has to use his brain to clean up that mess. When he caught his girlfriend glancing out the window and they briefly made eye contact, he hastily looked away as he thought of how they'd gotten here.

 **January 1st, 1997, 12:30AM**

 _"Happy New Year," Beth tittered as they stumbled into her off-campus apartment together clinging to one another tightly, sharing heated kisses and tugging at one another's clothing._

 _"Happy New Year to you," Jamie replied in a low voice as slammed the door behind them and pulled her tightly to him capturing her lips again with his own as they worked their way toward her bedroom and toppled onto the bed together. The rest of the night had been a blur of tactile sensations as they touched and teased and held each other until they both fell into an exhausted sleep._

 _In the harsh light of day, with bright sunlight streaming through the window, Jamie awoke with a splitting headache and a sense of foreboding as he glanced at the sleeping woman in his arms. It hit him all at once like the pounding headache behind his eyes that in their fervor for one another, their tipsy state after leaving the New Year's Eve party at the Omega Phi house had caused them to be irresponsible. While this was by no means the first time that they'd made love during their four-year relationship, it_ _ **was**_ _the first time that they'd failed to take any precautions._

 _"Good morning," a soft feminine voice whispered next to him stirring him out of his worried thoughts._

 _"Morning," he replied and brushed his lips lightly to hers wondering if he should say something, if this was something they should talk about now or if he should adopt a "wait and see" attitude. Maybe it would be all right. It was only one time, right? He turned and glanced at the clock and saw that it was eleven-thirty. "Actually, it's almost afternoon." He turned back to her, kissed her once more, then slipped out of bed and began searching for his clothes._

 _"Where are you going?" she questioned as she sat up and pulled the sheet up to cover herself._

 _"The twins' birthday party is today at one," Jamie reminded her. "My mom'll kill me if I'm not there."_

 _"Oh, right. She invited me too," Beth said as she watched him get dressed. "But you know there's still time." When he looked her way, she dropped the sheet. "We could find_ _ **something**_ _to do between now and then," she added seductively._

 _Jamie grimaced, his thoughts still in turmoil over the previous night's events and how he'd been so stupid. He smiled quickly to cover his thoughts, approached her, kissed her softly and answered, "As great as that sounds, we should get there to at least offer to help Mom set up for the party. She'll say no, but at least we can say we tried and she'll appreciate that."_

 _Beth nodded in acknowledgement and replied, "Yeah, you're right." She pulled herself from bed and began to get dressed as well while Jamie turned back to his hunt for the remainder of his clothing that had been hastily discarded the night before. As they quietly dressed for the day, he kept stealing glances her way, wondering if she was having any of the same thoughts that he was and as he did so, he couldn't help noticing that she didn't seem to be as hungover as he was. He was sure she'd had just as much to drink as he had, so why did she seem to be in better shape? Did she just hold her liquor better than he did? Or was it because she was just naturally an upbeat morning person like his mother?_

 _When he'd finished dressing and saw that she had too, he asked, "You about ready to go?"_

 _"All set," Beth answered with a bright smile._

 _When they arrived at his home, they were greeted immediately by Lee with a "Look what the cat dragged in," his eyes dancing in amusement._

 _"Yeah, late party last night," was Jamie's reply._

 _"Uh-huh," Lee responded. "You know, your mom and I were at a late party last night too and neither of us looks as wasted as you do." He looked Jamie up and down knowingly. "You know, you might wanna' take care of that before your grandmother or worse...your mother...sees you." He gestured toward the stairs._

 _Jamie looked at Beth who was wearing casual clothes while he was still in his party clothes from the night before. He made a mental note to ask Beth later about keeping a few things at her place, just in case. "Uh...yeah..." Jamie realized that Lee was right. If his mom saw this picture, she'd jump all over him in a heartbeat. He smiled at Beth._

 _"Go on," Beth encouraged him. "I'll just go see if your mom needs any help with the party preparations."_

 _"Be careful with that Beth," Lee warned. "She's already thrown me out of the kitchen twice."_

 _"I will, Mr. Stetson," she replied with a laugh as she nodded at Jamie who took off for the stairs while she headed for the kitchen._

 _After Jamie had cleaned himself up a bit and changed clothes, he stepped into the kitchen to find his girlfriend chatting and laughing amiably with his mother, his grandmother and his stepsister, Leah, while they filled brightly-colored bags with favors and prepared party trays._

 _"So, it sounds like you and Mr. Stetson had a good time at the Russian Embassy party," Beth was saying._

 _"Oh, we did," Amanda laughed. "We've gone to that party together for years. It's sort of our New Year's Eve tradition now."_

 _"That sounds nice," Beth replied._

 _"Well, maybe you and Jamie will have your own New Year's Eve tradition some day," Dotty put in enthusiastically._

 _Jamie stood silently in the doorway as he watched the interactions and when Beth caught his eye, he couldn't help noticing the wistful look on her face as if she were thinking of a day when they would have their own holiday traditions as his grandmother suggested. He smiled back at her thinking of their future together, hoping that the night's events wouldn't lead to their plans irrevocably being altered._

 _Those thoughts were interrupted by his mother breezing toward him with a tray of appetizers in hand, "Sweetheart, if you're going to just stand there and not help, you should really just go find Lee or do something to get out of the way and let us work."_

 _"Sorry, Mom," he said sheepishly. "I...uh...I was just thinking." He glanced again toward Beth._

 _Amanda paused, set the tray down on the counter, brushed a stray hair from his face and said, "You look like you've been up all night. Did you get any sleep?"_

 _"Yeah, yeah, I did," Jamie answered._

 _Amanda took a quick peek back at the other ladies in the kitchen and saw that they were still embroiled in conversation, her mother telling stories of New Year's Eves past, then turned back to her son and in a lower tone said, "And where exactly did you sleep? You didn't come home last night."_

 _"Mom, come on," Jamie protested. "I'm an adult. It's not as if this is the first time that I've been out all night."_

 _"Oh, I know, I know," Amanda replied with a slight frown. "Even though you're grown up now, I just...you know...I worry."_

 _"I know, Mom, but I'm okay, really," Jamie reassured her._

 _"Okay-ay," Amanda said skeptically. She nodded to the tray. "I...uh...I should really get these out there. The party guests will be arriving any time now."_

 _"Let me take that for you," Jamie said. "Kill two birds with one stone. It'll get me out of your way and let you go back to what you were doing."_

 _Amanda nodded, and then added, "Don't ever think that you're in my way, Sweetheart." As seeing his solemn look, she asked, "Are you sure you're okay?"_

 _Jamie nodded in reply and then, unable to take the intense scrutiny of his mother's gaze any longer, picked up the party tray and hurried to the living room where he found his stepfather idly channel surfing._

 _"Hey," Lee said as he watched Jamie put the tray down. "You okay?"_

 _"Lee, don't, I already got the third degree from Mom," Jamie argued._

 _"No third degree here, but if you need to talk..."_

 _Jamie hesitated. "I...uh...I don't." He broke his eye contact with Lee and perused the room, taking in the balloons and the streamers hung throughout the room. "Mom sure does go all out for these things, doesn't she?" he reflected back on his eighth birthday party and how she'd tried her best to make it memorable even though he had the chicken pox._

 _"Yeah, she does," Lee agreed as he placed a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "Come on. Let's talk." He gestured toward the sliding patio doors._

 _Jamie swallowed hard and nodded. He really did need someone to talk to and Lee was someone that he knew he could always trust. "Yeah."_

 _They both pulled on their coats and stepped out onto the patio together, both silent for a moment as they watched Matt, Jennie and Emily at play, lobbing snowballs at each other. "They look like they're having fun," Jamie commented._

 _"Yeah, they do." Lee concurred and then looked at his stepson worriedly. "What about you? You have a little too much fun last night," he probed._

 _Jamie silently nodded. "I...uh...I think I made a big mistake." He then laid out the whole thing, leaving out the more intimate details. When he was done, Lee let out a low whistle. "And now I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should say something to her or just let it go because she doesn't seem to even register that it happened."_

 _"Jamie, Son, You have to talk to her about it. Trust me, you don't wanna' go the way your mom and I did." He nodded toward his younger children. "She was terrified to tell me when she found out that she was pregnant with the twins and a lot of that had to do with the fact that we had never sat down and had an honest conversation about it."_

 _Jamie nodded, "I remember." He reflected for a moment on how all his mom's and Lee's secrets had been revealed all at once. "Did you…uh...did you ever have this kind of scare? I mean, you were single for a long time before Mom."_

" _Maybe you're forgotten about your stepsister in the kitchen," Lee reminded him. He sighed and shook his head. "Look, it was different with me. I was never in a real committed relationship like you are with Beth, not until your mom. I didn't want any attachments for a long time so I made extra sure that I'd never have any. I always thought opening my heart to someone would do nothing but opening myself up to more loss like I suffered when my parents died, when my first real love died…" His voice trailed off a hint of sadness in his voice. He turned from Jamie and watched his children at play which just made him smile again. "Your mom made me see how wrong that kind of thinking was. You guys, this family, it means more to me than any of you will ever know." He turned back to Jamie. "More than I could ever put into words."_

" _Huh," was Jamie's reply._

" _When your mom and I planned to get married, I kept thinking in the back of my mind of how much I wanted a family of my own, but I never really told her how much because I was too afraid of how she'd react. I mean, she already had you guys and you were already half-grown. I figured she'd just shoot me down and tell me that she didn't want more kids. It wasn't until Candice barreled into our lives and told me about Leah, that I even brought up the subject. Of course, I didn't know at the time that your mom was already carrying the twins…again due to her fear. But her fear was all my fault. It came about because I never told her how I felt about it. If I'd told her sooner that I wanted kids of my own, she'd never have been that afraid to tell me that she was pregnant. I want you to know, it's not that I didn't love you and Phillip. I did and still do. It's just I saw…saw how your mom looked after you, how much she dedicated her life to you for so long and I…I wanted that for my own kids." He paused in his Amanda-esque ramble, took a deep breath and said, "You love her, right?"_

" _More than anything," Jamie answered._

" _Then tell her that, talk to her about your fears." Lee shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe she's thinking about it too and has the same fears."_

 _"Yeah, I guess you're right."  
_

Jamie's thoughts whirled as the memories washed over him, his stepfather's words ringing in his ears. His thoughts were filled with not only that conversation, but of the blazing fight he and Beth had had about the consequences of their actions. He once again was kicking himself. While Lee's advice had been sound, his fear had led to him ignoring it in spite of how much he loved Beth and now it was too late. While he'd known it was a real possibility since that drunken night, he'd pushed it to the back of his mind until last Thursday night when Beth gave him the news that he could no longer ignore.

He glanced down to the folder on the passenger seat of the 'vette and said aloud, "Just do it." He picked it up, and exited the car and walked toward the diner, his free hand going to his pocket and feeling for the velvet-covered box there.

He entered the building, slid into the seat across from Beth and said all in a rush, "I'm sorry I'm late. I had some things to do and they...uh...they took a little longer than I planned."

"Things?" she questioned warily with a nod at the folder in his hand. Was this it? Was he going to end things now since he'd obviously taken a page from his father's book and couldn't handle the idea of being responsible for a family? She had hoped when she'd given him the news that he was going to be a father, that he'd embrace it. Yes, she expected him to be freaked because she was freaked herself, but she'd never expected him to get angry as he had. She took a nervous breath as she tried to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes. She couldn't quite read his expression. She could see nervousness and…something else that she couldn't put her finger on.

"This...uh...this is the...um... the information that the university had on...um...on family housing. I-I-I thought that we...uh should consider it."

Beth nodded and swallowed hard, looking at him with watery eyes, but didn't say anything.

"God, Beth, I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. The things I said to you. I-I I have no excuse," Jamie apologized profusely as he reached for her hand. "I...uh...I just didn't know what to say...or what to do...I-I-I was so lost."

"Don't you think that I'm a little lost too?" she countered yanking her hand from his. "I mean, this is happening to me! You have the option to just walk away if you want to, I don't!'

"No, Beth," Jamie argued as he reached for her hand again and squeezed it lovingly. "It's not just happening to you. We're in this together and you're wrong, I **don't** have the option to walk away." He reached into his pocket with his free hand and set the ring box on the table in front of her. "I don't want to walk away." He lightly caressed the hand he held in his. "I love you and you don't walk away from someone you love."

Beth's eyes widened as she slid her hand from Jamie's using both hands to open the box he'd placed in front of her. "Does this mean what I think it does?" She questioned, her bright green eyes blazing.

Jamie took a deep breath, smiled at her and said, "Marry me, Beth."

She gaped at him, shoved the ring box back toward him and said, "No. Not a chance in hell," leaving Jamie staring at her in open-mouthed shock. 


	10. Chapter 10

Joseph King said cordially into the phone, "Thank you for letting me know. I'll look into it." He then slammed the phone down and spat, "Damn!" He'd kept his cool on the phone during that last call, but inwardly he was worried and wondering just what the hell was going on. The phone call he'd just ended, the one from Lee earlier and the letter that had been in his inbox this morning had him more than a little worried about his sons. "When it rains, it pours," he said aloud to no one as he was alone in his office. He glared at the letter in front of him with a frown on his face and reread it for the fourth time as if reading it again could change its meaning. He wondered if Lee's phone call and his asking to come see him at the office had something to do with both the letter and the second phone call.

" _Dear Mr. King, We regret to inform you that your son, Phillip-"_ He was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come in!" He called without looking up because he was still staring at the letter.

"Hi," Lee said in a glum tone. "Thanks for seeing me on such short notice." He slid into one of the chairs opposite Joe's desk. Joe nodded, but still didn't look up. At seeing the dour look on Joe's face, he queried, "Problem?"

Joe finally looked up and answered, "You tell me." He handed him the letter, "This was waiting for me when I got to the office this morning." When Lee hesitated, his tone became more demanding, "Go on, read it!" Lee nodded and began reading silently while Joe watched, taking in Lee's facial expression and looking for the same shock that he'd felt when reading it. When it didn't come, he accused, "You knew about this, didn't you?"

Lee shifted in his seat, tossed the letter back at Joe and replied, "I did, but-"

"And Amanda? Did she know too?" Joe asked cutting Lee off as he was getting more annoyed by the moment. "You know, a phone call might have been nice to keep me in the loop about what's going on with my son."

"Look, I only heard about it just this morning," Lee said nonchalantly trying not to show how much it mattered to him.

Joe nodded tersely, "So, do you care to explain to me why UVA sent me back my check for Phillip's tuition along with a letter telling me that he didn't enroll for the spring semester?"

Lee frowned. _This isn't going to be easy_ , he thought, but he knew that Joe had a right to know. "The only thing I know is that he's been admitted to the agency's training program starting tomorrow."

"Agency? What?" Joe's jaw clenched tightly as he tried to contain his ire. He glowered at Lee. "This is your doing, isn't it? It's not good enough for you that Phillip cares more for you than he does for me, now you've gotta' go and talk him into following in your footsteps instead of mine."

"I didn't have a damn thing to do with Phillip's decision," Lee fired back angrily. "I just told you I only found out about it this morning. I was called into my boss' office about it with no warning because he wants Amanda and me to keep an eye on him." _He wants a hell of a lot more than that,_ Lee thought bitterly, but didn't say it. "Until I was ordered to supervise the newest training class, I thought just like you did, that he was still in school. I don't even know where the hell he is. I just tried to call him on his cell on the way over here and he's not answering."

Joe took a deep breath to try to cool down. He then nodded, "Yeah, I just talked to his roommate who said he didn't come back to Charlottesville after Christmas break." He looked at Lee apologetically. "I'm sorry. When I saw this and after talking to his roommate, I...uh...I just assumed he went home to you and Amanda."

"Well, he didn't. He calls once in a while, but we haven't seen him in person in over a month since he left home with the station wagon packed as if he were going back to school."

"So, where the hell's he been living for the past month or so?"

Lee shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine." Lee ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Joe, I'll be honest with you. I don't want him in this business any more than you do. I don't want any of the kids following in my footsteps. It's been hard enough for me and Amanda," he said bitterly.

"Can't you use some of your spy resources to track him down?" Joe questioned.

"If I know Amanda, she's already all over that one," Lee surmised.

"Okay, so you don't know that much about what Phillip's up to. Can you maybe tell me why First Virginia Bank called me to inform me that Jamie just withdrew two grand from his college fund?" Joe smiled slightly as he saw the astonished look on Lee's face that he'd expected before. "You didn't know about that one, did you?"Joe grinned in satisfaction at seeing Lee's face fall.

"No," Lee answered in a clipped tone. Lee sighed and shook his head. "No, I didn't."

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in the dark for a change," Joe replied dryly.

"Yeah," Lee responded quietly. He had an idea what it was about after his conversation with Jamie on New Year's Day, but he didn't feel he should let Joe in on that one until he knew for sure what was what. He let out another deep sigh as he thought of what Amanda's reaction would be if his suspicions proved to be correct. He was already putting her through hell because of the damned job and she was still struggling with the idea that her little boys were their own men now. How would she react at finding out that she was going to be a grandmother?

"Do you think he'd in some kind of trouble," Joe asked him worriedly. "I mean, he must be, right? What could he possibly need that kind of cash for? You don't think he's into to drugs, do you? Or gambling? I mean, he's twenty-one now. I know how tempting that stuff can be when you're young."

"I...uh-I don't know." Lee heard Joe's questions, but they were only vaguely registering in the back of his mind as his thoughts drifted back to his second attempt to reach out to Jamie after he'd come home drunk Thursday night.

 **Sunday, February 9, 1997. 2:00AM**

 _Lee was awakened by hearing stumbling footsteps down the hall. He glanced at his wife and upon making sure the she was still sleeping peacefully, slipped out of bed, pulled on his robe and padded down the hall. "Jamie..." he said softly with a shake of his head. When he reached Jamie's room, it was just in time to see the younger man violently lobbing his coat at the chair that sat in front of his desk. Lee leaned against the doorframe and stated, "It's after midnight, Prince Charming," a variation of a line he'd once used on Amanda. When Jamie turned and glowered at him, he continued with, "I'm guessing right now Beth doesn't think you're such a prince, huh?"_

 _Jamie stormed toward the door and snarled, "get out!' He reached for the door, but was stopped by Lee's hand on it._

 _"Uh-uh, Pal." Lee shook his head firmly. "Not this time." He pushed on the door and stepped further into his stepson's room and then reached out to catch him as the force had knocked Jamie off-balance in his liquored-up state. "Come on, let's sit down before you fall down."_

 _"Leave me alone!" Jamie exclaimed as he tried to fight off Lee's help._

 _"Never gonna' happen," Lee responded as he gave Jamie a shove toward the bed, but winced in pain at the action, the car wreck he'd been in while chasing bad guys a few hours ago taking its toll. "We need to talk."_

 _"There's nothing to talk about," Jamie replied hotly._

 _Lee turned to close the door so they wouldn't wake the household then crossed the room to sit beside Jamie on the bed. He turned a steely gaze on him and said sternly, "Yes, there is. How 'bout we start with this being the second time this week that you've come home like this?" At seeing a sheepish look cross Jamie's face, he asked in a softer tone, "did you have another fight with Beth?"_

 _"NO!" Jamie answered defensively. "I didn't even see Beth tonight! How can I see her when every time I call, she hangs up on me?"_

 _"Is that what this little binge is about?" When Jamie didn't answer, he tried again. "Did the talk not go so well?" He gave him a knowing look. When he was still answered by silence, he scolded, "You know this isn't the way to handle things. You need to take better care of yourself."_

 _Pushing against Lee's chest for leverage, Jamie rose from the bed and at seeing Lee wince again, He fired back triumphantly, "Look who's talking." He staggered toward the chair where he'd thrown his coat and then toward his closet._

 _"I've got a pair of cracked ribs from chasing down a terrorist," Lee countered as he stood. "What's your excuse?" Jamie didn't reply again, just fumbled in the closet for a hanger to avoid looking at his stepfather. "Look, Son, I know you're in a bit of a scary situation right now..." Lee began as he approached him and placed a hand on Jamie's shoulder._

 _"You don't know the half of it," Jamie muttered quietly, finally having wrestled his coat onto the hanger, he turned to face Lee._

 _"So, why don't you enlighten me?"_

 _"It's personal," Jamie answered._

 _"Listen, I'm not trying to butt into your private life, but I...I'm worried about you, Jamie. Your mom's worried about you. I had a hell of a time getting her to go to bed tonight instead of waiting up for you to come home. If you could have seen her...the way she kept looking at the door..." Lee frowned in worry as he watched Jamie cross the room and drop his keys on the nightstand and then sink wearily down onto the bed. "I hope you didn't drive home tonight in the state you're in. I may have to take back your keys to the 'vette if you did. I can't have you out driving drunk."_

 _"Don't you dare!" Jamie's eyes flared at his stepdad's threat. "You said the 'vette was mine for as long as I wanted it!"_

 _"Then straighten yourself up and don't make me resort to that!"_

 _"Look, I knew I was in no shape to drive so I took a cab, okay?" Jamie answered in a somewhat calmer voice as he stared at the floor._

 _"Good," Lee breathed a sigh of relief. They were both quiet for a moment. Lee glanced at Jamie who was still hanging his head. "Do you wanna' talk about it?" Jamie shrugged. "Come on, Kiddo, this is me. I'm a spy, remember? I'm a master at keeping secrets. Whatever you tell me, stays between us."_

 _"No," Jamie stated adamantly._

 _"Jamie, come on. I'm worried about you, Son."_

 _"I said no!" Jamie snapped as he rose from the bed again. "My personal life is none of your business!"_

 _"You're right..." Lee paused for a beat, sighed and shook his head. "But it becomes my business when my wife is worrying herself sick over your behavior, when I see you setting a crappy example for your younger siblings. Did it ever occur to you in all of your wallowing in self-pity what kind of lousy example you're setting for your teenage sister? She's at that age when she's surrounded by peer pressure and is going to be faced with some hard choices. You coming home drunk every night isn't going to help her make the right ones. What kind of big brother are you being to her?"_

 _"Stepbrother," Jamie corrected. He then turned on Lee, his eyes flaring again in anger. "Who are you to judge me, anyway? Just the fact the Leah exists says that you didn't always make the right decisions! You got a woman pregnant that you never even cared about! At least I care about Beth!"_

 _Lee's jaw clenched as he fought the urge to lash out. No one in the family knew the real circumstances surrounding Leah's conception except him and Amanda and he didn't want them to know. He took a deep breath trying to quench his fiery anger before replying, "I admit it. I never loved Candice, but I also never knew that Leah existed until she was four years old. As soon as I did though, I took responsibility for her. Can you say that? Are you acting responsibly with Beth?" He suspected now by Jamie's reaction that he and Beth hadn't talked about their situation ahead of time and that it was now too late. Enough time had passed since their recklessness on New Year's Eve to have learned if their actions had had unplanned consequences. He just wished he could get Jamie to open up to him about it._

 _"Look, I'm tired and I just wanna' go to bed, okay?" Jamie said._

 _"Yeah," Lee nodded. "I...uh..I should get back to bed myself before your mom wakes up and notices that I'm gone. I'd hate to have to explain this to her." He walked toward the door, but paused for a moment and said. "If you need to talk..."_

 _"I don't," Jamie replied tersely._

 _Lee shook his head as he exited Jamie's room and headed back to his own._

Back in the present, Lee was shaking his head again at the news Joe had just given him wondering just what Jamie was planning to use the money he'd withdrawn from his bank account for. "I wish I knew," Lee said to Joe, then looked up at the other man and said, "But that's not what I wanted to see you about. I...uh...I need some legal help." He took a deep breath and told the story that he'd made up for his cover, the same one he'd told Billy about being tired, restless and just sick of the whole thing, only laying it on much thicker for Joe's benefit.

Joe's eyes widened in surprise as Lee spoke, frowning at hearing the way he was talking about his ex-wife. With a grim expression on his face, he eyed him warily and questioned, "You're not serious?"

"I am...deadly serious. I told you things have been hard on me and Amanda, didn't I?" Lee replied. He rose and began pacing nervously, lending more support to his cover. "The founder of the agency himself, told me over and over again to never get involved with someone I work with. I wish to God now that I'd take his advice."

"Is it really that bad that you have to resort to-"

"Come on, Joe," Lee interrupted. "You've been where I am with Amanda. You know what I'm going through. Didn't you say yourself during your own divorce that she was resistant to change?"

"Okay, what happened between Amanda and me is between Amanda and me," Joe replied coolly. "And whatever's going on between you and Amanda now should stay between you and Amanda." He paused, took a deep breath, shook his head and said, "I can't be involved in this. I just can't."

"There's no one else, Joe." Lee argued.

"Sure there is. If this is really what you want, there are a ton of other lawyers out there. I can give you a referral."

"No," Lee stated adamantly. "No referral. It has to be you, only you." Lee leaned across the desk to make his point. He'd known that Joe would refuse, so he came armed with a backup plan. He just hoped Joe wouldn't call his bluff. He didn't want to hurt Amanda any more than he already had.

"Absolutely not," Joe fired back just as adamantly as he too stood and stared at Lee.

"No?"

"No," Joe answered.

The two men attempted to stare each other down for a few more moments, before Lee broke their stalemate. "Okay then," he said with a sadistic leer as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out an envelope and tossed it in front of the other man and then dropped back into his chair, slinging one leg over the arm and folding his arms across his chest. "Then, I'll just have to make sure that that finds its way into Amanda's hands."

As he extracted the contents of the envelope, Joe's eyes narrowed. "How did you get this?"

Lee grinned again and threw Joe's own words back in his face, "I used my spy resources."

"Look, this...uh...this isn't what it looks like...I can explain."

"Oh, I know it's not. I did my research, so you don't have to explain a thing to me, but try explaining that to Amanda."

"This is blackmail," Joe said hotly.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Blackmail is such an ugly word. I like to think of it more as a tough negotiation," Lee answered with a smirk, but inwardly hating himself for what he was doing.

"Fine," Joe conceded.

An hour later, Lee exited Joe's office, paperwork in hand. As he stepped into the elevator and glanced down at the documents and cringed at seeing his signature at the bottom and found himself unable to take his eyes off the words at the top. "Amanda, please forgive me," he said as he read silently, _Petition for Dissolution of Marriage_ , the words haunting him all the way down to the lobby.


	11. Chapter 11

Jamie sat staring at his girlfriend, his thoughts whirling again. At seeing the stern, unforgiving look in her eyes, he glanced down at his hands, then at the ring box she'd shoved back at him. In all of the scenarios that he'd played out in his head, he'd never considered this one. He'd thought she might say no at first but he'd never expected such a vehement outburst from her as "Not a chance in hell." He sighed as he picked up the still open ring box, the sparking diamond within mocking him. "Beth..." he said softly as he finally tore his gaze from the ring that he'd painstakingly picked out for her. "I...uh...I don't understand. I-I-I...I...uh...I thought you loved me."

"I do," She replied honestly, then narrowed her eyes at him, "But the question is, do you really love _me_?"

"How can you ask me that? You know I love you," Jamie answered.

Beth shook her head. "I thought you did, but after last night..." Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her hands fidgeting nervously trying to stop tears from forming in her eyes again. As she reflected back on the events of the previous night, her hurt turned to ire. She raised her head to look at him, her eyes flaring in anger. "How could you accuse me of purposely getting pregnant?"

Before Jamie could answer, they were interrupted by a waitress coming to take their order. "What can I get you kids today?" she asked cheerily as she glanced from one to the other, a bit unnerved by the tension she'd walked in on. She'd frequently waited on the young couple in the three years that they'd been patronizing the little hole in the wall.

"Nothing for me right now," Jamie said stiffly.

Beth shook her head and told their regular waitress, "I'm not hungry, Lilly. Maybe later."

Lilly the waitress nodded and walked away, shaking her head, wondering just what was going on between the lovebirds that had always seemed so happy together. Normally, she wouldn't let a customer stay if they weren't ordering something, but these two had become her favorite regulars. They were always so polite, so cheerful and even though, being college students, they didn't leave the biggest of tips, they were a breath of fresh air compared to the oafish fraternity boys that often came in late at night after a kegger. She looked sadly at them and the abandoned ring box on the table between them and wondered just what had gone wrong.

"Hey, Lilly! Get the lead out of your ass!" Her boss called from the area of the kitchen. "Are those kids gonna' order something or what? If they're not, then get them the hell out of here so we can use the table for _paying_ customers!"

"For what? The three people you've got in here," she fired back gesturing to the nearly empty restaurant.

Jamie and Beth hearing the familiar banter that they'd become accustomed to looked at each other and both burst out laughing, the tension between them broken for the moment.

Jamie smiled awkwardly and Beth and said, "I'm really, really sorry, Beth. I wasn't thinking clearly when I said what I did."

Beth smiled back weakly, glanced for a moment to the argument still going on between their favorite waitress and her boss. "You know, maybe we _should_ get out of here, go someplace where we can talk in private."

"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "Your place maybe? I mean, it...it...uh...it is just right around the corner." He recalled that was how they'd found this little place. They'd been walking one day from her apartment toward campus and had stumbled across it completely by accident and it had soon become their favorite hangout since it was only one block down and one block over from her place.

Beth nodded back, "Yeah, that's what I was thinking too."

Jamie nervously picked up the ring box, closed it, stuffed it in his pocket, slid from the booth, and then reached for Beth's hand to help her up. He then grabbed the folder containing the housing information with his free hand.

They walked out of the diner hand in hand, stealing little sideways glances at each other, but neither quite sure what to say. On the surface to anyone observing them, it might appear that it was just another normal day for the couple as they walked from "their" place to the apartment building she'd called home for the past three years, but everything was different now. They were no longer two young carefree college kids; they were going to be parents. That knowledge weighed on both of them as they entered her apartment.

It wasn't until the door was closed behind them, that the silence was broken. When Beth released his hand to toss her keys on the entry table, then sank wearily onto the sofa, Jamie blurted out, "Beth, I was a jerk! I was the king of jerks!"

Beth looked at his piteous, woebegone face and couldn't help laughing. "Well, I guess there's a reason your name is King," she quipped.

Jamie chuckled awkwardly, shook his head and joined her on the sofa. "I guess," he replied. He set the folder in his hand on the coffee table and took both of her hands in his as he'd seen Lee do with his mom many times and said, "But just because I was a jerk, that doesn't mean that I don't love you. I do. I've loved you since our senior year of high school. Longer, really. I loved you even before you knew who I was; from the time I first saw you on stage when you played Laurey in our junior year production of "Oklahoma."

"That may be true, but you've had a funny way of showing it since I told you about the baby," Beth replied softly.

"Look, Beth, you're right, I'm apologizing here. I don't know what else I can do. I can't take it back, can I? Why can't you accept that I'm really sorry for what I said. I was panicked and I-I-I said some awful things. I know I did." He cringed as he thought of how he'd blamed her for it, for not being on the pill like other girls. He knew it was wrong because he was just as much at fault as she was, but having had a few drinks in him, he wasn't thinking clearly. He also knew that she'd already told him before the first time they'd ever made love that she'd had a bad reaction to the pill when she was thirteen and her doctor had prescribed it for her to regulate her periods.

"So, you're sorry," she spat out. "So what? It doesn't change the fact that you said it or that you went as far as to suggest getting rid of it."

"God, I didn't mean it. I swear, I didn't. I-I-I just didn't know what to do. I don't know if I'm ready for this, but I know that I love you more than anything and I don't want to lose you over this, so I'll do whatever it takes to _**get**_ ready" When she was silent, he continued, "I've spent all morning working out what other options we have. I spent an hour at the campus housing office and two hours looking for the perfect ring for you. I'm trying to make it right. Don't you understand that?"

"Oh, I understand it," She answered coolly as she yanked her hands from his, rose from the sofa and began pacing. "You only wanna' marry me because of the baby. You wouldn't be doing any of this if not for me being pregnant. You'd still be living happily with your mommy and daddy and not have to act like the adult that you are."

Jamie also rose from the sofa and reached for her arm, turning her to face him, "Is that what this is about? You think I don't really wanna' marry you just because I still live at home? I made that decision for you! So, we could still be together after high school! Don't you remember?"

 **March 23, 1994**

 _After a family dinner minus his big brother since he was away at school, Jamie sat staring in awe at all of the bulging envelopes on the coffee table in front of him and couldn't help shifting a little nervously at all the choices when his parents entered the room with their after-dinner coffee._

 _"This is amazing, Jamie," Amanda gushed, beaming with pride as she sat next to him. "You've been accepted to so many colleges, you can pretty much go anywhere you want."_

 _Jamie looked at his mom and while she'd said it with pride in her voice in his accomplishments, it was also tinged with a bit of sadness. "Mom..." He began._

 _"So, what's your first choice, Sport?" Lee questioned diverting attention back to the subject at hand. "Still got your heart set on Stanford?" Lee picked up one of the envelopes, "'Cause, you know, you got into Oxford too."_

 _"Lee!" Amanda hissed, looking at her husband in horror._

 _"What? I'm just thinking that if he's going away to college, Oxford might be nice for him because Emily's there and she could help him get acclimated and maybe not feel so homesick. Besides, you know very well, there are a lot of great things to see and do in England from when we were there together."_

 _Jamie looked at the pained expression on his mother's face and answered, "No, as cool as that sounds, Oxford's out. It's just too far away."_

 _"So, does that mean Stanford's out too?" Armanda asked wistfully. "It's awfully far away too, you know."_

 _Jamie sighed. He knew his mom would be devastated if he went to a school that was too far away, but at the same time, he liked the prestige of Stanford and was tickled that he'd gotten in. "I-I-I don't know. I've been looking through all of these as they've come in and Stanford's great, but they don't have a biochemistry program and that's really what I want. You know, I've wanted to be a research scientist since I took my first real science class in high school. Stanford only has a regular chemistry program." He nodded toward the two separate piles on the table. "I already separated out the schools that have the degree program that I want and the ones that I don't."_

 _"Sounds logical," Amanda nodded. "So, which one's which?"_

 _"The pile on the left is the definite "nos" because they don't have what I want," Jamie answered. "You know, I'm actually considering Georgetown. They have the degree that I want, it's close to home, plus Dad would be thrilled since it's his alma mater."_

 _"And this is in no way related to the fact that Beth is going to Georgetown," Lee put in with a grin as he sipped at his coffee._

 _"Well, that's a plus too," Jamie blushed furiously," But also, I could still live a at home, I mean...if...if that's alright with you guys."_

 _Amanda's eyes lit up," Of course it is, Sweetheart."_

 _"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" Lee asked warily._

 _"Lee, Sweetheart, it's Jamie's decision," Amanda argued before turning back to her son. "It is_ _ **your**_ _decision. We'll support whatever choice you make."_

 _"Well, I was thinking about it and staying home will save you guys some money, I mean, with Phillip in college too. I know that I got some scholarships, but they're not full scholarships and..."_

 _"Listen, Amanda, why don't we go get the other kids tucked into bed and let Jamie make his decision on his own, okay?"_

"Oh, Please," Beth scoffed. "You may have partially stayed here for me, but we both know the main reason you stayed home was because you were too afraid to leave your Mom. You're such a mama's boy and I thought you'd have outgrown that by now, but-"

"No, I'm not! If I were, I wouldn't have done all this," He said as he picked up the folder and shook it at her.

"Okay, great! Family housing, but that will only work for the next three months until you graduate and go off to Harvard Medical school and leave me here with one more year of school to go. I'm not a genius like you, remember?"

"I'm not going to Harvard," Jamie stated bluntly. "While I was on campus today, I applied to Georgetown's medical school."

"What? No, you can't give up your dreams. I won't let you. Then you'd just regret it and blame me down the road."

"I'm not giving up my dreams, I'm just changing the path to get there. It doesn't matter to me what school I go to as long as I'm with you. Now that we're having a baby, that's more important to me than ever. I'm not going to be my father and walk away from my responsibility to my family...or to the woman I love."

"Jamie..." Beth replied softly, the tears she'd been holding back finally sliding down her cheeks.

Jamie took her hands again and said, "Please, Beth, I love you. We've been talking about getting married someday anyway; building a life together. I still want all that. Now, we'll just be doing it a bit sooner than we planned."

"I don't know, Jamie," Beth choked out through her tears. "I love you too, but I-I-I don't want to see us fall apart like you said your parents did because they got married before they were ready when she got pregnant with Phillip."

"And I don't want that either, but that won't happen to us and do you know why? I'm not planning on running off to some remote jungle somewhere and leaving my family behind. The main thing is that we love each other. This-this took us by surprise, but it's something we were planning on in the future, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Beth agreed.

"The way I look at it, our future was just meant to start a little earlier."

Beth nodded and smiled slightly even though she was worried. "I...uh...I guess you're right. I mean, we love each other, right?"

Jamie smiled back, reached into his pocket and held out the ring box to her. "So, does that mean I can give this to you now?"

"Yes," she answered. She hastily wiped her tears away with her right hand while allowing Jamie to slide the diamond ring onto her left. "It's beautiful."

Jamie shook his head. "You're beautiful," he said and then softly kissed her. "I love you, Beth. I really, really love you."

"I love you too," she answered. "I'm...um...I'm just scared."

"I know. Me too. I've been scared since the day this happened, worried if it would result in this," Jamie concurred as he took her hand and led her back to the couch where she curled up against him and he draped an arm around her.

"Why didn't you every say anything?" she asked.

"Fear," He admitted honestly. "I didn't know how to bring up the subject. I was afraid of what your reaction would be. I mean, I know we talked about having kids one day, but that one day just seemed so far off in the distant future, you know?"

Beth nodded in understanding. "Now it's here. I'm just glad we've got a solution."

"That's the easy part," Jamie said with a slight cringe. "We still have to explain all of this to our parents."

"Yeah, I know," she replied grimly.

"So...uh...who should we start with? Yours or mine?"

"I'm thinking yours since I was already invited to dinner tonight over a week ago."

Jamie nodded. "Makes sense."

"How do you think your mom will react?" Beth asked worriedly.

Jamie shuddered slightly as he thought of it, trying to imagine Amanda Stetson's reaction to the news that she was going to be a grandmother. He knew she was already having enough trouble coping with the idea that he and Phillip were adults. How was she going to handle this?


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: The organization mentioned in the flashback scene, Brothers to the Rescue, is a real group based in Miami and the mention of the FBI paying a Cuban spy was a real incident in February 1996 as was the shooting down of the planes mentioned.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Amanda paced the Q Bureau restlessly as far as the cord on her desk phone would let her, her mind running in twelve directions at once as she dialed her eldest child's cell phone for the third time and got no answer. Where was Phillip? She'd already done some investigating, found out that he'd never registered for school this semester and had run a check for all local hotels and apartment complexes, and found nothing with his name on it, indicating that wherever he was living now, it was in someone else's name.

Her thoughts were also filled with worry for Leah and curiosity with what was going on with her. Was this just normal teenage girl behavior? She had only gone through the teenage years with boys before, so maybe she was worrying for nothing. Although, she also couldn't recall a time that as a teenage girl herself that she'd been blatantly disrespectful to her own mother. Yes, she'd had her moments of rebellion, like the time she'd been so mad about her mother accusing her of smoking, that she went right out and did it. Leah's stinging words of Thursday night still rang in her ears, _She's not my_ _ **real**_ _mother!_ Even days later, the words still bruised her heart. It was true, yes, but it didn't make it any less painful.

"Damn!" she swore, something that she rarely did as she got Phillip's voicemail again, slammed the phone down and began pacing the full length of the office. She had to find her son. As she paced, her mind drifted to Lee's hurtful actions and couldn't help wondering what it was about. Yes, they'd fought on Thursday and again on Saturday when he'd insisted on going by himself to talk to one of his contacts, one that he said would be skittish and likely bolt or worse if he didn't come alone. She tried to shake off those nagging thoughts and focus on the task at hand, finding Phillip.

She hurried out of the office, down the stairs past Mrs. Marston who tried to stop her. "Mrs. Stetson, you have-"

"Later, Mrs. Marston," Amanda cut her off without even looking her direction. "Whatever, it is, it can wait until later." She then stepped into the elevator to take her downstairs to the Electronic Surveillance division, her thoughts still tormenting her. She reflected back on the fight that she and Lee had had in the office on Saturday.

 **Saturday, February 8, 1997, 10:00AM**

 _Amanda was typing furiously on the computer while Lee was on the phone, both of them trying to track down more information on the escaped prisoner from Guantanamo Bay. It had been reported to them on Thursday morning and the military had asked for the agency's help since it was rumored that he was headed for DC and under questioning while still a prisoner, he'd confessed to a plot against President Clinton over his refusal to negotiate regarding the long-standing trade embargo._

 _"Yeah, I understand," Lee said just before he hung up the phone. He glanced over Amanda's shoulder and asked, "Anything?"_

 _"Nothing concrete so far, but I think I may have a lead. I just need to access a few more computer records and see where they take me. You?"_

 _"Maybe. I just got off the phone with one of my contacts at the Cuban Interests Section. I need to go meet him in a half hour," Lee answered._

 _"Well, just give me a minute and I'll do with you," Amanda suggested._

 _"Uh...Amanda..." Lee hedged causing his wife to halt in her typing and look up at him curiously._

 _"What? What is it?"_

 _"This guy...he...uh...he's not one for company since he's inside Castro's inner circle. He insisted that I meet him alone."_

 _"Sounds like it could be dangerous," Amanda replied worriedly._

 _"Not if I go alone like he asked," Lee fired back. "This guy's really skittish, the kind of skittish that if he sees anyone else around, he may just take of or he may start shooting and ask questions later."_

 _"All the more reason for you to have some backup," she argued._

 _"Amanda, no!" Lee stated firmly. "You just keep doing what you're doing. You sounded like you might be onto something in the computer records." He nodded toward the computer. "Besides, you're much better with that thing than I ever will be." He smiled at her._

 _"Don't you try to butter me up," Amanda scolded. "You're going out there, taking a chance with your life and you shouldn't do it alone."_

 _"Amanda, will you just listen to me for once? I'm still the senior agent here and I'm telling you to stay put!"_

 _"Oho, you're_ _ **telling**_ _me! Did I just hear you right? Don't you try that pulling rank on me bit! I've been watching your back for almost fourteen years now and I'm not about to stop now!"_

 _Lee took a deep breath and said in a calmer tone, "And I appreciate that, but seriously, my back doesn't need to be watched right now, but it will if I don't meet him on time. Now, please, just stay put and follow your own lead, okay?"_

 _Amanda nodded. "Who is this guy anyway?"_

 _"Uh-uh," Lee shook his head. "I know you, Amanda. If I tell you who he is, the next thing I know, you'll be tracking him down, or worse, showing up at the meet and that's the worst thing you could do with this guy. He's just too twitchy. Please, for both our sakes, just trust me, hmm?"_

 _Amanda sighed and conceded. "I trust you..." she paused for a beat and then added, "Call me in an hour just so I know you're okay."_

 _"You got it," Lee responded with a smile. "But I shouldn't be gone longer than that." He planted a quick kiss to her lips and left the office._

 _Amanda sighed again before sitting down and continuing her task. She worked silently on her research while sipping at the cup of coffee beside her when a tidbit about their escaped prisoner caught her eye. "Two hundred thousand dollars? Where was he transferring that kind of money?" she mused aloud. She quickly jotted down the bank account information and after a few more keystrokes, let out a sigh of frustration and muttered, "Great, a numbered account in Switzerland." Undeterred, she kept typing away to investigate who owned the account that had received the wire transfer._

 _"A-ha," Amanda stated triumphantly. "Brothers to the Rescue. That makes sense." She was familiar with the organization that used questionable tactics to rescue Cuban exiles and with the fact that they had been trying for years to bring down the socialist regime in Cuba. She also knew that just a year ago, the FBI had been under investigation for paying for information from one of their members, a man named Roque, who had turned out to be just a spy for the Cuban government and had infiltrated the Brothers in an attempt to take them down. It was believed that Roque had also been responsible for the Cuban Air Force shooting down two of the Brothers' planes around that same time._

 _"So, what's the connection?" Amanda questioned aloud. She decided to cross-reference the information that she had with the FBI's files from a year ago and that was when she found herself startled by what she found. "Oh my gosh." She printed the pages from the computer files and began to gather them all together in one large file. She was about to leave to report this to Internal Affairs, but then thought better of it worried about what would happen if someone from there was involved. "Think, Amanda think!' She thought about telling Billy what she'd found, but then he'd insist on getting internal affairs involved since it looked as if one of their own might be crooked. "No," she said firmly._

 _"I got it." She gathered up her things, deciding that since it was entirely possible that someone within the FBI were involved as well, that she'd go straight to the DoJ and hope someone would take her seriously._

Amanda was snapped back to the present by Leatherneck's cheerful voice saying, "What can I do you for, Mrs. S.?"

"Hi, Leatherneck. I need a little help tracking someone down. You can do that with their cell phone signal, right?" She smiled pleasantly. She wasn't about to tell him that it was her own son she wanted to track down as that would raise too many questions. She already didn't like the fact that people upstairs in the bullpen were gossiping about her and Lee, making speculations about their marriage falling apart and if it were related to the fact that she'd obviously been thrown by the news that her son had applied to the agency.

He nodded, "Sure can. As long as they haven't got it turned off. You have the serial number of the phone?"

"No," Amanda answered with a frown.

"No problem," Leatherneck answered at seeing the dejected look on her face. "We can just do it the old-fashioned way by just tracing a call. You have the number, right?"

"But what if he doesn't answer? I've been calling, but all I get is his voicemail. Doesn't a call have to be connected for you to trace it?"

"Piece of cake," He told her with a smile. "The voicemail answering it will connect a call too and it can't hang up on you as long as there's not a dead silence. You just let the voicemail answer and keep talking to it 'til we get a trace on the location." He took her by the arm leading her to a table with a phone hooked into a computer system. "Here, use this phone to call. It's already set up for tracing. Just gimme' a thumbs-up when the voicemail picks up."

Amanda nodded and began dialing, doing as she was told and when she once again, got the dreaded voicemail, she gave Leatherneck a sign and launched into her best ramble, "Hi, Phillip. It's Mom. I...um...I was just calling to check in on you. You haven't called home in a while and you know me...I...uh...I was getting a bit worried about you. I hope school is going okay for you. I know it's gotta' be a stressful time for you with this being your last semester of law school and all, so I understand why you haven't called in a while, but still it would be nice to hear your voice." When she saw Leatherneck giving her a thumbs up, she wrapped it up. "So, I...um...I'm probably going to be out of the office today, but if you could give me a call on my cell, I'd appreciate it. I love you." She hung up the phone and gulped in a lungful of air.

"Your boy, huh?" Off Amanda's gloomy look, he said, "I heard about it."

"Why am I not surprised?" she replied a little sarcastically and then immediately apologized. "I'm sorry, Leatherneck. it's not you. I appreciate your help, really, I do. I'm just...you know...a little worried."

"Yeah, I know, but now you can stop worrying," Leatherneck gestured to the computer screen. "There's your boy, right there."

"Great! Thank you so much," She said sincerely as she jotted down the address, stuffed the slip of paper into the pocket of her suit jacket and hurried back toward the elevator.

As she rode the elevator back upstairs, she once again found her mind drifting to the events of Saturday.

 **Saturday, May 8, 1997, 1:00PM**

 _Compiling all her evidence into one neat file had taken her the better part of an hour. She'd spent another hour and a half trying to convince a bored and skeptical-looking agent at the Department of Justice that there was an elaborate conspiracy within the US intelligence community and another thirty minutes in lunchtime traffic to get back to the office. All the while, she was worrying about her husband as he'd never called as he said he would._

 _To make matters worse, she'd no more than entered through the Georgetown foyer and had headed toward her office when she was stopped by Mrs. Marston's voice, "Mrs. Stetson, before you go up there, you should stop by the infirmary first."_

 _"Why?" she asked warily, her worry for Lee increasing. "What's going on?"_

 _"Mr. Melrose just told me to deliver the message when I saw you," the matron answered with a noncommittal shrug._

 _Amanda sighed and replied wearily, "Thank you, Mrs. Marston," as she changed directions to follow her boss' instructions._

 _Upon entering the infirmary and seeing her husband with his ribs being taped up by Dr. McJohn, she let out a loud cry of, "Oh my gosh! You're hurt!" She rushed to his side and slid an arm around him comfortingly._

 _"Relax, Amanda, I'm okay," Lee said testily. "It's just a couple of busted ribs." His protests were belied by him letting out sharp hiss of pain as Dr. McJohn worked. "Hey, are you about done there?" He growled at McJohn._

 _"All finished," McJohn answered. "You're free to go now."_

 _"Thank God," Lee grumbled as he reached for his discarded shirt but winced in pain as he did so._

 _"Here, let me help you with that," Amanda took his shirt from his hands and helped him to put it back on. While she did so, she asked, "So, your skittish contact. Did he do this to you?"_

 _"No, the steering wheel of the agency car I borrowed did this when I rear-ended the escaped lunatic," Lee answered._

 _"That's why you should wear a seatbelt," she scolded as she finished with the buttons on his shirt. "And why you should have had backup."_

 _"I DID have backup. I called it in when I got the location of his hideout from my contact. I got there right as he was leaving and tried to apprehend him but then he took off like a bat out of hell. I had no choice but to follow him."_

 _"Why didn't you call me?"_

 _"I did. You didn't answer," Lee explained as he gingerly scooted himself from the examining table, mindful of his broken ribs. "You must have stepped out of the office. When the switchboard said you weren't answering, I had them patch me through to Billy instead so I could get some help."_

 _"Why didn't you try my cell?" she questioned._

 _"Amanda, there wasn't time. I was already on the line with the agency and the creep was going to get away if I didn't pursue him."_

 _"This is why I should have gone with you," Amanda countered._

 _"Where the hell were you anyway?" Lee turned the tables on her as they exited the infirmary together. "I thought I told you to stay in the office and dig through the computer records._

 _"I did. I mean, I was, but I found something-"_

 _Their conversation was interrupted by Billy walking toward them with a loud, "Scarecrow! My office! Now!"_

Amanda shook her head as she exited the elevator at the fact that she'd never had another opportunity to share her suspicions with Lee, between him being lectured for another two hours by Billy and them returning home to their very busy household. They'd made a pact several years ago not to discuss work at home unless it was absolutely necessary. She was about to head up the stairs to retrieve her purse and head out to find Phillip when she was halted again by Mrs. Marston.

"Mrs. Stetson," the older woman said sternly. 

"What is it, Mrs. Marston," Amanda asked in irritation finally turning toward the foyer and that was when she noticed her ex-husband sitting on one of the chairs waiting. "Joe?" she said questioningly looking at him and then at Mrs. Marston.

"That's what I was trying to tell you a few minutes ago," Mrs. Marston stated coolly.

Amanda turned her attention back to her ex. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

Joe rose, glanced briefly at the matron at the desk and replied, "I think it's best if we talk in private."

"Okay," Amanda answered warily, not liking the look on his face at all. "I was just heading upstairs. Come on." They ascended the stairs together. With the bleak look on his face, Amanda was wondering if Joe had somehow already found out about Phillip. It didn't really matter to her. If he didn't already know, she knew she needed to tell him. She unlocked the door to her office and ushered him inside. "So, what's going on?"

Joe took a deep breath. "Amanda...uh...You...uh...you might want to sit down for this. I'm afraid I've got some bad news."

"You've heard about Phillip, haven't you?" she asked with a worried look on her face.

"No, I mean, yes, I heard, but no, that's not what this is about," Joe replied. "Please, Amanda, you should sit down."

"It's about Jamie, isn't it? Whatever it is that he's been hiding, you know what it is, don't you?"

"No, I wish I did. All I know is that he withdrew a large sum of cash from his college fund today and no one knows why. I don't, you obviously don't and Lee doesn't."

"When did you talk to Lee?" Amanda questioned.

"He came to see me today," Joe answered grimly. "That's what I came to talk to you about. If you could just sit down..."

"I'll stand, thanks," Amanda said as she folded her arms across her chest. "Joe, just tell me what's going on."

Joe took another deep breath and pulled out a copy of the documents from his coat pocket that he knew she'd get her own copy of soon enough. "This..." he swallowed hard and handed them to her. "This is what's going on."

Amanda unfolded them and felt a sharp stab of pain slice through her once she realized what she was holding, however, didn't let it show on her face, simply tossed the vile papers on her desk and then looked at Joe. "Thank you for telling me," she said blandly.

Joe frowned at the blank expression on her face. He'd expected more of a reaction from her. "That's not officially your copy, you'll get your own the normal way, but I-" He broke off at seeing her expression still hadn't changed.

"You what?" she queried.

"Boy, they really train you well in spy school, don't they?" Joe said jokingly, trying to at least get some kind of reaction from her.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Come on, Joe, I know you don't approve of what I do for a living-"

"I don't care about that right now," Joe interrupted. "What I care about is you. I wanted to bring those to you in person because I didn't want you to be surprised the way I was fifteen years ago."

"Oh, Joe, that was an entirely different situation. It's not as if you were home for me to discuss it with you and I couldn't-' Tears began sliding down her cheeks at the horrible thought of history repeating itself and found she had to steady herself on the edge of her desk.

Joe quickly caught her before she could fall, wrapped his arms around her and let her cry against him. "It's okay, Amanda, let it out." She continued her heartbroken sobbing as he held her tightly and whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," trying to do anything he could to comfort her.

Amanda clung to Joe as she felt her heart breaking, all her hopes that Lee was just undercover and playing up to Amie because of it dashed by seeing his signature on the hated documents now on her desk. When she had no more tears to cry, she pulled back, hastily wiped her tears away and said, "Thank you...for being here."

Joe nodded. "Anytime," He smiled weakly and brushed her rumpled hair from her face. "You know, we may not be together anymore, but I still care what happens to-"

Joe didn't get to finish his sentences due to the door being opened. There stood Amie taking in the scene before her and said snootily, "Well, it didn't take you long to move on. Guess it wasn't true love, after all."


	13. Chapter 13

Amanda abruptly pulled herself from her ex-husband's comforting embrace and narrowed her eyes at Amie. "This is _my_ office What are you doing in here?" she said scathingly trying to rise above the other woman's snarky comments.

"I was looking for Lee," she answered haughtily as if it should be obvious. "I mean, he is going to be my partner starting tomorrow. The real question, Amanda Dear, is what are _you_ doing in here?" She glanced from Joe to Amanda and back again.

"Well, Lee's not here," Amanda snapped.

"Clearly," Amie replied coolly with a malicious grin. "I do wonder, though, what he would say if he knew that while he was away, you were here in the arms of another man."

Under the other woman's gaze, Amanda's strength faltered. "This...uh...this isn't what it looks like."

"Of course it isn't, Dear," the redhead replied disbelievingly.

"It's not," Joe replied tersely. "I'm Amanda's ex-husband. I just came here to discuss the situation with our older son."

"Oh, of course. I met your son very briefly during the group testing process and I can definitely see where the young man gets his good looks from," she cooed at Joe while sidling up next to him. "I wonder how it is that our Amanda here could ever have let one like you go. Or maybe you're the one that let her go, just like Lee is."

Amanda watched in mute disbelief as Amie worked on Joe the same way she had with just about every other man she'd ever come into contact with and reflected back on another time that she and Amie had been in a similar situation.

 **Monday, December 28, 1987, 12:30PM**

 _"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Leah cried excitedly as she bounded into the Q Bureau with Amanda behind her, her bulkier than normal frame not allowing her to keep up with the exuberant five-year-old._

 _"Leah, Sweetie, slow down," Amanda admonished._

 _"There's my two favorite girls," Lee gushed with a smile, but Amanda couldn't help noticing a flush in his cheeks, a look of relief crossing his features, tinged with what appeared to be a dollop of guilt on Amie's face. "Hey, my little princess," Lee greeted his young daughter as he picked her up and hugged her tightly. He balanced her on his hip and crossed the room to Amanda, sliding an arm around her and greeting her with a long, lingering kiss,_

 _"Yucky," Leah grumbled at watching them causing them to break apart._

 _"I'm with her," Amie said sarcastically. Lee turned and rolled his eyes at Amie._

 _"Wow, what was that for?"Amanda questioned with a warm smile._

 _"Nothing," Lee answered with a shrug as he turned his attention back to Amanda. "Can't a man just be happy to see his wife?"_

 _"I'm glad to hear you say that, especially since I look like a beached whale right now," Amanda joked._

 _"Mm-mm," Lee shook his head as he slid his free hand to her swollen abdomen. "You're beautiful. How is everybody?"_

 _"We're fine," Amanda answered. "I just came from my doctor's appointment and he said everything's fine. How's everything here?" She eyed Amie warily._

 _"Oh, Lee and I were just getting to know one another," Amie answered in a light purr. "Weren't we, Lee?"_

 _"Yeah, I know all too well what you're all about," Lee retorted archly and then asked Amanda, "What brings you here? You know, the whole point of maternity leave is for you to take a break from the office. Not that I'm not glad to see you; I am, but what's up?"_

 _"Oh, well, since I was out anyway for my appointment, and I had to pick Leah up from preschool, I thought maybe we'd take you to lunch. It's about that time."_

 _"Sounds great," Lee responded happily._

 _"But what about me?" Amie pouted. "You were supposed to be showing me the ropes around the office here."_

 _"An agent with your_ _ **experience**_ _should be able to pick up on what's going on around here," Lee countered icily. "Besides, Jonathan should be back from lunch any minute. He's been here long enough that he knows what's what." He then turned his attention back to his wife, took her hand in his and said, "But as Amanda said, it's lunchtime, so I'll be back in a bit."_

 _"Oh, well, I just thought since we were working so hard, we'd just order in," Amie argued._

 _"And what exactly is it that you were working on, Amie," Amanda questioned with a curious eyebrow, knowing full well what she'd walked in on._

 _"You know, I prefer to eat out, especially with these two lovely ladies to be my lunch dates," Lee responded draping his arm across Amanda's shoulders as they made their way to the door. Just as Amanda was about to open it, Jonathan walked in. "Oh, good. Perfect timing. Jonathan, can you give Amie the full low-down on how we do things up here?"_

 _"You got it," Jonathan replied._

 _"Nice to see you again, Amie," Amanda said sweetly as she and Lee walked out the door, a triumphant smile on her face. As they walked down the hall and toward the outer door that would lead them to the stairs, she asked her husband, "So, do I need to ask what that was all about?"_

 _"Amanda," Lee replied softly. "There's nothing for you to worry about. I promise. She was just getting...well...a little..."_

 _"Fresh?" Amanda put in, trying to keep it tame with a child in earshot._

 _"You could say that. Believe me, I put her in her place though," Lee answered reassuringly as they descended the stairs together. "And I fully intend to have a word with Billy about her behavior."_

 _"Maybe I could talk to her," Amanda suggested. "Make sure she knows that you're off-limits." She handed her ID to Mrs. Marston. "Thank you, Mrs. Marston."_

 _"Off-limits to whom?" Mrs. Marston questioned as she watched Amanda yank Lee's ID from his lapel since he had his hands full._

 _"Seeya' later, Mrs. Marston," Amanda replied with a smile as she handed Lee's ID to her and they exited together._

 _"Daddy, what was that lady?" Leah asked curiously._

 _"She works here with Daddy and Mommy," Lee answered._

 _"More like works_ _ **it**_ _," Amanda muttered._

 _"I don't like her," Leah stated matter-of-factly._

 _Amanda tried hard to stifle a laugh and said, "Now, Leah, that's not a very nice thing to say."_

 _Lee couldn't help grinning at seeing his bride struggling to scold Leah while trying not to laugh. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I'm with Leah."_

 _"Stop it," Amanda admonished him finally letting her laughter bubble forth. "You're not helping."_

 _"I'm sorry, I can't help it," Lee said with a smirk as they reached the car. He released his hold on his wife and set Leah on her feet while he unlocked it for them. "The woman seriously needs some lessons in how to behave appropriately in the office."_

 _Amanda only laughed harder at this and responded, "Is that so?"_

 _"Yeah, that's so," Lee said as he helped Leah into the car and buckled her in._

 _"OH, I see," Amanda replied._

 _"I don't think I like your tone," Lee returned as he slammed the back door of the Wagoneer._

 _"Oh, well, you know, I was just thinking that I can remember several times when behaving inappropriately in the office didn't seem to bother you a bit," Amanda explained with a flirty smile._

 _Lee couldn't help smiling back and once again leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I guess it all depends on who's in the office with me."_

Amanda was snapped back to the present by Joe's voice saying loudly, "Back off, Lady. I'm a happily married man!"

"Hmm, are you?" Amie scoffed. "That's what they all say. That's what Lee said for years..." She turned her cool gaze to Amanda, "...Isn't it, Amanda?"

Amanda, having had enough, found her strength again and replied just as coolly, "It is and with good reason! We may be having some problems right now, but that's normal in any marriage! If you'd ever bothered to try it, you might know that! Make no mistake about it; while you may be _temporarily_ partnered with Lee, he is still _my_ partner and my husband! We have been through more together than you can possibly imagine; nuclear bombs about to explode, guys trying to dump nerve gas all over DC, being trapped in a nest of killers at Christmas, not once, but twice!"

The more Amanda talked, the angrier she became at this woman trying to usurp her territory and the more confident she became that she wasn't going to. "That's not to mention, the KGB and our own people hunting us down, double agents from our own side turning against us..." She gave Amie a pointed look, "...Nearly missing our own wedding because we were chasing down bad guys, our honeymoon being drastically cut short by a bullet through the chest, an illegitimate child complete with a psychotic ex-girlfriend for a mother popping up out of nowhere and that's just a start! And do you know something, we have weathered all of that and come out stronger on the other side every time and I have no doubt in my mind that we'll get through this too!" She took a deep breath and then finished with, "Now, if you don't mind, I was just about to leave to go talk to my son before tomorrow so he knows not to blow my cover. Excuse me." She nodded to Joe and the pair exited the office.

Once they were gone, Amie's eyes fell on the abandoned paperwork on Amanda's desk and smiled gleefully as she saw what they were. "Jackpot!'

As they descended the stairs together, Joe asked Amanda, "So, you said something about talking to Phillip. Does that mean that you know where he is?"

"Well, I at least know where his cell phone is," Amanda answered. "That's a start. I'm gonna' go check it out and if he's there, try to talk to him before the training program starts tomorrow."

"Why do I get the feeling that you plan to talk to him about more than just not blowing your cover?" Joe asked knowingly as they reached the bottom of the stairs. He unclipped the visitor's pass from his suit jacket handing it to Mrs. Marston, just as Amanda did the same with her ID.

Amanda chuckled softly and replied, "You know me too well."

"Do you want some company?" he asked as he opened the door for her.

"I appreciate the thought, but I'm sure you have other things to do," she pointed out as they stepped outside.

"Not today. With all the stuff that's going on with the boys, I cleared my calendar for the afternoon, so I'm available for whatever you might need me for. It might help with Phillip to show a united front."

Amanda nodded, a stab of pain striking her again as she recalled Lee's very similar words to her in regards to Candice. She just wondered why Lee no longer felt that way about Amie or maybe his behavior toward Amie was the front. She just wished she could be sure. "Yeah, I think that's a good idea. Thank you, Joe."

"You're welcome. Why don't we take my car and then I can just drop you off back here when we're done."

Amanda nodded. They walked in silence for a moment, Amanda reflecting on how much Joe had changed since his return from Estoccia years ago, since taking over Foster's spot in the EAO and marrying Carrie, then becoming a father again to another son that he was actually spending the formative years with. He'd become much more of a homebody, the wanderlust he'd had as a younger man having dissipated. He had made a conscious effort to spend more time with the boys, his travels minimized. When they reached Joe's car, she asked, "So, how's Carrie?"

"Good," Joe answered with a smile as he walked to the passenger side of his car.

"And Allen?"

"He's fine too," Joe replied, "Turning seven in May. Hard to believe." He sighed. "But I didn't come here to talk about me. Do you wanna' talk about whatever is going on between you and Lee that's led to him filing for divorce? I mean, that's a huge step." He opened the car door for her. "Despite your long-winded outburst back in your office, I get the sense that you're not quite convinced."

"Not right now, Joe. I-I-I can't. I just want to concentrate on finding Phillip, okay?" She then quickly got into the car and slammed the door to avoid Joe's piercing gaze.

Joe walked around to the other side, got in and started the car, but as he began backing it out of its space, he cast a worried glance at his ex-wife. "Amanda..."

"No, Joe," Amanda answered adamantly. "Let's just get there. I have the address here, but we don't know how long he'll be there and if we don't get there before he takes off, then I'll have to start all over again."

"Are you sure?"

"Look, Joe, you said you'd be here for whatever I needed and what I need right now is to find Phillip." What she needed more than anything was something to take her mind off of the legal papers still sitting on her desk and she had a bone to pick with Phillip anyway about doing everything behind her back.

Joe nodded and pulled out of the agency's parking lot, driving through the DC streets with Amanda's navigation, the only words spoken between them for a while

Joe noticed that Amanda kept glancing in the mirror as he drove and wondered if it wasn't just habit because of years of working as a spy or if there was something going on that she wasn't telling him. "Everything okay?" He questioned.

Amanda nodded. "Fine," she said tersely, but she wasn't sure that it was as she'd noticed a car that had been behind them since leaving the agency. It wasn't directly behind them, but one car back, following at a safe distance so as not to be conspicuous just as she was taught years ago when learning how to tail a suspect. It didn't appear to be one of the agency cars and the driver had never attempted to get any closer. Was this some remnant of the Cuban case? Had someone decided to monitor them after Lee had tried to pursue the Cuban exile who'd escaped from Gitmo? Or was this something totally unrelated? Was it related to the report she'd submitted to Justice? Had some double agent within the agency or the FBI learned about her report? _Amanda, stop being paranoid. Maybe it's just coincidence,_ she scolded herself.

She shook it off and said to Joe, "Turn here." She needed to focus on finding her son and talking to him and she hoped, talk him out of the crazy idea of joining the agency.

Once they reached their destination, Joe pulled up alongside the curb in front of a shabby-looking apartment building. "This place doesn't look so hot," he commented. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

Amanda glanced at the building, cringing slightly as she had the same feeling about it that Joe did. Was Phillip so afraid to tell her what he'd been up to that he'd resorted to staying in a place like this rather than coming home? Amanda nodded. "This is the address the computer showed his cell phone signal was coming from." She took a deep breath as she unfastened her seat belt. "Let's just get this over with."

They climbed out of the vehicle, made their way up the sidewalk and entered the building, Amanda being gripped by a sense of foreboding as she noticed the cracked tiles in the lobby and the peeling paint on the walls. "I don't understand it," Joe said thinking the same thing that Amanda had. "Why would he choose to stay here instead of coming home?"

"Well, maybe..." Amanda smiled hopefully trying to be optimistic as she punched the elevator button. "Maybe he's not staying here. Maybe...maybe he just knows someone who lives here and he accidentally left his cell phone while he was visiting."

"Maybe," Joe replied dubiously as they stepped into the elevator. "But if that's true then _where_ is he staying? Why didn't he come home to you or to me? He's knows he has a place with Carrie and me if he ever wants it. While we're on the subject, how is it that you and Lee didn't know until now that he wasn't in Charlottesville?"

"Look, I don't know, okay?" Amanda answered defensively. "All I know is that Phillip packed up the Wagoneer with his stuff after his Christmas break was over just like he has every semester since he started college. He said good-bye to us and his siblings just like he has every time and said he'd see us at spring break and that he'd call. I just talked to him a week ago and he said he was willing to come home this weekend to help Mother look after the other children so Lee and I could celebrate our ann-" She broke off, unable to complete the sentence as her heartbreak threatened to overtake her again. She was grateful when the elevator doors chose that moment to open. "Oh, look," she said in a more upbeat tone. "We're here." She quickly stepped out of the elevator and thought for a moment that she was going to be sick at the strong musty smell in the hallway.

"You okay?" Joe asked.

Amanda nodded as she gathered her strength. "Let's go. It should be apartment 421." She glanced around looking at the numbered doors on either side of them to gauge the direction they needed to go. "This way," She said with a determined nod.

As they walked down the hall toward their destination, she kept trying to shake off the worry that was increasing with every step she took. She halted upon reaching the correct door, poised her hand to knock, but then hesitated.

"Amanda?" Joe questioned.

She took a deep breath. "I'm okay," she answered and then firmly rapped on the door with much more confidence than she felt. Amanda's eyes widened in shock when she saw the familiar face of the brunette who'd answered the door.

"My, my, Amanda King," Sonja Chenko purred, "Long time, no see."

"Not long enough," Amanda countered as she quickly whipped her pistol out and trained it firmly on the Russian spy who'd once made her life a living hell.


	14. Chapter 14

Lee parked his car alongside the curb outside the building that housed Jamie's two o'clock class and glanced at his watch to check the time. "Three o'clock. Right on time," He said gleefully as he got out of his Ford. He made his way up the walk toward the building just as his stepson was exiting while trying to stuff a book in his backpack, not noticing Lee's presence until he'd grabbed him by the arm and said, "Let's talk," and steered him toward a low stone bench.

Jamie didn't fight him. He'd known he'd have to have this conversation with his stepfather sooner or later. "What are you doing here?" he asked as he sat down on the bench Lee had indicated wearily dropping his backpack to the ground in front of it.

"The question is what are _you_ doing?" Lee asked him back with a pointed look as he sat beside him.

"I...uh...I don't know what you mean," Jamie hedged. "I...uh...I just got out of class."

"That's not what I mean and you know it," Lee scolded. "You withdrew a large chunk of cash out of your college fund today and I wanna' know why."

 _Busted,_ Jamie thought. He then nodded to Lee and replied, "I was wondering which one of you would be the first to find out about it." He then smiled a slightly nervous smile. "I'm glad it was you."

"Oh, it wasn't. It was your father. He's the one who told me and-"

"You didn't tell him?" Jamie interrupted his eyes wide with fear.

"No," Lee answered gently. Once Jamie had visibly relaxed he continued, "To be honest, I didn't know what to tell him because I'm not quite sure myself what you're up to...though I do have a pretty good idea." When Jamie hung his head, Lee slid from the bench and knelt in front of him, giving the young man no choice but to look at him. "You're gonna' be a dad, aren't you?"

Jamie nodded slowly. "Beth told me Thursday night."

Lee nodded curtly in understanding, his jaw clenching slightly as he resumed his seat next to his stepson. "So, what's the plan?"

"Th-th-the p-p-plan, Jamie stammered.

"Yes, Jamie, the plan," Lee repeated. "I assume that your trip to the bank today wasn't done so you could go on the bender of all benders. I also assume that the binge drinking and making a total ass of yourself by coming home drunk every night is over."

"It wasn't _every_ night," Jamie argued.

"Three out of the last four nights is damn close enough," Lee pointed out, "And Friday night, you didn't come home at all. You worried your mother half to death with that one."

"I called," Jamie protested. "I told her I'd be staying with a friend."

"Oh, yeah, I know you did, but that's not good enough," Lee admonished him. "You missed dinner with the family and you were so vague about where you were gonna' be-"

Jamie rose from the bench and glared at his stepdad. "Look, I'm an adult and where I go and what I do is nobody's business but my own!"

"You're right. You _are_ an adult," Lee concurred and then paused for a moment as he watched Jamie's expression soften slightly. "But you're also wrong. It is our business where you go and what you do," When it looked like he was about to protest, Lee held a hand up to silence him. "...To a point." He sighed, raked both hands through his hair and explained, "You chose to live at home with the family and your mother and I welcomed that because neither of us was quite ready to have you gone, but with that decision comes some responsibility on your part."

Jamie crossed his arms and said defiantly, "Is this the part where you tell me that as long as I'm living under your roof, I have to abide by your rules?"

Lee chuckled softly and answered, "Pretty much."

"You can spare me the lecture. I've heard it before," Jamie grumbled. "All about accountability and responsibility-"

"Well, you apparently missed one lecture that I gave you on responsibility," Lee retorted. "You remember the talk we had when you were getting ready to start high school?"

 **July 4, 1990, 10:00PM**

 _They had just said goodbye to the last of their guests from their backyard barbecue and tucked the younger children into bed. Dotty and Amanda had headed off to begin putting away leftover food and cleaning up the kitchen when Lee, with trash bags in hand, said to his teenage boys, "Why don't you two come help me clean up outside?" When Phillip and Jamie grumbled, he said in a sterner tone, "Come on, Guys, you and your friends helped make the mess, so you can help clean it up."_

 _The boys complained, but obeyed, following their stepfather outside and began picking up paper plates and cups throwing them into one bag while Lee started tossing the remnants of exploded fireworks into another. "Those sure were some cool fireworks this year," Jamie commented._

 _"Yes, they were," Lee agreed. He thought about the conversation that Amanda had asked him to have with the boys before school started up again and while he knew it needed to be done, he felt a bit awkward about it and how to broach the subject. He sighed as there never seemed to be a good time for the seriousness of the subject matter, but he supposed now was as good a time as any. "Hey, fellas, speaking of fireworks, there's...uh...there's something that I've been meaning to talk to you both about." He gestured toward the picnic table. "Have a seat."_

 _Phillip and Jamie looked at one another worriedly as they sat down and then Phillip questioned, "Are we in trouble?"_

 _"No," Lee shook his head as he sat down across from the pair. "No trouble and I'd like to keep it that way. You're...uh...you're both getting older. Jamie, you're starting high school this fall and Phillip, you're going to be a senior and I..." He sighed. This was going to be harder than he thought. "I couldn't help noticing today with Christie here all the looks that you two were exchanging..." He blew out a long slow breath to brace himself and then continued, "...And Jamie, you've just started showing an interest in girls-"_

 _"Is this gonna' be a sex talk?" Phillip, the bolder of the two brothers blurted out cutting Lee off, "'cause if it is, Mom already had that talk with us a long time ago."_

 _"Uh...yeah, it is, Phillip, but not the same talk that your mom had with you. I know what she'd say to you. Don't do it because she doesn't want to admit that you're growing up. Me, I'm a bit more realistic about it. I know what it's like to be a teenage boy full of raging hormones and surrounded by teenage girls with equally raging hormones, so the talk I want to have with you is a bit different. I want to talk to you about how dangerous it can be. I know in your health class, they talked to you about AIDS and how to prevent it and while it's a big one, but that's just_ _ **one**_ _danger..."_

 _"You mean like, STDs and stuff?" Jamie questioned._

 _"That's part of it too," Lee answered. "The main thing is if you do decide to have sex and I'm not saying that I want you to, but IF you do, it's important to be safe about it. It's also important to be completely honest with your partner because you just never know what their past looks like and as sad as it is to say, sometimes even kids like you have a past already. I think you've both known someone your age who has had to take on adult responsibility before they were ready because they were reckless."_

 _"Yeah," Phillip concurred. "Joey Malone got Mindy Bishop pregnant and their parents made them get married."_

 _"That's the other danger," Lee acknowledged. "You could get a girl pregnant and I don't think your mom would be too happy being a grandma this young and I don't think-"_

 _"But you got Mom pregnant," Jamie argued, "Twice."_

 _"Yes, true," Lee replied, "But your mom and I are older. We wanted kids and we were ready for them. "We were in our late thirties and that's a whole lot different than being a teenage parent, trying to raise a child when you're not much more than a child yourself."_

 _"But what about Leah's Mom?" Jamie questioned. "You didn't want to have a kid with her, did you?"_

Definitely not _, Lee thought, especially not that way. "But that's exactly why I don't want you going down that road. How would either of you feel if you got a girl pregnant and she never told you about it and you find out years later that you have a kid you never knew existed? Not every parent would allow a teen marriage. If that ever happened to Leah, or Jennie or Emily, I think I'd want that boy to stay as far away from her as possible."_

 _"If you didn't kill him first," Phillip quipped. "You'd probably wanna' use the guy for target practice."_

 _Lee couldn't help laughing at Phillip's statement. "You get my point though, don't you? It's best to avoid that circumstance altogether, then you don't have to worry about it. That's where the honesty part comes in. Not only that, but being prepared. Sometimes things can happen when you least expect it." He took a deep breath and finished with, "Do you guys understand what I'm talking about."_

 _"Condoms," Phillip answered._

 _"For a start and just so you know, if you ever need them, you can buy them at any drug store," Lee said, "Of course your mom's idea of you never having sex at all is even better, but...uh...I don't think that's a very realistic expectation in this day and age. Truthfully, it wasn't even when I was your age, but I was at least prepared. Even when I wasn't thinking about having sex, I always had one in my wallet."_

 _"So, how old were you the first time?"Phillip inquired._

 _"Much too young," Lee answered with a slight flush rising in his cheeks, finding himself very grateful that the back yard was semi-dark only being illuminated by the glow of the back porch light._

 _"How young?" Jamie probed._

 _"I don't think-"_

 _"Come on, Lee, you brought up the subject," Phillip interrupted._

 _"Yeah," Jamie agreed with a nod. "So, how young were you?"_

 _"Sixteen, okay? I was sixteen."_

 _"That's younger than I am now," Phillip mused._

 _"Yeah," Jamie nodded. "And I'll be fifteen in November."_

 _"I know guys, but it was a HUGE mistake and I don't want you to repeat the same mistake."_

 _"Why was it a mistake?" Phillip asked. "I mean, was it...was it bad of something?"_

 _Lee shook his head. Phillip's bluntness never ceased to surprise him. "No, not bad, exactly, but it was kind of...I don't know...unplanned. It was my sophomore year of high school. I told you that I played football, right?" When both boys nodded, he continued, "Yeah, well, she was a cheerleader and it was after the homecoming game. We snuck out of the dance and under the bleachers with a flask she'd brought from home and well, let's just say, a little too much liquor and a little too much celebrating and we got carried away. We never spoke to each other again after that. That's why it was a huge mistake. We weren't ready."_

 _"So, even though you're telling us to be prepared, you weren't when you were our age," Jamie said._

 _"To be fair, I didn't have a dad to talk to about this stuff, just my uncle and all he ever said about the subject is that if I ever got a girl pregnant, I'd damn sure better live up to my duty to her. That's why I wanted to talk to you guys, so that you know that you can always talk to me about anything, if you have any questions, you can come to me anytime. I admit that I made a mistake my first time and as I said, I don't want you to repeat that mistake." He sighed in frustration at being ambushed by the two boys and said, "Look, I don't think either of you are ready to take that step either, but IF you do, make sure you take all the necessary precautions and that you're ready to live with the consequences, okay? That's it!" He paused and fixed them both with a steely gaze. "Do you understand me?" When both boys nodded again, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, now, come on; let's finish getting this mess cleaned up."_

Jamie sighed as Lee reminded him of that long ago talk and snapped, "Yeah, Lee, I get it. I screwed up, okay? I knew that I screwed up when I first told you about it on New Year's Day, but I'm trying to make it right. It's MY business, mine and Beth's."

"Well, how does Beth feel about all of this?"

"She's scared." Jamie sighed again and admitted, "I'm scared too. God, I'm so scared."

Lee reached to hug his stepson to comfort him, "I know, Sport, I know you are and with good reason." He pulled back to look at him. "I have to know, what's your idea of making it right? What was the two grand for?"

"I...um...I asked Beth to marry me," Jamie answered. Before Lee could respond, he said all in a rush, "the way I look at it, we were gonna' get married someday anyway and we talked about having kids in the future, we're just doing it sooner rather than later. I'm also arranging to go to medical school here at Georgetown in the fall and live in the family housing here so Beth can still finish her bachelor's degree. She'll have to take a semester off to have the baby, but she can make it up next summer and we'll...uh we'll be okay. We had a long talk today and we've got it all worked out."

Once Jamie had finished his Amanda-like ramble, Lee said, "I hope so, Kiddo, I sure hope so. Now, the big question is, when are you going to tell your mother?"


	15. Chapter 15

Author's note: For this chapter's flashback scene, I'm taking a bit of a liberty with the episode order. Most of us know that in the airing order, "Unfinished Business" should have come before "Stemwinder," but for this one, I decided to write my flashback as if the airing order were correct and Lee hadn't yet moved into his new place at the time of "Stemwinder."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Amanda glared at Sonja Chenko still training her gun on her not wavering an inch and demanded, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I should be the one asking you that considering that I live here," Sonja replied.

" _You_ live here?" Amanda repeated dubiously. Never lowering her weapon, she barked, "Where's my son?"

Joe, staring open-mouthed at his ex-wife, questioned, "Amanda, I know you're worried about Phillip, but don't you think you're overreacting?"

Sonja just looking amused said to Joe, "I can't say that I'm surprised. The last time I saw her, she was holding a gun on me very much like she is now."

"You had it coming," Amanda retorted. "You came at me with the gun first, tried to kill me, set Lee and me up as traitors. We had to run from our own people, I had to leave my children-"

"She was the one who did that?" Joe asked. He vividly recalled receiving a hysterical call from his former mother-in-law telling him that Amanda had taken off with a "strange man" and that the feds were combing the house and terrifying her and the boys. As stressful as it had been, it had also been one of the best times that he'd spent with his sons in years.

"Oh, come now, don't tell me you're still holding a grudge about that?" Sonja said with a laugh. "That was over ten years ago."

"Like I said, not long enough," Amanda countered as her mind drifted back to the aftermath of those events.

 **September 27, 1986**

 _Amanda knocked hesitantly on the door of Lee's new apartment, not quite sure what she'd find on the other side. Would it be yet another swinging bachelor pad? They'd finally begun to get back on track after being on the run. She smiled slightly at the knowledge that he'd told her he loved her and she'd reciprocated, yet she couldn't help wondering how deep his feelings for her went. They'd had no choice in their tiny one-room hideout except to share a bed, yet he'd made no move to further advance their relationship to the next level. They'd shared a few tender goodnight kisses, but nothing more and he'd hesitated when she'd asked him why he'd moved yet again. This was what the fourth...or was it fifth place he'd had since they'd known each other? When the door was opened, she smiled shyly and said, "Hi."_

 _"Hi," Lee greeted her with a warm smile and leaned in to kiss her lips softly before opening the door fully to her. "You look great."_

 _"Thanks," she replied as she entered and was surprised by what she found there. Far from the bachelor pad she'd expected, she looked around to find nothing, no furniture, no wall decorations, nothing that indicated that anyone lived here except for a large blanket spread out on the floor and a picnic-style dinner laid out on it complete with candles and wine. "I thought you said you were all moved in." She looked at him questioningly._

 _"I never said that," Lee replied as she ushered her to the area he'd carefully laid out on the floor. "I just said that I moved."_

 _"Ah, okay," she said dubiously._

 _"Go on. Sit down. Sorry that I don't have any furniture yet, but I thought we could still make the best of it and spend some time together anyway." They sat together on the floor while he poured them each a glass of wine._

 _As she sipped at her wine, she asked, "But what happened to all the furniture that you already had from your old place?"_

 _"Well, when I was packing my personal stuff, I got to looking around and when I did, I realized that none of it was really my style anymore. I couldn't stand looking at it so I sold it all to a second-hand furniture store. I...uh...I moved here because I...I don't know I wanted to start fresh and bringing all the old stuff with me wouldn't accomplish that. I...uh...I wanted something new, you know? New place, new furniture for the start of my new life."_

 _Amanda couldn't help noticing how nervous he seemed as he explained his new living situation. "I...uh...I guess I can understand that," Amanda replied. "After...after Joe and I were divorced, I kinda' felt the same way about my bedroom set, I...uh...I couldn't...Every time I looked at it...it was like a knife in the heart. I slept on the couch in my living room for days after the divorce was final because I just couldn't stand sleeping alone in the bed we'd shared for ten years. I know that probably sounds stupid because he'd been gone so much that I was pretty much already sleeping in it alone...but...uh...once I knew that it was really over and we were no longer married...it...um...It was...I don't know...different." She took a big gulp of her wine to calm her jangled nerves. She'd begun sharing her experience to make Lee more comfortable about his, but now it had only made her more nervous._

 _There was an awkward silence for a moment. Amanda licked her lips nervously and asked, "So...um...when do you get your new furniture?"_

 _Lee let out a deep breath, set down his wine glass and reached for her free hand with his, lightly caressing it with his thumb and answered, "That all depends on you."_

 _"On me?" She looked at him curiously. "Why me?"_

 _He looked around at the bare walls. "Well, I...uh...I could use some decorating help here. I'm not quite sure what I want here and I...uh...I thought maybe you could help me with that."_

 _"What happened to hiring a guy with a French name and going skiing until it's over?" she teased._

 _Lee laughed at the memories of their first undercover job together, the tension between them finally broken. "I was an idiot then, okay? You were right. I was out of touch with how real people live. In some ways, I kind of still am. That's why I want...no_ _ **need**_ _your help." He took a deep breath and finally spit out. "You see, you're part of that new start too and I want this apartment to be some place that you'll feel comfortable in. I don't wanna' live like an overgrown frat boy anymore. I..." He released her hand, stood and began pacing across the empty living room floor._

 _"Lee?" Amanda set her glass down and approached him, laying a calming hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"_

 _He whipped around to face her, took both of her hands in his and said, "Aw, hell, Amanda. I told you that I love you and I meant it, but more than that, I...uh...I don't want anyone else but you...ever." To punctuate his statement, he pulled her into a passionate embrace and kissed her soundly._

 _When their kiss had ended, leaving them both breathless, Amanda whispered, "I love you too and I don't want anyone else but you either."_

 _Lee smiled at her warmly and answered, "Good."_

 _"You know, Joe's got the boys all weekend, so I'm free anytime in the next two days if you want to go furniture shopping."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"Yeah," she nodded, softly caressed his face and placed a tender kiss to his lips._

 _The tender kiss Amanda had intended soon turned into a passionate one as they clung to one another and explored their newly-discovered feelings for each other. When things began to grow more heated between them, Lee was the first to pull back, saying in a breathless voice, "We...uh...we should slow this down...before things go too far...and...We-" He was silenced by Amanda's lips on his again as she locked her arms around his neck and pressed closer to him._

 _Amanda gasped in delight as she felt Lee's lips sliding down to her neck nipping at the tender skin there. "Lee..." she sighed._

 _"'Manda," he murmured against her skin. He pulled back to look at her for a moment. "We-"_

 _She stopped his protests again with a finger to his lips. "Don't, Lee. We've waited too long already."_

 _Lee nodded in agreement as he pulled her back to him and they spent the rest of the night exploring the new terrain of their relationship, their dinner forgotten as they feasted on each other instead._

Amanda shook off the memories that had assailed her. _That's all over now,_ she thought miserably as she reflected on how Lee had shamelessly flirted with Amie right in front of her, much like she'd been forced to listen to him making out with the woman before her more than ten years ago. She turned her anger at Lee and Amie on Sonja. "Just tell me where Phillip is!" she shouted as she stepped closer menacingly. "I'm not the rookie agent that I was then and I swear to you that if I find out that you've hurt him-"

Her words were cut off by a voice from behind Sonja. "Mom!" Phillip said sharply.

Amanda's attention snapped sideways to the sound of her son's voice, and then cringed as she realized she'd given Sonja an edge by her momentary distraction. She quickly turned back to the Russian only to be surprised when the other woman hadn't moved a muscle, simply stood there, just as she had been, arms folded across her chest and staring at her in amusement.

"Mom!" Phillip shouted again, closer this time as he flung the door all the way open. "What the hell are you doing? Put the gun down."

"Not a chance, Phillip," Amanda shook her head but never took her eyes of Sonja. "Do you have _any_ idea who she is?"

"Yeah, Mom, I know exactly who she is and I don't care. What I _do_ care about is that you're holding a gun on my girlfriend."

Amanda's head whipped around toward her son and she finally lowered her pistol. "Your-" She blinked in disbelief finally looking at her son wearing only a towel slung across his hips, his hair damp, obviously having just gotten out of the shower. "Ugh! Phillip, you can't be serious."

Phillip sighed and said, "I am. Look, why don't you just come on inside, let me get dressed and I'll explain everything, okay?"

Joe and Amanda glanced at one another and then back at Phillip. "Okay," she said as she entered the apartment still eyeing Sonja warily as Phillip took off for the bedroom.

Amanda's eyes widened as she took in her surroundings and found that the shabby exterior was a vast contradiction to her elegantly furnished interior, which she knew from prior experience, was right up Sonja's alley.

"Like what you see?" Sonja asked as she closed the door behind them. "You know, it's not as nice as my old place, but then again, you ruined that for me."

"You ruined that for yourself," Amanda fired back hotly.

"Of course, it's still better than a federal prison," Sonja continued as if Amanda hadn't spoken.

"Which is where you belong! Why aren't you there now?"

"The cold war is over or didn't your people get that memo? The KGB no longer exists. Even if it did, I don't have a place in Russia anymore. The new regime hates all remnants of the old. You may be aware that your own government made certain deals after the fall of the Soviet Union to gather information about what the new government was up to."

"You cut a deal to get out of your prison term?" Amanda questioned disgustedly.

Sonja walked to the bar in the corner, pulled a cocktail glass from the shelf and said, "Drink?"

"Why? So you can lace it with something?" Amanda said distrustfully.

"Well, come pour your own drink then," Sonja replied with a gesture to the bar. "To be honest, you look like you could use one." She poured herself vodka on the rocks and then sank leisurely onto the sofa. Amanda nodded and made her way to the bar. She may not like the woman, but after the day she'd had, she could definitely use a drink. While she perused the contents of the bar, Sonja continued, "To answer your question, yes, I made a deal. What choice did I have? I could rot away in your federal prison, let them send me back to Russia where I'd likely be tortured to death or I could take their offer, immunity for my crimes and a little cash to start over with."

"How lovely for you," Amanda replied sarcastically with a roll of her eyes as she sipped at her cocktail.

"Amanda," Joe cut in. "Maybe you should give her a chance...I mean, if Phillip trusts her..."

Amanda glared at her ex and responded coolly, "You don't know half of the hell that she put me and Lee through."

"How is dear Lee anyway?" Sonja cooed just to get Amanda riled up. "Still the dashing secret agent trying to sweep the ladies off their feet?"

"No, he's not," Amanda answered icily. "He is my husband now! We have a family!" She swallowed hard at the thought of the divorce papers still sitting on the desk in her office.

Sonja laughed again and replied, "Oh, trust me. I know all about it. Phillip talks about his family constantly and how he can't wait to follow in his amazing stepfather's path."

"Did you put him up to that?" Joe asked, still irked by learning of Phillip dropping out of law school.

"On the contrary, I've been trying to talk him out of it."

"Well, you're not going to," Phillip put in as he re-entered the room, now fully dressed. He sat next to Sonja, sliding an arm across her shoulders while she leaned her head against his shoulder. She offered him her glass and as he took a sip of the clear liquid, he said to his mother, "And neither are you, Mom."

"Phillip, listen to reason," Joe began while Amanda made a face at seeing Phillip sharing the same glass with Sonja, a disturbing thought crossing her mind at having seen her son's earlier attire and the knowledge that came with it.

"Don't, Dad," Phillip cut him off. "You don't have any say in the choices I make with my life. You lost that right years ago when you walked out on your family."

"I didn't walk out on my family," Joe replied tersely.

"No? What else would you call it? You were never there for Jamie and me when we were kids, yet you've been there for your precious little Allen and you bore the shit out of us telling us all the cute stuff he does. Where were you when we were that age?"

"You know where I was, I was-"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Amanda cried. "This is not the time to re-open old wounds from the past!" She then gaped at Phillip and asked with an incredulous look on her face. "Just how the hell did you get hooked up with someone like _her_?" She glared icily at Sonja.

"Look, Amanda, I'm not the same person that I was then," Sonja began to explain before Phillip could answer. "If you really want to know the truth, I jumped at the deal I was offered because I wanted to start over, wanted to do what _**I**_ want to do for a change. I never wanted to be an agent. I was forced into it. I was recruited by the KGB right out of college because of who my family is and one thing you learn growing up in a place like the one I grew up in is that you don't say no to the KGB. Between the KGB and my grandfather, I was caught in the middle of something that I never wanted to be caught in the middle of. I know I did some heinous things to you and to Lee, but I had no choice. Either Rostov or my grandfather would have killed me if I didn't."

"Is that the sob story you fed my impressionable young son to get him to trust you?" Amanda questioned in disbelief still reeling from finding her son involved with her bitter enemy and obviously sleeping with her.

Phillip slammed the glass on the coffee table and fired at his mother, "Mom, stop! I'm not impressionable and not so young anymore. I'm almost twenty-four-"

"And she's thirty-three," Amana put in. "Too old for you."

"You wanna' talk about too old?" Sonja said with a shake of her head. "How about we talk about my first and only assignment; to get close to a man fourteen years older than me? God, I was only twenty-two then and it made me sick every time! I kept praying that I'd get what I needed without having to resort to letting him into my bed!"

"Huh," Amanda snorted. "You sure coulda' fooled me all the times I was listening in! You lapped it up like a dog!"

"Ugh!" Sonja said in disgust. "I was playing a part, just like you were. You were good too, playing the woman scorned to the hilt! The two of you played me every bit as much as I played you!"

"We were doing a job!"

"So was I! The difference is that you were doing a job that you _chose_ to do, both of you. I never wanted that life and I don't want it for Phillip any more that you do!"

"Well, neither of you gets to decide that," Phillip said firmly. "This is _my_ decision and I stand by it!" He then glared at both of his parents and added, "And if the two of you don't like it, you can leave!"

All three heads turned at Phillip's vehement outburst staring at him incredulously.


	16. Chapter 16

Jamie was silent after Lee's last question. Lee glanced at the young man, a look of deep concern etched on his face. He knew that Amanda was already having a rough time of things because of what he was doing to her and this combined with the news about Phillip was only going to make it worse. "Jamie?" he said questioningly. When Jamie only sighed and Lee saw a look of utter fear in his eyes, he said, "your mom?' You know you can't hide this from her for long. You have to tell her."

Jamie nodded. "I...um..." He fidgeted nervously and looked at Lee with a pleading expression on his face. "I-I-I...uh...I was hoping that maybe you could help me with that.'

Lee's jaw clenched at what Jamie was suggesting and he shook his head, "No, Jamie." He let out a sigh. "Look, I can be there for moral support, but you have to break the news to your mom yourself. She deserves to hear it from you." _You're a damned hypocrite,_ he scolded himself. _She also deserves to know what you're really doing._ He was seriously thinking about telling her the truth, but then Smyth's words about her life being in danger kept haunting him. If he told her and she didn't play her part flawlessly, if there was even a hint that she wasn't the heartbroken, grieving wife, it could ruin everything and put both of their lives in even more danger. He thought back to the last time that he'd had to pretend that their relationship was falling apart and how it had come so close to ruining everything they'd been trying to build together.

 **September 20, 1986, 2:00AM**

 _Lee pulled his 'vette alongside the curb on Maplewood drive after dropping Sonja off at her apartment, desperately needing to see Amanda, but knowing he'd have to wake her to do so. He felt a little bad about what he was about to do, but not doing it would be worse, not letting her know that he'd much rather have spent the evening with her than with some neophyte Russian agent who was trying to seduce information out of him. Their "break-up" fight at their favorite restaurant had seemed so real. "Too damn real," He muttered. He needed to set the record straight now and he didn't care if he had to climb the damned trellis to her bedroom to do it. It wouldn't be the first time he'd done it and he had the ruined pants to prove it. "Just do it, Stetson," he barked at himself._

 _As he got out of his car and made his way to said trellis, he was surprised to see a light coming from her bedroom window and her peering out at him. He nodded to her, pointed toward the back of the house and watched as she disappeared from the window. He breathed a sigh of relief that she'd gotten the message as he silently slipped into the back yard to find her already there in the gazebo. "Hi," he said a bit nervously as he stepped up to meet her. He couldn't help noticing how adorable she looked in her faded blue terry robe, her hair slightly rumpled and his mind began to wander to what it would be like to see her first thing in the morning._ Stop it, _he ordered himself, not wanting to let his mind drift there._

 _"Hi, I...Um...I heard your car," she replied a little tensely as she folded her arms across her chest paused and then asked, "How'd you know I'd be up?"_

 _"I...um...I didn't. I-I-I just...I needed to see you." When she nodded and dropped her arms, visibly relaxing a bit, he clasped her hands in his, brushed a soft kiss to her lips and said, "I...um...I want you to know that this...this thing with Sonja, it's...uh..."_

 _She silenced him with a finger to his lips and answered in understanding, "I know. You don't have to explain it to me. I get it, really. It...Um...It's...it's just hard...you know." She paused for a moment, sucking her lower lip into her mouth and then continued. "I hate this."_

 _"I know, I know. I hate it too," Lee replied gently. "You were a real trouper tonight and you played your part of the angry lover perfectly, the yelling, the walking out." He chuckled awkwardly and joked, "I half expected you to throw a drink in my face." At the look on her face, he wondered if her angry words were really just an act, especially the part about going home just to sleep. While they'd been growing closer over the last year or so, he was still treading lightly when it came to crossing the intimacy threshold. While he couldn't deny that he wanted her, he didn't want to push her into anything that she wasn't ready for, but he was beginning to wonder if he weren't being pushy enough. Now was definitely not the right time though, not when their cover assignment had put so much tension between them._

 _Amanda nodded again. "I thought about it to be honest. I-" She shook her head. "It's...uh...it's just hard, you know; all the pretending."_

 _"It is," He acknowledged with a nod, "But we'll get through it, wrap this assignment up and then we can stop pretending that we're over and get back to being regular." He smiled at her, reminding her of their conversation about being regular._

 _Amanda sighed. "Lee, I...uh...I don't mean just_ _ **that**_ _pretending. I mean the way we are all the time. I'm...um...I'm tired of pretending, tired of sneaking around, tired of making up stories, tired of acting as if I'm not-" She halted her words abruptly, her face flushing._

 _"Not what?" Lee probed, hoping that she meant what he thought she meant._

 _Amanda pulled her gaze from his, instead looking down at their clasped hands. "You know, pretending that I'm not...I mean, that_ _ **we're**_ _not...in...in...involved."_

 _"Oh, involved, huh?" Lee repeated disappointment coursing through him as he'd very much wished to hear her finish that sentence with "in love."_

 _"Yeah, uh...involved. I mean, we are, aren't we?' She looked up at him with a determined gaze and questioned pointedly, "_ _ **Involved**_ _, I mean."_

 _"Yes, we're involved," Lee answered just at pointedly. "We're definitely involved."_

 _"And this...this break-up, it's...um...it's all fake...just a show, right?"_

 _"Yes, Amanda," Lee reassured her as he released her hands to lightly caress her face. "We didn't really break up. I don't want that."_

 _When her only response was a weak smile, he dropped his hands from her face and said, "You know, it's late and I should-" he gestured toward the front of the house._

 _"Yeah, and I...uh...I should get some sleep. Goodnight, Lee," she said stiffly and hurried back into the house before he could say another word._

 _"Stupid!" He chided himself. Why couldn't he just come right out and say that they were in love or that at least he was? He wasn't sure about her though. He thought he'd seen s glimmer of it in her eyes from time to time, but then she'd always look away when he caught her looking at him that way. The way that she kissed him when they were alone as if she wanted to devour him completely, he knew that she most definitely wanted him, but he still couldn't help wondering if her feelings for him ran as deep as his did for her. He raked both hands through his hair and trudged mournfully through her yard and back to his car, glancing up just once to her bedroom window on his way, disappointed yet again to find it now darkened. He heaved a deep sigh as he got into his car and steeled himself for spending yet another night without her because of yet another squandered opportunity._

"But, Lee," Jamie protested, "You're so much better at talking to Mom about stuff than I am, especially stuff like this."

"Oh, you think so, huh? Well, let me tell you a little secret. I wasn't so great about talking to your mom about stuff before we got together; I waited three long years to tell her that I loved her. I wasted all that time that we could have been together, and even once we started dating, I waited too damn long to take the next step with her."

"Ugh," Jamie cringed. "God, I don't wanna' hear about you and Mom...you know."

"Jamie, you got your girlfriend pregnant. Now's not the time to be squeamish talking about sex. Besides, that's not what I meant anyway. I mean, yes, we waited too long for that too, but what I meant was that I should have made it official long before I did, should have proposed to her sooner, just like you should have done with Beth if you really love her the way that you say you do. I know that you're trying to make things right, but somewhere in the back of her mind, she has to be wondering if you didn't just do it because of that baby."

Jamie nodded, "She said that I needed to grow up and that she wouldn't marry me if I was only doing it because of the baby."

"She's right, you know. You do need to grow up. I know that you're an adult, but you haven't really been acting like it." _Look who's talking,_ he argued with himself. When Jamie began to protest, Lee held up a hand to stop him saying, "It's not entirely your fault. Your mom and I have helped you on that path by babying you too much. Your dad's had a hand in it too with always depositing more money in your bank account for every dime you withdraw as his way of making up for not being there for you when you were little. The three of us have kept you from learning how to be self-sufficient. I'll help you in any way that I can, but you're going to have to learn to stand on your own two feet. You're going to have a wife and child to look after and that's a huge responsibility."

"I know and I'm going to need all the help I can get with that. I...uh...I don't know how to be a dad."

"I didn't either, Jamie," Lee told him honestly. "It's just something that you kind of learn as you go."

"But what about all that talk you gave me and Phillip when we were teenagers about how you and Mom were ready for kids when you had the twins?"

"I'm not talking about them, Sport. I'm talking about you and your brother and Leah. With Emily and the twins, I had months to prepare for their arrival. With you guys, I had to just jump in because you came as part of the package when I married your mom and I admit that I made some mistakes at first, like when I wasn't seeing what was really going on with you and the real reason you chucked that basketball at my gut."

"I was such a lame brain," Jamie said as the two shared a laugh at the memories. "I didn't get it, that you coming into our lives wasn't to take Mom away from us, but to give us someone else to look up to, someone else to love and someone else to love us too."

"And you know something; I was just starting to really understand how to handle you guys when Leah was dropped in my lap. Even though you made it hard on me at first, Leah was harder."

"Because she was really yours?" Jamie questioned.

"No, that's not it at all," Lee answered with a shake of his head. "Because, you two I could relate to better. You were half-grow boys, into sports and girls and being a guy, I could handle that stuff. Leah was a four-year-old little girl who wanted to play with dolls and have tea parties and all the stuff little girls like to do. That's aside from the fact that finding out that I had a daughter that I never knew about completely threw me for a loop and that's on top of later finding out that your mom was pregnant and that she'd been keeping it from me. You're at least lucky that Beth told you right away. You have some time to prepare for fatherhood. I didn't."

"I reacted badly, I know," Jamie said guiltily, "But you're right. I'm glad she told me right away. I don't know what I'd do if I had found out years later like you did."

"Well, it's a good thing that you don't have to find out. Now, is Beth still coming over for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, We already decided that we're going to tell Mom tonight at dinner. She wants to wait to tell her parents though until we get a few more things worked out, like a wedding date for starters. I thought maybe Mom could help with that."

Lee smiled. He knew Amanda would be thrown, but she'd want to jump right in and help to plan the wedding. "I'm sure she will and your grandmother too." There was another moment of silence between the two men, which was broken by Lee first. "Are you gonna' be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this, but I know what the right thing to do is for m-m-my family." _Wow,_ _family,_ Jamie thought as he spit out the words. While he was still scared, he was also awestruck that he and Beth and their baby were going to be a family. He thought back to his earlier conversation with Beth about not taking off to some remote place and he just hoped he could live up to the example that Lee had set for him and not the one that his own father had.

"I know you are, but it sounds like you're on the right track and I'm proud of you." Lee placed a hand on Jamie's shoulder. "I'm sure once her head stops spinning your mom will be too."

"Thanks, Lee," Jamie replied gratefully. "I owe you big time."

"No, you don't. That's what I'm here for. Even though I meant what I said you your need to grow up, I'm always here for you for anything you need, even if it's just someone to talk to," Jamie nodded. "Unfortunately, right now, I need to get back to the office and take care of a few things before dinner with the family tonight."

"Yeah, I should get heading to my four o'clock class anyway. Thanks, again."

The two men parted ways and Lee watched until Jamie was out of sight, breathing a sigh of relief that his stepson was taking the high road and doing what was best for his family. He just hoped with all his heart that they wouldn't follow the same path that Joe and Amanda had with marrying so young and before they'd planned to because of an unplanned pregnancy. Of course, if their marriage hadn't fallen apart, he'd never have met her and wouldn't have the life he had now, the one that this damn job was on the verge of costing him. He stewed all the way back to the agency for a solution to the problem, sincerely regretting signing his name to the divorce petition.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: For this chapter, I'm taking Phillip's gesture of running his hand through his hair the way that Lee does from a scene in "One flew East" when Lee and the boys are at his apartment. In that scene, you see a moment in which Phillip does the same thing with a little shake of his head, much as Lee does when he's upset or frustrated. I thought it would fit perfectly in with this scene.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Amanda gaped at Phillip in stunned silence, glanced for a moment at Joe and was further stunned to hear her ex-husband say, "Okay, Son, if that's what you want."

"What?" Amanda glared at Joe incredulously. "No, Joe, absolutely not! We are not leaving! Not until we get a few things straightened out here!"

"See, mom?" Phillip said pointedly as he rose from his seat. "See how good he is at bailing? Every time he can't handle something, he just takes off."

"You just told us to leave," Joe countered. "You said if we had a problem with your decision-"

"Who are trying to kid, Dad?" his son interrupted. "You're only here in the first place because you're pissed that I'm no longer following in your footsteps, but let's face it, you never wanted me to start with!"

"No, Phillip, that's not true," Joe argued.

"Do you think I haven't done the math? You and Mom got married in September and I was born the following March. Jamie and I figured it all out years ago. You never would have married Mom if you hadn't knocked her up!"

"Phillip!" Amanda exclaimed utterly stunned by her son's outburst.

"Come on, Mom. Don't even try to deny it! You gave up everything that you ever wanted for yourself because you got pregnant with me right out of college and you let _him_ call all the shots! You let him come and go out of our lives as if he were just some occasional houseguest and not our father and _your_ husband! You raised us all on your own without ever taking a second to do something for yourself until Lee came into our lives. Why the hell do you think your marriage fell apart?"

"Look, Phillip, none of this is the point," Amanda replied tersely. "The reasons that our marriage ended is between your father and me and nobody else. We've dealt with it and you should too! We've been divorced for fifteen years and we've both been remarried for ten, so that's all over." She took a deep breath as she tried to shove the thought aside that her second marriage may very well be over as well.

"It was over the day you said "I do"," Phillip fired back. "You were just too stubborn to admit that it was a mistake from the start."

"You know what, that's it! I'm done with this conversation," Joe said angrily and stomped toward the door, flinging it open.

"Go on then! Leave! That's what you're best at!" Phillip shouted.

"Amanda, are you coming?" Joe questioned.

"No, I'm not," she said and stubbornly folded her arms across her chest. "I'll find my own way back to the agency if I have to."

"Fine!" Joe snapped as he left and slammed the door behind him.

Amanda sank wearily into the armchair opposite the sofa and said, "Look, Phillip, can we just talk about this like the adults that we are." Phillip ran a hand through his hair and a pang of sadness hit her as she thought of how many times she'd seen Lee do that. She wondered if he'd picked that little gesture up from him. She sipped at her drink and as she swallowed, she also tried to swallow the pain that was threatening to envelope her.

Phillip nodded and said, "Yeah, but if you're going to try to talk me out of this-"

"I'm not here to try to talk you out of what you're doing," Amanda interrupted. "I mean, I would like for you to think about reconsidering your decision because I know how dangerous this job can be and I've got the scars to prove it."

"I know that, Mom. I-" He glanced at Sonja and said to her. "You know, I could really use some time with my mom." Sonja nodded. He then turned back to his mother. "Listen, why don't I drive you back to the office since dad bailed...as usual. We can talk on the way. I need to make a trip there to check in with the training manager before tomorrow anyway." He then leaned in to kiss Sonja and said, "I'll see you later."

Amanda grimaced at the affection her son was bestowing on the hated Russian agent. "Yeah," Sonja replied. "I need to get to class anyway."

Amanda looked at the pair questioningly. "Class?"

"I'll explain on the way," Phillip told his mother.

Amanda drained the rest of her scotch, nodded curtly to Sonja and said, "Thank you for the drink." She may not like the woman, but she was right about one thing; she'd needed that drink.

As they exited the apartment, Amanda was once again struck by the glaring difference between the interior and exterior of the place. "I know it's weird," Phillip answered before she could ask the question. "But Sonja lives here because she's worried that members of the former KGB may come looking for her if they find out she made a deal and turned a bunch of their comrades in. She figured that a run-down dump like this would be the last place anyone would look for her."

"And you live here with her?" she questioned as they stepped into the elevator together.

"Just since the first of the year," Phillip explained, "but we actually met at the beginning of last summer. Remember when I was doing all that research at Georgetown's law library when I was doing my second internship with the FBI?"

"I remember," Amanda replied.

"Well, she's a law student there. She's used part of the money she was paid by the US government to go back to school. She wants to do something worthwhile with her life and forget about the past. She's graduating this spring."

"Like you should be," Amanda said stiffly. She paused and looked at him worriedly. "What on earth possessed you to drop out of law school and pursue a career with the agency?"

"You and Lee, actually," Phillip answered honestly. "Do you remember when all that stuff first blew up with Lee's old flame and all those secrets being revealed?'

"How could I forget?" Amanda chuckled awkwardly. "The house got blown up too."

"Well, I never forgot the talk that you and Lee had with us about why you kept all those secrets, but what I really remember the most is when you guys came to Dad's to talk to us about it a week later to give us a better explanation."

 **June 27, 1987**

 _Phillip and Jamie were whooping over a video game that they were playing when Lee and Amanda walked in. They watched the boys for a moment, shooting at each other's digital airplanes and glanced at each other sharing a knowing look._

 _"Gotcha!" Jamie crowed as an explosion sounded from the game._

 _"Aw, man!" Phillip groaned._

 _"Watcha' playing?" Lee asked._

 _"Combat," Jamie answered. "And I just blew the last of Phillip's planes from the sky."_

 _"Well, I'll just get you back in a rematch," Phillip countered, sticking his tongue out and his brother as he reached for the console to start a new game._

 _"Listen, Fellas, can you hold off on that for a minute?" Amanda said. "We'd like to talk to you, okay?"_

 _"Is everything okay?" Phillip asked still a little awed by the news that his mom was a spy._

 _"Yeah, everything's fine," Amanda answered with a warm smile to her children just as Joe hobbled into the room on his crutches._

 _"How's the ankle?" Lee asked with a nod to Joe._

 _"Painful," Joe answered as he pulled himself to the sofa, Carrie sitting beside him._

 _"I know the feeling," Lee replied indicating the abrasions he still wore from the grenade that had decimated part of the house on Maplewood._

 _"Thanks...for letting us do this," Amanda said to her ex._

 _Joe nodded. "It's long past time."_

 _"What's going on," Jamie asked with a worried expression on his face._

 _"Nothing's going on," Lee answered as he led Amanda to a nearby chair and took a seat on the floor in front of it facing his stepsons. "We just...we wanted to have a talk with you about what happened last weekend. Now, that some time has passed, we're sure that you guys must have some questions."_

 _"And we wanted to talk to you about the secrecy of what we do," Amanda interjected. She took a deep breath and began. "I know you may think that spies are cool and all, but what we do is also very, very dangerous."_

 _"You told us that already," Phillip said._

 _"I know, but I want to reiterate that because it really is and that's why you can't tell anyone about it. If anyone ever asks you, all you know about our jobs is that we make documentary films, because to the outside world, that_ _ **is**_ _what we do."_

 _"I don't get it, Mom," Jamie put in. "I mean, the secrecy thing I do, but if it's so dangerous, then why do you keep doing it?"_

 _"Because it's also very rewarding," Lee replied. "What we do helps people, keeps them safe."_

 _"It's a lot of hard work and it_ _ **is**_ _really dangerous, but it's worth it in the end to know that we can have a hand in making this world a safer place for you to grow up in. That means a lot to me, making the world safer you two, for Leah and for our unborn baby here." Amanda patted her abdomen._

 _"It's kind of like your video game there," Lee added with a nod to the Atari console. "We're fighting a daily war. It's not the kind of war that you're going to see on the news, but it's there. We never truly win it, but we keep fighting because it's important to fight for what's right."_

 _"And there have been times that what we do has prevented wars from getting started," Amanda continued._

 _Phillip turned to his dad and asked, "Is that why you're always gone so much too? Doesn't your job make the world a little better too?"_

 _"Yeah, it does," Joe responded. "That's why I do it, only my job's nowhere near as dangerous as theirs is."_

"Okay, Phillip, I understand what you're saying," Amanda stated, interrupting the trip down memory lane. "But if you wanted to do your part for the world, why not just continue on the path you were on? You could have done that as a lawyer and still stay safe." They stepped out of the elevator together and outside into the late afternoon sun.

"Why didn't _you_ pick something safer?"

"You just said it yourself," Amanda reminded him, "Just like I told you ten years ago. But during that same conversation, your father told you that what he does makes the world better as well."

"Yeah, but it also destroyed our family. What he did, he did for selfish reasons, to feel better about himself by helping those in need, but he never thought once about how much he was needed at home."

"Phillip..." Amanda said sadly.

"Look, I could've done what Dad did, and there's no denying that he did a lot of good, but he did a lot of damage too. The real reason that I came to see that has a lot do with Sonja-" Phillip began.

"I knew it! I knew that conniving, vicious-"

"Mom, stop it! Would you just shut up and listen for a second!"

Amanda paused mid-step and gaped at her son in shock. He'd never spoken to her that way before, even when all of her and Lee's secrets had been dropped on him all at once. "Phillip!'

"Sorry," He said in a calmer tone, "But please, just listen and let me get the whole thing out before you jump to conclusions, okay?" He gestured toward the end of the block. "My car's around the corner." He began walking again leaving his mother no choice but to tag along. "As I was saying, A lot of it has to do with Sonja. I didn't know who she was at first. I just knew that she was different from any woman I'd ever dated before. She wasn't the vapid sorority-type that I used to run around with, she was more mature-"

" _Too_ mature," Amanda interjected.

"Mom!" Phillip snapped as they reached his car. He flung open the passenger door for his mom.

"Sorry," Amanda replied sheepishly as she got into the old familiar Wagoneer, but still couldn't help her distrust of Sonja.

As Phillip got in and started the car, he continued his story. "We started talking, mainly just about law school stuff and she told me how she wanted to make a difference in the world. With wanting to do the same thing, that instantly appealed to me. I asked her out and she...uh...she hesitated at first, I think because of the age difference..."

"Or maybe because she already knew who you were," Amanda suggested. "I mean, Phillip, come on! She's playing you! That woman did extensive research on Lee and me, so she'd have known you were my son."

"I hadn't even told her my name at that point, so she couldn't have known who I was," Phillip argued. "But I was persistent, tried to make it sound as if I just wanted to continue our conversation where we wouldn't have to whisper and could just talk openly."

"I'm sure she jumped at the chance then," Amanda said with disdain. "Get you to open up about your family." She recalled vividly how Sonja had said that Phillip talked about his family all the time.

"I didn't talk to her about you guys at first," Phillip countered. "It wasn't until the first time that we...Uh...spent the night together-"

"Ugh," Amanda groaned with a shake of her head.

"It wasn't until then that we really started talking honestly and she told me about her history with the KGB and how she wanted to start over, that she felt incredibly guilty for the things she'd done in the past, what she did to you and Lee..."

"Did it ever occur to you that she was just telling you what you wanted to hear? Loosen you up to get you to talk about what we do for a living? For Pete's sake, that's just the kind of thing the KGB trained her to do."

"No, Mom, she never asked me any questions about what you guys do for a living and I never volunteered any information."

"But she said-"

"I know what she said and it's true. I talk about my family all the time, but just the family stuff, nothing else. The only time that I've ever mentioned your work is when I told her that I wanted to join the agency last fall. She's been trying to talk me out of it ever since."

"Hmmm," Amanda replied thoughtfully, wondering why she would do such a thing. If she were still working for the Russians, she'd like nothing better than to have a man on the inside. "Last fall, you say? So, you've been planning this for a while, huh?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to do it without you or Lee helping me. I wanted to do it on my own. That way, no one could say that I only got in because of who my parents are."

"So, how exactly did you track down Dr. Smyth?" She had to admit to herself that while she was worried about the future danger that he might be in she was also proud of his accomplishment. He did what very few trained agents could have done.

"Uh-uh," Phillip shook his head firmly as he pulled up to the curb in front of the IFF building. "You have your secrets and I have mine."

As Amanda reached for the door handle, she couldn't help noticing that the same car that had been behind Joe's earlier had just pulled to the curb at the end of the block, the occupants not moving, just sitting inside. "You really wanna' be an agent?" she questioned as she slowly withdrew her gun from its holster. When he nodded, she said, "Well, here's your chance to put that to the test." She then flung the door of the Wagoneer open, and whipped around to face the other vehicle, gun drawn and shouted, "Get out of the car!" The words were barely out of her mouth when she was grabbed from behind.


	18. Chapter 18

Dropping her gun as she was pushed up the walk toward the agency's entrance, Amanda struggled against the arms holding her when a familiar voice stopped her.

"Amanda, it's me," Lee said. "Let's just get you inside, huh?"

Amanda relaxed slightly at first, but then panic began to set in. "Phillip! Where's Phillip?"

"I'm right behind you, Mom," her son reassured her.

Lee didn't release his hold on his wife until the three of them were safely inside the building. The moment he did, there was a resounding crack across his jaw courtesy of her fist. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"What the hell do you think _you're_ doing?" Lee countered as he rubbed his jaw, which was still bruised from where Francine had hit him earlier. "And what is it with the women in this building belting me all over the place?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know," Amanda replied caustically. "Think real hard and maybe it'll come to you." She then turned to where Mrs. Marston held out her ID, smiled sweetly at her and said, "Thank you, Mrs. Marston," with a cordial nod.

"Mrs. Stetson," The elder woman replied with a bemused look on her face while she watched Amanda bolt for the stairs, Lee hot on her heels. She stopped him with a loud clearing of her throat and a stern, "Mr. Stetson," as she held out his ID.

"Crap," Lee muttered as he trudged back down the stairs snatched his ID out of the matron's hand, heaved a deep sigh and then with a weak smile at his stepson said, "Hi, Phillip. Here for your check-in?" Phillip nodded. "Mrs. Marston, can you...uh...?" Without saying another word, Mrs. Marston handed Phillip a visitor's pass.

"Thank you," Phillip said politely.

Mrs. Marston looked quizzically at Lee. Of course, in her position she'd already heard all the bad news. "Do you need me to call and escort for him?"

"No, I got it, Mrs. Marston, Thanks," Lee answered. "Phillip, do you mind coming with me upstairs first?"

"No," Phillip said with a shrug. "You...uh...you might wanna' give this back to Mom though." He held up her fallen revolver.

"Thanks," Lee answered as he took the gun from his stepson slightly unnerved by how comfortable he was holding it as the two men ascended the stairs together. They entered the Q Bureau to find Amanda at his desk typing furiously on the computer. "Amanda, what are you doing?"

" _I'm_ getting to the bottom of this," she replied icily. "What are _you_ doing?"

"What do you mean you're getting to the bottom of this," Lee asked worriedly having already heard the rumor that there was a contract on her life.

"Well, why don't you ask your new girlfriend?" Amanda fired back as she rose from the desk, pushed past him and into the vault.

"New girlfriend?" Phillip questioned with a distrustful look at his stepfather.

Amanda returned from the vault, a thick file in hand and at seeing the look on Phillip's face said, "It's not as if you have any room to judge considering who _your_ new girlfriend is."

"She's not my girlfriend," Lee argued.

At the same time, Phillip said, "She's not my _**new**_ girlfriend. I already told you that Sonja and I have been seeing each other since last summer, eight months now."

"It doesn't matter if you've been seeing her for eight months or eight days," Amanda retorted. "What matters is that you're letting her dupe you. I don't care what she tells you. That...that...that _woman_ cannot be trusted. She's a Russian spy."

"Wait, you don't mean Sonja Chenko?" Lee questioned.

"Oh, yeah," Amanda answered as she sat back down at the desk. "I went looking for Phillip today while you were out ending our marriage and found him shacked up with her."

"What?" Both men exclaimed turning toward each other. "You're ending your marriage?" Phillip questioned while Lee asked incredulously, "You're sleeping with Sonja?"

"Look," Amanda put it to stop the potential argument. "None of that's important right now. What is important is this." She gestured to the computer screen.

"What is it?" Lee asked in a softer tone as he walked behind the desk to peer over her shoulder, soon becoming a bit uncomfortable with the familiarity of that move, the scent of her perfume overpowering him. He stepped back a bit to distance himself from his wife, but still allow himself to see the computer screen.

"I made a mental note of the license plate number of that car that was following me all day."

"Wait, that car was following you all day?" Lee looked taken aback.

"Uh-huh," Amanda smiled slightly at the worried look on her husband's face. In spite of his arguments to the contrary, it meant that he still cared. She just wished she could figure out what the divorce petition meant, but she did take some comfort in the fact that Virginia law required a year's separation to finalize a divorce when a couple has children so she still had time to fight for her marriage. She felt a pang of sadness as Phillip's words from earlier about letting Joe come and go stung her, combined with Joe's about her not finding out about the divorce the way that he had.

 **December 23, 1981, 1:00PM**

 _Amanda was bustling around the kitchen. Bits of flour peppered the countertop, which was also laden with mixing bowls, pots and a gutted pumpkin. She was about to reach for her mixer when the slamming of the front door and a loud shout of, "Amanda!" startled her._

 _She looked up to find her husband storming across the landing into the kitchen, a look of pure fury on his face as he clutched a sheaf of papers tightly in his fist. "Joe..." she said hesitantly as she gripped the handle of the mixer tightly._

 _"Just what the hell is this all about?" He demanded waving the papers at her._

 _"You're a lawyer, Joe," she replied tersely. "I think you know what it's all about."_

 _"B-b-but why?" he sputtered. "I demand an explanation!"_

 _"Shh, keep your voice down. I've got a cake in the oven."_

 _"Amanda, explain, now," He said as he tossed the papers onto the counter._

 _"Do you really need me to?" she asked softly._

 _"Yes," he said in a clipped tone. "You owe me that much."_

 _"I_ _ **owe**_ _you?" Amanda questioned incredulously her eyes flaring. "What about what you owe me? What about what you owe our children?"_

 _"I've always provided for you, for the boys-"_

 _"I know you have," Amanda answered with a weary sigh. "But we need more than that. The boys are growing up so fast and you're missing it. They need a father and I-I-I need a husband...I need a partner." Feeling a bit more confident at having gotten the words out, she added, "You haven't been either for a couple of years now."_

 _"I'm here now, aren't I? I came home so we could all spend Christmas together. Imagine my surprise when I stopped by my office here to pick up my mail and found those." He nodded toward the divorce papers._

 _Amanda shook her head. "It's too late, Joe. Too much has happened. Now, you can be here for the boys for Christmas, but you can't stay here. I-I-I can't. I can't get my hopes up anymore that things are going to change only to have you leave again."_

 _Joe sighed. "Not this again."_

 _"Yes, this again. It's never-ending, Joe. I have fought so hard for this marriage and I-I-I-" she took a deep breath and finished softly. "I just can't do it anymore. It's a losing fight when I'm the only one fighting."_

 _"Were you ever planning on telling me about this?" He picked up the papers and thrust them at her. "The date on these is from September."_

 _"I would have if you'd been around to tell," Amanda countered. "Joe, I love you, I really do, but I can't do this anymore."_

 _"What can I do to talk you out of this?"_

 _"You can't. My mind is made up. It's over. I can't keep on pretending that we have a real marriage. I can't keep living alone, sleeping alone, raising our children alone..."_

 _"You go through with this and that's exactly what will happen," Joe argued._

 _"That's what's already happening, Joe. Don't you see that? This way, at least, we'll both be able to move on, have some peace, and stop putting our children through hell with us fighting every time you leave again. It's not good for any of us."_

 _"Move on?" He questioned. "Is that what this is about? Have you found someone else while I've been gone? You wanna' get rid of me, so that you can "move on" with another man?"_

 _"No!" She cried. "There hasn't been anyone but you in years, not since the day we had our first date. I have never even thought of such a thing. How can you even ask me that? Besides, when have I had time? I'm too busy taking care of our home and our children, by myself, I might add!"_

 _"I don't get it, Amanda. My mother did it for years and so did yours. Why are you being like this?"_

 _"There's a big difference, Joe. Your father, my father, they came home every night; they were part of the family. They helped when they could. My parents were crazy in love with each other until the day my father died and us...we're...we're just not."_

 _"You just said that you loved me," Joe replied in confusion._

 _"I do and I always will. You've been my best friend since we were twenty years old, but I'm not in love with you anymore. If you really think about it, you'll realize that you're not in love with me anymore either. I think it's best to end it now while we still have our friendship intact. I don't want us to be one of those divorced couples who can't stand to be in the same room with each other. That wouldn't be good for the boys."_

 _"What about this?" He jabbed at the papers. "You cited abandonment as the reason for it."_

 _"What else would you call it, Joe?"_

 _Joe didn't have an answer, just dropped the papers back onto the counter and asked, "Do the boys know?"_

 _Amanda nodded. "I explained it to them the best I could. Jamie was a little confused, but then again, he's only six. Phillip didn't seem a bit surprised by it though, acted like he knew what was coming before I said anything."_

 _"Can I..." he hesitated."Can I at least go up and see them?"_

 _"Oh, Joe, of course, you can. You're still their father. Nothing's ever going to change that."_

Amanda shook off the sad memories, but couldn't help wondering if she weren't able to get through to Lee, if he would be there for their children more than Joe had been for Phillip and Jamie. _Stop it, Amanda,_ she scolded herself. _It's not over yet._ She noticed that Lee was still looking at her with a half-expectant, half-worried look on his face. She took a deep breath and explained, "When I ran the plate, this is what came up." She pointed to the computer screen.

"What? That's an agency car, straight from the motor pool," Lee replied in surprise. "What the hell would an agency car be doing following you?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Amanda said. "I think it has something to do with this." She indicated the file on her desk, the same one she'd taken a copy of to the Justice Department.

Lee picked up the file, perusing its contents for a moment, his jaw clenching as he read. _So, this is what Smyth was talking about,_ he mused. He just wondered now if the car that had been following her was the protection detail Smith had ordered for her as he'd initially thought which was why he'd pulled her away. He didn't want her blowing their cover, but now he was beginning to think that it might not be her protectors after all, but part of the conspiracy. The more he read, the angrier he became because it seemed that not only did the conspiracy involved the agency, but someone inside the FBI and maybe even the Secret Service as well. With clenched teeth, he dropped the file back onto his desk and said, "Amanda, drop this investigation."

"What? I will not!"

"Yes, you will! Billy ordered us both off this case and gave us new assignments, remember?"

"When has that ever stopped you before?" she fired back as she rose from her seat and glared at him challengingly.

"Amanda, I am not gonna' argue with you on this. You drop this case and you drop it now! I mean it!"

"No, I won't!" She repeated as she snatched up her file and shoved her way past him toward the door. "I should have shown this to Billy two days ago and that's exactly what I'm going to do!" She wrenched the door open and stormed down the hall, Lee hot on her heels, Phillip standing there awkwardly, not sure what to do.

Phillip quickly left the room following behind them, figuring that if they were too involved in their debate to escort him where he needed to be, he'd talk to the matron at the desk. He hit the bottom of the stairs, just as the elevator doors were closing on his squabbling parents. "I...uh...I guess I'm gonna' need that escort, after all," He told Mrs. Marston.

Lee and Amanda were still arguing as they exited the elevator, Amanda striding at a fast clip toward the bullpen, Lee following behind her. "Amanda Stetson, you get back here!"

"No!" she shouted back without turning around as she yanked open the glass door.

"Hey, I'm still the senior agent here!" He shouted getting her attention.

She finally turned around and spat out, "You know, I am so sick of hearing that! I have been with the agency for nearly fourteen years. I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told that Russian tramp that Phillip's going slumming with, I'm not a rookie anymore! I have been through hell and back with you and you'd think after all that time, you'd learn to trust my instincts!"

"You'd think in all that time, _you'd_ learn to follow orders! Now, you listen to me, I am ordering you off this case. You hear me?" He couldn't believe she was still being so damned stubborn. How could she now see that pursuing this investigation was endangering her life, especially now that she knew she was being followed?

"Ordering me?" Her eyes flared in anger. "You're _**ordering**_ me?"

Lee knew he was pissing her off, but pissed off was better than her questioning why he was trying to distance himself from her. He knew that his strength would only hold out for so long if she began seriously questioning him about it. "That's right! I still have seniority here and God help me, Amanda, if you don't drop this and drop it right now, I will write you up for insubordination!"

"Go for it!" Amanda retorted and spun on her heel back toward Billy's office but was halted by another blazing fight going on in front of his office door.

Francine was giving Amie a murderous look and shouting while waving a sheaf of papers in her face, "You heinous witch! How the hell could you do something like this?"

Amanda shuddered as it hit her just what Francine was holding and recalled that she hadn't seen the divorce petition still sitting on her desk where she'd left it upstairs. 


	19. Chapter 19

Author's note: I'm taking just a tiny step backward to explain what led up to Francine's confrontation with Amie.

After the meeting had broken up and everyone else had gone their separate ways, Francine had busied herself with going through the trainee files, inwardly seething at Lee for his asinine behavior as well as the office tramp, Amie, her heart breaking for Amanda. She sighed as she reached into her desk drawer for a pad of post-its to make notes with wincing slightly as her swollen knuckles grazed the side of the drawer. She glanced down at the tiny bruises that were beginning to form. "Damn," she said softly but then couldn't help the slight smile that formed as she recalled the stunned look on Lee's face when she'd punched him.

She sighed as she got back to work, wondering for the umpteenth time just what the hell Lee was doing and why he was suddenly so fascinated with Amie when up until this point, he'd been a dedicated family man who was disgustingly in love with his wife. She buried herself in her work, trying not to think about it as she read the boring background files on the new recruits, trying to mentally weed out those whom she felt would wash out right away and separate them from those who would be likely to move on for more training. At seeing the acceptance forms in some of them and Amie's familiar scrawl at the bottom of each, she began fuming again as she recalled her first real run-in with the woman.

 **January 2, 1988, 9:00AM**

 _Francine was at her desk perusing Jonathan's latest report beaming with pride at her fiancé and how well he was doing at the agency in such a short time when her good mood was abruptly shattered by Amie storming into the bullpen in a fury and slamming her fist onto Francine's desk._

 _"What's this I hear about Lee not coming to work today," Amie demanded._

 _Francine narrowed her eyes at the other woman and replied archly, "If you heard about that, then you must also have heard the_ _ **reason**_ _that he's not coming in. He's at the hospital with his wife and newborn babies."_

 _"Oh, yes, I heard," Amie snarled. "But they were born yesterday. Why the hell does he have to spend so much time there? He's already taken the last two days off!'_

 _"Have you not heard that the babies are in the NICU and can't go home until they gain a little weight? That's not to mention that he still has three other children to look after."_

 _"They have a mother, don't they?" Amie replied icily with a look of disdain for their mother._

 _Francine rose from her desk as her ire also rose. "Yes, they do, but it seems that when you're listening to the grapevine, you're only registering the parts that you want to hear. Maybe it has escaped your attention that Amanda is still in the hospital herself. Lee called me last night and said that they wanted to keep her another day to make sure that she's recovering properly because giving birth to twins is a bit tougher than a single birth. Not that I'm an expert, not having any children myself, but I can't imagine that it was pleasant for her."_

 _"It wasn't," Lee interjected from behind Amie, grinning from ear to ear, "But she was a real trouper. You should have seen her. God, she was amazing. I don't know how she did it without losing her cool, but she..."_

 _Francine smiled, finding Lee's grinning infectious. "That's our Amanda," she said. "Glad to see you." She walked from around her desk and hugged him tightly. "Congratulations, Daddy!"_

 _"Thanks," Lee replied as he hugged her back._

 _"Humph!" Amie snorted folding her arms across her chest petulantly."Are you_ _ **ever**_ _planning to come back to work?" The two friends broke apart._

 _Lee turned to Amie, his elated smile never fading and answered, "Billy told me that I can take as much time off as I need to get my family settled," He then reached into his jacket pocket, pulled out a packet of photos and turned back to Francine. "Hey, check this out. I took our other children to meet their new siblings yesterday. You should have seen them." As he started flipping through the pictures, other occupants of the bullpen began gathering around Francine's desk, clamoring for a look at the newest additions to the Stetson-King family._

 _"Ugh," Amie groaned at being jostled by the others. Having no interest in the twins, she stormed off, leaving Francine staring after her with a gloating grin._

 _An hour later, once the dust had settled and Lee had gone back to his family, Francine entered the Q Bureau completed reports in hand, ready to be filed away in the vault. At the sight in front of her, she dropped the files in her hand onto Amanda's desk, her eyes flaring as she crossed the room to where the vacuous tramp had Jonathan pinned up against Lee's desk._

 _"Hey, back the hell off," Jonathan protested._

 _"You heard him," Francine growled as she grabbed Amie's shoulder and pulled her away from her fiancé'._

 _"Francine, Honey-"_

 _"Jonathan, HONEY," she sent any icy glare Amie's way before turning back to him. "We'll talk about this tonight when we get home." At seeing the fury etched on Francine's face, Jonathan, knowing better than to argue made a beeline for the door and Francine instantly turned on the redhead. "So, you couldn't steal Amanda's man away from her, so now you've moved on to mine? Is that it?"_

 _"_ _ **Your**_ _man? You act as if you own him!"_

 _This time it was Amie's turn to be backed up against the desk as Francine inched closer to her, giving her no room to run. "Listen, Bitch, He's my fiancé'. We're planning a wedding for June." She jabbed a finger into the other woman's chest, making sure that she caught sight of her engagement ring."So, as far as you're concerned, he might as well have "Property of Francine Desmond" stamped on his ass. You got it?"_

 _Amie laughed haughtily. "I've got news for you,_ _ **bitch**_ _! Engaged isn't married. Engagements fall through all the time. He's not wearing a ring yet, so anything goes!" Francine's face fell at Amie's comment as she thought about the heartbreak she'd suffered at Jonathan leaving her standing at the altar years ago. "Ooh, struck a nerve, didn't I?"Amie crowed. "Yeah, I heard all about what he did to you back in '82." She gave Francine a look of mock sympathy, patted her on the shoulder and said, "Maybe he's just not the type to commit."_

 _Francine's anger rose again and fired back, "Well, I heard all about you too and your "adventures" in Chicago," not backing off an inch, "Your supervisor, Stu, the one who wrote you that glowing recommendation that got you here? I have a few friends in the Chicago field office and I have it on good authority that you didn't get that recommendation for your skills in the office." She then smiled at her menacingly. "In fact, it was Stu's wife that really got you here, isn't it? She found out about your sleazy little affair with her husband and threatened him with divorce if he didn't get rid of you ASAP! Poor Billy, he's a hell of a nice guy, but he doesn't ever pay attention to idle gossip, but this gossip? It isn't so idle, is it?"_

 _"Like you have any room to talk!" Amie countered. "What "skills" did you use to get you into the administrative position you're in now?"_

 _Francine braced her hands on either side of the desk, staring Amie down causing the other woman to shrink back to an almost sitting position on the desk. "Touch Jonathan again, or Lee for that matter, and I guarantee you'll find out!"_

 _"Are you threatening me?" Amie questioned hotly as she tried to reach unobtrusively for the letter opener on Lee's desk that lay beside the computer. "You could lose your job for this, you know."_

 _Francine smiled sweetly and backed up, finally allowing Amie to move, but never taking her eyes off of her, replied coolly, "No, I won't. I've been in this business long enough to know just how to hide a body if I have to. Are we clear?" Amie swallowed hard. "Good," Francine said with a curt nod and began to turn when Amie charged. Not wasting a second, Francine whipped around and knocked the letter opener out of Amie's hand where it clattered on the floor._

 _Francine quickly grabbed it pointing it right at Amie's throat and said perfectly calmly, "Now, what were you saying about my skills?" When Amie had no reply, she toyed with the letter opener, pushing the point against her own palm for emphasis. "You know, these things aren't very sharp, but if you put enough force behind it..." She smiled at the redhead holding the tip of it toward the other woman again._

 _Amie skedaddled for the door. As the door slammed behind her, Francine let out a deep sigh and said, "God, I swear this room is cursed. Just once I'd like to come in here and not see something that I don't want to."_

Francine's attention was pulled back to the present by a sudden outburst of chatter from the bullpen as the approaching sound of shouting from out in the corridor grew louder. She looked up to see Amie approaching her desk, a stack of papers in her hand, depositing one in each inbox on the way. Francine rose from her seat and questioned, "What are you doing? Since when are you part of the steno pool? Of course, that's probably where you belong since you're just like those girls down there." She grinned maliciously at her.

"Maybe this will wipe that smirk off your face," Amie replied with a spiteful sneer as she handed Francine one of the photocopied documents from her pile.

Francine glanced at the papers in her hand and realizing in an instant what it was whipped around to Amie's side of the desk, knocked the stack out of papers out of her hands while clutching the one she still held and shouted, "You heinous witch! How the hell could you do something like this?"

"Wh-what's going on here?" Amanda asked nervously as she approached the pair.

"Amanda," Francine patted her friend on the shoulder. "How are you holding up?"

"Right as rain," Amanda replied as she tried not to let Amie get to her.

"Right," Amie scoffed.

"What the hell is going on here," Lee demanded angered at his wife for her sheer stubbornness and at the fact that he even had to do what he was doing in the first place. He snatched the papers from Francine's hand, glanced at them and then snapped at Francine, "Where the hell did you get these?"

"Ask you girlfriend here," Francine retorted hotly. "She's been passing copies of them around to everyone in the office."

"Amie," he growled with an expectant look.

"Look, it's my fault. I was in such a hurry to track down Phillip that I left them on my desk." Amanda hung her head.

Lee turned to Amanda and asked, "Where'd you even get them? I just did this a few hours ago. There's no way that you should have gotten an official copy already."

Amanda swallowed hard and stammered, "J-J-Joe brought them by."

"Joe? JOE, did you say? Oh, great! That's just great! So much for your lawyer-client privilege!"

Amanda's anger flared again and she fired back, "At least HE was up front with me! He thought that I had a right to know what was going on!"

"And he just couldn't wait to console you, could he, Amanda?" Amie put in with a malevolent grin. "Not that you seemed to mind."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lee questioned then turned his question on his wife. "What the hell is she talking about?"

Amanda wrenched the papers from his hand with her free one and seeing the obvious flare of jealousy on his face, couldn't resist answering with, "Well, since you made it clear that you don't want to be married to me anymore, that's none of your business!"

"None of my-" Lee gaped at her open-mouthed as he wondered just what Amanda had been up to with Joe in his absence. "You're still my wife!" He instantly kicked himself for his outburst, realizing that he was on the verge of blowing his cover.

"Oh, you wife, am I? Maybe you should remember that!"

Lee forced himself to harden his expression to resume his cover and spat, "You know what, you're right! It doesn't matter, sleep with whoever you want!" He inwardly cringed at the thought of it even as the words were out of his mouth.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Francine shouted at him. "What is this, some sick mid-life crisis or something?" She then turned to Amie, "And you! You're just loving it, aren't you? Do you get some kind of sick pleasure out of tearing couples apart!"

Their voice soon began to overlap as Amanda fired back at Lee, "Did you ever stop to think that if you'd talked to me for five minutes like I asked to you to, that we wouldn't be where we are?"

"If they were a real couple, they couldn't be torn apart!" Amie countered to Francine.

"Talk? You wanna' talk? Let's talk about you directly disobeying orders!" Lee shouted trying to steer the fight back to the subject of work rather than their married before he could lose his nerve to keep up his facade.

"Albright, People!" Billy's booming voice sounded from the doorway of his office, turning all heads his way. "That's enough! Show's over!" He pointed to Lee, Amanda and Francine. "You three, my office now!"

Lee and Amanda obeyed, while Francine glanced at her watch and said, "Sorry, Sir. I have to go pick Stephanie up from preschool." She glowered at Amie, then Lee. "Some of us still have families." She then spun and exited the bullpen drawing Billy's attention to the doorway where Phillip stood staring open-mouthed with an agency guard by his side

"You," Billy nodded to Amie. "You have work to do." He gestured to Phillip and then turned back to his office with a heavy sigh wishing that Dr. Smyth hadn't ordered him to assign Lee and Amie to work together, fearing that it might only make this situation worse.

"Oh, Good, The gang's all here," Smyth said when Billy re-entered the room taking a long drag from his cigarette.


	20. Chapter 20

Leah Stetson sat in her science class at the end of the day lost in thought and not paying a bit of attention to a word the teacher was saying, just anxiously waiting for the final bell of the day to ring so she could get out of there. When it finally rang, she muttered, "Finally," with a sigh of relief but didn't immediately move from her seat, instead waiting for other students to file past her.

It wasn't until her best friend, Deidre tugged on her arm with a cry of, "Come on! We're gonna' be late for practice!" that she even looked up from her desk.

"You go on, Dee," She said. "I'll catch up. I wanna' talk to Mr. Avery for a minute, okay?"

Dee let go of her friend's arm and looked at her skeptically, "What's up with you? You are being such a spaz lately."

"I just have some stuff going on," she answered with a noncommittal shrug.

"You used to share stuff with me," her friend pouted. "I mean, come on, we've been best friends since we were five when you first moved in next door to me. Remember how everyone in the neighborhood used to tease us when we were little, calling us Deedee and Leelee because we were so close?' She tried to get a smile out of her friend to no avail.

"I said no already!" Leah snapped as she rose from her seat and slung her backpack over her shoulder.

"Well, whatever's up your butt, you should talk to someone about it. What about your mom?"

"She's _not_ my mom," Leah retorted and then instantly regretted it, not wanting any of her friends to know the truth.

"So, Danny and Chris were right," Deidre said knowingly. "You _are_ adopted."

"You're gonna' be late for practice," Leah reminded her to change the subject.

"You mean, we, _we're_ gonna' be late!"

"I'll be there when I get there!"

At hearing the raised voices, Mr. Avery scolded, "Ladies, the bell has rung. Is there a problem here?"

"No, Mr. Avery," Dee replied sheepishly. "No problem." She glared at Leah and stormed out of the room.

As seeing Leah still standing there, the teacher probed, "Leah? Do _you_ have a problem?"

She looked down at her hands, fidgeting nervously as Amanda often did and then slowly nodded as she approached his desk. "It's...um..." she looked up at him. "It's about this project. I...I..." She sighed and then blurted out. "I can't do it!"

"Of course you can," Mr. Avery said confidently. "You're a very bright girl. One of the brightest in class. What is it about this project that's giving you such trouble?"

She hesitated as she reflected back on the day the assignment had been given.

 **Wednesday, February 5, 1997, 4:30PM**

 _Settling at one of the tables with her friends in the public library, Leah opened her science book and said confidently, "This should be a snap. We already learned about dominant and recessive genes in the plant world and how that can make flowers be different colors. Mr. Avery said that it's not much different with people, that they determine if you have blue eyes or brown, blond hair or-"_

 _Danny Evans rolled his eyes and said, "Come one, Leah. You're starting to sound like Mr. Avery. Are you turning into an egghead or something?"_

 _"I just think science is interesting. What's wrong with that? And you know something, you didn't seem to mind when I was tutoring you a month ago so you wouldn't fail our last test."_

 _"Okay, come on," Deidre interjected trying to be the peacemaker. She then turned to Danny and said, "We don't have to do this together, you know. It's not a group project anyway. I think it was really nice of Leah to offer to help everyone get started."_

 _"Yeah, yeah," Danny grumbled._

 _"So, where_ _ **do**_ _we start," Chris asked._

 _"It's simple," Leah explained. "Mr. Avery said it's as easy as looking at your family history. You know how people always tell you that you look like your dad?" Chris nodded. "Well, there you go. You inherited a lot of genes from your dad, but you're not identical to your dad. Now, all you have to do is backtrack the rest of your family to figure out how many other people in your family have the same looks, what features are the same as your dad's and what are the same as your mom's. Like this," She dug into her purse, extracted a family photo of her, her parents and her younger siblings, and showed it to him. "Look, my little brother, Matt, he got everything from my dad and looks just like him. Jennie had mom's dark-colored hair and eyes, but her hair is straight and fine like Dad's, and Emily has Mom's thick curly brown hair and dad's lighter-colored eyes."_

 _"So, what about you," Chris asked. "You don't look like any of them at all."_

 _"That's not true," Leah said defensively as she tossed back her mane of long, curly, blond hair. "I have my dad's eyes...and his dimples." She smiled to display her dimpled cheeks._

 _"But that's it," Danny argued as he'd been reading from their science book while she spoke. "And even though your dad's got lighter colored hair, it's still brown and..." He tapped the book in front of him, "...this says that it's next to impossible for two brown-haired parents to have a blonde child because brown hair is a dominant trait which means that neither of them may even carry the gene for blond hair."_

 _"But it's not totally impossible! Besides, hazel eyes are a recessive trait too, but I've got those, don't I?" she countered._

 _"I don't know. Maybe you're just adopted or something," Danny teased._

 _"Yeah," Chris joined in Danny's teasing. "Maybe you don't belong to your family at all. That would explain why there's such an age difference between you and your brothers and sisters."_

 _"I am NOT adopted and I do too belong to my family!" she fired back hotly and slammed her book shut feeling heat rising in her face at letting them know they'd struck a nerve._

 _"Come on, think about it, Lee," Danny said. "You're fourteen and the twins are nine and Emily's only seven._

 _"Em's almost eight-"_

 _"Plus, don't you have two brothers in college that are a lot older?"Chris questioned._

 _"That's different," Leah explained as she tried to calm herself. "They have a different dad. My mom was married to someone else before she married my dad."_

 _"So, maybe your mom's just a slut and your dad isn't really your dad," Danny added with a grin._

 _Leah rose from her seat angrily and shouted, "You take that back!" At the raising of her voice, they were loudly shushed by the librarian. Leah looked sheepishly at the librarian and said, "Sorry."_

 _"Maybe we should just get back to work," Deidre suggested._

 _"Yeah," Leah said softly as she sat back down and re-opened her science book, but her eyes kept drifting back to the photo and she had to admit that the boys were right. Other than her hazel eyes and her dimples, she in no way resembled the rest of her family._

 _They worked in virtual silence for another hour until Amanda entered the library and said, cheerfully, "Hey, kids. Whatcha' working on?"_

 _"It's a gen-" Chris began but was silenced by Leah giving him a reproachful look. "It's...uh...just science homework."_

"Leah?" Mr. Avery said questioningly. "What's going on? Why do you think you can't do this project? You did so well with the one we did on plants, even using specific examples from your grandmother's flower garden. I thought this would be a breeze for you."

"Well, it's not," she snapped. At seeing the stern look on her favorite teacher's face, her tone changed again to one of nervousness. "If I...I...uh...If I tell you, you promise you won't say anything?"

"Oh course, Leah," he replied gently, "And I wanna' help you with whatever trouble you're having, especially since your assignment's due on Wednesday."

"I...uh...I think I might need more time than that," she stated. "You see, it's hard because my mom...she's...um...she's not really my mom. I mean, she's a great mom and all, but my real mom died when I was little and I...uh...I don't really remember a lot about her."

Mr. Avery nodded. "I understand." He took a deep breath. "Leah, you're not alone. You aren't the only student with a problem of this type. There are some with single moms who don't even know who their dads are. Just do the best you can with what you know. Why don't you try talking to your dad about it? I'm sure he can help you fill in some of the pieces about your mom."

"Uh-uh," Leah shook her head. "He doesn't like to talk about my mom. He clams up every time I ask questions about her."

"Maybe it's painful for him to talk about since she passed away," Mr. Avery suggested.

Leah shook her head again. "I don't think that's it. I sometimes think that he just didn't like my mom all that much."

"Leah, I'm sure that's not true. He had to have liked her at some point, otherwise you wouldn't be here, right?"

"I guess," Leah replied with a shrug.

"Like I said, just do the best you can. If your dad doesn't want to talk about it, do you maybe have a family member or maybe a friend of your mom's you could ask?"

"Maybe," she said thoughtfully. "Thanks, Mr. Avery."

"Anytime, Leah," He replied with a smile, but with a bit of worry crossing his features for one of his best students watching her sadly as she exited his classroom.

As she entered the girls' locker room, she violently flung her backpack off her shoulder and onto the floor, her purse along with it then after a few minutes of fumbling with the combination lock, yanked her locker door open just as violently. She took her pom-poms from their hook just inside the locker and thought about just how much of her life was a lie. She had this reputation at school for being cute, popular and bubbly and at home for being the perfect, dutiful daughter and role model to her younger siblings, but all the while, she was screaming inside.

"Not today," she said aloud and flung the pom-poms back into her locker, not even bothering to hang them up again, slammed the door closed, picked up her purse and backpack and stormed out of the locker room. She hurried out of the building, past the football field where her teammates had already begun stretching to prepare for their practice and kept right on walking until she reached the metro bus stop. She knew she needed answers and she knew the one place that she could go to get them.

While she waited for the bus, she plucked the cell phone that her parents had given her for her birthday in October from her purse and dialed a familiar number. "Stupid answering machine," she grumbled in frustration, but decided to leave a message. "Aunt Francine, it's me, Leah. I'm coming to see you. I need to talk to you about something important."

She put her phone away and dug into her wallet for money just as the bus stopped at the curb. She climbed aboard, paid her fare and took a seat. As she was putting her wallet away, her eyes fell on a faded photo her mind drifting back to one of the few clear memories she had of her mother.

 **June 14, 1987, 9:00PM**

 _"Mommeee," A frightened Leah squealed clinging to her mother as the plane bounced and rocked._

 _"Shh, Sweetie, It's okay," Candice whispered in a consoling tone to ease her fear. "It's just a bit of turbulence. It'll go away soon." Leah had held onto her mother until it went away and the plane stopped shaking._

 _She then cautiously raised her head and looked up at her mom. "Is it ober?"_

 _"Over," Candice corrected her, "And yes, it is."_

 _"Good," Leah replied with a firm nod but still looked a little wary._

 _"You know what?" Candice said with a bright smile. "We're going to be landing soon and then you'll finally get to meet your Auntie Francine and your daddy."_

 _"Yay!" Leah whooped happily, her fear gone._

 _She pulled a photo from her purse and showed it to her daughter. "Remember this?"_

 _Leah nodded with a gleeful smile as she pointed to the faces in the photograph. "Auntie Francine is you best friend and that's my daddy,"_

 _"Sure is," Candice said with a hint of sadness in her voice._

 _"Why you so sad, Mommy?' Leah questioned._

 _"I'm not, not really. I just miss your daddy, but we'll see him soon and everything will be okay again when we don't have to keep running from the mean men anymore."_

 _"And Auntie Francine...Don' forget her."_

 _"It's don'T, with a "T," and how could I forget my best friend?"_

Yeah, how, Leah thought as the bus arrived at its destination. Aunt Francine never talked about her mom either and she had just begun to wonder why since this science project had started. A wave of guilt crashed over her at the way she'd spoken to her own best friend. She knew that Dee hadn't taken any offense to it. It was just not in her nature to get ruffled. That's why they were the perfect pair of friends. She was the excitable one while Dee was the calming influence and the eternal optimist and peacemaker. Her parents joked that she ought to have a career as a diplomat some day.

As she gathered up her things and stepped off the bus, she couldn't help pausing and taking one last glance at the photo at the three smiling faces in it, her father, clearly much younger had his arm draped around the two blonde women as they shared a laugh about something she knew nothing about. At one point, they'd all been happy, so why the silence now? She put the photo back in her wallet, hoisted her backpack higher on her shoulder and marched resolutely the remaining two blocks needed to get her answers.


	21. Chapter 21

"Have a seat you two," Dr. Smyth said once Billy had re-entered the room and sat behind his desk staring the two of them down.

As they took their usual seats, Lee glowered at Dr. Smyth while Amanda studied her husband curiously. A _-ha,_ she thought triumphantly, realization dawning on her, amusement at his look turning up the corners of her mouth slightly. If Lee were looking at Dr. Smyth with murder in his eyes like that, that could only mean that must her husband's early morning meeting had to have been with him. She stifled a chuckle of relief over how worked up she'd been getting over Lee's behavior when now it was obvious, at least to her, what was going on. Smyth had him on some top-secret undercover assignment that only the two of them knew about.

"Something you find amusing, Mrs. Stetson," Dr. Smyth asked with an amused look of his own. He looked briefly at Lee, wondering if, as he suspected, he'd been unable to keep up his charade with his very astute wife and if that was what had led to the petition for divorce that was now being circulated around the office. He supposed that would make it more convincing, for the relentlessly loyal Mrs. Scarecrow to see it in black and white. He only wondered what her male counterpart would do next to keep her out of the fray. He'd known even before their impromptu meeting this morning that he'd have trouble in this office keeping the cover a cover. He turned his attention back to Amanda and wondered by the look on her face, just how much she'd already figured out and how well she'd be able to play along. That she was talented, he had no doubt, and she was one that he could almost always count on to abide by the rulebook and encourage her wayward partner to do the same, but when matters of the heart were concerned, he knew the rulebook was often thrown out the window.

Amanda found herself to be unnerved a bit by Dr. Smyth's Cheshire Cat-like grin and stammered, "N-no, S-sir." She glanced sideways at Lee who was still shooting daggers at Smyth with his eyes and then back to Dr. Smyth who was still looking from one to the other, his facial expression never changing. She only wished she knew what he was thinking. She was now more convinced than ever that he was responsible for Lee's bizarre behavior, but still wondered why he was grinning the way that he was. She was sure though that Lee's continual glaring was because Smyth had forced his hand by some means to take on whatever secret mission that had caused him to resume his old facade of the devil-may-care Scarecrow. She'd known early on in their partnership that that had been all it ever was, a facade. The Scarecrow persona was a mask Lee had put on to keep himself distanced from people as a way of avoiding attachments, thereby avoiding the chance of experiencing more loss.

"It seems the two of you have once again become the hottest topic of gossip around the office water cooler," Smyth said.

 _That's exactly what you wanted, you son of a bitch,_ Lee thought, but outwardly he just shrugged and replied noncommittally, "It'll blow over just like it always does. People are just gonna' have to get used to the idea."

"Oh, I'm sure it will once the grapevine finds something hotter to take its place, such as when our resident Lolita was responsible for your bosom buddy, Fred Fielder's marriage breaking up."

Lee rolled his eyes while Amanda snorted in disdain, Billy then turning a judgmental look to Dr. Smyth questioned, "Surely, you don't condone this type of behavior in the office," with a horrified look on his face. He was deeply worried about his favorite pair of agents. More than that, he was concerned for his friends, both of them, as well as for their children. Billy held up a copy of the divorce papers that had been passed around the bullpen and turned to Lee. "Do you care to explain this?"

Lee shrugged. "You've obviously read it. I think it's pretty self-explanatory."

During this interaction, Amanda's thoughts kept drifting though her eyes never left the Director of Covert Operations. She knew that something had happened this morning between him and Lee; that his early morning meeting that had caused him to sneak out of their bed had to have been with him because the last time they'd seen Smyth had been on Friday and there'd been no hateful looks being passed from Lee to Smyth then.

 **February 7, 1997, 9:00AM**

 _Lee and Amanda were in their shared office in a position they'd found themselves in many times over the years, Amanda typing furiously on the computer while Lee was pouring them each a cup of coffee from the pot on the shelf behind the desk. He turned to place one in front of her after adding her desired amount of sugar to it, and then turned back to doctor his own with cream._

 _"Thank you, Sweetheart," Amanda replied, her eyes firmly fixed to the computer monitor as she worked. She paused in her typing to take a sip as Lee turned back toward her to see what she was doing while he sipped at his own coffee._

 _"You getting anything yet?"_

 _Amanda sighed in frustration. "Brick wall after brick wall. I don't get it, every time that I think I'm getting somewhere. I get a door slammed in my face."_

 _"Ah," Lee said and then looked at her in concern as he recalled the literal door-slamming going on in their home last night. "Are you sure you're talking about work and not the kids?"_

 _She looked at him for a moment, and then back at the monitor, "No..., I mean, yes. Yes, I mean work." She began typing again trying to keep her mind focused on work and not her concern for their wayward children._

 _"Amanda," Lee began in that knowing tone that he used when he knew she was being less than truthful in an attempt to hide how worried or scared she was. He put down his coffee cup, placed his hands on her shoulders, and began to gently massage the kinks out of her tense muscles._

 _"Mmm," Amanda sighed at her husband's touch, marveling at how he always seemed to know what she needed when she needed it, even after nearly ten years of marriage. She ceased her typing and just leaned back into his talented hands enjoying the moment. The stress of the current case and the drama of their home life had definitely been taking its toll. "Feels good," she murmured low._

 _"Good," Lee whispered in her ear as he leaned in and brushed his lips lightly against the tender skin of her neck._

 _She swiveled in the desk chair and planted a soft kiss to his lips. "Thank you," she replied as she looked up at him and laid her hand on his face, her love for him glowing in her eyes._

 _"I love you," he said softly as he knelt before her, took her hand from his face, planted a soft kiss to her palm then took both of her hands in his and lightly grazed her lips with his own._

" _I love you too," Amanda replied as she leaned her weary head against his and let out another sigh._

" _Hey, cheer up. We'll figure this out," He said with a look that told her he meant not only the case, but whatever was going on with their children. "I have no doubt that together we can do anything we set our minds to." Amanda nodded and chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip looking down at their joined hands. "Hey." Lee released one of her hands and tipped her chin up to face him. "Almost ten years, Amanda and our marriage has weathered worse storms than this…hasn't it?"_

" _Yeah, it has," Amanda agreed, but still looked doubtful._

" _Look at it this way," He suggested. "We have this weekend and all next week to get this," He nodded toward the case file on his desk, "and the trouble with the kids solved before we go hide ourselves away for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary." He brushed his lips against hers again and then said, "And I think we could both use some serious celebrating." His smiled impishly at her._

 _At seeing his dimpled grin and the suggestive look in his eyes, she couldn't help smiling. "You know what I could_ _ **really**_ _use?"_

" _I'm listening," Lee said, his grin widening at her tone._

" _As am I," Dr. Smyth chimed in from the doorway. "What is it that you could use?"_

 _The couple quickly pulled apart and Amanda stammered, "I…Um…I need to get someone on this thing," she gestured to the PC, "with a-a higher security clearance than me. Every time that I start to get somewhere, I run across an encrypted file that my clearance won't allow me to access."_

" _Ahh," Dr. Smyth said, filing in amusement. "Perhaps this will help." He held up a file in his hand and then dropped it on the desk. "This came directly from the Pentagon. More 411 on our escapee and I don't mind telling you that I had to sweat bullets on Capitol Hill to get it. The boys in uniform guard their secrets almost as well as we do."_

" _I don't understand that, Sir," Amanda replied. "They're the ones who wanted they agency involved in this case to begin with. I mean, I thought it was unusual myself. With anything involving any branch of the military, they usually have a fit about us "pencil-pushers" getting anywhere near it."_

 _"She has a point," Lee added. "They brass at the Pentagon usually wants us to stay as far away as possible. So why DID they want the agency on this one?"_

" _They didn't. They wanted you two specifically since you've both had experience with cases involving the military, hence the sweating bullets. I had to make certain assurances that this would be handled delicately and not be trotted out as an interagency memo or, God forbid, to the paparazzi."_

 _Amanda flipped open the folder and began perusing its contents, "Well, this gives me a better starting place. Thank you, Sir."_

" _I can't have the sterling reputation of the agency's best tarnished, now, can I?" He gave them a curt nod. "Have fun, Kiddies." He then exited the room._

"I don't believe that," Billy said to Lee. "So, you're seriously expecting me to believe that you're going to let Amie do to your marriage what she did to Fred's?"

"Billy, I already told you how I feel. Now, if you don't mind," He rose, glanced briefly at Amanda, "One of us has to leave to go pick up Leah from her cheerleading practice and since she's MY daughter…" Without another word, he left the office before his strength could desert him. He'd seen the wheels turning in Amanda's head and knew that his cover story wouldn't hold water with her if they stayed in the same room for much longer, particularly after he'd so openly shown his feelings regarding her being seen with Joe.

"Excuse me, Sir," Amanda piped up. "I don't mean any disrespect, but while Amie was involved in all that, Fred destroyed his own marriage by cheating on his wife with _her_." She glanced briefly at Lee through the window striding at a fast clip through the bullpen and then back at her boss. His dig about Leah being HIS daughter hadn't gone unnoticed and she tried to shake it off, but with Leah having reminded her bluntly that she was not her mother and even though she suspected that it was all part of some elaborate cover, it still stung. She shook her head and continued. "Now, I know that Lee and I are having some problems, but I don't believe they're so severe that they can't be worked out., not with all that we've been through together in fourteen years."

"Just be sure that you work them out outside of this office," Dr. Smyth said coolly, his smile now gone. He knew very well that once they were at Station One, there would be no opportunity for her to corner her husband without blowing her own cover with the trainees.

Billy shook his head. "Amanda, are you sure about this? I mean, Lee…He seems pretty serious." He held the papers up again and said, "I mean, look at this. This is his signature on these. I've seen it enough times on his reports to know that it's the real thing."

"I know it's his signatu-"Amanda paused and looked down at the file in her hands and said softly, "Signature. That's it!" She began flipping through the pages of the file that she had yet to show her boss. Her mind began whirling as she studied the bank documents and the almost-familiar scrawl on them that had caught her eye two days ago. She knew she'd seen it somewhere in the office before but until now hadn't put her finger on where as the name itself was illegible.

"What is it?" Billy looked at Amanda in confusion. When she didn't answer, he tried again. "Amanda?"

Amanda perked up, abruptly rose from her seat and said, "I'm sorry, Sir. I just remembered something that I have to do before we leave for Station One tomorrow." She then quickly exited the room, making a beeline for Francine's desk and the recruit files she'd seen atop it earlier, only to be halted by the sight of Amie and her son chatting as Phillip signed off on the necessary paperwork to complete his entry into the training program. She cleared her throat loudly. "Excuse me, Amie; I'd like a word with my son, if you don't mind."

"We were done here anyway," Amie replied as she took Phillip's paperwork from him. "Kinda like you and Lee, huh?"

"That remains to be seen," Amanda retorted coolly, feeling much more confident now that she was starting to fill in some pieces. "May I?" She gestured to the paperwork in Amie's hands.

"Why? What's it to you?" She clutched the paperwork tighter.

"Come on, he IS my son, after all."

"Fine, whatever," Amie thrust the papers at her. "Just make sure you have them back on my desk by the end of the day." She then smiled vindictively. "I'll just go see if I can find your soon-to-be ex-husband. You seem to be piling them up, don't you?" She sauntered off leaving Amanda breathing a sigh of relief.

"Mom, what did you want to talk to me about?" Phillip questioned.

Amanda, disregarding her son for a moment, hurried to a nearby empty desk, opened her file and flipped through its pages until she found what she was looking for. She then looked from it to the other paperwork mentally comparing the two.

"Mom," Phillip approached her. "Hello?"

"Bingo!" Amanda whooped victoriously.

"Mom!" Phillip said more insistently.

"Sorry, Sweetheart," Amanda apologized. "I'm just distracted because I think I may have gotten the break I needed in this case."

"Forget the case for a minute," Phillip replied tersely. "I wanna' know what the hell is going on with you and Lee."

Alone again in Billy's office, the two men looked at one another, Smyth wandering to the window and watching Amanda at work while he lit another cigarette, puffing on it slowly. "She's quite the worker bee, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is," Billy said proudly.

Smyth turned back to Billy and shook his head. "Now, back to what we were discussing before the hullaballoo began…"

Billy sighed. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" he asked warily.

"I've never been more certain of anything," Smyth replied taking a long, slow drag from his cigarette as he turned back to the window. He let out a deep sigh himself. "Whatever the outcome of this new assignment for Scarecrow and Mrs. King, it'll be the last one I ever give the two of them together."

Billy nodded, understanding Smyth's reasoning, but couldn't help a wave of sadness that washed over him. It was the end of an era.


	22. Chapter 22

Francine parked her car in the driveway of the townhouse that she and her husband of almost nine years shared, walked to the backseat of her car, and plucked a bag of groceries out of it while her five-year-old daughter flung herself out of the car and raced up the driveway with an excited cry of, "Leelee!"

 _Great,_ she thought, figuring that if Leah was there, that must mean that Amanda had picked her up from her cheerleading practice and instead of going home, had made a detour. She sighed. She knew Amanda would probably need someone to talk to after that bitch, Amie, had broadcast the evidence of her marital discord all over the agency. She'd just been hoping for a bit of a reprieve from the stress of the day before that happened. As she closed the door of her car, balancing the bag in one arm while she sought out her house key on the ring still in her hand, she caught a glimpse at her watch out of the corner of her eye, and then shook her head. It was too early for Leah to be done with cheerleading practice.

 _Uh-oh,_ was her next thought. She let out another sigh and trudged slowly up her driveway where Stephanie had flung herself at Leah who sat on the front steps looking glum. She watched as she hugged her daughter with a "Hey, Stephie," but couldn't help noticing that she lacked the enthusiasm she normally showed when they were together. Over the years, Leah had acted as sort of a surrogate big sister to Stephanie. She steeled herself for what was to come and greeted her with a smile, "Hi, Leah. What brings you here?" She then stepped past the two girls to unlock the front door. "Aren't you supposed to be at your practice?"

As she opened the door, Stephanie tugged on Leah's hand to urge her up and said excitedly, "Come on, Leelee! I got a new doll!"

The three entered the lavish townhouse and Francine said, "Steph, you can show her your new doll later. Let's get you your afternoon snack first." She nodded toward the bag in her arms and pointed the direction of the kitchen, walking that way herself. As she set the bag down and began to unpack the groceries, she asked Leah again, "So, what brings you here," determined to get to the bottom of her surrogate niece's impromptu visit interrupting her daughter's chatter about how pretty hew new doll was. She couldn't help noticing how she was fiddling with her hands as Amanda often did, but then shifted to looking down and twirling her hair around her fingers nervously the way that Candice had when she was uncomfortable. She marveled sometimes at how Leah seemed to have developed a personality that was a cross between the mother she'd lost and the mother who'd raised her since she was four, displaying little quirks from both.

She watched for a moment longer and after finishing with her chore and settling Stephanie at the table with a snack of cookies and milk, offering the same to Leah, who declined, she more forcefully said, "Come on, Leah, out with it!" She wondered if the morose look on her face was because she'd already heard about Lee and Amanda splitting up and needed someone to talk to about it. If that were the case, she hoped she'd be able to keep her cool because she was so angry with Lee right now that she was ready to use him for target practice.

Leah finally looked up at Francine, flooring her with her answer, "I wanna' know about my real mom!" she blurted out.

 _Oh, shit,_ Francine thought. What the hell was she going to tell her? She heaved a deep sigh as her mind drifted back to the day she'd found out that her former best friend and trusted partner was not who she thought she was.

 **December 28, 1987, 10:00PM**

 _Francine sat alone at the dispatch desk idly flipping through a bridal magazine as she mentally discarded dresses that were not her style. She'd volunteered to cover the dispatch desk for a couple of hours to avoid being at home alone while Jonathan was out on a stakeout with Lee. She'd never admit it to anyone, but since they'd officially moved in together in June, she'd become accustomed to having someone to come home to and vice versa and found it increasingly difficult to be home alone. She'd also never admit that she worried endlessly about him when he was out on field assignments. While he'd proven he could handle himself, especially after the incident with Brody, he was still not a trained agent and she didn't want to see him getting hurt, not when they'd finally moved on from their rocky past and were moving toward building a new life together. So when Fred had asked her to cover for him for a couple of hours, she'd eagerly agreed so she could be there if Lee or Jonathan called needing backup should their stakeout turned into a showdown and was trying to distract herself from her worry by looking for wedding ideas._

 _As her eyes fell on a gown reminiscent of the one she'd bought for her thwarted wedding to Jonathan, she felt a sharp stab of pain cut through her as she recalled how she and Candice had spent two solid days scouring bridal shops for the perfect dress. It had been six months since Candice's death and the more she got involved in planning her wedding, the more her memories of her friend haunted her. Candice was supposed to be her maid of honor the first time around and now... She tried to shake off that thought; after all, she had Amanda who'd been more than helpful. She had to admit though that she'd been feeling a bit guilty for asking Amanda to be her matron of honor when Candice had seen her as public enemy number one largely due to finding out that her dream of having the perfect family life with Lee would not come true. She recalled vividly that Candice had placed the blame solely on Amanda for quashing that fantasy and refused to acknowledge that Lee had never lover her to begin with._

 _She shook her head, wondering if she'd even be feeling that way if Candice were still alive. Would she have asked Amanda at all? Or would she have stuck to the original plan to have Candice by her side on the day that she finally said "I do" to the only man that she'd ever truly given her heart to? She had to wonder because the Candice who'd shown up on her doorstep, while she was still the same old Candice in many ways, was also different in others. She'd developed an obsession with making her dream of being with Lee a reality and hadn't cared that she was trying to break up a family to do it. Had she, herself, been blind all along to her friend's psychosis in the time they'd known each other or had it been something that she'd developed over the five years of running for her life and dreaming of the family life she so desperately craved? "Stop it, Desmond," she said aloud. "That kind of thinking will only make you crazy." She sighed. "Talk about crazy. I'm talking to myself." She was immensely grateful that the room was empty or she knew she'd be teased endlessly for it._

 _She decided that she had to do something to remind herself of the good things that Candice had done in her life. Picking up the mobile satellite phone in the event that someone called, she made her way out into the corridor and toward the external elevator to lead her to the Q Bureau. Once there, she set the phone down on Amanda's desk and marched resolutely to the vault. She found first the Carrerra-Mattson file and couldn't helps smiling that, even after her death, it was Candice's in-depth investigation that had led to exposing a crooked congressman with the help of her fiancé' interpreting her deductions correctly. Putting that file away, she rooted through the vault for another, soon finding the Filipov-Kaminski file._

 _"This was a good one," she mused with a smile. She remembered how brilliant Lee has said that Candice was at her questioning of Kaminski after he'd tortured Filipov nearly to death. Of course, the stuffy review board hadn't seen it that way since Candice had been accused of overdosing Kaminski on PT-285. There were questions about it and about how Lee had ended up in a skid row alley a few days later when they were supposed to be wrapping up their case and returning from New York to DC, but then again not one person on the board had ever worked a single day in the field. There were all about facts and figures and didn't understand that no matter how carefully you planned, sometimes the bad guys just got a jump on you when you least expected it._

 _"Wait a minute!" she said aloud as she remembered her argument with Amanda a few months ago over Amanda having pages from Candice's personnel file, pages that she didn't have clearance to view. She remembered vividly their heated discussion about it and how Amanda had stormed off, pages in hand. She'd written it off at the time as Amanda just looking for some dirt to dig up on Candice because she'd tried her damndest to break up her marriage to Lee, but now she wondered if there weren't something more to it. After all, the mystery of how Lee had ended up in that alley had never been solved. The investigative team had just surmised based on Candice's testimony that they hadn't caught all of Kaminski's crew._

 _She walked to the computer, scanned her keycard and began typing; looking for the same reprimand that Amanda had printed copies of that day. Upon finding it and reading the transcript of her testimony defending herself, she realized that there were more holes in Candice's story than a kitchen colander. How could Kaminski have lied about who he was working with under the influence of PT-285 when it was designed for use as a truth agent and was still used today as it was the best available for loosening tight lips?_

 _A horrible thought struck her as she began to put the pieces together in her mind. She recalled Lee's insistence at first that he couldn't be Leah's father because he'd prided himself on never being reckless. Having once been in a relationship of sorts with him, she knew that to be true. He was beyond cautious in those days because he didn't want any attachments. Combine that with Amanda's secretiveness about what she was doing with that file, and Candice's assertion after her drunken appearance at Lee's birthday party that Amanda was trying to steal her child from her and her mind was painting a picture so ugly that it made Cinderella's stepsisters look like beauty queens._

 _Not wanting to know any more, or to confirm her suspicions, she turned off the computer and began pacing the length of the room. She shook her head firmly and said, "No, it's not possible. Candice wouldn't stoop that low," but then a nagging voice reminded her that she'd stooped as low as to sneak out of the hospital on a broken leg and had broken into Amanda's house in the middle of the night an attempt to steal her daughter away. She didn't understand what she could have been thinking then. What did she think she was going to do, hobble off with Leah while trying to dodge the traitors who were after her? How had she expected to accomplish that on a broken leg and with no home of her own? She'd been determined that if she couldn't have Lee, then Lee couldn't have Leah as she didn't want Amanda anywhere near her daughter. What other things had she done in her desperate attempt to cling to a man whom she knew no longer wanted her?_

 _She strode to Amanda's desk and picked up the phone, punching in Fred's number, but received no answer. "Damn!' She then picked it up and began dialing again, "Duffy, I need a favor." At the response she received, she replied, "No, that's the wrong answer!" she snapped, now a blazing ball of fury. "I don't care what you're in the middle of. You get your ass down here right now and cover dispatch until Fred gets back or those lovely pictures of you and Sascha Polanski are going straight to your wife!"_

 _After hanging up the phone, she began to compile all the pieces of the puzzle she was sure that Amanda had done six months before and put them together in one neat file all the while cursing and fuming. She recalled what Lee had said just a few days ago about Amanda not sleeping at night due to pregnancy-related discomfort. Armed with that knowledge and the knowledge that Lee would most likely be on his stakeout for hours, she formulated a plan to confront her about it._

 _"I don't believe this," She said with a shake of her head. She'd have thought that Amanda would have learned her lesson about keeping secrets from Lee six months ago when she hadn't told him right away about her pregnancy, but now it seemed that she was keeping yet another secret from him. She knew Lee well enough to know that if he'd known about this, he surely wouldn't have kept this from her, not knowing that Candice was her friend._

Back in the present, Francine shook off those nagging memories and covered her worried look with what she hoped was a warm smile to her best friend's daughter, draped a comforting arm across her shoulders and said, "Come on, Leah. Let's talk." She turned her attention to her own child for a moment. "Steph, Honey, you just finish your snack, okay? I need to talk to Leah for a minute."

"Okay, Mommy," Steph answered with a happy nod as she munched on her Fudge Stripes.

"That's my girl," Francine replied with a smile. She then led Leah into the living room and gestured to the sofa. As they sat together, she asked, "So, what is this all about?" She recalled Amanda in the office on Friday talking about how Leah had some problem that she wouldn't confide in her about, yet another trait of Candice's unwillingness to open up when she was hurting.

Leah was trying desperately to hold back the tears in her eyes."I want to know what my mother was like. I can hardly remember her anymore. It seems so far away, like I never had a real mother."

"Now hold on a minute, you have a real mother. You know that Amanda loves you with all her heart," Francine protested. "She wouldn't have signed the papers to adopt you all those years ago if she didn't."

Leah looked down and fidgeted with her hands again. "I know all that and I feel bad for being mean to her, but she's not really my mom. I want to know about my real mom."

 _That's what I was afraid of,_ Francine thought glumly. She stammered nervously, "Wh-what is it you want to know?"

Leah raised her head and gave Francine a piercing look that sent shivers up her spine because it was so reminiscent of Candice in the final days of her obsessive behavior toward Lee. "For starters, why does my dad act as if he hated her?"

 _Oh, shit,_ Francine thought. She'd known one day that Leah might have questions about her mother, but of all the questions that she thought Leah might ask; this was the one she had desperately hoped would never surface. As much as she'd thought about how to approach it, if the subject ever came up, she didn't have the first clue how to answer it.


	23. Chapter 23

Phillip looked at his mother with a determined look on his face that rivaled her own. "Well?" He demanded impatiently.

"Well what?" Amanda responded and looked away from her son as she tried to focus on the file in front of her, but she was finding it increasingly harder to concentrate.

"You know damn well what!" Phillip replied.

She turned her head back to Phillip and scolded, "Watch your language, Young Man!"

"Mom, don't change the subject and don't tell me to watch my language! I don't live under your roof anymore, so you no longer have the right to tell me what to do! I'm a grown-up and I make my own decisions now!" He gave her a pointed look, letting her know that that included his decision to move in with Sonja.

"Fine! Make your own decisions if you're so grown up," Amanda fired back as she rose from her seat taking her file with her. "Just don't come crying to me when Sonja tries to kill you in your sleep!" She shuddered a little at the thought that Phillip had even given Sonja the opportunity to do such a thing.

"Lay off Sonja, okay! That's between her and me! We're talking about you and Lee. Now, what's going on?" He crossed his arms and gave her the same probing look that she used to give him when he knew he was in trouble as a child.

"Nothing,' Amanda denied as she walked toward the copier with the documents from Phillip's recruitment file.

Phillip snatched up the copy of the divorce filing from the inbox of the empty desk that his mother had just vacated and followed her, thrusting the damning evidence of her denial in her face. "No? Then what's this all about?"

" _That..._ " she nodded toward the papers in her son's hand, and then turned back to the copier, "...is none of your business."

"Oh, but I suppose my relationship with Sonja is _yours_?" He fired back hotly.

"I'm your mother," Amanda replied. "I have a right to be concerned about you, especially knowing what I do about Sonja."

"Concerned, yes," Phillip acknowledged. "That's great. That's what makes you such a good mom, but you do NOT have the right to butt into my private life!"

"Oh, but you think you have the right to butt into mine?" she questioned as she turned back to him with an incredulous look on her face, and then turned to exit the bullpen, her son following closely behind her.

"That's different," Phillip argued. "Whatever's going on with you and Lee affects the whole family."

Amanda jabbed forcefully at the elevator button then whirled to face her eldest again, saying, "Let's get one thing straight here! I'm the mother and you're the child-"

"I'm not a child!" Phillip interjected.

"And it doesn't matter how old you are, I would still like to know what's going on in your life! The fact that you lied to us when you said you were going back to law school and that you've been hiding where you've been living for the past six weeks tells me that you know what you're doing is wrong!" She then stomped into the now-open elevator that led back upstairs.

"No, Mom! There's not a thing wrong with what I'm doing," Phillip argued as he stepped into the elevator as well. "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd freak out just like you're doing now! Sonja and I talked this all out on how we were going to break the news to you and Lee."

"Oh, you and Sonja, huh? Why can't you see that she's been carefully manipulating you all this time? That's her job!"

"No, Mom," he repeated. "It's not, not anymore! You heard what she said when you were at our place. Are you so blinded by hate that you can't see the truth?"

"You're the one who's blind, blinded by lo-" She broke off abruptly. "Oh, God, you're in love with her, aren't you?"

"I-I...Uh...I don't know. I just know that when I'm with her, I-" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I just know that no other woman has ever made me feel the way that she does."

Amanda gave him a disgusted look as the doors opened to the ground floor and she stepped out, but then turned back to Phillip. "I just hope to God you're being cautious." She then made a beeline for the stairs as Mrs. Marston shifted her attention to the newest brewing storm.

"Hurricane Amanda," the matron muttered as she tugged at her glasses and turned back to the magazine in front of her.

"Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Phillip demanded as he caught up to Amanda just as she reached the upper landing.

"You know exactly what it means," Amanda retorted. "I'm not exactly ready to be a grandmother yet." She then flung open the door to the corridor that led to her office. She cringed as she thought of it. She'd worried since his freshman year of college that as fast as he went through girlfriends, she'd one day have him come home to announce that he was going to be a father.

"Well, you don't have to worry about that," Phillip answered. "I'm not exactly ready to be a dad yet either. We're taking all the necessary precautions to keep that from happening, both of-" He stopped, gave her a challenging look and said, "You know what? It's none of your business!"

"Well, what's going on between me and Lee is none of yours." She unlocked the door to the Q Bureau, marched into the vault, retrieving another file, added it to the one in her hand and marched back out of the vault again shoving the door with all her might in her frustration.

"The hell it isn't!' Phillip shouted. "He's the only real dad I've ever known and he's acting as if he doesn't give a damn about you anymore!"

"Look, you just let me worry about that. You should be more worried about the manipulative siren that you've been sneaking around with! Now, if you don't mind, I've got work to do!"

"What work do you have to do?" Amie's sneering voice sounded from the direction of Lee's desk. "Billy gave you an order that all you're supposed to be working on is getting ready for Station One tomorrow and nothing else."

"Get the hell out of my office," Amanda spit caustically at Amie. _Speaking of manipulative sirens,_ she thought.

"I have it on good authority that this won't be your office for much longer," Amie replied knowingly. "Dr. Smyth has bent the rules for years to allow you and Lee to work together with the understanding that if it began to affect your job performance, he'd split you up in a heartbeat. I'd say the incident this weekend definitely qualifies. I mean, where were you when poor Lee was in that horrible car wreck? He needed back-up and you weren't there for him, most likely whoring around with your ex. I saw how close the two of you were today. Maybe Lee found out about the two of you and that's why he's ready to move on...with me."

"That's never gonna' happen," Amanda retorted.

Amie shrugged as if she could care less, leaned back in the chair, and crossed her long legs across the desk. "Well, either way, rumor has it that the two of you won't be partners for much longer since you can't keep your personal life out of the office. Why do you think Billy assigned _me_ to work with Lee at Station One instead of you? Lee and I proved years ago when you were too busy having babies to care about your job, that we can work quite well together."

" _Lee's_ babies," Amanda reminded her pointedly. As she stared the venomous home-wrecker down, Amanda's thought drifted back to another time that they'd had a confrontation similar to this one.

 **Monday, February 15th, 1988**

 _Amanda entered the Q Bureau on the first day back from her maternity leave and began rifling through her inbox in an attempt to catch up on what she'd missed out on while she was away when she was startled by a female voice coming from the vault._

 _"Those are mine," Amie stated assertively._

 _"Really?" Amanda fired back challengingly. "That's funny because this is MY inbox on MY desk in MY office."_

 _"Oh, so now it's_ _ **your**_ _office?" Amie questioned. "You coulda' fooled me. I was under the impression that the only "office" you were interested in was the one that includes teddy bears and teething rings."_

 _"I'm surprised you even know what a teething ring is," Amanda countered coolly._

 _"Just because I have no desire to ruin my body," she gestured to her voluptuous figure, "in order to tie myself to a man, that doesn't mean I don't know about these things. I've seen it a hundred times with pathetic women who give up their careers to answer the ticking of their biological clocks. It's sad, really."_

 _"There's nothing sad about being a mother. It's been one of the most fulfilling experiences of my life. You oughtta' try it yourself." She then smiled at her sweetly, but with venom in her eyes. "That is, if you could ever find a man of your own, instead of making your pathetic attempts to steal men away from other women." While she'd been away, Amanda had still heard about Fred Fielder's liaison with Amie._

 _"If they were really so committed, I wouldn't be able to steal them, would I?"_

 _"Which is why you'll never have Lee," Amanda pointed out. "Don't think I don't know about what you've been up to here while I've been gone. He told me everything."_

 _"Oh, I don't know," Amie replied, her voice dripping with innuendo. "We've developed quite the rapport since we've been working together. Are you sure he told you_ _ **everything**_ _?"_

 _"Everything," Amanda stated confidently. "Including how pathetic you were throwing yourself at him when he made it clear that he wasn't interested."_

" _You think so?" Amie challenged._

" _I know so," Amanda responded firmly. "He may have been working with you these past few weeks, but he spent all weekend with me in the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Where were you?" Amanda paused for dramatic effect. "Oh, that's right. You were shacked-up with your married lover, working on destroying his marriage while we were celebrating ours. Now, who's the sad one?" She smiled again. "You may think it's sad that I chose to take some time away from work to have babies, but I assure you that Lee doesn't. In fact, he's so in love with our children that he can't wait for us to have another one, something we spent ALL weekend working on."_

" _How sad for you," Amie replied with mock pity. "I mean, look at you." She made a disgusted face at Amanda's still-rounded figure._

" _You try giving birth to twins and see how great you look," Amanda fired back. "I can tell you though, that Lee didn't seem to mind a bit when we spent the entire weekend in bed. In fact, he said he loved the way I looked because it reminded him that I'd just given him two children, at once, no less. He loves being a father."_

" _I heard through the grapevine that you adopted his daughter, but he hasn't so much as made a move to do the same with your boys. It seems to me that you must love being a mother more than he loves being a father. Why else wouldn't he want to make it legal?"_

" _That's different," Amanda argued. "Phillip and Jamie have their own father, Leah's mother is dead, but I assure you, Lee loves them every bit as much as he does Leah, Matt and Jennie."_

" _Of course, he does," Amie replied in a mock-soothing tone._

Amanda shook off the memories and continued. "You know that I carried his babies inside me, so what does that tell you?" she challenged Amie.

"Oh, yes, I know, Dear," Amie replied scathingly. "But now that they're not babies anymore and not so cute and cuddly, he's not so in love with them, is he? Or you, for that matter."

"God, you're a bitch!" Phillip cut in.

"Phillip!' Amanda scolded.

"What's wrong with you, Mom?" Phillip stared at his mother incredulously. "Why aren't you defending yourself?"

"Because there's nothing to defend myself against," Amanda answered simply. She then turned on Amie again. "But you're going to have a whole lot to defend yourself against very soon," she threatened and spun around and exited the office.

Phillip darted after his mother. "What was that all about? Just what is going on around here?"

"Sorry, Phillip, but I have to go," she put him off as she made her way down the stairs and toward the elevator. "Why don't you come to dinner tonight and we can talk some more then. I still have some work-related stuff to talk to you about, okay?"

"Mom, no," Phillip argued as he followed her again. "We need to talk about this."

"I said later," Amanda answered as she opened the closet door.

"Damn it, Mom! Would you stop walking away from me? I want some answers!'

"Do NOT follow me in here!" Amanda snarled at her son and when he still made an attempt to follow her, she yanked the visitor's pass from his lapel, marched to Mrs. Marston's desk and dropped it in front of the older woman and then smiled sweetly at her," Mrs. Marston, would you please make sure that Mr. King leaves?"

"Mom!" Phillip protested.

"You don't work here yet and until you do, you have to be escorted through the building. Now, I'll see you at dinner." She then turned back to the elevator and disappeared.

The matron at the desk glared at him over the top of her glasses and stated bluntly, "You should be ashamed of yourself for speaking to your mother that way. Now, are you going to leave peacefully or do I have to call security to have you forcibly removed?"

"Fine!" Phillip said with a shake of his head. He was thoroughly confused by his mother's erratic behavior and by his stepfather's contradictory actions. One minute Lee was telling his mom to stay out of whatever case they were on because it was too dangerous, then the next acting as if he didn't care, followed by an insane fit of jealousy over his father, but then turning right around and telling his mom to sleep with whomever she wanted to. What kind of alternate dimension had he stepped into when he'd walked into this building? He stormed out giving Mrs. Marston one last cool look still fuming over Lee's treatment of his mother, wondering if he'd been wrong all these years in wanting to follow in his stepfather's footsteps.


	24. Chapter 24

"Aunt Francine," Leah said questioningly when Francine was silent for far too long.

 _Think, Francine, think,_ Francine thought frantically. _What to say? Tact, remember? Tact. You can do this._ After giving herself a mental pep talk, she finally sighed and answered,"Listen, Leah, that's a question that's best left for your dad to answer. You should probably ask him."

"A lot of good that would do," Leah grumbled while folding her arms stubbornly across her chest.

 _Breathe, breathe. Don't lose your cool. Resist the urge to slap that arrogant look off her pouty face. Think, what would Amanda do?_ "Well, have you ever asked him about it?"

Leah rolled her eyes and said, "No, but there's a reason for that. He wouldn't tell me the truth even if I did ask him."

"How do you know unless you ask him," Francine said pointedly.

"I just know," Lee answered evasively as she lowered her arms and looked away.

" _How_ do you know," Francine probed.

"I just do, okay?"

"Oh, no, little girl, Don't you play this game with me. I'm much better at it than you. I've interrogated some of the Eastern Bloc's best. Do you honestly think that I can't break a fourteen-year-old girl with a chip on her shoulder?"

"I don't have a chip on my shoulder," Leah turned back to her, her eyes flaring.

"Oh yes, you do and I know exactly what that look on your face means. I've seen it a hundred times on your mother's."

"Which one?" Leah teased as she tried to calm herself.

Francine couldn't help but laugh. "That one was all Candice," she replied. "But you know something?" She nodded down to Leah's hands that were nervously picking at her cuticles. "Some stuff you picked up from Amanda too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really," Francine reached to brush Leah's wild curls out of her face and reassured her, "Trust me, I've know your mom and dad for a long time. To be truthful, I've known both of them longer than I ever knew your real mom." She sighed as she thought of the loss of her friend, not only her death, but her sanity as well. She'd gone completely _Fatal Attraction_ at the end and it had led to her premature death. "But I still knew your mom pretty well." Seeing that Leah was not the least bit consoled, she asked, "So, seriously, Leah, level with me. Why do you think your dad wouldn't answer your questions if you asked him?"

"Well, I...uh...I came home after curfew the other night and I...I heard him them fighting about it."

 **Thursday, February 6, 1997**

 _After hearing Jamie shouting at her father to look after his own kids, Leah cringed a bit as she peeked out of her room and saw the pained look on Lee's face. She felt a tremendous wave of guilt for causing the same look on the face of the only mother she'd ever really known. She stood stewing about it for a moment and then decided that she needed to apologize to her mother. She cautiously approached her parents' bedroom and was about to knock, but paused when she heard the sounds of an argument._

 _"Oh, like you_ _ **know**_ _something's not right with Leah?" she heard her father shout in a sarcastic tone. "You just know everything, don't you?"_

 _She shuddered slightly as the argument escalated, her dad getting madder when her mom made a crack about raising two teenagers and heard him firing back that they'd raised them together._

 _"I'm sorry," she heard Amanda say contritely. "You know I didn't mean it that way."_

 _"Well, how the hell did you mean it?" Lee fired back clearly not being mollified by her attempt at an apology._

 _"Look, you're missing the point," Amanda raised her voice again. "And that is that there is something going on with Leah. She's acting-" Amanda's voice ceased abruptly._

They're fighting about me _, Leah thought glumly. She knew she should walk away and not eavesdrop on them, but at the same time, she wondered if she wouldn't learn something by listening. Maybe one of them would drop some clue about her mother, about where she came from._

 _"What, Amanda?" Lee's voice sounded again angrily. "She's acting like what?"_

 _"You know what? I don't wanna' do this! It's late and I just think we should go to bed and talk about this in the morning when we've both had some time to cool off."_

 _"Oh, no, you don't. You're not getting out of it that easily. Aren't you the one who's always saying that we shouldn't go to bed angry at each other? Now, come on, out with it!"_

 _"She's acting like Candice, okay! Are you happy now? It scares me to death because we both saw how nasty she got at the end. She was so determined to keep me away from Leah that it cost her her life or have you forgotten?"_

 _"No, I haven't forgotten! Of course, I haven't forgotten!"_

 _"Okay, well then maybe you've forgotten that she said she wished she could do something to take the twins away from me so that I wouldn't have any ties to you anymore!"_

 _"Was that before or after you tried to blackmail her?"_

 _"Lee, that's not fair! I already admitted that I made a mistake in doing that, but I only did it because I was trying to do what was best for Leah! The way her mother raised her-"_

 _"That's bullshit, Amanda, and you know it! You may have partially done it for Leah's benefit, but I think we both know that you got a lot of enjoyment out of getting one over on her!"_

 _"So what if I did? It doesn't matter! It still doesn't change the fact that she was twisted! That woman-" Amanda paused and said in a somewhat calmer tone. "When I think about what she did to you, it still makes me sick to this day, just like it did then. When I put all those pieces together, I admit that I wasn't thinking clearly. I just wanted to hurt her as much as she'd hurt us, as much as she'd hurt Leah. It was wrong and selfish and stupid, but none of that's the point here. The point is that I'm worried about Leah. What if..." There was a break in Amanda's voice before she continued in a softer tone, "What if Candice's insanity is hereditary? What if no matter how much we shower her with love and try to give her a normal life to make up for the horrors she experienced in her first four years... What if none of that's enough?"_

Horrors? _Leah questioned in her mind. What were they talking about?_

 _"Amanda, stop," Lee also said in a calmer tone. "You've been a great mom, not just to her, but to all of our children. I saw what an amazing mom you were the first time that I ever saw you interacting with the boys, your love, your patience, your giving heart... You know, it took me a while to admit it, but I wanted that for my own children."_

 _The voices fell silent and Leah poised herself to knock again until she heard the sound of a low moan from her dad and then the louder sound of something or someone hitting the door, followed by the noise made by the bed springs when a load of weight was dropped on it all at once._

 _"Gross," she said aloud and quickly jogged back to her own room. She hurriedly changed into her nightgown and crawled into her own bed, her thoughts whirling as she wondered what they'd been arguing about. What had her mother done to her father that Amanda found sickening? Why had her stepmother tried to blackmail her mother and what did she know about her that she could even use to blackmail her with? Had her mother really threatened to hurt the twins? She thought of Matt and Jennie and about how different her life would be if she weren't their big sister._

 _Leah thoughts turned to her science project and about how different traits were passed down from generation to generation and how it related to Amanda's comment about insanity being hereditary. Was it true? Was her mother insane? And if she were, would she herself inherit that insanity? Mr. Avery had said in class that not just physical attributes were passed on, but also unseen ones such as immune deficiencies, susceptibility to cancer, high blood pressure and heart disease, among other things. As much as she loved science, she was beginning to wish that Mr. Avery had never assigned this project to probe into her family history to look for repeated traits._

As Leah finished telling her story, Francine looked at her a little worriedly and questioned, "Did they...uh...did they say anything else?" She hoped for Leah's sake they had not. What Candice had done was bad enough, but it would be worse if Leah knew about it. She was an adult and she'd had a hard enough time dealing with it herself when she'd found out.

 **December 28, 1987, 11:30PM**

 _After spending an hour researching and putting together a completed file full of facts verifying her suspicions about Candice and after waiting for Duffy to arrive, Francine found herself on the front porch of Lee and Amanda's home with said file in hand and tapping her foot impatiently while she waited for the door to be answered. Waiting for Duffy and driving from Georgetown to Arlington, her anger had cooled from the raging inferno of a rapidly spreading forest fire to the slow burn of a Cub Scout campfire, but all that could change if she didn't get the answers she wanted._

 _She soon heard Dotty West's voice on the other side of the door saying, "I wonder who that could be this late," with just a hint of worry in her voice as she opened it. "Miss Desmond, is everything okay? Lee and Jonathan...they're not in any troub-"_

 _"Where's Amanda?" Francine demanded interrupting the older woman._

 _"She's in the living room, working on her New Year's Eve dress," Dotty answered as she opened the door to allow Francine entrance._

 _"Good," Francine replied tersely as she pushed her way past Amanda's mother and into the living room at a fast clip where she found Amanda kneeling in front of a dressmaker's mannequin that was covered in royal blue fabric. Amanda was pinning up the hem and so lost in her project that she hadn't noticed the ball of fury standing behind her._

 _"Amanda," Francine said loudly to get her attention._

 _Amanda turned her head and at seeing the look on Francine's face said, "Oh, my gosh. It's Lee. Something's happened to him." Using the nearby coffee table for support, she awkwardly pulled herself to her feet as she clutched her swollen abdomen with the other._

 _"Yes, something's happened to him," Francine replied icily as she dropped the file onto the coffee table, "Just not tonight."_

 _"I don't know what you mean," Amanda said with a confused shake of her head._

 _"Don't you dare play dumb with me! That doesn't work anymore! I know you too well now for you to play the I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about card."_

 _"Francine, I DON'T know what you're talking about," Amanda replied._

 _"It's all right there." Francine nodded to the file. Amanda struggled to bend toward the file, but Francine snatched it up. "Oh, here!" She thrust it at her angrily._

 _"Thanks, Francine. In the shape I'm in, it's hard to get down and even harder to get up once I'm down." She then tapped the file in her hand. "What is this?"_

 _"Take a look for yourself," Francine snapped as she crossed her arms. "I'm sure it will look familiar to you." Francine watched as Amanda opened the file and had barely skimmed one page before her eyes widened in shock. "So, you_ _ **do**_ _recognize it?" she said triumphantly._

 _"Yes," Amanda replied as she closed the folder and dropped it back onto the coffee table._

 _"How could you do something like this?" Francine shouted, her anger boiling over at Amanda's calmness about the situation._

 _"Me? I didn't do anything! That was all your friend's doing!" Amanda retorted as she began to get angry herself._

 _"I mean, keeping it from me! I trusted you. I thought we were friends! I defended you when Candice was trying to split you and Lee up, turned on my best friend in favor of you and you-you-! I just can't believe you! Haven't you learned anything about the danger of keeping secrets?"_

 _"Francine, if you'd just listen for a minute!" Amanda interjected. "Just give me a minute to explain!'_

 _"Explain? Explain, did you say? What possible explanation could there be for you keeping something this huge from me!"_

 _"Hey!" Dotty cried as she entered the room. "What's going on in here? You're going to wake the children."_

 _"You should have a talk with your daughter about honesty!" Francine snapped on Dotty. She then turned back to Amanda. "All that stuff Candice said about you trying to blackmail her, trying to force her to give Leah up to you, it was true, wasn't it?"_

 _"Francine, just stop a second and list-" Amanda halted abruptly, clutched her stomach with both hands, and let out a pained cry._

 _"Amanda?" her mother said in concern._

 _"Ow!" Amanda exclaimed as she doubled over in pain. "I need to get to the hospital."_

"Amanda?"" Francine said questioningly.

"Hospital, now," Amanda hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm in labor."

"I'll take her," Dotty said calmly. "That is, if you wouldn't mind staying here with the children, Miss Desmond. I don't want one of them waking up and not having anyone here and not knowing where we are."

 _"No, I'll take her," Francine argued with a shake of her head, her anger cooling somewhat as she saw the pain Amanda was in. "You should call Lee on his car phone and let him know what's going on." When Dotty nodded and went for the phone, she reached for Amanda, placed a bracing hand on her back to help her move toward the front door and help her into her coat in between contractions._

 _An hour later, after checking Amanda in to the hospital, she paced impatiently in the ER's waiting area, her thoughts whirling. She felt enormously guilty knowing that her anger might well have been the cause of Amanda going into premature labor, but also still irked by the secrets Amanda had kept. How could she have kept something like this from her and for that matter, from Lee? Her thoughts then shifted to Amanda's health and the lack of answers she was getting on her condition. She stomped toward the nurse's station, whipped out her badge and spat, "Listen, I'm a federal agent and so is the woman that I brought in. I demand to know what's going on here!"_

 _"That's exactly what I'd like to know," Lee's voice sounded behind her._

 _"Lee, thank God you're here," Francine breathed a sigh of relief and rushed toward him, but halted abruptly when she saw the stern look on his face and his tense posture as if poised for a fight._

 _"What'd you do to Amanda?" Lee questioned angrily._

 _"I didn't-"_

 _Lee held up a hand to stop her. "Don't, Francine. Dotty told me you were fighting with her just before she-" His jaw clenched as he glared at her. "So, what did you do?"_

 _"ME?" Francine fired back, her ire flaring again at his accusatory tone. "Maybe you should ask you wife what_ _ **she**_ _did?"_

 _"Amanda's been on maternity leave since Friday," Lee argued. "What could she possibly have done to you that had you showing up at our home in the middle of the night and attacking her?"_

 _"It's not something she did recently, it's about what she's been keeping secret for months, from both of us," Francine replied archly._

 _"Amanda and I don't keep secrets from each other anymore, not after what happened with Candice."_

 _Francine laughed dryly and muttered, "Candice." She shook her head. "That's what this whole thing has been about." She then looked up at him and asked, "So, you acknowledge now that Leah's your daughter, but did you ever figure out_ _ **how**_ _it happened. I mean, you were so sure at first that she couldn't be because you were always careful." At seeing Lee stiffen, realization dawned on her. "Oh, God, you DO know."_

 _Lee nodded slowly. "I wondered if some day you'd put the pieces together the way Amanda did."_

 _"So, all this time, you...you knew? You knew and you didn't say anything either?" She now found her fury turning on Lee. "How-how could you keep this from me? From ME? After all we've been through together. Candice was my friend! I-I-I-"_

 _"Which is exactly why we didn't tell you," Amanda said softly from behind her._

 _"Amanda," Lee breathed a sigh of relief, rushed to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Are you okay?"_

 _Amanda nodded. "I'm fine." She laid a hand on her stomach and continued, "It was just false labor. These two aren't quite ready to make their appearance in the world yet." She smiled weakly at him and then turned her attention to Francine and explained as she had tried to earlier, "We both love you, Francine, and we felt it was best if you didn't know what Candice had done. We know how much you loved her and we didn't want your good memories of her tainted-"_

 _"That wasn't your decision to make," Francine interrupted in a clipped tone._

 _"No, it was mine, Francine," Lee replied sternly. "I didn't want anyone else to know, not when I'm still not sure how to deal with it myself. I've been trying for months to get a handle on it, sessions with Pfaff, working on recovering my memories from that time. I-" He sighed. "Look, I don't really wanna' talk about it, okay? I'm trying-" He glanced at his wife, "_ _ **We're**_ _trying to put the past behind us and prepare for our future."_

 _"Of course," Francine said knowingly, "Your sessions with Pfaff. I...uh...I thought you were going to help you deal with having fatherhood thrust on you so suddenly, dealing with all the changes in your life..."_

 _"Listen, Francine..." Amanda began._

 _"Don't!"Francine snapped. "Just don't!" She then whipped around and exited the hospital leaving them staring after her._

Francine's thoughts were interrupted by Leah's pleading voice, "No, they didn't say anything else. I wish they had. Then I'd know why they don't talk about her. What are they hiding? Is it true that Mom tried to blackmail her?"

"Listen, Leah, I'll answer just about any questions you want to know about what kind of person your mom was when I knew her, but anything else, you're going to have to ask your parents about."


	25. Chapter 25

Author's note: So, taking just another tiny step backward in time to explore Lee's activities after leaving Billy's office as well as Amie's after leaving the bullpen. The flashback scene in this one is to outline Lee's version of events leading up to Amanda's arrival with Leah to take Lee out to lunch as mentioned in chapter 13.

After leaving Billy's office, Lee, knowing that he still had some time before Leah needed to be picked up from her cheerleading practice, took a detour before leaving the office. If Amanda had found Phillip, he had an idea how she'd done it. After a few minutes with Leatherneck and another few on the computer to gather the information that he needed, he was about to leave his office just as Amie walked in and nearly walked right into her.

"I was just looking for you," Amie purred suggestively as she laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry, Amie, man on a mission," Lee said as he attempted to move past her into the hallway.

"Not until tomorrow," she reminded him as she slid both arms up his chest and linked her hands behind his neck.

"Yeah, I know, but I've still got some things here in the office to wrap up before leaving tomorrow," He said in an apologetic tone, feigning disappointment.

"Too bad," she replied with a pout as she lowered her arms.

Still attempting to play his cover, he winked at her and said, "This shouldn't take too long. Maybe we can catch up later." He then scooted past her through the doorway.

"Count on it," she said gleefully as she watched him walk away. Once she heard his footsteps fading down the hall, she made her way to his desk and began typing furiously trying to figure out what his meek little wife was up to. "My, my, Amanda, you _have_ been busy." She then frowned as she came across a file that she couldn't open. "Damn! Password-protected!" She sighed. "Think, Amelia. Think like a goody-goody housewife. What would she use as a password?" She then proceeded to try all of the names of the children to no avail. While she abhorred children herself, she'd heard Amanda prattle enough about her children to know all of their names. "Now what?" Another thought occurred to her. "The ten-year anniversary thing is a big deal to her." She tried every combination she that could of the Stetsons' wedding date and anniversary date only to find that she was still locked out.

Sighing in frustration, she picked up the phone and began dialing and when it was answered, she said sweetly, "Hi, Mrs. D'Angelo. I need to put together a background profile on our ringer for tomorrow's round at Station One and it would help if I had her actual background profile as a starting point." She paused as she listened. "Oh, you already heard. Yes, Amanda Stetson. I'll need it as soon as possible."

While Amie was trying relentlessly to break into Amanda's files, Lee was driving back toward Georgetown University, his thoughts in turmoil at what he had to do and feeling repulsed at the memory of Amie's touch and even more so that he was going to be forced to pretend he enjoyed her attention after years of rebuffing her advances. How was he going to get through this and make it convincing when the mere thought of it made him sick to his stomach? He reflected back on the first time he'd told her to back off.

 **Monday, December 28, 1987, 12:15PM**

 _Lee sighed as he stared at the uncooperative computer screen, and then paused in his typing as he rolled his neck around to alleviate the stiffness that had set in after an hour or more of sitting there and getting no results on the newest case he was working on. He hated this part of the job and desperately wished that Amanda were here as she was so much better on the stupid contraption than he was. He ran a hand through his hair, and then began to knead his stiff neck muscles in an attempt to loosen the tension._

 _"Here, let me help," A female voice suggested next to him and before he knew what was happening her long fingers were massaging his muscles. It seemed innocent enough at first, but then when she whispered suggestively in his ear, "I can help you with anything else you need too," he bolted from his chair and glared at her._

 _"I don't need your help with_ _ **anything**_ _that's not related to work. You got me?"_

 _"But isn't that what a partner's for? To help each other out with whatever they might need help with?"_

 _"Let's get one thing straight right now; you're only here until Amanda comes back from maternity leave._ _ **She's**_ _my partner and always will be."_

 _Amie chuckled softly and replied, "Ooh, someone's bitter. Just because your partner went and got herself knocked up and left you holding the bag, don't take it out on me."_

 _Lee approached her menacingly and retorted, "Let me clarify something for you. Amanda didn't get herself knocked up. It takes two, you know."_

 _"Oho, I see what's going on here. I've heard all about you through the grapevine, you know, the eternal ladies' man. Is that what this is about? She's the one woman you couldn't land and now it just burns your ass that she's obviously been busy with someone else."_

 _It was his turn to laugh. "Well, Amie, maybe you should listen to your grapevine a little more closely," he suggested with an impish grin. He then reached around her and plucked a framed photo from his desk, thrusting it in her face. "You see this? This was taken at last year's New Year's Eve party at the Soviet Embassy. Amanda and I go to that party together every year and we will be again this year in just a few days, as a matter of fact."_

 _Amie scowled while she looked at the photo of the pair, clearly happy together and then shook it off with a nonchalant, "So what?" as she set it back down on the desk._

 _"I'm just saying that as a trained agent, especially one who's going to be responsible for training new agents, you should make sure you have your facts straight before making assumptions."_

 _"It's not an assumption that the two of you were arguing about her going on maternity leave last week," Amie pointed out. "We were_ _ **all**_ _in Billy's office and heard what was going on. It was obvious that you weren't too happy about having me assigned as your partner."_

 _"And getting less happy about it by the minute," Lee grumbled as he crossed his arms. "I_ _ **have**_ _a partner and I don't need another one, especially one like you!"_

 _"Oh, now, don't be that way. If you give me a chance, I think you'll find that I'll be the best partner you've ever had," Amie cooed as she sidled up to him again, running her hands up his closed arms, her leering look making it clear to him that she was interested in being more than just his work partner._

 _Lee backed up to get away from her, but had nowhere to go with the chair in his way so ended up backing up to a half-sitting position on the desk. "Do you see this?" He said pointedly as he held up his left hand, making his wedding band clearly visible. "This means that Amanda is my partner...for life! It doesn't matter that she's not here right now. She_ _ **is**_ _my partner, now and forever!"_

 _"Amanda?" she questioned._

 _"That's right," Lee sneered and then laughed sardonically. "So, it seems you didn't learn everything from the grapevine. I'm not the ladies' man that I once was."_

 _"Oh, I'd heard that you were married, but I just didn't realize it was to her, so her pregnancy-"_

 _"That's right!" Lee said victoriously. "The babies she's carrying are mine! That's why we were arguing. I wanted her to take her leave so that she could get some real rest. She hasn't been sleeping well at night because she's so uncomfortable. You add that to working and three kids at home and she has been getting more run down that she should be this close to her due date."_

 _"Well, if you ask me, that's her own fault that she's in that condition," Amie fired back. "She did it to herself."_

 _"No,_ _ **I**_ _did it to her," Lee gave her a challenging grin and a wink, his double meaning obvious to her._

 _Instead of being thwarted by Lee's response, she only persisted, shooting closer to him and sliding her hands up his thighs. "That's very sad for you then. She's in no condition to take care of your needs the way that a "partner" should, not that you'd even want her to the way that she looks. I mean, it's not as if you could get your arms around her, anyway."_

 _Lee removed Amie's hands from his thighs and pushed back forcefully on her shoulders causing her to fall back against the shelving unit behind the desk and retorted, "That's where you're wrong. Amanda knows exactly what I need when I need it. You obviously don't."_

 _"But I could if you gave me the chance," she replied in a lilting voice undeterred by Lee's protests as she approached him again._

 _"I said no," Lee snapped._

 _Lee again pushed at Amie just as he heard the patter of tiny footsteps coming down the hall and a cry of, "Daddy, daddy, daddy," followed by Amanda's motherly voice, saying, "Leah, Sweetie, slow down."_

 _He breathed a sigh of relief, leapt to his feet and said happily, "There's my two favorite girls." He then greeted Leah with, "Hey, my little princess," as he swept her into his arms, a bright smile on his face. In an effort to make his point to Amie, he reached for his wife, sliding one hand to caress her rounded stomach while he gave her a deep, romantic kiss, pouring all the love he held for her into it that kiss._

 _They were interrupted by a cry of protest from Leah and a snarky comment from Amie to which he rolled his eyes and glared at her. He thought back to what he'd said about Amanda always knowing what he needed and her timely arrival only reinforced that belief in his mind. She'd shown up just in time to keep him from knocking Amie flat on her ass._

His mind back in the present, he parked his car and consulted the campus map he'd printed out as he was now on a part of it that he was somewhat unfamiliar with having never had a need to be here as Jamie didn't have any classes here. He'd only been to this portion of the Georgetown's grounds once, years ago with Amanda. God, he needed Amanda. She'd know right where to go since she'd spent a lot of time here during the early years of her first marriage.

That thought filled him with a pang of dread wondering just what Amie had been talking about regarding Amanda and Joe. That thought had him once again pulling out the envelope he'd threatened Joe with. He pulled out the photograph inside to look at it once again. He gave a soft chuckle at the look on Joe's face of half-amusement, half-nervousness as an African woman clad in a grass skirt and only a large ornamental necklace covering her bosom leaned over him as she clasped his hands tightly. He knew the photo was much more innocent than it looked as she'd only been trying to convince to rise from his seat so that she could teach him their tribal dance at the behest of her husband, the Prime Minister of Estoccia, but the photo looked damning all the same by the position they were in. It had even created a tiny bit of a scandal in the underprivileged nation, being published in their local paper, until their leader had made it quite clear that he trusted Joseph King with his life.

He put the photo away and shook his head with a chuckle reminded of how once in England, Amanda had been the unwitting target of the paparazzi when she'd accidentally become embroiled in a sex scandal herself. He smiled at the memories of how angry she'd gotten with him when he'd told her how ridiculous he thought it was and then later how she'd explained to him why she didn't believe that Lady Bromfield was in love with her husband, the look she'd given him and the way she'd touched him then making it all too apparent that she knew what she was talking about. "God, why didn't I tell her that I loved her then?" He scolded himself. It would have been the perfect opportunity.

He consulted his map and the class schedule that he'd retrieved from Georgetown's computer records as he tried to get his mind back on track. He exited the vehicle with a firm nod once he was sure he knew where to go and began walking through the busy campus until he spotted his quarry. He chuckled softly again as he spied the leggy brunette walking at a fast clip away from the law library as he recalled that she'd inadvertently been responsible for him finally confessing his feelings to Amanda. He quickly caught up to her, grabbed her firmly by the arm, spun her around to face him and said, "Alright, Sonja, I wanna' know just what the hell kind of game you're playing with my kid!"


	26. Chapter 26

Amanda was on a tear as she made her way from the Q Bureau and back downstairs to the lower levels of the agency, not stopping for anyone or anything and not even bothering to acknowledge the whispers about her as she passed by. She entered the offices of the handwriting analysis team and quickly sought out a man that she knew she could trust as she'd worked with him several times in her career. "George, I need a favor in a hurry," she said just above a whisper. "And it has to stay just between us for now."

"Sure, come on," He replied with a smile as he led her into his private office. As he closed the door behind them, he asked with a worried look on his face, "What's going on?"

Amanda opened the file she'd been carrying around and pulled out documents from it, handing them to him. "I need you to do a handwriting comparison for me and see if these are a match. They look pretty similar to me, but you're the real expert. I need this done as quickly as possible please."

George's eyes widened when he realized what he was holding. "I can see why you want to keep this hush-hush," He said. He paused as he looked over the form from Phillip's recruitment file and then after a moment, looked up at her and asked, "Are you sure you're not just reading more into this than there is because of...well, you know..." He trailed off at seeing the fierce look on Amanda's face. "I mean, I-I-I I'd...Um...I'd understand if you're just trying to dig up dirt on Amie with everything that's going on. I have to admit that I've love to find a reason to get her tossed out on her ear after the crap she pulled on me a couple of years ago."

Amanda nodded in acknowledgement. "Yeah, I know." She remembered very well how Amie had tried to use her wiles on him as well and break up his marriage, fortunately, she was unsuccessful in doing so as George was a dedicated family man. _Just like Lee used to be,_ she thought miserably and then shook her head, telling herself to stop thinking that way. She then voice her thoughts aloud to George. "You can't tell anyone this, but I just think there's something more going on there than meets the eye. Lee and I were doing just fine until today."

"I really hope you're right, not just to finally get her ass out of here, but for you and Lee too, and your little ones."

"Thank you, George," she replied warmly. "Can you call me as soon as you know anything? And...uh...if you don't get me, don't leave a message. Just keep trying until you get me...Please?"

"Will do," he replied with a nod and as she exited, he began making a closer examination of the two documents.

Amanda's thoughts still whirled as George's statement about her little ones echoed through her mind. _Lee loves me and loves our family,_ she told herself firmly as she recalled the day that she'd told Lee that he was going to be a father again.

 **Friday, June 17, 1988, 8:45AM**

 _Lee and Amanda entered the conference room holding hands and wearing bright, happy smiles as they took their seats side by side as other agents filtered in around them._

 _Francine looked up at them from across the table, grinned at them and said, "Well, judging by the smiles on both of your faces, I'm guessing someone's having a good birthday so far."_

 _"I am," Lee replied with a loving look at his wife. "Of course, we could be on a twenty-four hour stakeout and it would still be a better birthday than last year."_

 _"Oh, come now, Sweetheart, it was rough, but we got through it, didn't we?"_

 _"Yeah, we did," Lee agreed as he squeezed Amanda's hand affectionately._

 _"God," Amie muttered with a roll of her eyes at the blatant public displays of affection._

 _Lee and Amanda only chuckled at Amie's discomfort as they continued to gaze at one another._

 _"Okay, so what gives? This is more than just a little early birthday gift," Francine probed with a knowing grin._

 _"You wanna' tell her?" Amanda asked her husband._

 _"No, you go ahead," Lee replied with a nod toward Francine._

 _They both turned Francine's direction and Amanda told her, "I'm pregnant."_

 _"Again?" Amie questioned with a sour look on her face. "You DO know what causes that, don't you?"_

 _"Of course, they do," Francine replied icily. "You should too since you get around more than the metro line." She then turned to her friends and said warmly, "Congratulations!"_

 _"Thank you, Francine," Amanda smiled at her and then at seeing the glowing smile on her husband's face, found that even Amie's snarky comments didn't faze her, not when Lee was so happy._

 _"You just make sure that you keep that to yourself at the church. Tomorrow is MY day," Francine reminded her._

 _"And that is one day I'm not gonna' miss for the world," Lee chimed in with an impish grin. "Seeing the unflappable Francine Desmond getting all weepy on her wedding day...That should be a sight to see."_

 _"Don't you bet on that happening," Francine countered, but with a wink at Jonathan. "I'm still me, after all."_

 _Billy entered the room with his traditional, "Alright, People! Let's settle down."_

 _"So, did you hear the news, Sir?" Amie said immediately._

 _"And what news is that?" Billy asked._

 _"Well, it seems that Amanda's pregnant...again." She smirked at the pair, but then her eyes soon widened in surprise at seeing that their smiles never faded._

 _"Congratulations," Billy nodded warmly to the couple who both responded with their thanks._

 _Not one to give up easily, Amie cast a vindictive grin across the table at Amanda. "So, I suppose poor Lee will need a new partner...again."_

 _"Oh, no, I don't think that will be necessary. They've got Jonathan to help them." He nodded to Jonathan cordially. "After all, you said yourself that he's been doing very well in your training classes, didn't you?"_

 _"Yes, but-"_

 _"Then what is the problem?" Billy fixed her with a stern glare._

 _"N-n-no problem...Sir," Amie stammered as she shrank down into her chair looking deflated._

 _"Good, now let's get down to business."_

 _After the meeting broke, Billy said, "Scarecrow, my office." When Lee and Amanda looked curiously at one another, he added, "Just Lee."_

 _"O-kay," Lee replied looking a bit worried as he followed Billy to his office._

 _"Wow," Amie said cattily from behind Amanda. "You just really don't care about your career at all, do you?"_

 _"Of course, I do," Amanda answered. "I love my job. You've been here for almost six months. You should know that by now."_

 _"You have a funny way of showing it. What are you planning to do, keep yourself knocked up to make sure he stays with you? You know a man like him can't be tied down any other way."_

 _"You're wrong," Amanda stated firmly. "Lee is with me because he loves me, not because we have children and not because I'm pregnant now. I told you five months ago that we were trying to have another baby so I don't understand why this should come as any surprise to you."_

 _"The only thing that surprises me is the depths that some women will sink to just to hang onto a man."_

You don't know the half of it, _Amanda thought as her mind drifted briefly to the events of a year ago and how low Candice had sunk to get pregnant with Leah._

 _When Amanda was silent, Amie continued, "I hope you know you're ruining your career in the process."_

 _"How do you figure? Women have families and careers all the time."_

 _"Isn't it obvious? In spite of his protests that Lee doesn't need a new partner, Billy asked for Lee and not you just now. That should tell you something. He probably has some assignment that he doesn't want you involved in with you in your delicate condition."_

 _"Let me assure you, Amie, that just because I'm pregnant, that in no way makes me delicate. I'm still a trained agent, one who had the highest test scores in agency history. You're in the training department and have full access to those records. In fact, I drove your predecessor up the wall because I was always outdoing everyone else in my training classes. Not only that, but in the six months that I took his place after his death, I actually designed some new courses, courses that you're teaching now. Look it up. I'm sure with a record like that; my career won't be in any jeopardy just because I'm having my_ _ **husband's**_ _baby."_

 _"That may be, but..." She paused and then continued with a sneer, "Just keep it up. Eventually, you won't be able to get back to your old figure, especially at your age. Then we'll see how devoted your husband still is to you. He won't say no to me forever, you know."_

 _"Yes, I will," Lee stated adamantly as he exited Billy's office. "Amanda, on the other hand..." he said suggestively as she slid his hands to his wife's waist, "Her, I never can say no to especially when she gives me this...look."_

 _"Oh?" Amanda replied as as she rested her hand on his shoulders, gave him her best "come hither" look and asked, "And what look is that?"_

 _"That one." He planted a quick kiss to her lips._

 _"So, Lee..." Amie purred. "Amanda was just telling me that you two were_ _ **trying**_ _to have this baby...on purpose."_

 _"We were," Lee replied as he turned toward Amie, but still kept one hand on Amanda's back. He grinned at her and added, "And what a time we had in the process."_

 _"Mm-hmm," Amanda agreed with a smile._

 _"Ugh," Amie let out a disgusted groan._

 _"Well, Amie," Amanda said. "You know, they say that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again."_

 _"And again and again," Lee added with an impish smirk at his wife. "How many times did we try again?"_

 _"Oh, Honey, I don't know. I lost count after we spend two whole days in bed the weekend of our wedding anniversary." Amanda giggled and then desperate to compose herself asked, "So, what did Billy want? New assignment?"_

 _"No, he just wanted to wish me a happy birthday and let me know that he and Jeannie might be a little late for the party tonight."_

 _"Party?" Amie questioned._

 _"Oh, gee, Amie, I'm sorry," Amanda answered in mock sympathy. "Didn't you get your invitation?" She paused for a beat, looking contemplative for a moment. "Hmm, it must have gotten lost in the mail." She paused again and then added, "Oh, well, there's always next year." She smiled sweetly and then linked her arm with Lee's and they exited the bullpen together._

 _"You are an evil, evil woman," Lee whispered in her ear as they made their way to the elevator that would take them back up to their office, laughing all the way._

 _"Evil? Me? Mm-mm," she replied mirthfully with a shake of her head._

Amanda's thoughts snapped back to the present as she marched steadfastly through the bullpen, once again ignoring the whispers, not stopping until she'd reached Billy's office and rapped firmly on his door.

At his shout of "Come in," she entered the office and was startled to see boxes littering the room and Billy piling things into them. "Sir?" she asked questioningly as she gestured at them.

"Just clearing out some junk, Amanda," Billy answered. "You'd be amazed how much stuff you accumulate when you spend a lot of years in one place."

She chuckled softly. "Yeah, I know. I'll never forget how long it took us to clean out the old house and Lee's apartment before we moved to the place we're in now."

"On that note," Billy paused in his task, gestured to the chair in front of his desk and then took a seat next to her instead of in his usual place behind the desk. "How are you holding up?"

"I don't believe it for a moment, Sir,' Amanda stated confidently as she searched his face for any sign that he might know what was really going on. She couldn't help the wave of disappointment that washed over her at seeing none.

"You don't? I don't know, Amanda, divorce papers are pretty convincing," he replied a little worriedly.

"Not to me, not until it's final," Amanda shook her head, "but that's not what I wanted to see you about. This is." She opened her file to show him the contents. "This is some of the research that I did over the weekend on the Cuban thing and I think-"

"Wait! You're still working on that?" Billy questioned, a look of deep worry on his face.

"Yes, but-"

"I told you that's been reassigned," Billy interrupted. "Dr. Smyth's orders after Lee's recklessness this weekend. He cost the agency a lot of money and you know how Dr. Smyth gets when he has to answer to the bigshots on why tax dollars are being wasted."

"I know, Sir, but this is-"

"No, Amanda, I'm sorry," Billy argued as he rose from his seat. "But you **cannot** keep working on this and I can't look at what you've got there. If Dr. Smyth finds out that you're doing this and that I know about it, it's not just your ass on the line, but mine too."

Amanda gaped at him with a look of utter astonishment on her face. "When has that ever stopped you before?"

"If it were just Dr. Smyth, I wouldn't have a problem with it because I know how good you are at spotting things that other people overlook, something that just might be needed on this case, but his orders came straight from the Justice Department and with the word that _they're_ handling it now."

 _A-ha, so someone at Justice had listened to me,_ she thought triumphantly as she abruptly rose from her seat. "I understand, Sir. I'll just go put this away then and get on home so I can pack for tomorrow." She then hurried out of his office and to the internal elevator, fuming the whole way about the way the agent she'd spoken with at the Justice Department had just treated her as if there were nothing to it. She became even angrier as she rode the elevator to the uppermost level of the underground part of the agency in knowing that Dr. Smyth knew about it. She flew out of elevator the second the doors opened, only being stopped when she reached the outer office of her final destination by a guard's hands on her arms.

"Hold it right there, Mrs. Stetson," the guard said firmly. "You know you can't go in there without being on his list."

"His list?" Amanda scoffed. You'd better be more worried about him being on MY list." She pried her arms from his grasp and looked at him fiercely, adding. "Henry, I am not in the mood for playing by his rules. You have to know what I've been through today. It's been all over the agency. Now, I'm not only a trained agent, but I'm also a mother of six on the brink of losing her family. Do you really want to put that to the test?"

"I'm-" He was cut off by the door opening behind him and Dr. Smyth waving him away with an idle flick of his hand.

"Come in, Mrs. Stetson," Smyth said as he opened the door to his private office to allow her admittance. "I was wondering how long it would take you to find your way up here." He gestured for her to sit, closed the door and then glanced at his watch. "You're a little early. I'm impressed. I wasn't expecting you for at least another two hours. You've really played beat the clock this time."

Amanda glowered at him as he sat behind his desk, while she still stood and glared down at him. "Don't start with the word games." She then slammed the file down on his desk in front of him. "I want some answers and I want them now!"


	27. Chapter 27

"But Aunt Francine," Leah protested with a pleading look in her eyes.

"I said no, Leah," Francine replied firmly. "The stuff that happened between your mom and dad is between your mom and dad and it's up to Lee or Amanda to talk to you about it."

"I understand," Leah said, but sounded disappointed.

"Hey, listen, I've got a ton of good stories I can tell you about your mom. Not only that, but I've got a ton of stuff that used to be your mom's that I've been saving for you." Francine perked up, gave Leah a half hug, and then rose from her seat. "Listen, why don't you order us a pizza and I'll go dig it up, okay?"

While Leah picked up the phone, Francine walked to the large walk-in closet in the hallway and pulled out a box she'd shoved there years ago and hadn't looked at since. The only reason that she hadn't gotten rid of it is that she knew one day she and Leah would be having a conversation just like this one. She just wasn't sure that she was ready to dive into these old memories, especially the painful ones and how she'd learned of her trusted friend's treachery and nearly let it cost her two more friendships.

 **December 29, 1987, 10:00AM**

 _Francine was sitting at her desk, typing furiously as she compiled the notes from this morning's briefing in a desperate attempt to keep her mind off the incident at the hospital the previous night and the fury she felt toward Lee and Amanda for keeping the truth about Candice to themselves._

 _"Francine," Lee said tersely as he strolled past her toward Billy's office._

 _Not looking up from her task, she said simply, "Billy wants to see you since you missed the meeting."_

 _"I know," He answered in a clipped tone. "Mrs. Marston already told me. I was just on my way."_

 _"Well, good." She replied still not looking up and then as he continued walking, added, "Since you think you're too good to attend required meetings now."_

 _Lee whipped around, a look of pure fury etched on his face, and retorted accusingly, "You know_ _ **why**_ _I missed that meeting! I was up half the night caring for my pregnant wife after YOU sent her to the hospital!"_

 _"ME?" She questioned hotly as she rose from her seat and glowered at him icily. "Did you ever think that if the two of you had been honest with me that this might never have happened? I'd have thought that the two of you would have learned the dangers of keeping personal secrets after what happened this summer!"_

 _"I was going through something very personal! It wasn't your business, Francine!"_

 _"Not my...not my business?" she sputtered incredulously._

 _"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Amie shook her head as she joined them. "Trouble in paradise?"_

 _"No one's talking to you, Bitch!" Francine fired caustically at Amie._

 _Ignoring Francine's remark, Amie sidled up to Lee and said pityingly, "What's the matter, Lee? Things not so rosy at home anymore?"_

 _"Do NOT touch me!" Lee shouted at Amie as he forcibly removed Amie's arm from around his waist._

 _"I'd listen to him if I were you and keep your hands to yourself...unless you wanna' lose them," Francine put in, her voice dripping with menace._

 _"Oh, what are you gonna' do when you're nothing more than a glorified secretary?"_

 _"You shouldn't be worried about what I'll do as much as you should worry about what Amanda will do if she finds out you've been making a play for her husband."_

 _"Thank you, Francine," Lee said gratefully._

 _"Oh, don't you even begin to think that you're off the hook with me! Not by a long shot!"_

 _"Knock it off, all of you!" Billy bellowed as he stood in the doorway of his office, scowling at all three of them. "My office, now! All three of you!" When they all complied and the door had been closed behind them, he demanded, "Just what the hell is going on around here?" When none of them made a move to be the first to answer, he said, "Fine. Francine, we'll start with you. Why did I get a middle-of-the-night phone call from Duffy saying that you threatened him and why were you here that late in the first place?"_

 _"Fred asked me to cover for him for a couple of hours," Francine answered sheepishly._

 _"Well, where was Fred?" Billy questioned, but then noticing the smug look on Amie's face, Billy no longer needed an answer to that question. "I see."_

 _Francine rolled her eyes and muttered, "Why doesn't that surprise me," while Lee gave Amie a revolted look._

 _"And you, Lee? Why did you leave your stakeout in the hands of a rookie by himself? If something had gone down, he could have been seriously hurt!"_

 _"Lee doesn't care about anyone but himself, that's why!" Francine answered before Lee could. "He doesn't give a shit if Jonathan gets hurt!"_

 _"That is not true!" Lee retorted._

 _"Yes, it is! You hate him and you know you haven't been willing to give him a chance since he started here! You just won't admit that you're jealous of him!"_

 _"Me? Jealous of him? Get over yourself, Francine! There was never anything to be jealous of when it comes to you!"_

 _"No? Then why were you spying on us when he first came back?"_

 _"I was trying to look out for you! That's what friends do, remember?" He gave her a pointed look reminding her that that was why he and Amanda had kept the truth from her._

 _"You're the one who needs to get over yourself anyway! I wasn't talking about personal jealousy! Just so we're clear, I am LONG over that little thing you and I had! I was talking about professional jealousy because he just might be a little better than you!"_

 _"Him? Better than me? You gotta' be kidding me!"_

 _"No, I'm not! Think about it! Think about how well he hid what he was doing with Brody from me, from ME, of all people, not to mention his secret work with the CIA. Then there's the fact that you had Candice's files in your possession for five years and never put the pieces together. He looked at them for five_ _ **minutes**_ _and had it all figured out and solved that case that put Mattson and his cronies away! Let's face it! You're useless without Amanda!"_

 _"Oh, You wanna' talk about that, do you? Let's talk about Amanda, huh! How about your "professional" jealousy of her because she came in with no training, no experience and yet she still showed you up at every turn!"_

 _"Enough!"Billy bellowed, snapping Lee and Francine's attention back to him. He took a deep breath to keep from blowing his top, "Now, Lee, your stakeout last night?"_

 _Lee raked a hand through his hair, let out a sigh and in a calmer tone, explained to Billy, "Amanda was taken to the ER last night. It was false labor and she's okay, but it...it worried me." He then glowered at Francine before turning back to Billy. "I called Anderson to take my place."_

 _"Anderson," Francine pouted. "Oh, that's great! You might as well have just left Jonathan with Liz Smith and painted a target on his ass. Anderson wouldn't know how to define the meaning of the word "covert" if you spelled it out for her and handed her a dictionary."_

 _"Or it could just be that you're jealous of her because she gets more field time that you do," Lee countered. "Or maybe you're jealous because she was with Jonathan last night and you weren't."_

 _"Ohhhh. How about we talk about your insane jealousy every time any man so much as looks at Amanda sideways?"_

 _"See? This is why romance and the intelligence world don't mix," Amie chimed in an amused expression on her face. "Clearly the two of you can't handle both!"_

 _"No one's talking to you!" Lee and Francine shouted at the same time as they both turned on her with poisonous expressions. They then looked at each other and laughed, the tension broken for the moment._

 _Billy sighed and shook his head. "Would you two mind giving me a moment with Amie?" He paused for a beat and then added with a grin, "That is, if you can go two minutes without trying to kill each other."_

 _"Yeah," Lee answered while Francine replied, "Yes, Sir."_

 _Lee sighed and held the door for Francine, nodded toward the empty conference room and said, "Let's talk."_

 _"Yeah," Francine replied. As she closed the door and Lee drew the shades, she began, "Look, I get what Amanda said about not wanting me to have my memories of Candice tarnished, but still, she was my friend. You're my friend and I thought Amanda was too."_

 _"She IS your fr-"_

 _Francine held up a hand to stop him. "I know. I know why she didn't tell me. It wasn't her place. Chances are that since she only ever saw the crazed side of Candice, I wouldn't have believed it coming from her anyway._ _ **You**_ _should have told me."_

 _"I didn't want to hurt you, neither of us did."_

 _"I know, but still...You're going through something huge. What Candice did to you...it..." she fidgeted nervously, not wanting to say the words aloud because it was too unthinkable. She took a deep breath and forced herself to say it. "It...it amounts to rape."_

 _"I know," Lee said, tensing visibly, "But it's no less than I deserve; the way that I was back then."_

 _Francine gaped at him in shock. "No one_ _ **deserves**_ _to be raped. Is that really what you think? That's as bad as date rapists saying a woman was asking for it by wearing a sexy outfit or letting a man buy her dinner."_

 _"But I was already sleeping with her at the time and if I hadn't led her on..." Lee protested._

 _"Stop it!" Francine barked. "You didn't lead her on. You made it clear at the time that you weren't looking for a happily-ever-after. I made that clear to her too and so did half the women in the steno pool, but she was so damn starry-eyed over you that she didn't want to believe it. She couldn't see strai-" She broke off as a thought occurred to her. "God, she DID believe it. That's why she...She did it on purpose to get pregnant knowing that you'd never let your guard down. Ugh, I think I'm gonna' be sick.."_

 _"That...that look on your face right now is exactly why we didn't tell you," Lee pointed out._

 _Francine nodded. "I understand. I...um...I'll go see Amanda today and apologize. I...uh...I shouldn't have blown up on her the way that I did."_

 _"Do NOT upset her again," Lee warned. "I don't want to get another emergency call like last night."_

 _Francine nodded again and promised, "You won't."_

 _Lee then grinned. "So, you...you're actually admitting that you're wrong?"_

 _"Well, don't get used to it," She fired back as she exited the room._

 _Later that afternoon, she found that her attempt to apologize was not as easy as she'd thought it was going to be as Dotty was reluctant to even let her in the front door. "No, Miss Desmond. She's resting after last night and I won't have you upsetting her again."_

 _"Look, I came to make peace." She then pulled a flat brightly colored package out of her shoulder bag. "See? I even brought a peace offering."_

 _"It's okay, Mother," Amanda called from the next room and Dotty finally reluctantly admitted Francine into the house._

 _"Hey," Francine said as she found Amanda was still working on her party dress. "I thought you were resting."_

 _"No," Amanda replied sheepishly as she paused in her task and looked down at the floor. "I...um...I just told Mother to tell you that because I-"_

 _"I get it," Francine stopped her. She'd used a few avoidance tactics of her own a time or two. "I...uh...brought you something."_

 _Amanda looked up and couldn't help laughing at seeing the gift that Francine had brought her. "You remembered."_

 _Francine laughed too and said, "How could I forget our first real conversation? I know it's not exactly the same thing, since it's not really the season for chocolate Easter bunnies with the marshmallow on the inside, but I thought the Santas would make a good substitute. They've got marshmallow on the inside too."_

 _"But Christmas was last week."_

 _"I know, but Jonathan cleaned out our local supermarket of all the marked down Christmas chocolate for me the day after."_

 _"Oh, you took this from your personal stash? That's really some peace offering," Amanda teased as she set the box of candy down._

 _"Amanda, I'm sor-"_

 _"It's not necessary, Francine. I've had some time to think about it and you had every right to be angry. Lee and I kept this huge secret from you. I would have been just as angry if I'd been in your shoes."_

 _"Still, I reacted badly and I-I don't know why. I mean, you two kept a bigger secret when you hid your marriage."_

 _"Francine-"_

 _"I'm over it," Francine cut her off. When Amanda looked at her skeptically, she corrected herself, "Okay, not over it exactly, but I think I get why you did it and I appreciate the effort you put in to try to protect me, but in the future..."_

 _"In the future, I'll tell you everything, no matter how painful it might be," Amanda promised._

 _"I guess...I guess I haven't made it much easier on you given my tendency not to trust people."_

 _"Francine, you really can trust me," Amanda replied sincerely._

 _Francine, a bit uncomfortable with Amanda's intense gaze, changed the subject and with a nod to the mannequin said, "That's some dress you're working on there."_

 _"I'm not sure I'm happy with it," Amanda replied nervously. "Of course, I'm not sure I'd be happy with anything since I look like an over-inflated beach ball right now."_

 _"Well, the color's perfect for you. You look great in blue." Francine walked around the mannequin, examining the dress from all sides. "Now, I have no skill for this kind of thing the way that you do, but you know what I think it needs?"_

 _"What's that?" Amanda inquired as she smiled at Francine's compliment._

 _"A lower bodice," Francine answered with a firm nod._

 _"Mm-mm," Amanda shook her head. "I don't think so. I couldn't."_

 _"Amanda," Francine gave her a stern look. "I've seen some of the things you've worn to parties in the past, like that little spaghetti strap, black, backless one."_

 _"That was different," Amanda protested. "I wasn't pregnant with twins then."_

 _"All the more reason to take advantage of the situation," Francine countered and then gave her a salacious grin, "Use the extra cleavage you've got now while you've got it. It'll take the focus off of your larger size and I guarantee that you'll be the belle of the ball and Lee won't be able t take his eyes off you."_

 _"You think?" Amanda questioned wistfully as she lightly fingered the soft crushed velvet._

 _"Come on, Amanda, who knows more about fashion that me?" She gave her friend a smug grin. "Trust me."_

 _"I trust you."_

Francine remembered vividly just how much those three little words from Amanda had meant to her given the situation. She shook off the memories and sat beside Leah on the sofa, setting the box down between them. "This is everything that I had of your mom's," she explained. "Maybe it'll help."

Leah picked a photo album out of the box and began thumbing through it gazing at the various photos of her mom, some including her dad, some including Francine and some with all three. She stopped and focused on just one. "I have a copy of this one," Leah told her.

Francine nodded. "I know. I don't know if you remember this, but your mom used to show it to you a lot when you were little. In fact, you drew a picture just like it with your crayons at my old apartment."

Leah's eyes lit up as she was hit with a flash of memory. "I remember that! That was the same day I first met Daddy. I gave it to him."

"Yes, you did. He was so surprised he didn't know what to do. He wasn't ready to be an instant dad, but I think he did an excellent job."

"I just wish I had more memories of my mom," Leah said sadly finally letting the tears fall.

Francine wrapped an arm around Leah's shoulder and let her cry until she calmed down a bit and when her sobbing spiraled down to just a light sniffle, she said, "I've also got an old diary of your mom's, if you're interested in reading it."

Leah lifted her head from Francine's should, looked at her more seriously and said, "Aunt Francine, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course you can. You can ask me anything. Just remember what I said. Some questions are best left for your parents to answer. "

"I know you and Mom are friends, so I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but...um...when I heard them fighting the other night, I...um..." She paused and took a shuddering breath to calm herself. "I sort of remembered how her and my real mom would fight when I was a little girl and I wondered if she hadn't been there; if maybe my mom would still be alive."

"So, that's what this is all about," Francine mused. Leah only nodded. "Don't _ever_ think that. Amanda didn't have anything to do with your mother's death. If it weren't for Amanda, you wouldn't be here. She risked her own life and the lives of the twins to save yours. She tried to save your mom, in a way too, by trying to get her out of the line of fire because your mom was already injured and in no shape to fight." Francine sighed, feeling a bit guilty because at the time for just a tiny moment, she'd blamed Amanda for Candice's death. After all, it was Amanda shoving Candice out of the way that had placed her in the path of the grenade that had killed her, but then she'd reasoned that there was no possible way that Amanda could have anticipated the bad guys having grenades in the first place when up to that point, it had been a gunfight.

As she thought back to that time, she wondered if Leah remembered Amanda racing down the stairs with her in her arms past her dead mother's body and if she knew that Amanda had inadvertently been responsible for Candice's dying. More than anything though it was Candice's own relentless pursuit of Lee that had been the ultimate cause of her death. If she hadn't been so hell-bent on keeping Amanda away from the girl... She shook her head as she thought of the erratic behavior of her friend just prior to her death. Candice just couldn't see that even if Amanda hadn't been around, she'd never have the picturesque life with Lee that she wanted. He just didn't feel that way about her, yet she blamed Amanda for it all the same.

Francine was spared any further reflection on that for a moment by the ringing of the doorbell. "The pizza," she said as she rose from her seat, grateful for the chance to escape from her internal torment and trying to decide just how much she should tell the confused teenager.


	28. Chapter 28

Lee felt the sharp sting of a slap across his face as Sonja hissed, "Get your hands off of me!"

While startled, Lee didn't let that stop him. Keeping a firm grasp on her arm as he forcibly steered her away from the crowd. "Not until we've had a little chat. I'm not letting you disappear on me like you did ten years ago forcing me to run from my own people."

"I said, get your _filthy_ hands off me!" She reached with her free hand to slap him again, but this time he caught her wrist firmly with his other hand, now gripping both of her arms tightly.

"Funny, I don't seem to recall you having a problem with my "filthy" hands being all over you ten years ago."

"Then you're not remembering correctly." Mustering all the force she could, she finally wrenched her arms free and snarled, "God, you're disgusting!" She then glared at him ferociously. "You really think you're God's gift, don't you? Well, I've got news for you! Not every woman in the world swoons over that flashy smile of yours!"

"No? It didn't seem that way to me back when you thought you were so clever in trying to seduce me!" Lee countered.

"Please, that was a job and a job that I never wanted to do in the first place!"

"It's not like I did either! I had Amanda and she's all that ever wanted!"

"You think you were the only one who had someone?"

"What?" Lee questioned in surprise.

"That's right," she replied triumphantly at the stunned look on his face. "I was engaged before Rostov recruited me. He threatened my fiancé's life if I didn't cooperate."

"I don't believe it. You're lying," Lee accused her.

"Look it up," Sonja fired back. "His name was Rudolf Orlov. When I failed in my mission, Rostov's replacement shot him between the eyes." She crossed her arms as she blinked back the tears that had started to form and tried not to show any weakness, she continued, "So when your government offered me a deal, I was only too happy to turn in the people I knew had been involved in his death."

"For revenge," Lee replied, a statement, not a question.

"For justice," She shook her head. "Wouldn't you do the same if that had happened to Amanda?"

"Is that what Phillip is too? Revenge against Amanda and me by seducing our son? You're way too old for him. Did you even think about the fact that when you were playing your little games with me, he was only thirteen?"

Sonja chuckled and retorted, "And I was only twenty-two. Did **you** even think about the fact that he's closer to my age than you are? You're what, fifty now?"

"Forty-six," Lee answered tersely.

"And I just turned thirty-three last November. God, just the memory of you touching me makes me sick!"

"You sure had a damn funny way of showing it," Lee retorted.

"Think back, Lee. You remember that night in my old apartment, what you said." Mimicking him, she said, "It's what we both want..." She shuddered slightly before continuing, "Don't you remember how quickly I pulled away from you and bolted from the sofa?" When it was clear by the expression on his face that he was trying to put the pieces of memory together. "No, of course, you don't. I don't know why I'm surprised. You were so moony over your precious Amanda and wanted to get me out of your life as quickly as possible, that was the only thing on your mind. Well, guess what? I wanted just as badly to get you out of mine! God, that night that I ran from there, all I wanted to keep running, away from Rostov, away from my grandfather and back to Rudy."

"Ooh, Rudy, huh?"

She slapped him again and spat, "Go to hell!"

"Oh, I'm sure I'll see you there someday," He countered. He sighed and said, "I don't get it. If you wanted to run so badly, why didn't you?"

"I should have," She admitted, "But I was terrified. Rostov wanted your defection so badly; I knew that he'd kill Rudy if I didn't finish it out. Not to mention, there was my grandfather... Did you know he died in prison, not long after you arrested him?"

"Not planning to weep over that one anytime soon," Lee replied caustically.

"Truthfully, I won't either. He spent so much of my life locked up in the Gulag, I didn't really know him until all that happened." She paused for a beat. "Did you know that he threatened to kill me too? I took him to another location instead of the one where you'd arranged to meet Rostov. I thought that if I proved my loyalty to Rostov, he'd let me out, let me have Rudy back..."

"Surely, you weren't that naive..." Lee scoffed.

"Not naive, hopeful," she corrected. "That hope was the only thing that I had going for me. I even turned on my grandfather, but then he turned on me."

"Funny how that happens," Lee commented dryly.

Sonja shook her head. "He knew how your mind worked so well, he knew the place I took him to was wrong. He threatened to kill me, put a knife to my throat and told me he didn't care if we were family..." her voice trailed off as tears stung her eyes.

"Oh, _now_ you're gonna' get all weepy?" When she didn't respond, Lee shook his head, folded his arms across his chest, fixing her with a steely gaze and demanded, "And Phillip? You never did answer me. Come on, you gotta' admit that your relationship with him-"

"Is none of your business!" she retorted hotly, her anger flaring again.

"The hell it isn't! This is my son we're talking about!"

"No, he's not...is he? I met his real father today when Amanda showed up on our doorstep with him," she challenged him. "Though I can see that he learned some things from you. His way with the ladies, for example..." She then smirked at him. "He told me all about his exploits with the sorority girls he used to run around with, said he wanted to put the past behind him."

"Oh, and I'm sure you were just as honest with him about your past," Lee responded sarcastically, though he couldn't help wondering why Amanda was with Joe when she'd confronted Phillip. Just what the hell was going on there? Between Amie's crack at the office and now Sonja, he feared now that maybe his ruse had driven his wife back into the arms of her ex. He cringed at that thought. _No,_ he thought, _not my Amanda. She'd never do that,_ but he was having a hard time convincing himself of that. He'd given her every reason to do just what...and whom she wanted to do. What if his treatment of her caused her to turn to Joe for comfort... _Stop it, Stetson,_ he barked at himself in his head.

"I was," Sonja answered. "Even the parts that I'm not proud of. He knows everything there is to know about me."

"Except what your end game is," Lee replied, his stern look never faltering.

"I don't have any end game except to finish my law degree and try to have a normal life," she argued. "I don't expect you to believe me, but it's the truth."

"Do you even know the meaning of that word?"

"Do you?" she dared him. "You've spent your whole adult life spinning tale after tale, telling lie after lie-"

"And you haven't?"

"No, not after I was arrested by your darling Amanda. The time I spent in prison, as rough as it was, it was actually a welcome change from all the secrets, from playing both sides between Rostov and my grandfather. How would you feel if you were in that position, having to choose between duty and love?" She grinned victoriously as she realized by the change in his facial expression to one of guilt that she'd struck a nerve. "If you don't mind, I've got a class to get to." She then walked away and Lee, lost in his own thoughts, didn't stop her.

Lee reflected on her words and wondered if maybe, just maybe, she was being sincere. After all, he himself was torn between his loyalty to the agency and his loyalty to his family. "No," he said aloud to no one as he slowly walked back toward his car, shaking his head all the way thinking of his brief liaison with her. Was Sonja right? Was he so focused on Amanda at the time that he'd never noticed that she was in just as much pain over their situation as he had been? It wouldn't be the first time he'd misread a woman's true feelings. His mind drifted back to the night that he and Amanda had reconciled after the closing of the case that had truly brought them together.

 **September 27, 1986**

 _Lee couldn't help the feeling of euphoria that washed over him as he held Amanda tightly to him on the bare living room floor in his empty apartment. pulled back for a moment to look at her and at seeing the nervousness in her eyes, he inwardly kicked himself and said, "God, Amanda, I'm sorry," with a guilty look on his face, made even worse by seeing her face fall._

 _"You...you're sorry...? She questioned with a hurt look on her face. "I-I I..." Lee cringed when he saw her trying to blink back tears, but didn't quite know what to say to stop them as she continued, "Are you sorry that we made love? I-I-I thought you wanted this as much as I did." She attempted to pull away from him, but he held her fast._

 _"I did," He said firmly as he gently caressed her face. "I did, really and I'm not sorry that it happened...more for...for the way it happened. I never..." He let out a deep sigh. "I didn't invite you over here tonight for this. I didn't want our first time together to be this...this..."_

 _"Oh, I see," Amanda looked away from him, attempted to reach for her clothes and in a barely audible voice said, "You're disappointed."_

 _"NO!" He reached for her and turned her to face him, "Amanda, no! God, no! It was amazing! I just..." He sighed again. "I just...I don't know...I wanted to romance you a bit, take our time and instead, I..." He looked at her with an expression of remorse on his face. "I've wanted you so much for so long that when you said we'd waited too long, when you started touching me, I-I-I couldn't stop. I...I acted like some kind of wild animal."_

 _Amanda sat up and stared down at him incredulously, "Lee, I'm an adult. I could've stopped you at any time, could've asked you to slow down. I didn't. I have wanted you for a very long time too. You said you're not disappointed, right?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Well, neither am I. There'll be other times when we can take our time." She then grinned at him seductively and added, "You know, when I said that I was free for the next two days, I didn't just mean for furniture shopping. I have two whole days for...whatever."_

 _"Yeah?" Lee said with a grin as he propped himself up on his elbows to look her in the eye._

 _"Yeah," she replied as she lowered herself above him and planted a firm kiss to his lips._

 _Lee broke the kiss and said, "Wait a minute! If you weren't having regrets or if I...If it wasn't something I did, then what was that look on your face all about?"_

 _"I...um...I don't know..."_

 _"Amanda..." He said sternly._

 _"I...look, I just...I guess I was...I don't know...a little worried that you...I mean, I know I'm not glamorous or exotic...or..."_

 _He hushed her with a finger to her lips and replied softly, "Stop. This may have escaped your attention, but those glamorous, exotic women of my past..." He hesitated, not quite sure how to put his thoughts into the right words to reassure her. "Well, let's just say, there's a reason that they're part of my past. When I said that I wanted a fresh start, I meant that I wanted that fresh start with you. I don't know what more I can do to convince you of that and this..." He gestured to their discarded clothes that had been flung everywhere in their haste to consummate their relationship. "This means more to me than you will ever know; YOU mean more to me than you will ever know."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Really. I think we're long past denying that this is something that we've both wanted for...well...forever. I just...I wanted for once in my life, to do this right...to make you understand that...understand just how much you mean to me." He ran both of his hands through her thick hair and pulled her down to him for a long, lingering kiss. "I love you, Amanda," he whispered softly. "I...uh...I just never knew how to tell you..." He was grateful that Sonja's treachery had forced him to finally say the words to her aloud, but felt that those words were completely inadequate to describe how he felt about the woman in his arms._

 _As if sensing his thoughts, Amanda replied, "Well, how about you show me instead?"_

 _Lee smiled warmly at her and proceeded to do just that._

Arriving at Leah's school, Lee shook his head once again as he walked toward the football field where he knew his daughter's practice should just about be wrapping up. He scanned the group of junior varsity cheerleaders looking for the familiar wild blond curls and when he didn't spot them, slowly approached the coach and asked, "Mrs. Travers, where's Leah?"

"Well, Mr. Stetson," she answered. "I was hoping you could tell me. She never showed up for practice. You know that really isn't like her."

"No, no it's not," Lee concurred, worry flooding his mind as he reflected back on the fight he and Amanda had had on Thursday night. What if Amanda was right? What if Leah was turning into a miniature of her birth mother? He shuddered slightly at that thought.

"She usually lets me know if she's going to be late or not able to make it or at least lets one of the other girls know so they can let me know." She nodded toward her charges. "Even Deidre doesn't know where she is."

That worried Lee even more since Dee and Leah were like peas in a pod. "I'll get to the bottom of this, I assure you, Mrs. Travers." As he walked away to set out on a search for his daughter, an even scarier thought crossed his mind. What if Amanda was wrong and this wasn't about Leah becoming a replica of her mother? What if it was something else entirely? What if his most terrifying nightmare had come true and the danger of the job had finally found one of their children?


	29. Chapter 29

Amanda found herself wanting to reach across the desk and slap Dr. Smyth senseless when he only grinned at her. "Well?" She demanded. Never breaking her eye contact with him, she jabbed at her file with one finger, "Are you even going to look at it?" She was a bomb ready to explode, already angry with Lee for his behavior, with Amie for hers and with Billy for his adamant refusal to even hear her out when all this time, the man in front of her was the one she should have been angry with from the start.

Austin Smyth shrugged nonchalantly as he lit a cigarette and replied, "There's no need. I've seen it."

"You-you-" she sputtered, too infuriated to form real words.

"Mrs. Stetson, haven't you learned yet, that I don't hold the title of Director of Covert Operations for my looks? "Covert" being the operative word. There is precious little that goes on in this building that I don't know about. For example, did you know that your quarry addressed in this file has also made you hers?" When Amanda simply stared at him in surprise, he continued, "Oh, yes. She knew about your trip to the DoJ within ten minutes of your arrival. What she didn't know is that you hadn't yet begun to point the proverbial finger at her." He paused for a moment to take a long drag from his cigarette. "According to one of our boys down in the computer security division, she's upstairs right now trying to break into your encoded files."

"Damn!' Amanda swore. Now she knew why Amie had been at Lee's desk when she'd gone to retrieve the Roque file from the vault. It wasn't just because she'd been looking for Lee or because she wanted to taunt her about her husband's seeming defection.

"Indeed," Smyth replied.

"So, what are you doing about it?" Amanda questioned.

"Not a damn thing," He answered, then paused for a beat, gave her a sly grin and added, "your baby daddy, on the other hand..."

"You...you did this."

"I despise traitors. When I saw your report on Saturday, I did some investigating of my own, saw the same thing that you did with the signature on the bank transfers. The difference is that I saw it before you did because you got distracted by your husband's trip to the infirmary."

"Lee's early morning meeting," She said softly as she began pacing nervously.

"Right here in this room," Smyth answered her. "In fact, he was treading the same path in my carpet that you are now."

Amanda halted abruptly, shook her head, and stared at him again. "I don't understand. If you've got the proof that she signed off on the bank transfers for the brothers, why haven't you had her arrested yet?"

"For the same reason that you didn't turn this," he tapped the file, "into me or Billy or IA. You and I both know that this goes deeper than our resident Jezebel. Arresting her now would only serve to make our other moles burrow themselves deeper into their hidey-holes." He paused as he stubbed out his cigarette. "Someone needs to lure out the rest of the fish."

"You're mixing your metaphors," Amanda said with a sly grin.

"I admit I'm a little off my game these days," he replied.

She couldn't help smiling at hearing him admit it. "Okay, I understand all that, but why Lee?"

"You _know_ why. He's the best piece of bait we could possibly dangle in front of her. True to her name, Ms. Rodman is quite the fisherwoman and anyone in this building could tell you that she's been rather disappointed that she never could land the biggest fish of them all."

"Lee is MY fish," Amanda hissed.

"I'm well aware of that," Smyth replied. "That's why she's so disturbed by the fact that you, the earth mother type, could reel him in while she, who views herself as the living embodiment of Aphrodite, couldn't. She sees you as a little like Hera, constantly battling to keep her husband faithful."

"But I haven't-" Lee had always been faithful to her without a fight. That was one thing she was sure of.

"I know that and you know that, but she has a very one-sided view of things. The rumor mill around here continually grinding out new versions of the same old tales about the infamous Scarecrow hasn't helped."

"So, all of this...the way he's been acting today...it's all been an act."

"The two of you cannot discuss this. He can't know that you know."

"Why didn't you just tell me from the start? Lee and I have played this kind of game before...with Sonja Chenko, for example...I recall that you offered me the full-time job after that." Amanda bit down on her lower lip and shuddered at the thought that her son was now involved with her.

"Does the name Addi Birol ring a bell?" At seeing Amanda's face pale, he continued, "I've allowed you to keep working together all these years because you've proved that you can handle separating the personal side of your partnership from the professional one..."

"Then why...?"

"...most of the time," Smyth continued as if Amanda hadn't spoken. "Birol is one of the exceptions. You and Scarecrow broke all the rules on that one; you let your covers slip at the airport, giving Birol just what he needed to-"

"But we caught him in the end," Amanda cut him off. "Isn't that what should matter?"

"But at what cost? How much time did you spend in the infirmary? How much time after that did you and your intended spend in therapy after your loss?"

Amanda's eyes widened in surprise. "You knew about that? Dr. Kelford said-"

"That he'd leave that tidbit out of the official report?" he finished for her. "I assure you that he did, but Dr. Quidd did not."

"Those files are supposed to be confidential," Amanda snapped.

"You should know by now that nothing is entirely confidential around here, not when we have our nation's secrets at stake. I had to make sure that you were recovering properly, make sure that there were no lingering psychological issues. After all, you were a brand new agent then and you hadn't been fully trained on withstanding torture techniques. Add to that, the losses that both you and Scarecrow have suffered in the past, I couldn't take the chance that I'd end up having a case of burnout in either one of you down the road as a result of it."

"We got through it," Amanda replied defensively, but as she thought of the days following her abduction at Addi Birol's hands, she cringed a bit.

 **November 7, 1986**

 _"Here we are," Lee said as he unlocked the door to his apartment. Amanda could tell that he was trying to be upbeat, but she knew that he felt a strange mixture of emotions just as she did._

 _As they entered his home together, she glanced down at the shiny new diamond ring that he'd just placed on her finger an hour ago and smiled slightly as she thought of everything they'd been through in the past week and felt several emotions hitting her all at once. She was happy that they were engaged, relieved that she'd been rescued, but at the same time saddened by the loss that her abduction had caused. "Lee, I-"_

 _"Here, let me take that and put it away for you," He said cheerfully as he took her overnight bag from her and carried it to the bedroom before she could say another word._

 _She followed him quickly and found him already unpacking her things for her weekend stay. She sank wearily onto the bed and let out a deep sigh. "We should talk about this," she stated plainly._

 _"You know, it was nice of Billy to let us take the rest of the day off," He mused without turning around._

 _When Lee simply continued in his task, she raised her voice a bit. "Lee, stop!'_

 _"I have to admit that I was surprised since we've spent so much time off with your recovery from what Birol did to-" He paused and heaved a deep sigh, gripping the edge of the open dresser drawer tightly._

 _Amanda slipped up behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist, planted a kiss to his back and pleaded, "Lee, talk to me, please!"_

 _Lee looked down into the open drawer for a moment and then quickly turning around to face her, he questioned, "What do you want me to say, huh?"_

 _"I don't know...anything! I just...I just need to know how you feel about all of this."_

 _Lee ran both hands through his hair and replied, "I don't know, okay!" He then flopped down on the bed and stared at the floor. "How should I feel, huh? You tell me that I was gonna' be a dad and then in the same breath tell me that I'm not. I don't know what to think of all this. I never...the idea of having kids never even crossed my mind before now."_

 _"You're not the only one who's feeling that way, you know," Amanda pointed out. "I...um...I..." she let out a sigh as she knelt on the floor in front of him to force him to look at her. She reached for his hands, kissed each one and explained. "It never crossed my mind either until now. I mean, I have two children already and-"_

 _"So, you didn't want mine," Lee spat._

 _"That's not what I'm saying," she answered gently. "I didn't have any time to figure it out. I didn't know that I was pregnant until I wasn't anymore."_

 _"You didn't?" He questioned._

 _She shook her head. "No, if I'd known, I swear that I would have told you right away and I'd never have taken that assignment if I thought...if I thought it might put our baby at risk. I've already lost-" she broke off and quickly rose to her feet, busying herself with finishing the unpacking job that Lee had started._

 _"Amanda," Lee said softly. When she didn't answer, just kept neatly folding her clothes and placing them in the dresser drawer he'd reserved for her, he placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "This isn't the first baby you've lost, is it?"_

 _She shook her head slowly as tears welled up in her eyes, took a deep breath and explained, "It was Christmas time in 1979. Joe came home for the holidays and we'd been apart for six months and we were so happy to be together again that...Well...we got a little careless and..." Her voice trailed off, knowing that Lee would be uncomfortable with too many details. "He left again at the end of January. I didn't find out that I was pregnant until about two weeks later. I don't even remember for sure where he was at the time, Southeast Asia someplace, I think, but by the time he got the letter to give him the news, I'd lost the baby."_

 _"Oh, great! That's just great! He was there to help you make the baby, but not there when you-"_

 _"Yeah," Amanda answered. "It was the beginning of the end of our marriage. I went almost two years without seeing him again. Finally, in '81, I just couldn't take being married by myself anymore and I filed for divorce."_

 _"So, that's why you didn't want to talk about why your marriage fell apart," Lee surmised._

 _Amanda nodded. "It was just too painful. I know he felt that he was needed overseas, but it was just too hurtful that he wasn't there when I needed him the most."_

 _"Amanda," Lee said softly as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "You know that I'd never do that to you, right?" When she just shrugged, he tipped her chin up to look into her eyes, and then reached for her left hand. "You see this? This means something to me."_

 _"It does to me too," she replied with a watery smile. "I just...I don't know how I feel about-"_

 _"I know. I don't either, but you know what? We do have time to figure it out...don't we? I think we should focus on celebrating our engagement for now and then worry about the rest later. What do you say?"_

 _Amanda wiped her tears away and answered, "Yeah, I think that's a good plan." She then looked down at her hand that Lee still held in his. "You know, I never got a chance to tell you how much I love this ring. It's...it's beautiful."_

 _Lee smiled a genuine smile this time and replied, "I thought so when I saw it in the jewelry store, but I think it's even more beautiful now that I see you wearing it." He then kissed her softly. "I promise you, Amanda, that we are going to get through this together and you'll never have to wonder where I am or go through something like that alone again."_

"Yes, yes, you did," Smyth said, snapping Amanda out of her reverie, "which is why I have no doubt that you'll get through this as well."

"And we came out stronger for it on the other side," Amanda added as she thought about that long ago conversation and how it, combined with Candice's untimely arrival had caused her to break her promise to Lee that she'd tell him right away that she was pregnant . Yet, Lee hadn't broken his, he'd stood by her unfalteringly when she'd been put on bed rest while carrying Emily, was there by her side when she'd had to have an emergency c-section. She shook off the memories and again glared at Dr. Smyth. "But why couldn't you have just been up front with me from the start?" Amanda questioned as she tried hard to keep her temper in check. "And why are you forbidding Lee and me to talk about this? With our history here at the agency, I think we've more than proven that we can handle this."

"Because I can't take the chance that you'll be overheard, that one of you will slip up and say something that blows the whole thing. My fear is that Amie's not the only traitor in our midst here at the agency. Your marital discord has to be believed by everyone here until this is resolved."

"What if it never gets resolved," She fired back at him. "Are we supposed to just go through with a divorce? Is that your master plan?"

"That wasn't part of my plan at all," Smyth answered. "That was all Scarecrow. Your unwavering faith in him and your insistence that the two of you try to work things out led him to it. He had to convince you that it was real. I'm sure that he didn't count on Ms. Rodman filling every inbox in the building with the news, but it works out in your favor, making the lie all the more credible. I'm sure that he used your ex-husband on purpose, knowing that he'd tell you right away rather than you hearing the news through the normal legal channels."

"Joe," Amanda shook her head. "Why on earth would he go along with such a thing?"

"I'm quite sure he didn't do it willingly," Smyth mused wondering just what Stetson had done to get Joe King on his side. "As for the divorce, just as you have faith in your husband, I have faith that the two of you will wrap this up quickly. In fact, I'm counting on it being done before I-"

At seeing his cool demeanor falter, Amanda said, "What?"

Smyth sighed as he fit another cigarette into his holder and lit it, taking a long, slow drag from it before answering. "It's these things," He replied with a grimace. "They're killing me." He then looked back at her. "You see, this is my last hurrah. My physician is insisting upon my retirement. Of course, he also wants me to give these up, but I figure what's the point now? Might as well spend the days I've got left enjoying life."

Amanda thoughts drifted back to the packing boxes she'd seen in her section chief's office. "Billy...'

"Will be taking over here," Smyth answered. "The official announcement will be made on Friday. You're not to breathe a word to anyone until then and no one is to know about my...condition." He blanched and then took another puff from his cigarette. "As far as this agency is concerned, I've simply tired of the espionage game. This case of yours came at a most opportune time, to give me the chance to go out with a bang, as they say."

"Huh," was Amanda's only reply as she contemplated what he'd just told her.

"That will be all, Mrs. Stetson," he replied with a wave of his hand.

She simply nodded, knowing by the look on his face that she'd get no more from him. "Sir, I...um...I'm very sorry to hear-" Smyth shook his head, gave her a stern look and nodded toward the door. "Right. You know, I...uh...I should go home and start packing for Station One tomorrow."

Amanda quickly exited the office, gave a brief nod to Henry and hurried to the elevator, her mind churning. She wondered how she was going to get through the next three days at Station One, wondered if there was anything that could be done for Dr. Smyth, then it occurred to her that she hadn't thought to ask who'd be taking Billy's place. Was Smyth's "last hurrah" a test for Lee to see if he was worthy of taking over?

She mulled over those thoughts all the way home. She'd always thought that Billy was grooming Francine to take his place one day, knowing that Lee would hate a desk job. Had she been wrong all this time? If Lee were going to be the new section chief, what would that mean for her career? It was one thing for them to be partners, quite another for Lee to be her direct superior. If Francine took over, the same could hold true for Jonathan and he'd worked so hard to get where he was just as she had. Would it all be wasted?

As she neared her neighborhood, tried to shake off those thoughts and just focus on her driving, she noticed yet again the same four-door sedan following behind her two car lengths back. She wanted to know who they were, but also didn't want to risk a showdown on her home turf. She and Lee had worked so hard to keep the job away from their family. She decided to act as normally as possible, just biding her time until an opportunity presented itself to confront them without risking getting her children involved.

After pulling into her driveway, she took her time getting out of the car while she grabbed her purse, made a show of adjusting her coat to make sure her revolver was within easy reach while surreptitiously glancing in the rearview mirror. She didn't think she'd need her gun because her pursuers hadn't yet made any threatening overtures and had simply followed her. When they hadn't pulled into the drive behind her, she finally got out, waved to her neighbor across the street with a cheerful, "Hello, Mrs. Angstrom!" noticing that the sedan was now parked down the block as she did so. "Hmmm," she said thoughtfully. _Surveillance of some kind,_ she thought wondering if this were Amie's doing. If she was trying to decrypt her computer files, what else might she try?

As she walked toward the house, her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She answered it to hear a panicked Lee on the other end asking her if Leah had called. "No...Lee, Slow down...What do you mean she missed her practice?" She waved again to her neighbor just so she could get another peek at the car that had been following her. Were they responsible for Leah being missing? "What do you mean you'll take care of it?"

"Look, one of us should stay home in case she calls or comes home," was Lee's terse reply.

"I just got home now. Maybe she's already here," she suggested hopefully. When she received no answer, she said, "Lee...Lee?" She glared at her phone and saw from the display that the call was no longer connected. She sighed and shook her head, now really wondering what those guys in the car were up to. She formulated a plan to confront them after her children were safely tucked into their beds as she entered her home. She hadn't taken two steps inside when she heard Jennie let out a blood-curdling screech.


	30. Chapter 30

"I get it! I get it!" Stephanie cried excitedly as she raced from the kitchen.

Francine halted her daughter with her hands on her shoulders and said, "Hold it there! You know what we talked about when it comes to answering the door."

Stephanie nodded. "Let the grown-ups do it."

"And why do we let grown-ups answer the door?"

"Because it might be a stranger," Stephanie answered in a small voice.

"And?"Francine probed.

"And we don't let strangers in the house."

"And what is a stranger?" She'd read in a parenting magazine that simply telling a child to avoid strangers wasn't enough, but that you also needed to help them to understand what a stranger was, otherwise they may see a stranger as some horrific monster and still trust someone that they shouldn't.

"Any person that we don't know," her daughter replied and then added matter-of-factly, "Even if they seem nice."

"That's my girl. You got it," Francine replied proudly as she shooed her toward the living room. "Why don't you go take Leah upstairs and show her your new dolly now?" While she and Jonathan felt she was too young to know what they did for a living, they had instilled in her a few basic rules to keep her safe. They'd learned from the siege at Amanda's old house nearly a decade ago that you just never knew what to expect. The danger it had put Phillip and Jamie in combined with Candice constantly having been on the run with Leah to protect her had made her seriously consider whether they should even have any children.

 **February 15, 1991, 10:30PM**

 _Jonathan and Francine sank down onto the sofa in Lee and Amanda's living room both exhausted and frazzled. "God, how did I let them rope us into this?" Francine complained with a shake of her head. "How hard could babysitting be, I said. I mean, if Amanda's sixty-something mother can do it by herself, it should be a snap for the two of us, right?"_

 _"Where did her mother go again?" her husband asked._

 _"I don't know, something about her sister in Maine or Vermont or someplace up north and they didn't want to leave the little ones supervised overnight by only the teenage boys while they have their belated anniversary weekend away."_

 _Jonathan glanced at his watch and said, "Speaking of supervision, didn't Amanda say before she left that Phillip's girlfriend was supposed to be home by eleven? It's ten-thirty now."_

 _"One of us should probably go check on them," Francine replied reluctantly, but didn't make a move to get up._

 _"Well, the last time that I saw them right before we went to put the little ones to bed, they headed up to his room, said they were going to listen to some music."_

 _"Crap!" Francine bolted from her seat and hurried up the stairs as she remembered that his door had been closed when they were upstairs, "A pair of seventeen-year-olds, a stereo and a closed bedroom door, that's trouble."_

 _As she predicted, they walked into the room to find Phillip and his girlfriend, Christie, locked in a passionate embrace and in a half state of undress on his bed. "Hey, hands where we can see 'em!" Francine shouted as if she were arresting a bad guy. The pair broke apart, both flushed and blushing furiously as they straightened their clothing. "See? This...this is why your parents didn't want you left alone with the little ones!"_

 _Jonathan, with a much calmer tone, crossed his arms and said pointedly, "Isn't it about time you took Christie home? She has an eleven o'clock curfew, doesn't she?"_

 _Phillip looked at his watch sheepishly and stammered, "I...I...yeah." He fished into his pocket for the keys to the wagon and the young couple flew from the room._

 _Francine shook her head and muttered, "I don't know how Amanda does it," as she and Jonathan walked back down the hall toward the stairs, just as the younger pair were putting their coats on and raced for the stairs ahead of them._

 _As they heard the front door slam, Jonathan looked a bit nervous concerning the scene they'd just walked in on and glanced toward the door. "You...uh...you don't...you don't think they're having sex already...do you?"_

 _"God I hope not," She answered as a shiver ran up her spine at having seen little Phillip King like that. She still remembered the days when he was happily playing little league with Amanda as his coach. "But given the example Lee set for him, I wouldn't put anything past him," Francine answered with a sigh. "I'm just glad we finally got the younger kids to bed." She glanced down the hall toward the three bedrooms shared by the four younger children._

 _The words were barely out of her mouth when Leah came prancing out of her room just as the couple was about to descend the stairs. "Auntie Francine, can't I stay up just a little bit longer? I hardly ever get to see you anymore."_

 _"Leah, you know I love you," Francine replied. "And I love spending time with you, but your parents were very specific in their instructions that you be in bed by ten."_

 _"But it's not fair," Leah whined with a stomp of her foot. "I'm almost nine! I shouldn't hafta go to bed the same time the babies do! Matt and Jennie are only three and Emily's not even two yet."_

 _"Well, Emily's almost two," Jonathan pointed out, "And you only turned eight four months ago, so that's not almost nine yet."_

 _"Not the point, Honey," Francine said to her husband, and then turned back to her young charge. "Look, Leah, we don't make the rules here, but since your parents left us in charge of you that means it's our job to make sure that you follow them. Just because they aren't here, that doesn't mean that you can make up your own rules. If you have a problem with the rules they set out for you, then you need to take it up with them when they get home." She then placed a firm hand on Leah's shoulder and guided her back toward her room. "Now, go on, get back to bed. We'll do something together tomorrow, just us big girls, okay?"_

 _"Fine," she pouted, but did as she was told leaving Francine sighing after her as she and Jonathan finally headed back down the stairs._

 _Jonathan laughed at the look of consternation on his wife's face. "What?" Francine snapped._

 _He slipped his arms around her, laying one hand on her abdomen and answered, "I was just thinking how great a mom you're going to be."_

 _Francine laid her hand over his and said nervously, "I...uh...I don't know about that one."_

 _Jonathan brushed a soft kiss to her lips, linked his fingers with hers and replied firmly, "I do. The way you handled Leah just now..."_

 _"Yeah, well, that just comes from the handful of times that I've taken over from Billy at the office when he's been away. You did pretty well with Phillip too, when I was ready to skin him alive." She then looked down and their entwined hands, and then looked back at him, her bright blue eyes filled with worry and asked in a soft voice, "Are you sure we're ready for this?"_

 _"Aren't you? I mean, we've been trying for almost a year and now that it's finally happened, you're having second thoughts?"_

 _"I don't know," she answered honestly, as she pulled herself from his embrace. "I...um...I just keep looking around this place of Lee and Amanda's and while it looks like your run-of-the-mill, normal, everyday, suburban house, it's really not. It's more like a fortress. They've got a state-of-the-art security system, surveillance cameras, and the invisible electric fence outside, all in the name of them keeping their children safe..."_

 _"Do you blame them after what happened at the old house? I was there, remember?" Seeing that she still looked worried, he added, "You know, we could do the same at our house."_

 _"But what if it's not enough?" she questioned. "With what we do for a living, maybe we shouldn't be having this baby at all. I mean, you remember why Lee and Amanda kept their marriage hidden to begin with."_

 _"Well, you saw how well THAT worked out," he fired back._

 _"Okay, yes, but-"_

 _"No buts," He replied sternly. "What we do for a living is dangerous, yes, but we also have the training to handle whatever comes our way...don't we?" He then grinned at her and added, "Aren't you the one who's always telling everyone who'll stand still long enough to listen what a highly skilled agent you are?"_

 _"Yes, but what if what happened to Amanda with Emily happens to me? I'm thirty-eight, the same age that she was when she was put on total bed rest. How would I be able to protect our child then?"_

 _"Oh, so you're actually admitting to your age," he teased in an attempt to lighten the mood. When she gave him a withering look, he continued with, "Look, in the event that that happens, you've got me to back you up." He then took her left hand in his, lightly thumbed her wedding set. "That's what this means." He then grinned at her. "Not only that, but I didn't go through all that training for nothing, you know."_

 _"I know, but...but what if it's just selfish of us to bring a child into the life we live?"_

 _"When has being selfish ever bothered you before," he joked. When she smiled slightly, he added, "After all we've been through, haven't we earned the right to a little selfishness?" He then looked at her worriedly. "You DO want this baby, don't you?"_

 _"Yes, of course. I just...just don't know if I should...if we should."_

 _"Well, I do," he stated adamantly. "I know it's scary, but I'm going to be by your side every step of the way. I promised you when I gave you this diamond ring four years ago that I wasn't running ever again and I meant that."_

 _Francine sighed and said, "Good. I'm gonna' hold you to that, even when I get big as a house."_

 _"I'm looking forward to it." He kissed her again and led her back to the couch._

 _"Lord, am I exhausted," she complained as they sank back down onto the cushions together. "I honestly don't know how Lee and Amanda handle six of them. You know...I'm thinking that maybe we should only have the one."_

 _"But what if we don't get the girl we want this time around," he teased._

 _"Then you get the blame for that," she retorted with a wry grin. "You know, it's the guy who determines that, right?"_

 _"I'll happily take the blame," He fired back and then grinned at her. "That just means we'll have to keep trying until we have a girl."_

 _She couldn't help melting at the devilish look in his eyes. "I guess we'll just see how we do with one and go from there. How does that sound?"_

 _"Good plan," He replied._

 _Their conversation was interrupted by the slamming of the front door and Phillip shouting, "She's home now! Are you happy?" as he flounced toward the stairs._

 _"Yep, they're definitely having sex," Francine commented. "That's your typical, surly, teenage-boy-who-didn't-get-laid attitude."_

 _"You know that from first-hand experience?" he teased._

 _"Hey, I was a teenage girl once."_

 _"I'll tell you something, if we do have a girl, I'm going to make it my main priority to keep her away from boys like him," Jonathan nodded toward the stairs that Phillip has just practically flown up._

 _Francine laughed and retorted, "Wait just a minute. Didn't you once tell me that you were seventeen your first time?"_

 _He paused as he thought for a moment and grinned at her. "Since we've been back together, I barely remember the first time."_

 _"Good answer," she replied as she leaned in to kiss him, sliding her hands through his hair._

 _'Mmm," he sighed as he wrapped his arms around her deepening their kiss._

 _Francine sighed in contentment, feeling the stress of the day with the kids ebbing in her husband's embrace. She trailed kisses across his jaw and to his earlobe as she felt him nibbling at her neck. "I love you," she whispered against his skin._

 _They were so lost in one another; they didn't hear the footsteps coming down the stairs until an angry voice demanded, "Oh, so it's okay for you guys, but not for me?"_

 _Francine and Jonathan broke apart abruptly and turned to find Phillip staring at them with his arms crossed. "Okay, first of all, we're adults, you're a kid," Francine retorted._

 _"I'm not a kid! I'll be eighteen next month!"_

 _"You're still in high school, that makes you a kid," Jonathan replied, just as Francine said, "Oh, and Leah thinks she's old enough to stay up because she "almost" nine!"_

 _"Oh, come on, she's eight and four months! I'm seventeen and ten-and-half months!"_

 _Francine rolled her eyes and countered, "If you're still counting your age in months, you're a kid. And like Jonathan said, you're still in high school and even after you turn eighteen next month, you'll still be in high school and still living at home, which means you have to follow your mother's rules. I can just bet that she doesn't have a rule allowing her kid and his kid girlfriend to have sex in her house."_

 _"Whatever," Phillip sulked as he walked toward the kitchen to get the snack he came downstairs for._

 _"Wow," Francine shook her head. "Makes me really, really hope this baby's a girl now. What the hell was Amanda thinking in asking us to spend the weekend with her kids?"_

 _"You know what she was thinking and you have no one to blame but yourself. You're the one who told her that you're pregnant instead of waiting a while. You know Amanda."_

 _"Yeah, she figures it'll give us some practice for the real thing," Francine replied knowingly. "Honestly, I think I might need it."_

 _"Still worried?" he questioned. "'Cause you know, even if we weren't spies, there are still dangers out there for kids that have nothing to do with our jobs."_

 _She nodded, "I know," she answered as she stifled a yawn. "I'm okay, really."_

 _"No, you're not. You can barely keep your eyes open. You should go on up to bed. I'll hold down the fort and wait up for Jamie to get home from his party, okay?"_

 _"No, you don't have to," she protested. "We're in this tog-" she yawned again and finished, "-ether."_

 _"Not anymore," he argued back as he pulled her to her feet. "Go on, get to bed."_

 _"Jonathan, come on, I'm fine. I've stayed awake for forty-eight hours straight on a stakeout before. I think I can-'_

 _He shushed her with a finger to her lips, shook his head and said, "Not while you were pregnant, you haven't. You need more sleep now."_

 _"If you think that just because I'm having a baby, I'm going to turn into some weak-willed-"_

 _"The baby needs you to sleep, okay? You were just talking about keeping our baby safe. This is a good way to start. If not for yourself, do it for her."_

 _"What if it's a him?"_

 _"Nah, I just have a feeling we're going to get our daughter," He replied confidently. "Please, honey? For the baby?"_

 _"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled as she headed for the stairs, but then turned back for a moment and fired back, "You know, this is going to be a long nine months if you keep up this "for the baby" bit."_

 _"Goodnight." He smiled at her and blew her a kiss before sitting back down and turning on the TV as she went upstairs._

 _An hour and a half later, she stirred slightly as her husband slipped into bed next to her, "Jamie get home okay?"_

 _"No, but that's okay. I set all the alarms, including the perimeter alarm. He won't be able to sneak in late without us knowing about it."_

 _Francine chuckled softly and said, "You're gonna' be a great dad," as she snuggled up next to him._

 _Another hour and a half went by when they were awakened by a loud screeching. The both bolted out of bed and raced down the stairs only to find that Phillip was already at the alarm panel inside the front door. "It's the outside one," he said as he peered out the window._

 _"Hey, get away from the window," Francine barked. "You don't know who might be out there."_

 _"Oh, don't worry, it's just my lame-brain brother," Phillip said with a nonchalant shrug._

 _"Hey, go check on the little ones while we take care of him."_

 _"Yeah," Phillip said and trotted back up the stairs._

 _The couple stepped outside to find Jamie was unsteadily making his way toward the house. They caught up to him, one bracing him on each side, "You've been drinking," Jonathan scolded._

 _"I s-s-swear, I d-din't know wha waz in da punch," Jamie slurred as they walked him into the house._

 _"It's not good talking to him like this," Jonathan said with a glance to his wife. "Let's just get him up to bed and deal with it in the morning."_

 _After getting Jamie settled into his bed with a wastebasket nearby in case he threw up, they hurried down the hall to check on the little ones and found Philip in the room shared by Emily and Jennie trying to console a frightened and crying Jennie just as Emily began wailing as well._

 _"Honey, can you go check on Matt and Leah?"Francine asked her husband as she picked up the baby and began to rock her. "Shh, it's okay, Em. The loud noise is all gone." She held her and whispered soothing words to her until she stopped crying and then put her back to bed._

 _Once the chaos had died down and all the children were back in bed, they crawled back into bed themselves and Francine caught Jonathan staring at her with a warm smile. "What?" she said._

 _"After tonight, I just can't wait to see you with our daughter."_

 _"You sound awfully sure that this baby's going to be a girl."_

 _"Just a feeling, but you know, it doesn't matter, boy or girl, we'll love it just the same and you'll be an amazing mom."_

Of course, as it turned out, he'd been right and they got the little girl that they'd both wanted and had decided they were perfectly happy with just one child. She took a brief glance back at the living room and couldn't help laughing at Stephanie's exuberance in tugging on Leah's arm to lead her up the stairs, Leah protesting for her to slow down. She smiled, happy to see that Leah's melancholy mood when she'd arrived had started to dissipate. Her thoughts were interrupted by ringing of the doorbell, this time more insistent as it was now being repeated incessantly. "This is one dead pizza guy," she muttered as she marched to the door flung it open and said, "Pissing your customer's off is a lousy way to earn a ti-"

She stopped as she realized it was not the pizza delivery guy, but Lee on her front steps. He pushed his way forcefully past her. "Where the hell is Leah," he demanded. Without waiting for an answer, he stormed inside and called, "Leah!"

"Sure, Lee, come on in," Francine muttered sarcastically with a shake of her head as she closed the door. Then mimicking Lee, "Why, thank you, Francine. Don't mind if I do."

As she re-entered the living room, she saw Lee was just darting out of her kitchen with another cry of "Leah!" as he made his way toward the stairs.

Francine stepped in front of him to stop him with a firm, "Hold it there, Cowboy! You're not going up there!"

"Try and stop me!" Lee countered.

"Do I have to hit you again?" Francine countered. "I did it once already today. Don't make me do it again!" She was already furious with him for the way he was treating Amanda. "Not that you don't deserve for letting your slut girlfriend advertise all over the agency that you're divorcing Amanda."

"You're getting divorced?" Leah's panic-stricken voice sounded from the stairs.


	31. Chapter 31

With one hand on her gun holster, listening intently, Amanda tore through the house toward the sound of her daughter's scream and relaxed when she realized that it was just the sound of her children bickering. Making her way down the stairs leading into their basement playroom, she saw her mother standing in the doorway of the room shaking her head and saying, "I don't know what's going on with them, but they've been at it ever since they came home from school."

Releasing her grip on her revolver, she replied, "I'll take care of it."

She made her way into the room where Jennie and Emily were screaming at one another and tussling over a Barbie doll. "You're such a brat," Jennie cried while Emily fired back, "You had it coming!"

"Stop it," Matt yelled as the two girls blocked his view of the television connected to the video game he was playing giving Emily a shove with one hand while he kept the other on the game's controller. "Now, look what you did! You just got me killed!" He then flung the controller at the game console.

"Good!' Emily shouted as she released her hold on the doll. "Maybe now I'll get a turn!"

"Hold it, hold it, hold it," Amanda said in a firm voice as she marched to the TV and snapped it off. "Nobody's getting a turn until you tell me what's going on here!"

"Mo-om!" the twins both cried.

"Mm-mm," Amanda shook her head. "I wanna' know what's going on here and I wanna' know now! I wanna' know why you two are fighting and why you…" she glared at Matt, "…are shoving your little sister."

All three sounded at once, Matt yelling about Emily acting like a baby while Emily in turn was yelling about being ignored and Jennie calling Emily a brat again.

"All right, knock it off! One at a time and Jennie, do NOT call your sister a brat!"

"But, Mom, look what she did to my Barbie," Jennie argued as she held up the doll. "She cut all her hair off!"

Amanda bit down on her lower lip to keep from laughing at the sight of the Barbie doll with the remainder of its synthetic hair sticking up in all directions. Trying to keep her stern "Mom" look on her face, she turned her attention to her youngest child and asked, "Em, did you do that to your sister's doll?"

"Not just this one, but ALL of them," Jennie answered before Emily could with a wild gesture to the corner of the room where the girls had their Barbie kingdom set up. In said corner were a pile of naked, nearly hairless Barbie dolls while Emily's were dressed to the nines, lined up atop their Barbie Dream House looking down on Jennie's disfigured ones.

"I'm asking Emily," Amanda said to Jennie before turning her attention back to the younger girl. "Did you do that?"

"Yes," Emily admitted, but then snapped, "but SHE deserved it!"

"I did not!' Jennie yelled.

"Did too!" Emily yelled back.

"No, she didn't!" Matt defended his twin. "You're just acting like a baby!"

"Enough," Amanda scolded sternly, and gestured between the twins. "You two, zip it and let me talk to Emily." She sighed, took the doll from Jennie's hands and asked, "Why do you think your sister's dolls deserved this, huh?"

"Those two," Emily glared at the twins, "were leaving me out. They wouldn't let me have a turn."

"Mario's only a two-player ga-," Matt tried to interject, but off Amanda's stern look, clamped his mouth shut.

"Well, we'll solve that problem right now," Amanda said firmly as she reached to disconnect the game console from the television.

"Mom, no!" Matt cried, while Jennie looking horrified, said, "Please, don't!"

Wrapping the cords around the game system, Amanda replied, "Until you can learn to share and take turns, there will be no Nintendo for any of you. Are we clear?" When all three muttered and nodded, she said, "Good! Now, have you done your homework yet?" When all three were silent, she replied, "That's what I thought. You all know the rules, homework before playtime. Now, get to it! And Emily, you will be paying to replace your sister's Barbies out of your allowance, you hear me? Until you do, you'll be sharing yours with her." She gestured to the Barbie corner where Emily's Barbie dolls sat in pristine condition.

"But, Mom, she wasn't sharing with me!" Emily pouted.

"Well, that's what started all this, isn't it?" Amanda said pointedly. "You're mad at her for not sharing, yet you want to do the same thing? That doesn't seem very fair, does it?"

"No, Mom," Emily replied reluctantly.

"Go on! Homework, now, all of you."

As all three children hurried up the stairs, Amanda slowly followed behind them with a shake of her head, the Nintendo tucked under one arm, the shorn doll in her other hand.

"Everything okay?" Dotty asked with a questioning look as Amanda re-entered the kitchen. "The children just ran up the stairs as if someone was chasing them."

"Yeah," she replied wearily as she glanced at the doll and finally let the laughter that she'd been holding back bubble forth. She needed the laugh after the day she'd had. "They're all three grounded from this though," she indicated the game system. "I'm just gonna' go put it up where they can't get to it."

"Amanda, wait, Mrs. Travers called earlier, said Leah didn't make it to her cheerleading practice. I tried calling your office to let you know and some horribly unpleasant woman answered and said something about it not being your office anymore. Is there something going on that I should know about?"

"No, Mother, that's just her counting her chickens before they hatch," Amanda couldn't help smiling slightly now that she knew that Lee was only acting as if he were interested in Amie and that Dr. Smyth had no intentions of splitting them up.

"What about Leah? Did you know anything about that?"

"Yes, Mother, Lee's working on it," Amanda answered, her smug look turning to one of worry, wondering if the men outside had something to do with it or if it was just another teen rebellion incident like that of Thursday night. She suspected the latter was more likely since Leah had been so moody lately.

She walked up the stairs to the second floor and into the bedroom she and Lee shared, stowed the Nintendo away on the closet shelf and had just closed the door when she heard more bickering coming from the girls' room. Hurrying down the hall, she said sternly, "It doesn't sound like any homework is getting done in there!" At seeing their mother in the doorway, both girls were suddenly quiet. "Is there something else going on that I should know about?"

Grabbing her book bag, Emily said sullenly, "I'm just gonna' do mine downstairs since SHE doesn't want me around," and she brushed past her mother and out the door.

"Jennie, do you care to tell me what that was all about?"

"She's a baby, that's what!" Jennie replied with a scowl as she flung herself onto her bed.

"Oh, come on, now," Amanda said as she sully entered the room and sat on the edge of Jennie's bed. "She's only fourteen months younger than you."

"Well, she acts like a baby! You should see her at school, always following me and Matt around like a big loser."

"She looks up to the two of you, you know."

"Why do I hafta share a room with her? Everybody else around here has their own room!"

"I don't. I share with your dad, remember," Amanda pointed out.

"But that's different. You're married. Married people are s'posed to share a room. It's not fair that Matt's the same age as me and has his own room and I don't!"

"That's because Matt's a boy and you're both girls," Amanda answered.

"That's so not fair," Jennie moped. "Leah's a girl and she has her own room."

"Well, where do you suggest we move you to? In case you haven't noticed, all the bedrooms in this house are occupied and your grandmother's living above the garage because there just aren't enough rooms in this house."

"Why can't I just have Phillip's room? He's never here anyway!"

"Listen, why don't we talk about this another time? You better get started on your homework so you can get it done before dinner, okay?" She had to admit, Jennie had gotten her thinking, especially after her argument with Phillip today and him yelling at her that she couldn't boss him around anymore since he no longer lived at home. As much as it pained her, maybe it was time to make it official.

"Yeah, okay," Jennie reluctantly replied.

"Good girl," Amanda answered with a smile as she rose and walked down the hall just in time to hear Jamie's voice calling up the stairs, "Mom!"

"Up here!" she called back as she paused in her journey toward Phillip's room, meeting Jamie and Beth on the landing leading downstairs.

"Hey," Jamie said with an air of nervousness in his voice. "Um...could we talk to you for a sec?" He nodded toward his room.

"Of course, Sweetheart," she replied with a smile glad to see them holding hands and appearing happy, apparently having made up from whatever they'd fought about. As they walked down the hall, she spotted the sparking diamond ring that Beth was wearing and remembered Joe telling her about their younger son's withdrawal from his bank account. _That explains a lot,_ she thought, though she imagined since Joe was primarily the one who replenished Jamie's bank account, he'd be none too happy about it.

As they entered Jamie's room and closed the door, Jamie said, "Um...you might wanna' sit down."

"I'll stand, thanks." She nodded toward the young couple's clasped hands and asked with a smile, "Does this have something to do with the brand-new ring Beth's wearing?"

"Uh...yeah," Beth answered with a nervous smile. "We're getting married."

"I knew that," Amanda replied. "I've known for a long time that you two would get married some day, you know, after you finish school."

Jamie and Beth glanced at one another. "Actually, Mom, we're not waiting until we finish school. We're getting married now...or...um...at least as soon as possible."

"Oh, Jamie, no," Amanda replied, her happy face turning into a worried one. "You...uh...you don't wanna' go down the same path your father and I did. It was really difficult while he was still in law school, trying to raise a fami-" At seeing the solemn looks on both of their faces, realization hit her. "Oh, I see."

"Look, Mom, we've had a long talk about this and we're making plans..."

While she half-listened to Jamie's explanation of the plans he and Beth were making, she couldn't help her mind drifting back to a very similar conversation she'd had with her own parents years ago.

 **August 1, 1972, 9:00PM**

 _As she stood on the front steps of the home she'd grown up in, Amanda took a deep breath to steel herself for the conversation she was about to have with her parents. Knowing the disappointment in her she'd see on their faces, she wasn't ready for this, but she knew it had to be done. She'd glanced down at the ring she now wore and then at Joe who stood beside her._

" _Come on, Amanda, we have to do this sooner or later," Joe said as he took her hand._

 _Clinging to his hand and taking one more deep breath, she plastered a smile on her face and entered the house with a cheerful, "Mother, Daddy, I'm home!"_

 _"We're in the living room, Dear!" Dotty's equally cheerful voice called back. As she entered the room, her mother turned to her and asked, "Did you two have a good time tonight? You're home awfully early."_

 _"I...Um...actually, that's because we have something important to talk about," Amanda answered nervously as she released Joe's hand and flipped the television off._

 _"Hey, I was watching that," Carl West protested._

 _"I know, Daddy, but I...Um...it's like I said, this is important," Amanda explained as she nervously fidgeted with her hands._

 _"Could it possibly have something to do with this?" Dotty inquired with a bright smile as she reached for her daughter's left hand and then glanced at Joe who gave her a nervous smile._

 _"Yeah," Amanda smiled weakly as she tried to focus on the joy of the situation. "Joe asked me to marry him tonight."_

 _"Darling, that's wonderful!" Dotty exclaimed as she hugged her daughter tightly. "I can't wait to start making plans for your wedding. Of course, we've got plenty of time since he won't be finishing law school for another three years, but it's never too early to start getting things ready. Those three years are going to fly by before you know it." She then hugged Joe, quickly released him and gushed, "Oh, my gosh, there's so much to do! Have you set a date yet? You know, I'll have to get the calendar out and ooh, you should have a summer wedding, early summer though, before it gets too hot."_

 _"Mother, stop!" Amanda interrupted. "We're not having an early summer wedding."_

" _Oh, well. You know, if you don't like the idea, we could always plan a Christmas wedding. That would be beautiful, especially if we get some decent snow, but like I said, we've got time."_

" _NO, Mother, we don't," Amanda sighed. "We…um…we need to get married sooner than that."_

" _Oh, but you're so young. There's no need to rush," Dotty replied._

 _Carl, who'd been silent so far spotted the guilt-ridden look on Joe's face and said tersely, "There is a need to rush your wedding, isn't there?"_

 _Amanda nodded slowly and stammered, "Y-y-yes, Daddy. I-I-I'm pregnant."_

" _What?" Dotty gaped at her. "Amanda, Darling, please tell me this is a bad joke."_

" _No, Mother, It's...Um...it's not a joke. The baby's due in March. I got the news yesterday and I…um…Joe and I have been talking about what we're going to do."_

" _So, you've known since yesterday and you're just now telling us," Her father questioned._

" _I…um…I thought that I should tell Joe first. I mean, this is his baby too."_

" _And what about my baby?" Carl raised his voice. "My God, Amanda, you just graduated from college and he hasn't even started law school yet. How do the two of you plan to support a child when you're not even prepared to support yourselves?"_

" _Daddy, please, if you'll just listen for a minute. We've got it all worked out."_

Reflecting back on her father's reaction and how he'd lectured her and Joe for the next two hours and listening to her son and future daughter-in-law ramble about how they were going to work it out, she fired at them, "Well, I guess you've just got it all figured out now, don't you? I suppose you think you're smarter than your father and I were!" She then turned on her heel and hurried down the stairs. "Mother, do we still have those packing boxes in the garage from when we moved Aunt Lillian into her condo?"

"I think so, why?" Dotty asked inquisitively.

"Thank you," Amanda replied, trotted out to the garage, returned with the boxes and ran back up the stairs to Phillip's room with them and began tearing through his closet through the things that he hadn't taken with him at the beginning of the year. Unlike her normal habit of neatly folding and packing, she was just haphazardly throwing his belongings into the boxes, not caring how they landed.

"Mom, talk to me," Jamie pleaded as he stood in the doorway watching her erratic behavior.

"There's nothing to talk about it, not when the two of you have it all planned out," Amanda snapped as she slammed the door and then continued her task.

She had just finished emptying out the closet and was working on clearing the top of the dresser when Phillip flung the door open, stormed into the room and shouted, "Mom, what are you doing with my stuff?"

"What does it look like? You're oh so grown up that you don't live under my roof anymore and that's just fine! Take the rest of your stuff with you when you go back to your Soviet slut." She then held out her hand and added, "And I want the keys to the Jeep back now!" Spying Jamie behind his brother, she said to him, "And I want the keys to the 'vette too!"

"Mo-om!" Phillip protested while Jamie argued, "Lee gave me the 'vette!"

"Well, I'm un-giving it to you! What do you think you're gonna' do with it now anyway? Are you gonna' strap your baby to the hood? Keys, now, both of you."

"Baby?"Phillip questioned with a sly look at his brother as he reluctantly dug the keys out of his pocket.

"Not now," Jamie grumbled as he handed his mother the keys to the 'vette.

"Thank you," Amanda replied tersely after she had both sets of keys in her hand. She gave Jamie the Jeep keys. "Here, you'll need a family car now that you're going to be a father."

Phillip grinned slightly at seeing his brother having the keys to the 'vette taken away from him and replaced with the Wagoneer's, but his face soon fell when his mother pocketed the Chevy keys and trotted down the stairs.

"Mom, what are you doing?" Phillip asked irritably as he trailed after her.

She spun to face him just as she reached the lower landing. "I think it's quite clear what I'm doing! Like you said, you're an adult, so try acting like one!"

"Amanda, what is going on?" Dotty questioned as she stepped out of the kitchen. "Is this whole house going completely crazy?"

Amanda turned, but instead of replying to her mother, she spat, "Get the hell out of my house!" as she spied Sonja standing in her kitchen.


	32. Chapter 32

There was a long, awkward silence while Lee and Francine both stared at Leah who stood halfway down the stairs gaping open-mouthed at her father. She looked at Francine then back to her father and asked, "Is it true? Are you guys getting divorced?"

Lee sighed, glared at Francine and hissed, "See what you did?"

"What _I_ did?" she questioned hotly. "What about what _you've_ been doing?"

"Just tell me," Leah demanded, then when there was another silence, she questioned in a small voice, "it's because of me, isn't it?"

Looking horror-stricken at Leah's statement, Lee sputtered, "N-n-no." He let out a deep sigh and then said more firmly, "NO! Absolutely not."

Francine folded her arms across her chest and said, "Why don't you explain to her what's going on? Maybe you can get her to understand it because I sure as hell don't."

Lee tensed at Francine's comments and fired back, "I need to talk to my daughter…alone." He then turned to Leah. "Come on, let's go home. Your Mom's going to be worried sick if you're not home soon."

"Oh, so now you care about Amanda's feelings?" Francine scoffed. "You sure could have fooled me at the office today."

"Zip it, Francine!" Lee turned on her with a murderous look. "Leah, get your stuff. We're going home! Now!"

Looking startled at her father raising his voice, something that he rarely did with any of the children, she hurried down the stairs. "I…uh…I need to get my stuff." She quickly gathered up her backpack, her purse and then paused as she looked at the box of her mother's belongings and asked sheepishly, "Aunt Francine, you said I could have this stuff, right?"

"It's yours, Sweetie," Francine answered with a light reassuring smile.

"Daddy, can you help me with this?"

Lee approached her, glancing briefly at Francine and then questioned, "What is all this stuff?"

Looking a bit apprehensive, Francine replied, "It's…um…It's what I had left of Candice's stuff, the stuff I've been saving for her…in case…you know…" Her voice trailed off.

"Yeah…I know." Lee let out a sigh, and ran a hand through his hair as he reflected back on the day that they'd all prepared for, yet had foolishly hoped would never come.

 **December 29, 1987, 9:00PM**

" _Thanks for coming by, Francine," Lee greeted his friend a bit anxiously as he let her into the house. She nodded stiffly as she entered and she and Lee walked in an awkward silence into the living room where Amanda sat on the sofa. Lee sank wearily down next to his wife and linked his hand with hers._

" _I'm glad you could make it," Amanda said in a positive tone, but Lee knew by the look in her eyes that there was fear and worry behind it. "I think we all need to have a talk about things."_

" _Yeah, I guess we do," Francine agreed as she sat in one of the armchairs facing them. "I want you both to know that now that I've had some time to think about things, I understand completely why you didn't tell me…about what Candice did, I mean."_

" _Francine, we didn't ask you over here for apologies," Amanda told her and then glanced at her husband. "To be honest, in a way, I'm glad it's out in the open. I've hated keeping this secret from you."_

" _Okay," Francine looked confused. "If you're not trying to bury the hatchet, then what's this all about?"_

" _Leah," Lee answered simply. "Amanda and I have talked about what will happen one day when she wants to know about her mother."_

" _Oh," Francine replied._

 _Amanda nodded. "She's only five now, but some day she's going to want to know where she came from, what her mother was like…"_

 _Lee tightened his grip on Amanda's hand. "The thing is, Francine, I don't want her to ever know the truth. No child should ever hear that they came to be as a result of…of…r-r-rape." He found that even six months later, he still have trouble saying the word._

" _So, you're planning to just lie to her the way you've lied to me for the past six months?" Francine asked incredulously._

 _Lee abruptly rose and began pacing in agitation. "Well, what do you suppose I should tell her? Oh, by the way, Honey, I never loved your mom and she knew it, but she was so damn determined that we were going to be together forever that she drugged me for two days straight just so she could get pregnant with you in a attempt to trap me into marrying her? Then when she realized she'd drugged me too much, she dumped me in a skid row alley and left me for dead?" He paused in his pacing and glowered at Francine before adding, "Candice did enough damage to that little girl by scaring her shitless for years and dragging her all over hell's half-acre her whole life! You think I should let the woman continue to terrorize her from the grave?"_

" _Okay, okay, I get it. Candice did some horrible things, but haven't you learned anything yet about keeping huge secrets from people you care about…like, say, I don't know, hiding your marriage?"_

" _Francine, come on, you said you understood why we did that," Amanda pointed out. "You said that the first day I told you about it when I came to you because I wasn't sure how Lee would react in finding out that I'm pregnant."_

" _And that worked out sooo well," Francine replied sarcastically. "You hid your pregnancy from him too until Candice forced you to come clean, not only about that, but about ALL your secrets. Have you already forgotten how hurt and angry your children were and now you wanna' do the same thing to Leah too?"_

" _But this is different," Lee countered._

" _No, it's not. You kept your marriage and your profession secret to protect your kids, just like you kept this secret from me to protect me and now, you wanna' keep the same secret from your daughter for the same reason."_

" _It's not just about that," Amanda explained. "It's more about not giving her more information than she needs to know."_

 _Francine couldn't help chuckling. "Well, we do deal in "need-to-know" only information on a regular basis, don't we?"_

 _Lee and Amanda also laughed, the tension between the three of them dissipating for a moment. "Yeah, we do," Lee said._

 _"The thing is, Francine," Amanda said, "We know that Candice told Leah her whole life that you were her best friend and we thought that maybe when the time comes, if it does, that she may come to you to learn about her mother...maybe even before she comes to us. If that happens...could you, I don't know...just share with her what Candice was like when you knew her...not what she was like at the end."_

 _Francine nodded, but by the look on her face, Lee was sure that she was still reeling from the new knowledge she had about her friend. "You okay?" he asked her._

 _"I...I just...I just still find it hard to believe that the woman in those files is the same woman who saved me from a terrorist's sniper rifle in '81 while you were off in Italy swooning over Eva. I feel so...so betrayed." Francine shook her head._

 _"Tell me about it. I never thought Eva would have turned on me either, but..." He sat back down and squeezed Amanda's hand gently, "It makes me all the more grateful that I have Amanda."_

 _"And that I have Jonathan," Francine concurred with a nod. She let out a deep sigh and then said in a softer voice, "I...uh...I just wish she were still here so that I could let her know how I feel about all of this, maybe help her get the help she needed. Having Jonathan back in my life...It...it was a challenge at first. I was so afraid that I'd do something to scare him off again and he...he was so patient and he did everything he could to prove that he was sticking around this time." She glanced down at her hands and idly fiddled with the diamond in her ring. "It took a while, but we were finally able to forgive each other for the hurts of the past. I just wish I could have had the same opportunity with Candice. I hurt her too, you know."_

 _"How so?" Amanda questioned._

 _"When she found out from you about-" she sighed again. "You know, about Lee and me. She should have heard it from me, not you. But I-I was just so happy to have her back and...and then she was so angry with me...not only for that, but over..." She looked back up at Amanda. "Over "taking your side" by reminding her that Lee was happily married to you. She took that as the greatest betrayal of all and I felt so...so guilty over that, but now...now I'm the one-" She looked at Lee then and finished with, "I'm just glad I have Jonathan to lean on now and...And you two."_

 _At seeing the unshed tears glistening in his friend's eyes, Lee smiled as it hit him just how far he and Francine had come over the years. In the past, a betrayal like this would have sent them both on a self-destructive path and caused them to bury themselves in work in an attempt to bury the pain. Now, instead they were embracing the good things in their lives for strength to heal from the pain. "Who knows? Maybe having Amanda with all her mothering skills here for her, Leah will never need to ask about her birth mother," he said optimistically._

"What are you two talking about?" Leah asked in confusion, looking from one to the other, startling Lee out of his thoughts. When she was answered by silence, she tried again. "It's about my mom, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Lee shook his head. "Yeah, it is. Come on." He picked up the box and headed for the door. "Let's go." On his way to the door, he turned back to Francine for a moment and asked, "Hey, can you call the house to let Amanda know that we're on our way home?"

"Will do," Francine replied as she made her way to do that. She may be mad at Lee, but she was still his friend and Amanda's.

Father and daughter stepped outside and Lee took his time to open the trunk of his Ford to stow the box away, dreading the conversation that he knew was long overdue. "So...uh...how'd you get here?" He knew the answer because he'd tracked her down by her cell phone's usage, knew she'd made a call to Francine, but he was stalling, not wanting to answer the questions that he knew she had.

"The bus," she answered. "How'd you find me?"

Lee grinned at her. "I'm a spy, remember? We have our ways."

"Dad, come on!" She then gave him a cheeky grin. "Intelligence operative, remember? You hate the word spy."

He couldn't help laughing at seeing her dimpled grin, so much like his own and that of his late father, very much a Stetson trait. "Yeah, yeah, I do," he nodded. His smile faded as he thought of the conversation they were about to have and slammed the lid of the trunk closed then got into the driver's side of the car and as Leah got in the passenger side, he reminded her, "Seat belt."

"Yeah, Dad, I know. Mom has drilled it into my head for years," she grumbled, getting irritated with him still treating her as if she were a little girl.

"Oh, so she's your mom now?"

Leah sighed. "I...I shouldn't have said that she wasn't. I'm sorry that I did."

"Well, you should tell her that," Lee scolded as he pulled out of Francine's driveway.

"I...um...I was going to, the same night we had that fight about me coming home late, but I...Um...I heard you guys fighting...about me...and I..."

 _Bingo,_ he thought. So that was why she thought the divorce was her fault. He only wished that he could tell her that there wasn't going to be a divorce and was silently cursing Francine for letting it slip in front of her. "Look, Leah, what's going on between Mom and me has nothing to do with you and I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything to the little ones about it. We...we have some stuff to work out and I...I don't know if there is going to be a divorce or not." He knew very well that there wasn't going to be, but he couldn't tell her what was going on any more than he could Amanda. "So, I...I'm guessing you've got some questions about your mom...your real mom, I mean? That's why you came here?"

"Yeah. I..." she fidgeted nervously with her hands, "I...I wanted to ask you, but you...you always seem like you don't want to talk about her." She was silent for a beat and then looked over at him. "Did...did you love her?"

 _The million-dollar question,_ Lee thought miserably. "I...um...I cared about her...at one time..."

"But did you _love_ her?"

Lee sighed and answered honestly, "No, I never did."

"Oh," Leah replied disappointedly as she looked back down at her hands. She then looked back at him and nodded in understanding. "So,..um…if you didn't love her, does that mean...you were just using her, like Phillip and his sorority girls?"

"No, never," Lee declared adamantly. "I...uh...I was in a really bad place when I met your mother. It had only been a year since I watched my partner take a bullet in the head that was meant for me and I'd just come back from Italy and had my heart broken by a woman that I had hoped to marry. I-I...I wasn't capable of even loving myself then, let alone anyone else. I don't know if that's something that you can understand, but I-" He broke off abruptly, not sure how to continue, immensely grateful that he had rush hour DC traffic to deal with to keep from having to look at his daughter, knowing the disappointment he'd see on her face. He decided to switch gears a bit. "It wasn't until I met Amanda that I really learned how to deal with the pain from my past. Her patience with me and her determination to help me open up about it is what helped me to heal from all of that."

"You really love her," Leah commented, "But not my mother."

"Yeah, I do and I know that's not what you want to hear, but I don't want to lie to you. I do want you to know that no matter how I feel or felt about your mother; that has nothing to do with how I feel about you. I love you, Leah, and I always will," he reassured her.

"I remember that when I first met you, I…um…I was so excited to see you, but you…you weren't."

"It's not that I didn't care then, Leah. I was just thrown…shocked to learn that I had a child that I never knew existed. When your mom came back to town with you and told me I was your dad and that she wanted the three of us to be a family, I-I-I admit that I was so thrown by the whole thing and I reacted badly at first… Amanda and I were already married, but no one knew it and what I didn't know is that she was already pregnant with the twins and she hadn't told me yet. I don't know how much more you remember about that time..."

"Just little pieces," Leah answered. She thought for a moment about what Francine had told her earlier. "I...did Mom save my life?"

"Yeah, she did," Lee replied with a proud smile on his face for how Amanda had handled herself during the assault on the old house. "You know those little scars on the right side of your neck?"

Leah flipped down the visor to access the mirror behind it, pulled back her hair and ran her hand across the tiny, faded marks there as she examined them. "These?"

"Mm-hmm," Lee responded. "Those are all that's left of that day. One of the goons who attacked us at the old house had you in a chokehold so tight that his fingernails cut into your skin. You were in the hospital for a day and half after that just so the doctors could be sure that you were breathing okay and to make sure that those little cuts didn't get infected."

"They're pretty well healed now," Leah mused. "You can barely see them anymore. I always wondered where they came from."

Lee sighed as he watched her fold the visor back to its position out of the corner of his eye, wishing with all his might that he could heal her emotional scars as well. "Listen, we're gonna' be out of town for the next couple of days for work, but how about when we get back, you and I go through that box of stuff together and I'll answer any questions that I can about your mother, okay? Just as long as you understand that there are some things between adults that just need to stay private." He hoped that one statement would be enough so that he'd never have to tell her just how far her mother had gone to keep him.

"Yeah, okay, and when we get home, I'll make sure to apologize to Mom," Leah added.

"Good, that'll make her happy," Lee replied with a smile. "You know that she loves you too, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"I mean, she really, _really_ loves you. It doesn't matter that we have Jennie and Emily. In her heart, you are her first-born daughter. Do you understand?"

Leah nodded. "I do. It's just like in your heart, Phillip is your first son."

"You got it," Lee shook his head and smiled at her ability to bounce back so quickly. She had definitely NOT inherited that trait from him, or from Candice. That was all Amanda's influence.

As he pulled the Ford onto their street, he couldn't help noticing the car at the curb on the end of the block and that it was the same one Amanda had nearly confronted at the agency. _Shit,_ he thought as he pulled into the driveway, his left hand instinctively sliding from the steering wheel to the pistol at his back, "Leah, get into the house. I'll be in later."

"Dad, what is it?" Leah asked worriedly at seeing the panicked look on his face.

He quickly got out of the car, trotted around to her side of it, yanked the door open and pointed toward the front door of their home. "House, now!" He barked and as soon as she was safely in the house, he slammed the door, released the safety on his gun and sprinted across the street to find out who was in the other vehicle.


	33. Chapter 33

Phillip looked horror-struck as he slipped down the stairs past his mother and saw the murderous look on her face. He'd only ever seen that expression on her face one time before and that was at the old house when they'd been attacked. He vividly recalled her standing on one side of the doorway to the dining room with her gun drawn while Lee had stood on the other, both ready to take out anyone who threatened their family. Now that she bore the same look and it was directed at his girlfriend, he stepped in front of her to block her path to Sonja, nodded toward the hand she had poised on the revolver at her hip and said, "No, Mom, you're not going to do this."

"Get out of my way," Amanda hissed as she pushed past him. "She's not welcome here!"

Dotty gaped at her daughter as she'd also noticed that Amanda looked poised for a fight. "Amanda, have you completely lost your mind?"

"Mother, you don't know who she is," Amanda replied, but never took her eyes off Sonja.

"She's Phillip's girlfriend, that's all I need to know," Dotty replied simply as she stepped back into the kitchen. "And we were having a lovely little chat before you came in."

"Oh, I'm sure," Amanda answered sarcastically before turning back to Sonja. "You need to leave…now."

"If she goes, I go," Phillip warned. "You invited me to dinner because you said you had stuff to talk to me about."

"You, not HER," Amanda continued to glare at her nemesis.

"We're a package deal, Mom. Either she stays or I go. Take your pick." Phillip countered, folding his arms across his chest and staring his mother down, letting her know that he could be just as stubborn as she was.

Finally releasing her grip on her gun, she grabbed Phillip by the arm, "Basement, now! We need to talk." She then tugged on his arm, leading him down the stairs, and through the playroom. She released her son's arm and said, "Lock the door."

When Phillip did as he was told, she halted at a large bookcase along the back wall of the room, reached for a book, pulled it out slightly and waited as the bookcase slid aside, revealing a metal door with an alarm panel set into the wall beside it.

"Mom?"Phillip said questioningly.

"Wait." She punched in the alarm code and as the door slid open on its runners, she gripped her son's arm again and hustled him inside, flipping on the lights as she did.

Phillip jumped slightly as the heavy metal door slammed shut behind them. He glanced around the room, noticed the desks, computers and filing cabinets along one wall, on two walls were folded-up bunks, and tall cupboards on the fourth and asked, "What is this place?"

"Have a seat," She nodded toward the table in the middle of the room and then turned from him as she walked to one of the file cabinets and began rummaging through it. "Lee and I had this set up before we moved in," she said in answer to his question without turning around. "You wanna' be an agent in the future, you should learn to take some steps to protect yourself." She then turned back to him and dropped a thick file onto the table in front of him.

"What's this?" Phillip questioned.

"Everything you could ever want to know...or NOT want to know about your little girlfriend up there."

Phillip sighed and scratched his head. "Mom, what are you trying to do?" He then glanced down at the file, saw that it had the agency's seal on it and then looked back up at her. "Are you even supposed to have this?"

"I have clearance," she answered obtusely.

"But I meant here...in the house," Phillip said curiously. "Isn't that a violation of the rules?"

"Phillip, you'll learn in time that there are going to be some times as an agent that it's necessary to break the rules to keep yourself alive," Amanda stated blandly as she sat across from him. "Now, go on read it. If you insist on running around with her, you should know who she really is."

Phillip gave her an obstinate look that reminded her very much of when he was a little boy and would refuse to eat his vegetables, pushed the file toward her and said, "I DO know who she really is."

Amanda gave him her best "mom" look, shoved the folder back toward him and countered, "Well, you don't have the security code to get out of here. We're not leaving this room until you've read it." At seeing the aghast look on her son's face, her tone softened, "Look, if you read it and still believe she's sincere, then I'll let her stay, but not until I'm sure that you know everything."

"This is my home too, you know," Phillip fired back.

"Oho, is that so? When was the last time you made a mortgage payment or bought groceries or helped out with the electric bill, or for that matter, even paid for your own car insurance?"

"All right, all right, I get your point," He snapped and began to read.

While Phillip read, Amanda rose and began pacing as she reflected on when she'd had a similar argument with her parents months before her first-born had made his appearance in the world.

 **August 1, 1972, 11:00PM**

 _After hearing her father lecture her while pacing and shooting daggers at Joe with his eyes for two hours straight and not letting her get a word in edgewise or her mother either, even though they'd both tried, in a shaky voice, Amanda said, "Daddy, I know you're disappointed and...and angry even, but please try to understand..."_

 _"I DO understand," Carl West fired back shooting a menacing look at Joe King. "More than you think, young lady." He finally halted in his pacing and fixed his gaze solely on Joe. "And you, Joseph King, what do you have to say for yourself?"_

 _"I-I-I I'm trying to do the r-r-right thing here," Joe stammered nervously._

 _"The right thing? Is that what you call it? The_ _ **right**_ _thing would have been not to knock my daughter up in the first place."_

 _"Carl, Darling," Dotty interjected as she approached her husband and placed a calming hand on his arm. "There's no need to be so crude. I know you're upset, but we should focus on the joy of the situation, don't you think? I mean, after all a baby is a wonderful blessing."_

 _"Wonderful?" Carl questioned, his eyes flaring as he shook off his wife's touch. "How wonderful do you think our daughter's life is going to be in a few months when she's caring for a baby by herself while he's off in law school? They might as well not get married at all if he's not going to be there for her or our grandchild."_

 _"I plan to be there for her every step of the way," Joe argued. "This is MY child too, after all."_

 _"Oh? You do, huh? Tell me, how do you plan to do that with all your big dreams of saving the world, joining the Peace Corps or whatever other nonsense you've got cooked up in that moony head of yours? What are you going to do, drag my daughter and grandchild all over hell's half-acre so you can feel like a big man? Or do you plan to just leave them here while you traipse off to God knows where? What kind of husband would that make you to her?" When Joe was silent and only looked at the floor, he said in a more demanding tone, "Answer me!"_

 _"I-I-I...uh...I hadn't thought that far ahead," Joe replied without looking up._

 _"Of course you didn't," Carl countered icily. "Too busy thinking with the head in your pants to use the one on your shoulders!"_

 _"Carl!" Dotty reprimanded her husband for his crudity._

 _"It's a fact, Dotty," He growled at his wife._

 _Amanda leapt to her feet, her eyes flaring and snapped, "Daddy, stop it! I mean it! You've made your opinion perfectly clear, but that isn't going to change anything. I've made up my mind. We're going to get married and be a family and there's nothing that you can say or do to change our minds."_

 _"Is that a fact?"_

 _"Yes, it's a fact," Amanda stated firmly, "And it's also a fact that I was involved in this whole thing too. It takes two to make a baby."_

 _"But what did he do to coerce you into it?" Carl then turned to Joe and snarled, "What did you do to con my daughter into giving up her innocence to you?"_

 _Amanda laughed sardonically and gaped at her father. "Is that what you think, Daddy? That Joe somehow seduced me into losing my virginity? I'll have you know that is NOT the case. Joe wasn't my first. In fact, he wasn't even my second."_

 _"What?" Carl turned back to his daughter, shock evident on his face and in the tone of his voice while Dotty suddenly became very interested in the pattern of the throw rug on the living room floor._

 _"That's right, Daddy," Amanda answered coolly. "I'm not the innocent young girl that you seem to think I am. Remember Billy Peterson, my date to the junior prom?"_

 _"Was he the eight-second guy?" Joe quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood._

 _"Is that supposed to be funny?" Carl snapped at Joe._

 _"Joe, Sweetheart, cool it," Amanda admonished her fiancé then turned to her father and said, "Maybe you remember Jim Saarinen from my freshman year of college?"_

 _"I can't hear this," Carl replied as he turned from his daughter and faced Joe again. "I want you out of my house. You're not welcome here anymore!"_

 _"Carl," Dotty scolded her husband as she finally looked up._

 _"I mean it! I want him out of here now!_

 _"Don't you move a muscle," Amanda told Joe as she watched her fiancé' rise from his seat. "Listen, Daddy, I live here too. Joe is going to be my husband and I want him to stay."_

 _"You live here on our dime," Carl reminded her. "So, who is or is not welcome in our home is not up to you."_

 _"If he goes, I go," She countered bluntly._

 _"There's the door," Carl shouted as he gestured to the front door. "If you're so smart and you've got it all worked out, walk on through it! If you two are going to get married and have a family of your own, you shouldn't be living here anymore anyway!"_

 _"Fine!' she snapped as she reached for Joe's hand, "I'll send you a wedding invitation!"_

Amanda shuddered as she thought of how much her own actions with her boys had mirrored her father's toward her and Joe that long ago night. She'd taken off with Joe and spent the night at his little one-room apartment in Georgetown, the whole time worrying and stewing about how to get back into her father's good graces. She could have saved herself some worry though because her father showed up the next day, the picture of contrition and had apologized for his bad reaction to the news that he was going to be a grandfather and had promised to walk her down the aisle telling her that it wasn't every day that his only daughter got married.

Those thoughts in mind, she made a mental note to do the same with Jamie and Beth. She'd reacted harshly herself to the news that she was going to be a grandmother, but in the end her father's initial reaction had been right; Joe _had_ left her and the boys alone while he went off to save the world. She cringed a little at the thought of all the fights they'd had about it during the later years of their marriage, her begging him to stay and him begging her to come along, never ending their impasse until that fateful day in 1981 when he'd come home to find divorce papers in his inbox at the office. That thought turned her mind to the ones that Joe had hand-delivered to her today, a wave of sadness hitting her as she hoped that this case would be resolved soon and the proceedings would never be completed. She could at least take comfort in the fact that after her conversation with Dr. Smyth, she knew that Lee didn't mean it.

"Mom?"Phillip's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Yes, Sweetheart?" she replied in a much softer tone than she'd used with him all day.

Phillip closed the file, rose from his seat and answered, "Okay, I've read this now and there's not a thing in it that I didn't already know. She told me that she hadn't left anything out and she was telling the truth." He looked down at the floor for a moment and then looked back up at her and in a timid voice asked, "So, can we stay?"

"If that's what you want. I made you a promise and I intend to keep it," She responded as she reached for the alarm panel to let them out. As they made their way back into the playroom and she closed up the makeshift bunker, she added, "But don't think that I won't be watching her very closely."

"Mom, please just give her a chance, okay?" Phillip requested as they ascended the stairs.

"I will, but that doesn't mean that I trust her any farther-" Her words were cut off by the sound of squealing tires outside and Leah shrieking "Daddy!"


	34. Chapter 34

Author's Note: The attack referenced in the flashback scene in this chapter goes back to Chapter 31 of the original "Tug of War," if anyone needs a refresher. So sorry for the long delay in updates and I thank you for your patience.

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"Daddy!" Leah shrieked and raced for the door, but was soon pushed aside by her mother.

"Leah Francine Stetson, don't you EVEN think about it," Amanda scolded sternly as she held her eldest daughter back from the door then barked at her, "Get the little ones and get them downstairs...NOW!" As Leah moved to obey, she drew her weapon, and then tore open the front door, sprinting outside to find the street eerily quiet. She crept down the block and that's when she heard it...the unmistakable sound of gunfire behind her and squealing tires again. Whipping around, she still saw nothing and quickly realized that it was coming from around the corner.

She trotted to the end of the block and warily peered around the corner to find Lee crouched behind a neighbor's hedges, pistol at his feet, his left hand clutching a wound on his right arm "Lee!" she hissed as she approached him and knelt beside him.

"I'm okay," He spat out through gritted teeth, "But the bastards got away!"

Amanda holstered her gun, glanced down the now empty street and questioned, "Who?"

Lee shook his head as she helped him to his feet and said, "I wish I knew. I was trying to find out when they just shot away from the curb like a bat out of hell and when I tried to blow out their tires, that's when they nailed me."

"Well, let's get you inside and get you bandaged up," she suggested as she nudged him toward the house.

He attempted to shake her off but she held him fast and the combined pain in his arm and his ribs from his prior injury didn't allow him the strength to fight her off. "Amanda, I'm fine. I don't need your mothering. Save it for the kids, huh."

"Well, you're acting like a big kid. That should count for something," she countered.

Lee couldn't help laughing at that. "Yeah."

"Now, come on," she insisted. "Our teenage daughter's worried about you...not to mention, she's in for a big lecture for not telling anyone where she was going after school today."

"Maybe you should go kinda' easy on her. I had a bit of a talk with her today, she...um...she's got some questions about her...um...her mom."

"Uh-oh," Amanda frowned.

"Yeah," Lee agreed.

"So...that's why...?"

"Yeah..."

"I'll...um...I'll just talk to her."

"Good," He said as they pushed open the front door together.

"What the hell happened?" Jamie inquired as his parents walked into the house.

"First aid kit now, questions later," Amanda commanded. Jamie nodded as Amanda steered her injured husband toward the living room and helped him to the sofa and then glowered at him as she roughly yanked his shirt open. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking of finding out who was following you! Excuse me for giving a damn about you!"

"Oho! So now you give a damn about me? You sure could have fooled me!"

"Well, you ARE still the mother of my children!"

"Lover's quarrel?" Sonja questioned as she sauntered into the room. "Or is this another one of those playacting bits you two are so adept at?"

"Shut UP!" Both Lee and Amanda shouted at her then looked at each other and laughed, the tension between them broken for the moment.

"What the hell is she doing here anyway?" Lee growled.

"Hey!" Phillip exclaimed.

"Talk to your son about that one," Amanda answered tersely.

"Here you go," Jamie interjected as he returned bearing the first-aid kit and reached to hand it to his mother.

"Why don't you give that to your brother?"

"ME?" Phillip questioned warily. "Jamie's the one who wants to be a doctor, he oughtta' do it."

"But you're the one who wants to be a spy. One day you're gonna' have to learn how to dress a bullet wound on the spot...do a good field dressing when you're miles away from a medical facility. That can sometimes mean the difference between life and death for your partner. " She then turned to Lee for acknowledgement. "Right, Honey?"

"Absolutely," Lee smiled at his wife's ingenuity.

"Now's as good a time to learn as any." She then rose and walked toward the doorway, clapping him on the shoulder as she went. "I need to talk to your sister anyway," then called Leah's name.

"Hey, Jamie, if you don't mind," Lee said as he dug into his pants for his car keys. "There's a box in the trunk of my car. Can you bring it in and take it up to Leah's room?"

"Yeah." Jamie nodded and left the room just as his mother and sister walked past him and up the stairs.

As Amanda and Leah entered her room and Amanda closed the door behind her, Leah flopped sullenly onto her bed, plucking a doll from it, clutching it to her chest and said with a pout, "Let me guess...I'm grounded for the rest of my life, right?"

Amanda sat beside her and answered with a shake of her head, "No, Leah, you're not...You're not grounded at all. I know you've been going through a rough time...I don't know what that rough time's been all about, but I'd like it if you'd talk to me about it. I can't help you with it if you don't tell me what it is." She noticed that Leah only clutched her doll tighter and tried a different tactic. She nodded toward the doll. "Good old Lois-Ann. Do you remember when I gave her to you?"

"No." Leah shook her head and looked at the doll. "You gave her to me?"

"Yeah, I did. She was mine when I was a little girl. I gave her to you when we first found out for sure that you belonged to us...I remember how happy you were and how you told me you had never had a doll of your very own before and how sad I was for you that you hadn't."

"You hated my mom, didn't you?" Leah blurted out. When Amanda didn't answer right away, she flung the doll at her and snapped, "Here! Give this to one of your OWN daughters! I don't want it anymore!"

Amanda took both of Leah's hands in hers and said gently, "Leah, don't. I want you to listen to me, okay? You ARE my own daughter. It doesn't matter to me that I didn't give birth to you the way that I did Jennie or Emily. I love you just as much as I do them and you know something? I _chose_ to be your mother. With them, I didn't have a choice, I was going to be their mother no matter what. Don't you know how much more special that makes you?"

Leah reflected back on her father's words to her in the car about how in her heart, she was Amanda's first-born daughter. Was it really true? she sat up and looked her adopted mother straight in the eye, "But you did hate my mom, didn't you?"

"No, Sweetheart...never. I...um...I felt very sad for her... You see...she and I...well, we disagreed on a lot of things...but one thing that we had in common is that we both loved your father very much. The problem with that is that..."

"That you couldn't both be with him," Leah finished for her.

"You got it and he chose me and well...your mom...she had a really hard time accepting that...and that led her to do some things...that just weren't very nice, but your mom...she loved you and she always wanted to make sure that you were protected and safe." Amanda released her hands and wrapped her arm around her to comfort her.

"Like you and Daddy?" Leah asked as she leaned into her.

"Yeah," as she held up Lois-Ann with her free hand. "Do you remember anything at all from when you first came to live with us?"

"Just little stuff...Dad asked me the same thing."

"Well...the way you were holding Lois-Ann just now...that's something you've done for a long time now...even then."

 **Monday, June 22, 1987, late afternoon**

 _After both Lee and Leah were released from the hospital following the attack on the house, Lee and Amanda entered the apartment, Lee carrying bags of groceries while Amanda with department-store shopping bags slung over one arm,held Leah's hand with her other and Leah in turn clutched Lois-Ann tightly in her free arm. She looked up at them nervously and asked nervously, "What are we doing here? Wh-where are we?"_

 _Amanda set down her shopping bags, took both of Leah's hands in hers, knelt to her level to make eye contact with her and explained, "This is where Daddy lives. We're all going to stay here for a little while until the big house is fixed."_

 _"House go boom!" Leah said in a half-excited, half-frightened whisper._

 _"That's right, Sweetie, it did," Amanda answered as she ruffled her blond curls. "That's what this stuff in these bags is for.. Remember, you picked out your Wonder Woman sheets yourself?"_

 _"Wonder Woman!" Leah shouted in gleeful sing-song voice. "Just like you, "Manda."_

 _Lee chuckled heartily and inserted, "Yeah, just like "Manda," as he too knelt to his daughter's level...something he learned from his wife over the past few days helped Leah to feel more secure. "Now, I'm going to go into the kitchen to fix us some dinner, so why don't you let Amanda help get you settled, huh?"_

 _Leah glanced from her father to her stepmother then back again before whispering, "Can the mean men find us here?" Lee and Amanda exchanged worried looks._

 _Setting the grocery bags down, Lee wrapped a comforting arm around the tiny girl and said, "No, Honey, the mean men are gone...They're in jail now where they're supposed to be."_

 _"Good," Leah said with a firm nod and then scrambled for the bags Amanda had carried in._

 _Lee laughed at her exuberance...still not used to the seemingly limitless energy of a four-year-old as he plucked the grocery bags from the floor and headed to the kitchen._

 _Once their dinner was finished, Lee and Amanda once again exchanged worried glances as they prepared for the unpleasant conversation that they knew they had to have with Leah. "Lee?" Amanda whispered tentatively._

 _"Yeah...I know." He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Better get this over with." Then in more upbeat tone, he scooped Leah up, doll and all, and said, "Come on, Little Princess, let's go into the living room. 'Manda and I have something kinda' serious we need to talk to you about, okay?"_

 _As the three made their way into the living room and settled onto the couch, Lee and Amanda facing one another with Leah settled onto his lap, Leah asked, "It's about Mommy, right? She got hurt when the house went boom."_

 _Amanda swallowed hard, blinking back tears. While she had never cared for Candice and was revolted by what she'd done to Lee, how did you explain to a child that young that the only parent she'd ever known was never coming back? She took a deep breath and answered, "Yes, Leah...she got hurt...she got hurt badly...so hurt that she...she went to heaven."_

 _Leah stared at both of them blankly for a long moment as if processing the information and then blurted out, "Can she come back?"_

 _"No, Princess...she can't." Lee answered._

 _"Can I go there to see her?"_

 _"No, Leah," Amanda responded. "You see, when you go to heaven...that means that you can't come back and people can't see you anymore...It means..."_

 _"She's dead..." Leah stated matter-of-factly with a firm nod as she clutched Lois-Ann tightly._

 _"That's right," Lee confirmed._

 _"If you want to talk about this, Leah, we're here for you," Amanda said soothingly as she held her hands._

 _Leah shook her head. "Mommy told me..."_

 _"Told you what?" Lee questioned._

 _"Mean men might get her."_

 _Amanda looked heartbroken at those words from someone so young and not knowing what else to say, leaned in to embrace the young girl. She and Lee just held her in silence for a moment neither knowing how to handle her eerie calm regarding her mother's death. What happened next floored them both._

 _The somber silence was broken by Leah wriggling out of their arms, looking Amanda straight in the eye and asking point blank,_ "'Manda, does that mean you're my mommy now?" 

"The very next day, we started the paperwork for me to legally adopt you," Amanda finished explaining to her. She then sighed before continuing, "but it has always worried me that you didn't have more of a reaction to your mother's death...that you were so calm about it."

"I don't remember that at all," Leah shook her head.

"So, you wanna' tell me what's got you so upset lately?"Amanda inquired as she brushed Leah's hair back from her face. "It has something to do with your latest science project, right?"

Leah nodded. "It's a genealogy project...inherited genes and stuff like that..." she released her mother and walked to the mirror tugging at her blond curls. "And the deeper I get into this project...the more I see how different I am from everyone else in the family...that I don't belong."

"No, you're not...you're not different," Amanda stated adamantly as she stepped behind her and gestured to her reflection in the mirror. "You've got your father's eyes...his dimples...and some things you can't see...like his fighting spirit...his ability to bounce back in the face of loss..." Amanda smiled at her in the mirror. "He lost both of his parents when he was only five, but look at him now...he's a tough cookie...just like you."

"I guess," Leah answered, still not convinced.

"There are also some things that you inherited in other ways..." Amanda continued, "Like the way that you look after your younger brother and sisters...you learned that from Jamie and Phillip...the way that they embraced you as their little sister with no questions asked...they just loved you as the part of the family that you are. Let me ask you a question about this project of yours?"

"Shoot," Leah replied as she turned to face her.

"Did Mr. Avery bring up the concept of nature versus nurture...what I mean is...traits that are inherited versus traits that are learned?"

"Sort of..."

"Well, maybe you should ask him about it in class tomorrow. I bet that you would make a big impact in your project, because while you may not have a lot of the same physical traits as the other members of this family...don't ever for one second think that that means that you don't belong, you got me?"

"Yeah..." Leah nodded and hugged Amanda. mother and daughter for the moment calling a truce.

The moment of peace was not to last though as Jamie entered the room carrying the box from the car and worriedly said, "Um...Mom...you'd better come downstairs. All hell's breaking loose down there."


	35. Chapter 35

My Dear Readers,

After a lot of thinking and some long chats with good friends, Sheila and Janet, I have decided to reinstate these stories and retrieve them from the site's recovery files before it is too late to do so and still keep them intact in their current form.

I had initially removed all of my incomplete stories in both of my fandoms, Gilmore Girls and Scarecrow and Mrs. King simply because I could not get many of my readers to understand that the endless cries of "update, update, update" were hurtful to me, even though it has been posted on my site profile for months.

For the past year, I have been in a state of nearly non-stop pain and have been living on combination of pain medication, anti-inflammatory drugs and muscle relaxers just so I can get through my days. This makes it extremely difficult to concentrate and to maintain my focus on the ongoing and complicated storylines such as those found in "The Honeymoon's Over," "We're Ok," and others. This is why I have been sticking to short fillers and one-shots.

I know that this is a disappointment to my readers as I'm a reader too and know first-hand just how frustrating it is to become involved in a story only to find it incomplete. Had I known that this was going to happen to me, I would never have begun any of these fics. When I will be able to update any of these, if ever, I just don't know. However, many of my readers stated that something was better than nothing and that they preferred to have the partially completed stories than to see them disappear forever.

Understand that I do not want my inbox flooded with sympathetic responses so please do not "review" or PM with "I'm sorry," "I'm praying for you," or anything similar, not because I don't want people to care, but simply because with my ongoing health issues and having recently had my husband diagnosed with lung cancer to boot, I have too much on my plate to be able to properly reply. Anyone ignoring this request will be blocked and this applies to even those with whom I communicate on a regular basis. I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but I am tired all the time, in pain all the time and I feel the need once again to stress how disheartening it is not to have my wishes respected in this matter. Many of you know how to find me on Facebook and can check in there if you have a concern.

Thank you

Lanie Sullivan


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